FRED  M.  I>KWM 

BOOKHKI.I-KR 


IN  ACCORDANCE 
WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

OLIVER    ONIONS 


IN  ACCORDANCE 
WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 


BY 

OLIVER  ONIONS 

Author  of 'The  Exception,"  etc. 


GEORGE  H.  DORAN  COMPANY 

NEW  YORK 
Publishers  in  America  for  Hodder  &  Stougkton 


Copyright,  1913 
BY  GEORGE  H.  DORAJT  COMPANY 


TO 

WILLIAM  ARTHUR 
LEWIS  BETTANY 


502!ij_ 


CONTENTS 

HOLBORN  n 

PART  II 

WOBURN  PLACE  113 

PART  III 

THE  GARR.ET  191 


PABT  I 
HOLBOKN 


IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH 
THE  EVIDENCE 


IT  seems  strangely  lite  old  times  to  me  to  be  mak- 
ing these  jottings  in  Pitman's  shorthand.  I 
was  surprised  to  find  I  remembered  as  much  of  it 
as  I  do,  for  I  dropped  it  suddenly  when  Archie 
Merridew  died,  and  Archie's  clear,  high-pitched 
voice  was  the  last  that  ever  dictated  to  me  for  speed, 
while  I  myself  have  not  dictated  since  Archie  took 
down  his  last  message  from  my  reading.  That  will 
be — say  a  dozen  years  or  more  ago  next  August. 
It  may  be  a  little  more,  or  a  little  less.  Nor,  since 
I  do  not  keep  it  as  an  anniversary,  does  the  day  of 
the  month  matter. 

Either  in  my  rooms  or  his,  we  had  a  good  deal 
of  this  sort  of  practise  together  about  that  time, 
young  Archie  and  I — reading  aloud,  taking  down 
and  transcribing.  I  am  wrong  in  speaking  of  my 
"  rooms  "  though ;  I  had  only  one,  a  third-floor  bed- 
room near  the  very  noisiest  corner  of  King's  Cross. 
It  was  just  opposite  one  of  these  running  electric 
advertisements  that  changed  from  green  to  red  and 

from  red  to  green  three  times  every  minute;  you 

11 


12     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

know  them;  there  are  plenty  of  them  now,  but  they 
were  new  then.  The  street  was  narrow;  this  hor- 
rible thing  was  at  a  rounded  corner  not  more  than 
five  and  twenty  yards  away;  and  even  when  my 
lamp  was  lighted  it  still  tinged  my  ceiling  and  the 
upper  part  of  the  wall  above  my  bed,  red  and  green, 
red  and  green — for  I  had  only  a  little  muslin  half- 
curtain  and  no  blind,  and  if  I  wanted  to  read  in 
bed  I  had  either  to  turn  my  lamp  out  until  I  had 
undressed  or  else  to  undress  in  a  corner  by  the 
window  side  of  the  room,  because  of  being  over- 
looked from  across  the  way.  I  don't  think  there 
were  any  other  lodgers  in  the  house.  It  was  a 
"  pub,"  the  "  Coburg,"  but  I  could  get  on  to  the 
staircase  without  going  through  the  bars  on  the 
ground  floor,  and  always  did  so.  The  rather  sour 
smell  of  these  lower  parts  of  my  abode  reached  me 
up  my  three  flights  of  stairs,  but  I  had  got  used  to 
that.  It  was  the  noise  that  was  the  worst  (except, 
of  course,  that  red  and  green  fiend  of  an  advertise- 
ment)— the  noise  that  greeted  me  when  I  woke  of 
a  morning,  awaited  me  when  I  came  back  from 
Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  at  night,  and  often  became 
maddening  when,  at  half-past  twelve,  they  clashed 
to  the  iron  gates  of  the  public-house  and  turned 
the  topers  out  into  the  street,  to  fraternise  or 
quarrel  for  half-an-hour  or  more  beneath  my  win- 
dow. 


HOLBORN  13 

But  we  worked  more  in  Archie  Merridew's  rooms 
than  in  mine.  "  Rooms  "  is  correct  here.  He  had 
the  whole  top  floor  of  a  house  near  the  Foundling 
Hospital,  a  pretty  house  with  a  fan-lighted  ivy- 
green  door,  early  Georgian,  a  brightly  twinkling 
brass  knocker  and  bellpulls,  and  a  white-washed  area 
inside  the  railings  to  make  the  basement  lighter. 
His  folks  lived  at  Guildford ;  his  father  paid  his  rent 
for  him,  thirty-eight  pounds  a  year;  and  his  pleas- 
ant quarters  under  the  roof  had  everything  that  mine 
hadn't — he  could  sit  outside  on  the  coped  leads  when 
the  weather  was  hot,  draw  up  cosily  to  a  fireplace 
shaped  something  like  a  Queen  Anne  teapot  when 
it  was  cold,  and  the  ceiling,  truncated  along  one  side, 
didn't  begin  to  turn  red  and  green  the  moment  the 
twilight  came. 

It  gives  me  a  shiver  to  think  how  atrociously  poor 
I  was  in  those  days.  More  and  more  of  that  too 
comes  back  with  the  half -forgotten  shorthand.  I 
don't  mean  that  I've  ever  forgotten  that  I  used 
to  be  poor;  it's  the  depth  and  degradation  I  mean 
and  that- — this  will  seem  odd  to  you  presently,  as 
it  seems  suddenly  odd  to  me  as  I  write  it — that 
memory  is  still  more  horrible  to  me  than  anything 
else  I  have  ever  known.  My  having  got  rich  since 
doesn't  wipe  it  out.  If  I  were  to  become  as  rich 
as  Rockefeller  I  should  never  forget  the  rages  of 
envy,  black  and  deep  and  bitter,  that  used  some- 


14     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

times  to  take  me  when  I  thought  of  Archie  Merri- 
dew's  circumstances  and  my  own. 

I  have  got  riches  as  I  have  got  everything  else 
— everything — I  ever  wanted,  by  attention  to  detail. 
You'll  probably  agree  with  me  by-and-by  that  by 
"  attention  to  detail "  I  mean  rather  more  than  most 
men  do  when  they  give  this  advice  to  young  men 
about  to  start  in  life.  I  remember  they  used  to 
give  us,  as  it  were,  the  empty  form  and  shell  of  this 
maxim  at  the  Business  College,  the  place  in  Holborn 
Archie  and  I  attended;  but  you've  got  to  have  been 
down  into  the  pit  and  come  back  again  before  you 
realise  the  terrible  force  there  is  in  these  truisms. 
And  no  less  in  doing  things  than  undoing  them  after- 
wards (when  that  has  been  necessary)  have  I 
planned  to  the  very  last  minutice.  If  I  have  never 
seemed  a  particularly  busy  man,  that  has  been  be- 
cause I  have  always  disliked  being  seen  in  the  act 
of  doing  a  thing.  And  where  I  have  passed  my  trail 
is  obliterated. 

Archie  Merridew  and  I  were  only  half  contem- 
poraries. He  was  younger  than  I  by  a  good  seven 
years — was,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  only  twenty-three 
when  he  died.  And  in  nearly  everything  else  we 
were  as  sharply  contrasted  as  we  were  in  our  for- 
tunes. Indeed,  we  were  much  more  so,  for  while 
I  miserably  coveted  that  thirty-eight  pound  upper 
floor  of  his  near  the  Foundling  Hospital,  my  faith 


HOLBORN  15 

in  myself  and  my  ambition  would  have  helped  me 
over  that.  Physically,  we  were  as  different  as  we 
could  be.  My  almost  gigantic  size  made  me,  in  my 
cramped  red  and  green  lighted  apartment,  an 
enormously  overgrown  squirrel  in  the  smallest  of 
cages;  but  to  Archie's  rather  dandified  little  dap- 
perness  his  series  of  roof  chambers  was  spacious  as 
a  palace.  Mentally  we  diverged  even  more.  I  was 
taciturn,  he  lively  as  one  of  the  crickets  that  used 
to  chirp  behind  his  little  Queen  Anne  teapot  of  a 
fireplace.  And  as  for  luck — well,  if  luck  ever  so 
much  as  nodded  to  me  in  those  days,  it  seemed  to 
change  its  mind  and  to  pass  by  on  the  other  side, 
while  he  seemed  to  pull  things  off  the  more  easily 
the  more  recklessly  he  blundered. 

And  he  had  his  people  at  Guildford,  while  I  had 
never  a  soul  in  the  world. 

I  don't  know  how  we  contrived  to  hit  it  off  aa 
well  as,  on  the  whole,  we  did.  Perhaps  that  too  was 
part  of  his  lucky  disposition — he  could  get  along 
even  with  me.  He  always  spread  some  sort  of  a 
weak  charm  about  him,  and  this  charm  always  dis- 
armed me  even,  when  to  all  intents  and  purposes 
he  was  merely  rubbing  in  my  horrible  poverty.  He 
would  tell  me,  as  if  I  wasn't  already  eating  my 
heart  out  about  it>  that  it  was  about  time  I  made 
an  effort — that  he  wasn't  going  to  remain  in  those 
stuffy  diggings  of  his  all  his  days — and  that  if  he 


16     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

had  only  half  my  brains  he'd  be  up  somewhere 
pretty  high  in  a  very  short  time  (as  he  probably 
would  had  he  lived) — all  this,  you  understand,  for 
my  good,  the  cigarette  gummed  to  his  prettily  shaped 
upper  lip  wagging  as  he  talked,  and  with  the  best 
intentions  in  the  world.  He  was  quite  devoted  to 
me;  would  tell  me  how  he  had  told  other  people 
about  those  extraordinary  brains  of  mine;  and  he 
never  dreamed  (though  it  was  not  long  before  I 
began  to)  that  our  respective  ages  were  even  then 
making  of  our  companionship  a  hopeless  thing.  A 
lad  of  seventeen  may  attach  himself  for  a  time  to 
a  man  whose  years  number  twenty-four  of  bitter- 
ness and  exclusion,  but  they  will  part  company  again 
before  the  one  is  twenty-three  and  the  other  thirty. 
I  was  only  an  evening  student  at  the  Business 
College,  while  Archie  spent  his  days  there.  Often 
enough  he  did  not  turn  up  in  the  evening  at  all; 
indeed,  he  only  began  to  do  so  with  unfailing  regu- 
larity some  time  after  Evie  Soames  had  put  her 
name  down  for  the  social  evening  course  of  lectures 
on  Business  Method.  Evie  Soames  was  a  day  stu- 
dent too,  though  only  on  three  days  in  the  week, 
Mondays,  Wednesdays,  and  Fridays;  and  the  lec- 
tures on  Method  were  given  in  the  evening  because 
they  were  specially  addressed  to  those  who,  like 
myself,  were  employed  during  the  day,  and  deemed  to 
be  ripe  for  the  more  advanced  instruction.  I  don't 


HOLBORN  17 

think  Archie  was  very  much  wiser  for  Western's 
(our  lecturer)  efforts,  but  he  was  genuinely  grate- 
ful to  me  for  my  explanations  of  them  afterwards, 
and  would  pat  me  on  the  shoulder  affectionately, 
and  tell  me  he  couldn't  understand  why  everybody 
else  didn't  see  what  a  rare  good  sort  I  was.  That 
was  his  backhanded  idea  of  a  compliment. 

I  think,  in  those  early  days  of  mine,  I  hated 
pretty  well  everything  and  everybody;  and  I  cannot 
better  show  you  how  little  I  found  to  love  than  by 
giving  you,  before  I  go  on  with  my  tale,  an  account 
of  my  day  at  that  period  of  my  life — any  day  taken 
at  random  will  do. 

I  had  to  be  at  Eixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  by  nine, 
why,  I  don't  know,  since  nobody  else  of  any  ac- 
count whatever  turned  up  much  before  half-past  ten. 
But  eight  of  us  had  to  be  there  by  nine  o'clock,  and 
I  will  tell  you  how  our  eight  had  been  got  together. 

You  know — or  don't  you  know? — that  there  are 
firms  that  contract  for  the  supply  of  "  office  labour  " 
of  all  grades,  from  the  messenger  boy  to  the  be- 
ginning of  the  confidential  clerks;  holusbolus,  in 
the  lump,  as  much  of  it  or  as  little  as  you  please. 
You  pay,  if  you  are  an  employer,  a  certain  number 
of  hundreds  a  year,  and  the  agency  does  the  rest. 
One  down,  t'other  up;  sack  one  man,  and  telephone 
for  another.  The  agency's  supply,  at  the  maximum 
of  a  pound  a  week,  is  practically  unlimited,  and  the 


18     IN  ACCOEDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

firm  escapes  all  personal  responsibility  in  regard  to 
its  staff. 

I  was  one  of  these  consignments  of  labour — or 
rather  an  eighth  of  one.  I  don't  know  now  what  I 
did.  I  know  that  I  addressed  envelopes  and  checked 
columns  of  figures  and  lists  of  names,  quite  devoid 
of  meaning  to  me,  and  got  eighteen  shillings  a  week 
for  it.  There  was  no  chance  that  I  should  ever  get 
more  than  eighteen  shillings.  Ask  for  nineteen  and 
the  telephone  rang,  the  agency  was  informed  of  your 
request,  and  .  .  .  well,  three  times  I  had  seen 
that  happen. 

One  chance  of  escape,  indeed,  we  had;  the  firm 
was  clever  enough  to  allow  us  that.  It  was  by  way 
of  what  I  may  call  the  permanent  junior  clerkship. 
The  permanent  junior  clerk  was,  as  it  were,  breveted 
with  the  rank  of  the  real  clerks  in  the  inner  office; 
and  so  was  hope  dangled  over  the  heads  of  eight 
of  us.  There  was  the  junior  clerkship  amongst  the 
eight  of  us.  That  or  nothing. 

I  need  hardly  say  that  jealousy,  espionage,  and 
scheming  besmirched  our  souls. 

Well  (to  continue  my  account  of  my  day),  I  ad- 
dressed envelopes  or  read  aloud  from  interminable 
lists  until  one  o'clock,  and  then  I  lunched.  This 
we  were  not  allowed  to  do  in  the  office,  so  that 
usually  I  ate  from  a  paper  bag  in  one  of  the  quieter 
streets,  or  else  had  a  scone  and  milk  at  an  A.B.C. 


HOLBORN  19 

shop  round  the  corner  in  Cheapside.  I  was  alone. 
My  fellow-stuff  from  the  agency,  always  on  the  look- 
out for  a  pretext  of  mistrust,  found  one  in  my  (I 
admit)  uncommon  face.  I  put  in  the  time  until 
two,  when  I  was  not  smothering  up  annoyance  at 
those  who  would  turn  round  to  stare  at  a  man  who 
had  been  made  half  a  head  taller  than  the  rest  of  the 
world,  in  wondering  whether  those  about  me  were  as 
rich  or  worse  off  than  I,  and  whether  they  were  able 
to  procure  a  bath  as  cheaply  and  easily;  and  then  I 
returned  to  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  again.  At  six- 
thirty  I  proceeded  home,  washed,  and  went  out  to 
dinner.  I  dined  at  one  of  the  establishments  near 
the  corner  of  Pentonville  Road ;  you  have  seen  them, 
there  is  an  arrangement  of  gas-jets  behind  a  steamy 
window,  and,  in  galvanised  iron  trays,  sausages  and 
onions  and  saveloys  fry.  The  proprietor  of  the 
"  pull-up "  fetched  my  dinner  out  of  the  window 
on  the  prongs  of  a  toasting  fork,  and  I  ate  it  in  a 
small  matchboard  compartment,  or,  when  these 
cabinets  particuliers  happened  to  be  all  pre-occupied, 
at  an  oilcloth-covered  table  that  ran  down  the  mid- 
dle of  the  shop.  During  and  after  my  meal  I  read 
the  whole  of  The  Echo  —  I  was  allowed  as  a  habitue 
to  retain  my  seat  longer  than  the  casual  diner.  But 
on  the  nights  on  which  I  took  a  bath  (did  I  say  I 
sponged  on  Archie  Merridew  for  this  convenience, 
carrying  my  clean  shirt  in  a  paper  that  also  served 


20     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

for  the  wrapping-up  of  the  one  I  had  removed?), 
I  added  to  my  obligation  by  supping  with  him  also, 
and  then  we  walked  on  to  the  Business  College  to- 
gether. My  clothes  I  bought  in  Lamb's  Conduit 
Street,  my  boots  in  Red  Lion  Passage.  I  had  al- 
ways the  greatest  difficulty  in  getting  a  fit  in  either. 
At  one  time  I  had  the  misfortune  to  make  myself 
very  unpopular  among  the  proprietors  of  a  row  of 
barrows  not  far  from  Southampton  Row.  This  was 
over  the  purchase  of  a  collar,  and  the  cub  under  the 
naphtha  lamp  had  made  some  joke  or  other  about 
the  uncommon  size  I  required,  saying  that  the  horse 
collars  were  to  be  had  in  St  Martin's  Lane.  The 
blow  under  the  ear  I  gave  him  was  heavier  than  I 
intended;  I  am  afraid  I  broke  his  jaw,  and  I 
avoided  the  street  for  a  long  time. 

After  the  class,  I  either  continued  my  studies, 
as  I  have  said,  with  young  Merridew,  or  else  took 
a  walk.  In  this  again  I  was  always  alone.  I  went 
far  afield.  If  I  went  west,  I  usually  turned  along 
Great  Russell  and  Guildford  Streets,  but  the  moths, 
English  and  foreign,  of  the  half  light  of  this  last 
thoroughfare  caused  me  at  one  time  to  take  the  way 
of  Holborn  and  Gray's  Inn  Road.  The  nickname 
they  gave  me,  they  also  gave,  I  don't  doubt,  to  fifty 
men  besides  myself,  bnt  it  seemed  somehow  to  at- 
tach itself  more  conspicuously  to  me  because  of  my 
general  conspicuousness.  It  was  that  of  the  mys- 


HOLBORN  21 

terious  and  ubiquitous  author  of  a  series  of  un- 
elucidated  crimes  as  to  the  nature  of  which  I  need 
not  be  specific. 

Then,  when  I  had  walked  my  fill,  I  returned  to 
my  cage  opposite  the  red  and  green  electric  adver- 
tisement. 

This  is  a  fair  sample  of  my  days  at  that  time. 


II 


THERE  is  a  showy  boot  shop  now  where  the 
Business  College  used  to  be;  the  new  place 
is  in  Kingsway.  There,  in  Kingsway,  I  am  told 
they  have  methods  and  appliances  undreamed  of  in 
my  time — mechanical  calculators,  wonderful  filing 
systems,  elaborate  duplicators,  and  lectures  on  Com- 
mercial and  Political  Economy  and  Mercantile  Law 
— but  the  old  Holborn  curriculum  included  short- 
hand, typewriting,  book-keeping,  and  lectures  on 
method  and  not  very  much  besides.  When  I  left, 
I  remember,  they  were  just  beginning,  as  a  high 
novelty,  advertisement-writing.  Later,  I  myself 
took  this  class,  though  only  for  a  few  weeks. 

Even  then,  I  think,  the  Holborn  place  was  con- 
demned to  come  down.  A  second-hand  book  shop 
occupied  the  ground  floor;  and  above  the  book  shop 
window  three  columns,  each  of  three  bow  windows, 
one  for  each  floor,  formed  the  frontage.  The  three 
bow  windows  of  the  top  floor  were  ours.  Inside, 
the  place  was  small  and  inconvenient  in  the  ex- 
treme. It  had  been  a  dwelling-house  once,  and  the 
old  fixtures  still  remained — dark  cauliflower  wall- 
papers, heavy  ornamental  gas-brackets,  and  little 

22 


HOLBORN  23 

porcelain  fittings  by  the  fireplaces  that  still  rang, 
in  the  second  of  the  two  rooms  that  had  been 
knocked  into  one  to  form  a  lecture-room,  a  row  of 
bells  that  resembled  a  series  of  interrogation  marks. 

Only  four  women  attended  the  classes.  The 
business  woman  was,  comparatively  speaking,  a 
rarity  then,  nor  can  I  quite  make  up  my  mind  as 
to  how  much  things  have  changed  in  this  respect 
and  how  much  they  remain  exactly  as  they  were. 
They  have  certainly  changed  if  it  is  all  on  account 
of  her  certificate  that  a  young  woman  can  now  walk 
into  an  office  and  be  promptly  asked  at  what  hour 
it  will  be  convenient  for  her  to  begin  her  duties  on 
the  morrow;  and,  lacking  certificates,  three  of  our 
four  students  could  hardly  have  fallen  back  on  any 
natural  diploma  of  personal  charms.  I  mean,  in  a 
word,  that  Miss  Windus,  Miss  Causton  and  Miss 
Levey  were,  to  say  the  least,  not  remarkably  pretty, 
though  Miss  Causton  was  beautiful  as  far  as  her 
figure  and  movements  went. 

But  Evie  Soames  was  very  different.  She  was, 
in  actual  years,  twenty ;  but  she  seemed  still  to  stand 
among  the  debris  of  her  teens  as  an  opening  tree 
stands  over  its  sprinkling  of  delicate  fallen  sheaths 
in  the  spring.  Both  graces  and  awkwardnesses  of 
an  earlier  time  still  clung,  as  it  were,  to  her  stem. 
She  had,  as  I  later  learned,  been  at  one  school  until 
she  was  seventeen,  at  a  second  school  until  she  was 


24     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

nineteen,  and  now,  after  a  year  of  indetermination 
and  arrested  development  at  home,  was  still  further 
delaying  her  maturity  by  beginning  again  not  very 
differently  from  the  way  in  which  she  had  begun 
at  fourteen.  She  had,  of  course,  picked  up  a  num- 
ber of  unimportant  acquirements  by  the  way,  but 
had  never,  in  those  days  when  I  first  knew  her, 
given  it  a  thought  that  Evie  Soames  was  a  person 
Evie  Soames  might  well  have  some  natural  curiosity 
about  She  moved,  neither  woman  nor  schoolgirl, 
among  the  charts  and  files  and  dusty  ledgers  of  the 
Business  College,  slender,  dark,  necked  like  a  birch, 
and  with  eyes  than  which,  when  she  looked  suddenly 
round,  the  flash  of  a  negro's  teeth  was  not  whiter. 

I  have  told  you  how  my  days  were  passed,  but 
not  yet  said  anything  about  my  dreams.  As  I  can- 
not speak  of  Evie  Soames  apart  from  these  I  will  do 
so  as  briefly  as  I  can. 

Whatever  else  in  my  life  I  may  have  been,  I  have 
not,  even  in  my  dreams,  been  a  sensualist.  It 
might  in  some  respects  have  been  better  for  me  if 
I  had.  But  so  far  was  I  from  that  that  I  have  even 
been  charged  (though  the  charge  is  really  as  wide  of 
the  mark  as  it  could  well  be)  with  a  certain  in- 
humanity; by  which  I  mean,  not  cruelty,  but — how 
shall  I  express  it  ? — a  certain  inaccessibility  to  the 
ordinary  human  relation.  And  I  do  not  believe  the 
;woman  lives  who,  given  her  choice  of  these  two  in- 


HOLBORN  25 

terpretations  of  the  word,  would  not  prefer  the 
former.  Only  in  the  latter  does  she  foresee  her 
final  defeat. 

Therefore,  when  at  midday  in  Cheapside,  or  in 
Guildford  Street  as  I  returned  from  my  lonely 
rambles,  or  in  Holborn  or  Oxford  Street  at  the  hour 
when  shops  and  offices  turned  out  their  human  con- 
tents, male  and  female,  after  the  day's  work,  I 
watched  the  pattering  feet  on  the  pavements,  I  was 
not  stirred  as  the  fleshly  stockbrocker  or  conscience- 
less "blood"  is  stirred.  (You  must  allow  me  this 
generalisation;  you  know  what  I  mean.)  My  eyes 
did  not  meet  other  eyes  as  seeking  acquaintance.  I 
never,  in  train  or  tram  or  'bus,  set  off  my  vacation 
of  my  seat  for  a  woman  against  the  bow  or  thanks 
I  might  receive.  I  never,  even  at  my  loneliest,  held 
a  waitress  or  attendant  in  talk  for  any  satisfaction 
I  had  in  her  nearness.  Whatever  I  have  learned 
from  crowds,  crowds  have  had  nothing  of  mine. 
"Nor,  my  heavy  and  immobile  appearance  notwith- 
standing, was  I  (I  affirm  this)  a  solitary  because  I 
was  refused  acquaintanceship.  I  was  a  solitary  be- 
cause I  refused  it. 

But  what  I  refused  in  the  streets  by  day,  I  could 
not  sleep  for  seeking  when  I  lay  down  at  night. 
What  I  sought  I  did  not  and  do  not  know;  I  was 
only  conscious  of  a  hunger  within  myself  that,  not 
being  satisfiable  by  the  eye-profferings  and  other 


26     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

partial  prettinesses  of  the  crowd,  were  never  offered 
that  sustenance.  I  have  heard  this  hunger  de- 
scribed as  a  Divine  Discontent,  but  that  is  to  beg 
a  question  of  some  magnitude.  It  might  be  a  very 
different  thing  from  that.  It  might  just  conceiv- 
ably be  an  Infernal  Discontent.  Or  it  might,  in  the 
case  of  a  man  who  regarded  neither  God  nor  devil — 
But  I  wander.  This,  I  say,  was  my  dream,  and 
I  shared  it  with  no  sensualist. 

Of  course  you  have  already  guessed  why  I  say 
all  this  .  .  .  guessed  what  happened.  Be- 
tween the  commonnesses  under  the  street  lamps 
which  I  spurned,  and  those  dreams  that  were  ever 
unseizably  beyond  my  most  ardent  reaching  forth, 
I  fell  in  love  with  Evie  Soames. 

There  are,  I  know,  men  in  whom  a  grim  and  un- 
compromising aspect  is  so  richly  compensated  for  by 
other  gifts  that,  like  John  Wilkes,  they  may  fairly 
brag  that  with  fifteen  minutes'  start  they  would  out- 
distance in  a  woman's  favours  the  most  regular- 
featured  buck  in  London.  Therefore  (if  I  may 
use  a  "  therefore "  without  egregiousness)  it 
troubled  me  little  that  Miss  Windus,  not  to  speak 
of  her  two  companions,  Miss  Causton  and  Miss 
Levey,  found  me  unattractive.  In  that  coin  I  could 
have  repaid  her,  had  I  wished,  with  interest.  Since 
I  did  not  wish,  my  attitude  was  one  of  fully-armed 


HOLBORN  27 

reserve.  All  three  of  these  women  seemed  to  me 
to  be  for  ever  proclaiming,  if  not  in  words,  yet  in 
everything  but  words,  that  men,  as  men,  have  worldly 
opportunities  given  them  by  a  sort  of  favouritism, 
and  as  a  kind  of  present  for  their  circumspection  in 
getting  themselves  born  men — as  if  in  this  world 
either  men  or  women  ever  got  anything  they  were 
not  quick  enough  or  strong  enough  or  callous  enough 
to  seize  for  themselves.  Miss  Windus  in  especial, 
a  sharp-featured  woman  of  twenty-eight,  with  aper- 
tures like  little  scalene  triangles  out  of  which  her 
eyes  peered  with  an  expression  quizzical  and  weak 
and  yet  perky  and  self-confident  at  the  same  time 
(as  if  she  was  saying  perpetually  to  herself,  "  We 
may  as  well  hear  what  this  one  has  to  say  for  him- 
self!  ")  struck  me  as  being  the  final  word  in  self- 
importance  and  inefficiency. 

The  top-heavy  little  Jewess,  Miss  Levey,  was  a 
very  broker  for  gossip  and  tattle,  and  the  remarks 
she  occasionally  made  about  others  to  me  were  quite 
enough  to  warn  me  that  she  would  make  equally 
free  with  myself  to  others.  Both  she  and  Miss 
IWindus  seemed  to  shout  aloud  the  very  sex-differ- 
ence the  existence  of  which  they  seemed  at  the  same 
time  to  be  denying.  They  "  could  not  think  of  giv- 
ing trouble"  when  one  or  other  of  the  forty  men 
placed  a  chair  or  adjusted  a  light  or  carried  a  Rem- 
ington for  them  5  but  they  would  have  known  how 


28     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

to  show  their  sense  of  the  absence  of  such  attentions 
all  the  same. 

I  do  not  know  that  Miss  Causton  pleased  me  very 
much  more,  but  she  at  any  rate  moved  with  a  won- 
derful physical  harmonious  grace  and  flow.  If  one 
might  judge  from  her  hands  and  wrists  (a  business 
certificate  on  which  she  ever  bestowed  the  most 
sedulous  care)  she  did  not  come  from  quite  the  same 
social  level  as  the  other  two — was,  perhaps,  the 
daughter  of  a  doctor  who  had  married  his  house-  . 
keeper,  or  of  a  decent  governess  whose  decency  had 
not  prevented  her  from  running  off  with  a  groom; 
but  I  made  no  attempt  to  unravel  either  this  riddle 
or  any  other  that  her  rather  contemptuous  grey  eyes 
might  contain.  The  attitudes  she  took  in  reaching 
down  a  book  from  a  shelf  or  passing  her  arm  about 
the  waist  of  one  of  the  other  girls  when  they  as- 
sembled for  gossip  were  all  I  wanted  of  her,  and 
those  began  and  remained  a  purely  aesthetic  satis- 
faction. 

Therefore  there  could  hardly  have  been  a  more 
complete  contrast  than  there  was  between  these  ap- 
parently a-sexual  yet  in  reality  excessively  sex-con- 
ecious  women  and  my  delicate  unawakened  Evie 
Soames.  She  made  no  more  difficulty  about  giving 
me  a  "  Good-evening,"  or  "  Good-night "  than  she 
did  with  the  rest  of  the  world;  and  though  for  a 
long  time  our  speech  stopped  at  that,  it  was  yet  as 


HOLBORN  29 

much  as  I  had  with  any  other  woman  whomsoever. 
That  I  should  get  even  thus  much  of  what  every- 
body else  in  the  world  seemed  to  get  as  a  matter  of 
course  came  so  gently  and  softly  over  me  that  I  did 
not  dream  of  a  worse  misery  that  might  lurk  hidden 
within  it,  and  in  those  early  days  of  my  love  a 
mother  would  not  have  fought  more  wildly  for  her 
babe  than  I  would  have  turned  on  any  who  had 
offered  to  come  between  me  and  even  this  sparse 
sweetness  that  had  come  for  the  first  time  into  my 
life. 


Ill 


lHE  events  I  am  now  about  to  relate  occurred 
during  those  early  days,  while  I  was  still  con- 
tent to  possess  my  dreams,  as  if  as  long  as  I  closed 
my  eyes  the  world  would  stand  still  about  me. 

One  November  night,  as  the  series  of  lectures  on 
Method  was  drawing  to  a  close,  I  returned  with 
Archie  Merridew  to  his  rooms,  silent,  but  exceed- 
ingly happy.  The  cause  of  my  happiness  will  not 
greatly  excite  you,  it  had  been  no  more  than  Evie's 
"  Good-night,  Mr  Jeffries,"  given  me  as  I  had 
waited  on  the  stairs  of  the  college  for  young  Merri- 
dew, who  had  lingered  behind  to  ask  Weston  some- 
thing or  other. 

I  had  heard  them  coming  down  from  the  landing 
above,  and,  looking  up,  had  seen  the  trail  of  Miss 
Causton's  long  grey  coat  and  Miss  Windus's  blue 
and  green  plaid  skirt  and  her  gloved  hand  on  the 
shaky  old  rail.  I  ought  to  say  that  the  western- 
most of  the  three  pillars  of  bow  windows  I  have 
mentioned  as  forming  the  Holborn  frontage  of  the 
college  was  the  one  that  lighted  the  various  floors 
of  the  staircase,  and  if  parties  had  ever  been  given 

in  that  old  house  before  it  had  got  quite  so  old,  it 

30 


HOLBORN  31 

is  odds  that  the  embrasure  in  which  I  had  just  then 
been  standing,  that  of  the  first  floor,  had  held  a 
few  palms  in  pots  and  a  couple  of  figures  on  its  low 
window-seat  many  a  time.  But  that  night  it  had 
only  held  myself,  waiting  in  the  shadow  shaped  like 
a  coffin-shoulder  that  the  globeless  gas  of  the  land- 
ing cast. 

I  had  heard  Miss  Windus's  little  smothered  ex- 
clamation. "Oh!  .  .  .  That  man!"  but  in- 
stantly she  had  gone  on  talking  in  a  higher  voice. 
Certainly  she  had  had  reasonable  colour  for  the 
presence  that  she  had  not  seen  me — had  I  not  hap- 
pened to  hear  her  exclamation. 

And  if  I  had  heard  it,  so,  of  course,  had  Evie. 

"  Good-night,  Mr  Jeffries,"  Evie  had  said  as  she 
had  passed  me,  and  Miss  Windus  also,  as  if  sud- 
denly discovering  me,  had  given  me  quite  a  bright 
"  Good-night ! "  Miss  Causton  also  had  given  me  a 
languid,  almost  insolent  smile. 

I  was  happy.  I  should  probably  have  taken  my- 
self and  my  happiness  off  somewhere  had  it  not  been 
that  that  evening  I  had  made  use  of  Archie's  bath, 
and  had  left  in  his  place,  besides  that  paper  parcel 
I  have  mentioned,  a  notebook  of  which  I  had  need. 
So  I  had  returned  with  Archie,  and,  not  intending 
to  stay,  had  yet  sat  down,  overcoated  as  I  was,  be- 
fore his  fire. 

"  Better  take  your  coat  off  for  a  bit,"  Archie  said. 


32     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  I'd  like  a  squint  at  your  notes  too,  if  you're  not 
in  a  hurry." 

The  notes  were  part  of  our  preparation  for  the 
examination  in  Method  which  was  to  be  held  shortly 
before  Christmas.  I  threw  apart,  but  still  did  not 
remove  my  coat,  and  Archie  took  up  my  notebook 
and  read  as  he  stood.  Presently,  feeling  for  a  chair 
with  his  foot,  he  sat  down,  still  reading  the  notes. 

He  looked  up  from  time  to  time,  but  the  ques- 
tions he  put  barely  interrupted  my  reverie.  I 
stared  at  the  fire  in  the  pretty  old-fashioned  grate. 
He  had  no  gas  up  there;  his  cardboard  lamp-shade, 
green  outside  and  a  little  heat-browned  inside,  stood 
on  a  chenille-clothed  table;  and  he  had  given  the 
shade  a  tilt  for  his  convenience  in  reading.  Thus 
the  fireplace  end  of  the  room  lay  in  a  sort  of  irregu- 
Rar  parabola  of  illumination.  There  were  bright 
circles  on  the  ceiling  above  the  chimney  of  the  lamp ; 
then  came  spaces  of  cosy  gloom;  and  below,  in  the 
pleasant  light,  were  his  arm-chairs,  his  small  book- 
shelf, and,  the  rail  of  it  catching  the  firelight,  his 
high  perforated  brass  fender.  In  the  middle  of  a 
great  cam  of  light  that  lay  over  the  dimity-papered 
wall  between  his  sitting  and  bed  rooms,  his  dress- 
ing-gown, hanging  from  a  hook  in  the  bedroom  door, 
made  a  grotesquely  human-shaped  shadow. 

By-and-by,  with  the  book  on  his  knee  and  his  eyes 
still  fixed  on  it,  Archie  began  mechanically  to  un- 


HOLBORN  33 

lace  his  boots.  I  looked  up  as  he  reached  for  his 
slippers,  and  then  resumed  my  reverie. 

I  was  glad  that  Kitty  Windus,  whether  she 
realised  it  or  not,  had  been  made  the  subject  of  an 
innocently  awkward  little  snub.  I  couldn't  stand 
the  woman.  I  couldn't  stand  it  that,  ignoring  my 
existence  when  she  could,  she  spoke  to  me,  when 
she  did  speak,  with  a  false  vivacity  that  only  en- 
hanced the  effect  of  her  passing  over  at  other  times. 
And  lest  you  should  think  I  was  wasting  my  detesta- 
tion on  a  rather  insignificant  object,  I  must  ask  you 
again  to  remember  what  my  days  were.  The  whole 
Scheme  of  Things  seemed  to  be  against  me ;  but  there 
is  not  much  relief  to  be  had  from  taking  a  blind 
fling  at  the  Scheme  of  Things.  A  man  with  a 
grudge  against  the  world  will  be  very  likely  in- 
deed to  take  that  grudge  out  of  the  nearest  person. 
I  was  not  prosperous  enough  to  have  much  time  to 
waste  on  human  charities.  So,  in  my  resentful 
hours,  T  took  it  mercilessly  out  of  one  against  whom, 
in  my  calmer  moments,  I  had  no  grudge  except  that 
she  was  not  a  thousand  miles  away.  And  if  she  had 
been  a  thousand  miles  away,  I  should  have  vented 
my  bitterness  on  somebody  else.  I  had  to  get  rid 
of  it  somehow. 

But  if  my  thoughts  gave  Miss  Windus  more  of 
this  than  she  fairly  deserved,  perhaps  Evie  Soames 
got  more  in  another  sort  than  she  deserved  either. 


34     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

There  was  not  one  of  the  few  stray  graces  and  sweet- 
nesses I  had  ever  known  that  did  not  accrete  to  and 
abide  about  the  thought  of  her.  No  generous  emo- 
tion, no  human  impulse  I  had  ever  experienced,  but 
came  with  adoration  and  rich  gifts  with  which  to  ex- 
/  alt  her.  In  my  heart  I  lighted  tapers  about  her 
image.  I  did  not  ask  myself  whether  she  had  sup- 
planted my  dreams,  existed  side  by  side  with  them, 
or  was  indeed  my  dreaming  made  truth.  I  did  not 
wonder  what  she  might  have  been  in  another  man's 
dreaming,  nor  whether,  apart  from  the  dreaming  of 
some  man,  she  existed  spiritually  at  all.  I  only  knew 
that  the  fire  inside  Archie  Merridew's  fender  was 
not  warmer  than  that  central  warmth  that  seemed 
to  steal  (as  if  there  also  some  bud-sheath  had 
yielded)  about  my  heart  as  I  pictured  again  her  sap- 
ling-straight figure,  the  flash  of  her  turning  eyes  on 
the  landing,  and  the  tone  in  which  she  had  bidden 
,  me  good-night  three  quarters  of  an  hour  before.  I 
leaned  back  as  it  were  in  some  longed-for  luxu- 
rious resting-place  of  the  heart.  I  do  not  know  the 
origin  of  the  tears  that  gathered  in  my  eyes. 

Suddenly  Archie  threw  the  book  on  to  the  table 
and  stretched  himself.  He  gave  a  yawn  and  put  his 
feet  on  the  fender. 

"  Oh,  I'm  sick  of  work  for  to-day !  "  he  said. 
"  When  are  you  going  to  start  smoking  ? "  he  added 
as  he  drew  out  a  cigarette-case. 


HOLBORN  35 

I  answered  something  or  other — it  didn't  matter 
what,  since  my  lovely  moment  had  gone  with  the 
breaking  in  of  his  voice. 

"Oh,  well!  .  .  ."  he  laughed,  lighting  up. 
Then,  glancing  at  the  blowing  end  before  throw- 
ing his  match  into  the  fender,  he  said:  "I  say — 
what  a  jolly  sort  of  girl  that  Miss  Soames  seems 
to  be!" 

As  the  cold  of  a  spring  night  freezes  the  newly 
mounting  sap  of  a  tree,  so  I  felt  some  sweet  and 
vigorous  change  suddenly  arrested  in  my  heart. 

"  Wh-who  ?  "  I  said.  I  had  to  make  two  attempts 
at  it. 

He  laughed. 

"  Oh,  of  course — I  forgot,  girls  don't  interest  you. 
Like  your  not  smoking,  I  suppose.  Hadn't  noticed 
there  were  any  girls  at  the  college — only  see  text- 
books and  Remingtons.  .  .  .  Well,  not  to 
spring  it  on  you  too  suddenly,  there  are  four  girls 
there,  three  of  7em  rather  sticks,  but  the  fourth  a 
ripper.  What  a  rum  chap  you  are ! "  he  concluded 
with  another  laugh. 

He  had  drawn  his  chair  still  closer  to  the  fire,  and 
now  sat  with  his  feet,  not  on  the  fender,  but  half- 
way up  one  of  the  pilasters  that  supported  the  chim- 
neypiece.  As  he  kicked  off  one  slipper  and  began 
to  warm  one  small  foot  on  the  iron-work  just  in- 
side the  pilaster,  his  profile  was  turned  to  me;  but 


36     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

I  didn't  at  first  risk  stealing  a  look  at  it  for  fear  of 
meeting  his  eyes.  Stealthily,  however,  and  moving 
my  head  as  little  as  possible,  I  did  so.  It  was  a 
pretty  profile — f  air  curly  hair  thick  on  the  crown,  his 
head  rather  high  at  the  back  and  of  a  long  shape 
to  the  chin,  good  nose,  pleasantly  curved  mouth — the 
head  of  a  decent  enough  but  quite  unremarkable 
youngster  of  twenty-two.  He  was  neatly  dressed  in 
a  grey  stripe,  and  wore  a  black-bound  red  waist- 
coat with  brass  buttons.  I  say  he  was  decent  enough, 
and  so  he  was :  I  knew  he  knew  the  taste  of  whis- 
key, but  don't  think  he  drank  it  very  often.  "  Good 
wholesome  beer,"  he  used  to  say  with  an  air  of  ex- 
perience, "  was  more  his  mark " ;  but  even  then  I 
think  the  experience  was  more  that  of  his  compan- 
ions than  his  own.  You  wouldn't  have  said  there 
was  much  harm  in  him,  and  he  would  probably  have 
to  spend  his  allowance  unwisely  once  or  twice  be- 
fore he  learned  to  spend  it  wisely. 

I  made  the  moving  of  my  chair  an  excuse  for  get- 
ting him  better  under  observation. 

"  Oh  yes,  awfully  jolly,"  he  repeated,  blowing  a 
plume  of  smoke  through  which  the  firelight  shone 
rustily.  "  Fun  ...  no  end  of  fun  .  .  . 
rather!  .  .  ." 

Then  he  smiled,  and  the  smile  came  and  went  and 
came  again  as  he  smoked. 

I  don't  know  why,  up  to  that  moment,  I  had  never 


HOLBORN  37 

thought  of  it — never  thought  of  how  it  might  already 
be  or  might  presently  become.  I  suppose  the  reason 
was  that  a  man  cannot  hold  the  commerce  I  held 
with  dreams  without  to  some  extent  losing  his  touch 
of  actuality.  But  now,  at  last,  I  was  awake 
enough.  .  .  .  As  if  the  room  had  turned  colder 
I  pulled  my  coat  a  little  more  closely  about  me. 

It  was  not  then  that  that  heart  of  mine,  which 
I  have  likened  to  a  bud  suddenly  arrested  in  the 
moment  of  its  unfolding,  became  more  likenable  to 
a  grenade  with  its  fuse  waiting  exposed  for  the  spark 
that  should  bring  destruction.  .  .  . 

But  I  was  quite  calm.  For  the  matter  of  that, 
I  am  never  anything  else  when  it  comes  to  the  point. 
My  angers  have  served  their  purpose  when  they  have 
brought  me  to  the  point.  I  use  anger.  .  .  . 
Therefore,  though  I  knew  already  that  three  care- 
less words  of  his  had  opened  an  immeasurable  abyss 
between  us,  I  was  able  to  speak  to  him  without  a 
tremor,  from  my  chair  at  one  side  of  his  hearth 
to  him  in  his  own  at  the  other. 

"  You  mean  Miss What's  her  name  ?  " 

"  Soames,"  he  informed  me.  "  You  know — that 
young  girl — you  must  have  seen  her.  .  .  .  Yes, 
full  of  fun.  ...  I  laughed.  ...  I  did 
laugh!" 

From  the  way  in  which  he  still  laughed  there 
must  have  been  a  specific  occasion  for  his  mirth.  I 


38     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

knew  of  none  such.  I  wished  to  know,  however,  and 
I  also  wished  to  know  what  he  meant  by  "fun." 
Young  men  mean  so  many  things  by  "  fun,"  and 
it —  But  I  stifled  something  within  my  breast  almost 
before  it  was  born  there.  When  I  spoke,  my  voice  was 
as  steady  as  it  has  ever  been  in  my  life ;  but  the  devil, 
watching  a  soul  that  hesitates  on  the  point  of  sin, 
does  not  watch  more  closely  than  I  watched  that 
fair  boy  with  the  cigarette  dangling  from  his  upper 

HP. 

"  Ah,  yes,  I've  seen  her.  .  .  .  Pretty,  too/'  I 
hinted. 

But  he  put,  if  he  heard,  her  prettiness  aside.  He 
chuckled  again. 

"  I  went  last  Sunday  to  the  Zoo,  you  know,"  he 
said.  "  They  were  spending  the  week-end  in  town 
— my  folks.  And  I  saw  her  there.  Or  rather,  I 
didn't  see  her  at  first,  it  was  Mumsie  who  saw  her. 
'  I  think  there's  somebody  you  know,'  she  says  to  me, 
and  I  looked,  and  there  she  was,  bowing  to  me. 
Then  up  came  pater — he'd  dropped  behind  some- 
where— and  blest  if  he  didn't  know  her  aunt — she 
lives  with  her  aunt — they  have  rooms  in  Woburn 
Place.  So  we  all  went  round  together.  ...  I 
started  the  fun  by  saying  how  like  old  Weston  the 
secretary  bird  was;  so  we  went  round  looking  for 

likenesses — raked  up  everybody  we  knew "  He 

stopped,  suddenly. 


HOLBORN  39 

He  wouldn't,  had  lie  been  a  year  or  two  older, 
have  pulled  himself  up  quite  so  sharply.  It  is  true 
he  didn't  go  so  far  as  to  colour,  stammer,  or  bite 
his  lip;  but  his  meaning,  or  his  inadvertence,  or 
whatever  you  like  to  call  it,  could  hardly  have  been 
plainer  had  he  done  all  these  things.  An  anecdote 
was  related  to  me  not  so  very  long  ago  by  an  agent 
I  employ  to  advise  me  in  my  picture-buying.  It  was 
of  the  most  sardonic  of  our  caricaturists,  and  this 
merciless  artist  had  (so  the  story  ran)  refused  to 
caricature  a  certain  person,  giving  as  his  reason  that, 
while  a  vain  or  over-praised  or  too  consciously  hand- 
some face  was  fair  game  for  his  ironic  pencil,  a  face 
already  heavily  visited  by  nature  went  free.  But 
for  Archie  Merridew's  sudden  embarrassed  check  I 
might  have  imagined  that  my  own  visage  might  have 
gone  free  also.  It  is,  after  all,  not  repellent.  I 
bear  quite  a  strong  resemblance  to  at  least  one  pub- 
lic man  whose  photographs  appear  in  the  illustrated 
papers — a  distinguished  scientist.  My  stature  is 
the  most  striking  thing  about  me,  and  if  your  humour 
takes  that  turn  you  can  find  remote  suggestions  of 
any  number  of  people  at  the  Zoo. 

I  made,  however,  no  sign,  and  he,  judging  his 
clumsiness  to  have  passed  unnoticed,  went  on: 

"Funny  the  pater  knowing  her  aunt  like  that, 
wasn't  it?  Rather  fun  though.  Mumsie  said  she 
must  come  down  to  Guildford  for  a  few  days  and 


40     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

stay  with  us ;  if  she  does  I  shall  go  home  that  week- 
end— you  bet !  " 

My  answer  gave  me  no  pain.  It  came,  I  think, 
out  of  just  such  an  automatic  reflex  as  causes  an 
"  opening "  in  conversation  to  call  forth  its  own 
obvious  reply.  It  would  have  been  more  marked 
not  to  say  it  than  to  say  it,  and  as  I  am  telling  you,  in 
my  state  of  still  tension  it  didn't  hurt. 

"Oh!"  I  said.  "And  when  does  one  con- 
gratulate you?" 

"  What  d'you  mean  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Why,  on  your  engagement." 

Instantly  I  knew  I  had  said  the  right  thing. 
There  was  nothing  either  false  or  forced  about  the 
little  exclamation  he  made,  half  scoff,  half  laugh. 
His  face  was  clear  as  crystal.  By  "  fun  "  he  meant, 
simply,  mere  physiological  laughter,  the  bubbling-up 
of  the  high  spirits  of  his  years.  Human  resem- 
blances at  the  Zoo  are  quite  enough  to  call  up  this 
purely  functional  giggling.  She  was  "  fun "  (the 
odds  were  a  thousand  to  one)  as  his  sister  might  have 
been  fun;  with  a  certain  freshness  and  sense  of  dis- 
covery perhaps,  but  otherwise  not  very  differently. 
In  spite  of  the  sequel,  I  still  think  I  am  right  in 
making  this  statement. 

"  Don't  be  an  idiot !  "  he  said.  ..."  I  say, 
Jeff,  I  couldn't  quite  make  out  that  about  indexing 
and  cross-references  to-night.  Did  he  mean  that  the 


HOLBORN  41 

cross-references  are  a  sort  of  double  entry  for  when 
the  subjects  overlap,  or  what  ?  " 

But  there  was  still  something  I  wished  to  verify. 

"  Who  ? "  I  asked.     "  The— secretary  bird  2 " 

This  time  I  think  he  did  colour  faintly,  but  as  he 
had  swung  his  legs  down  from  the  fireplace  and  was 
reaching  for  my  notebook  again  I  could  not  be  quite 
sure. 

"  Pass  me  the  book,"  I  said. 

For  the  next  quarter  of  an  hour  I  gave  him  as 
collected  and  lucid  an  explanation  of  his  difficulties 
as  if  I  had  had  no  other  care  in  the  world.  Then 
I  lifted  myself  up.  I  buttoned  my  coat,  put  the 
notebook  into  my  pocket,  and  briefly  recapitulated 
what  I  had  told  him. 

"  Thanks,  awfully,"  he  said  gratefully,  when  I 
had  finished.  "You  are  a  brick.  You  ought  to 
give  the  lectures  instead  of  old  Weston.  I'm  sure 
if  I  pass  this  exam  it  will  be  all  you.  Must  you 
go?" 

"  Must." 

"  Well — so  long — I  think  I'll  make  a  few  notes 
myself  before  I  forget  again." 

And,  still  master  of  myself,  I  left  him  arranging 
papers  and  feeling  in  his  inkstand  for  a  pen. 


IV 


I  DO  not  know  but  what  I  might  still  have  re- 
tained control  of  myself  when  I  got  out  into 
the  street  again ;  I  do  not  know,  because  I  didn't  try. 
Instead,  no  sooner  had  I  got  away  from  him  than  I 
went  temporarily  all  to  pieces.  I  remember  I 
passed  up  Charlotte  Street  and  turned  into  Mecklen- 
burgh  Square;  and  there  I  leaned  against  the  rail- 
ings of  the  garden  that  occupies  the  middle  of  the 
Square.  I  stood  with  my  shoulder  against  them, 
looking  stupidly  down  at  my  feet.  There  was  a 
thin  and  melancholy  mist ;  the  lights  of  the  boarding- 
houses  and  nursing-homes  of  the  east  side  of  the 
Square  struggled  through  it  with  difficulty,  and 
presently  I  found  that  my  foot  was  playing  absently 
with  a  few  sodden  plane-tree  leaves  that  had  drifted 
against  the  kerb. 

Slowly,  as  I  stood  there,  my  stupidity  gave  place 
to  a  dull  anger.  I  don't  think  it  was  anger  against 
anybody  in  particular;  it  was  as  objectless  as  it 
was  useless  and  exhausting.  But  if  you  have  had 
that  gall  in  your  mouth  that  makes  all  the  world 
taste  bitter,  you  will  understand  my  miserable  rage. 
This  changed  presently  to  a  shivering,  weeping  rage 

42 


HOLBORN  43 

The  wide  portalled  door  of  a  house  opposite  opened, 
and  a  servant-girl  came  down  the  shallow  steps  to 
post  a  letter;  I  daresay  she  supposed  I  was  unwell 
or  a  drunkard ;  and  a  passer-by  might  have  concluded 
that  I  had  an  assignation  with  her,  or  had  just  had  a 
quarrel. 

Then,  when  I  had  had  a  little  ease  of  my  anger, 
I  pulled  myself  together  and  banished  it  again. 
!Now  that  I  had  come,  tardily  enough,  out  of  my 
fool's  paradise  of  the  past  weeks,  I  had  other  things 
than  purposeless  anger  to  think  of.  I  moved  away 
from  the  railings;  the  maid,  returning  from  the 
posting  of  her  letter,  quickened  her  steps  to  avoid 
me;  and  I  walked  slowly  northeastward  through  the 
Square. 

Quickly  I  became  calmer  still.  Soon  I  was  calm 
enough  to  recognise  that  I  needed  this.  "  What," 
I  said  ironically  to  myself,  thunder-struck  at  a  thing 
so  very  surprising!  Did  you  think  that  because 
your  head  was  in  the  clouds  .  .  .  come,  come, 
you'd  better  look  at  the  thing;  you  mayn't  have  any 
too  much  time,  you  know;  if  I  were  you  I'd  take  a 
walk  and  think  it  out." 

I  turned  into  Grays  Inn  Road,  and  began  to  take 
my  own  advice. 

While  I  had  no  reason  to  suppose  that  she  had 
fallen  in  love  with  him,  I  knew  almost  for  a  cer- 
tainty that  he  had  not  with  her.  He  was  not  at 


44     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

that  stage  yet  Already  he  was  nibbling  at  other 
pleasures,  and  with  a  youngster  of  his  kind  one  or 
two  nibbles  mean  three  or  four.  They  may  even 
mean  ten  or  twelve.  So  far  so  good.  I  was  still 
in  time.  I  was,  in  fact,  so  far  beforehand  that,  of 
the  three  of  us,  I  was  probably  the  only  one  who  knew, 
not  what  had  happened  (which  was  nothing)  but 
what  might  happen — which  was  everything.  That 
I  took  for  the  starting-point  of  my  consideration. 

And  I  saw  that  that,  at  the  outset,  was  an  enor- 
mous advantage  to  me.  Not  only  could  I  watch 
events,  but  I  could  watch  them  to  infinitely  better 
purpose  that  I  knew  what  to  look  for.  They,  when 
it  came — the  "it"  I  had  in  my  mind —  (I  ought 
rather  to  say  did  I  suffer  it  to  come)  would  not,  in 
the  bewildering  wonder  of  it,  know  what  had  over- 
taken them;  while  I,  by  a  timely  use  of  care  and 
skill,  might  even  turn  to  advantage  those  disadvan- 
tages of  mine  which,  huge  as  a  church,  might  have 
been  deemed  to  outweigh  everything  else.  No  more 
perfect  cover  for  hidden  motion  could  have  been  de- 
vised than  I  already  possessed.  IWho  suspects,  of 
anything,  one  whom  to  suspect  would  on  the  face 
of  it  be  absurd  ?  I  could,  did  I  find  this  necessary, 
use  practically  the  whole  of  my  conspicuous  life  and 
narrow  circumstances  as  a  screen. 

I  reached  the  top  of  Gray's  Inn  Road,  crossed  to 
St  Pancras  Station,  and,  following  the  line  of  coal 


HOLBORN  45 

merchants'  offices  on  the  left  side  of  the  road,  plunged 
into  the  shadows  of  the  Somers  Town  arches.  It 
was  there  that  I  thought  of  another  thing  that 
I  must  interrupt  my  meditation  to  acquaint  you 
with. 

You  may  have  wondered  why,  if  all  young  Mer- 
ridew  said  about  my  brains  was  true,  I  had  still, 
after  some  years  as  an  agency  clerk  at  Eixon  Tebb 
&  Masters',  not  been  able  to  get  away  from  the 
place.  Well,  the  answer  to  that  is  involved  in  a 
hundred  other  things  that  have  ended,  after  fifteen 
years,  in  my  now  being  able  to  write  this  chapter  of 
my  personal  history  at  a  great  square  mahogany  and 
leather  writing-table,  with  two  softly-shaded  electric 
standards  upon  it,  and,  containing  it,  a  lofty  panelled 
study,  rich  and  quiet,  with  a  carpet  soft  as  thymy 
turf  and  my  pictures  and  carvings  and  cabinets-  mir- 
rored in  floor-borders,  brown  and  deep  as  the  pools 
of  my  Irish  trout  stream.  You  do  not  want  the 
whole  of  that  long  story.  I  will  tell  you  as  much  as 
is  necessary  here.  The  rest  I  may  tell  at  some  other 
time. 

The  truth  was  that  I  had  left  Eixon  Tebb  & 
Masters' — had  left  the  place,  and  had  achieved  the 
seeming  miracle  of  being  permitted  to  return.  Such 
a  marvel  was  without  precedent,  and  I  cannot  say 
that  it  had  been  accomplished  altogether  by  my  own 
contrivance.  I  said  a  little  while  ago  that  there 


46     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

were  eight  of  us,  bad  over  in  a  lump  from  the  agency ; 
I  also  said  that  only  by  way  of  the  junior  clerkship 
was  any  advancement  possible  from  that  slavery  of 
addressing  envelopes  that  might  have  been  for  com- 
pany circularisation  or  might  have  been  sent  over 
in  shiploads  to  the  Flushing  and  Middleburg  book- 
makers for  all  we  knew;  and  I  had  had  the  signal 
luck — I  forgot  this  when  I  said  that  luck  had  always 
passed  me  by  on  the  other  side — to  present  myself 
for  reappointment,  without  any  hope  whatever  of 
getting  it,  at  the  very  moment  when  Polwhele  had 
succeeded  to  this  post. 

How  Polwhele  had  chanced  to  be  occupied  as  he 
had  been  occupied  when  I  had  presented  myself  I 
understand  only  too  well.  Sneaking,  prying,  slan- 
dering, peaching — you  didn't  become  Eixon  Tebb 
&  Masters'  junior  clerk  without  having  been 
through  the  mill  of  all  this  and  more.  Poor  worm, 
he  had  got  so  used  to  it  that  he  couldn't  help  it. 
Having  attained  to  the  junior  clerkship,  he  was  go- 
ing to  work  up  through  the  seniors  by  the  same 
means,  I  suppose,  and  the  means  he  had  been  mak- 
ing use  of,  at  the  moment  of  my  coming  upon  him, 
had  been  the  furtive  rummaging  of  a  waste-paper 
Basket  that  had  come — I  knew  this  by  the  pattern  of 
it-^tem  Mr  Masters'  private  office. 

It  had  been,  of  course,  the  perfect  opportunity 
for  me,  who  was  subdued  to  sneaking  and  peaching 


HOLBORN  47 

also.  I  had  leaned  my  elbow  on  the  brass  rail  of  a 
tall  desk  and  stood  looking  down  on  him — such  a 
long  way  down  it  seemed — he  was  on  his  knees. 

"Hallo,  Polwhele!"  I  had  suddenly  said. 
"  Going  to  put  Samson  Evitt  out  of  business  ? " 
And  then  I  waited  to  see  how  he  took  it. 

I  don't  suppose  you've  ever  heard  of  Samson  Evitt. 
He  has  been  a  solicitor;  at  that  time  he  described 
himself  as  a  waste-paper  dealer;  and  what  he  really 
did,  and  for  all  I  know  does  still,  was  to  buy  up, 
through  a  hundred  miserable  agents,  and  on  the 
chance  of  coming  upon  some  private  letter  or  secret 
draft,  the  contents  of  such  receptacles  as  Polwhele's 
fingers  had  been  deep  in  at  that  moment. 

"  Going  to  start  in  Samson's  line,  are  you, 
Polwhele?" 

The  colour  of  his  face  had  changed  as  swiftly 
as  that  of  the  electric  advertisement  opposite  my 
bedroom  at  King's  Cross.  He  had  gone  as  white 
as  chalk.  I  had  known  perfectly  well  that  he  wasn't 
going  to  sell  anything  to  Samson  Evitt,  but  was 
merely  playing  his  own  hand  with  the  firm ;  but  he'd 
had  no  business  at  all  with  Mr  Masters'  waste-paper 
basket,  and  knew  it.  It  had  been  rather  horrible, 
but  I  had  known  I  was  as  good  as  reinstated  already. 

"I'm  coming  back,  Polwhele,"  I  had  said. 

He  had  not  spoken — only  looked  at  me  with  eyes 
full  of  terror. 


48     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  You're  going  to  see  that  I  come  back,  Polwliele," 
I  had  informed  him. 

"  My  God,  Jeffries,  you  wouldn't  have  the  heart." 

"  Oh  no — not  as  long  as  I  come  back." 

Then  swiftly  he  had  seen  his  years  of  shifts  and 
meannesses  all  wasted  unless  .  .  . 

"Oh  my  God!  How  can  I  do  it?"  he  had 
groaned. 

"  I  don't  know,  Polwhele." 

I  did  not  know,  nor  do  I  know  now  how  he  did 
it.  Men  do  impossible  things  when  they've  got  to. 
That  had  been  on  a  Friday  evening,  at  a  quarter 
to  seven  (the  zeal  of  a  new  junior  clerk  always  kept 
him  after  the  others  had  gone).  I  had  given  him 
Monday  in  which  to  see  to  it.  On  the  Tuesday 
morning,  at  nine  o'clock,  I  had  been  back  at  my  en- 
velope addressing  again.  These  things  have  to  be 
done  sometimes.  And  I  need  hardly  add  that  now 
Polwhele  would  have  turned  up  at  my  funeral  with1 
a  smile  on  his  lips  and  a  nosegay  in  his  buttonhole. 

Of  the  period  between  my  leaving  Rixon  Tebb 
&  Masters'  and  my  return  thither  I  will  not  speak. 
You  may  guess  at  the  nature  of  its  experiences  from 
the  fact  that  I  was  thankful  to  get  back  to  my  lists 
and  addresses  again. 

It  would  have  surprised  my  fellow-clerks,  who 
saw  in  me  one  as  listless  as  themselves,  to  learn  with 
what  unresting  energy  I  had  worked  since  then. 


HOLBORN  49 

I  had  resolved  that  my  next  leap  from  that  frying- 
pan  should  not  be  into  the  fire,  and  the  means  by 
which  I  was  making  sure  of  this  was  the  Business 
College  in  Holborn.  I  knew  my  great  natural  gifts 
and  the  power  that  smouldered  within  me,  but  I  had 
also  learned,  and  in  a  school  where  the  lessons  were 
well  driven  home,  that  power  and  natural  gifts  were, 
for  a  man  in  my  position,  practically  worthless  un- 
less they  were  supplemented  and  guaranteed.  I  had 
got  to  get  myself  certificated. 

I  don't  know  what  certificates  have  come  to  mean 
nowadays,  sometimes,  I  fear,  very  little.  They  seem 
to  me  to  have  lowered  the  standard  with  the  utmost 
recklessness.  I  would  not,  in  my  own  business,  give 
a  pound  a  dozen  for  some  of  these  artificially  achieved 
successes  that  are  offered  to  me  almost  every  day 
in  the  week,  and  it  causes  me  no  surprise  whatever 
when  I  see  the  highly  certificated  also  unemployed. 
.  .  .  But  it  was  rather  different  then.  Once 
more  I  have  forgotten  my  luck  and  railed  at  the  god- 
dess. It  was  my  luck  to  be  certificated  while  certifi- 
cates still  had  a  value,  and  for  a  year  and  a  half 
I  had  drifted  through  my  occupation  by  day  but 
worked  with  an  almost  demoniac  energy  by  night  in 
order  that  I  might  not  miss  a  single  one  of  these 
tickets  of  authenticity  that  it  was  possible  for  me  to 
obtain.  A  First  Honours  in  Method  would  now 
complete  my  equipment. 


50     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

And,  looking  back  now,  I  wonder  how  much  super- 
stition there  was  in  it  that  I  wanted  all  the  changes 
I  was  planning  to  come  at  once.  For  I  meant  that 
the  break,  when  it  did  come,  should  be  clean  and 
final.  As  long  as  I  remained  with  Eixon  Tebb  & 
Masters'  my  wretched  single  room  at  King's  Cross 
was  quite  good  enough  for  an  agency  clerk;  when  I 
left  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  I  would  leave  those 
quarters  also.  Until  then,  I  don't  think  you  could 
have  dragged  me  out,  so  strongly  had  I  this  feeling. 
Superstition  or  what  you  like,  it  had,  for  me,  the 
force  of  a  large  and  wise,  if  not  yet  fully  worked 
out  strategy.  They  tried,  of  course,  at  the  Business 
College  in  Holborn,  just  as  they  are  now  trying  at 
the  new  place  in  Kingsway,  to  teach  us  this  larger 
generalship  of  waiting,  withholding,  massing,  concen- 
tration, and  then  the  swift  development  and  ad- 
vance; but  I  don't  think  it  was  much  good.  You 
don't  get  these  things  in  return  for  so  many  guineas 
a  year  in  fees.  But  I  felt  their  stirrings  then. 
.  .  .  I  hope  I  have  made  it  plain  that  neither  at 
the  place  in  Kingsway,  nor  in  my  sordid  lodgings 
over  the  public-house,  nor  under  the  arches  of 
Somers  Town  that  night,  was  I  wasting  my  time. 

And  now,  like  a  match  to  all  that  I  had  prepared 
and  was  preparing,  had  come  the  kindling  thought 
of  Evie  Soames. 

I  remember  I  walked  to  Hampstead  that  night, 


HOLBOKN  51 

revolving  it  all.  Walking  always  steadies  me,  and 
by  the  time  I  had  reached  the  Lower  Heath  the 
mechanical  calculators  at  the  new  place  in  Kings- 
way  do  not  work  more  coldly  and  mathematically 
than  my  brain  had  begun  to  work.  The  advantages 
I  possessed,  which  had  been  the  first  thing  to  rush 
into  my  head,  I  allowed  for  the  present  to  take  care 
of  themselves ;  I  now  envisaged  my  disadvantages. 

You  may  imagine  that  these  were  terrifying. 
.  .  .  I  counted  them,  and  was  unable  to  check 
my  groans  when,  thinking  I  had  come  to  the  end  of 
them,  yet  another  sprang  up,  stabbing  me  as  it  were 
from  behind.  They  might  almost  have  been  veri- 
table assassins,  springing  out  from  behind  the  dark 
bushes  and  copses  near  the  Vale  of  Health  among 
which  I  wandered.  .  .  .  Think  of  them  I 
Think  of  them! 

They,  he  and  she,  were  of  an  age,  or  nearly;  I 
seven  years  the  senior  of  the  elder  of  them.  They 
met  on  three  days  a  week  at  the  college,  met  doubt- 
less to  snigger  together  over  their  "  fun,"  only  on 
three  evenings  could  I  see  her.  Her  people  appar- 
ently knew  his ;  she  would  go  down  to  Guildf ord,  and 
my  fancy  might  picture  them,  together  there,  tak- 
ing walks,  telling  stories  over  the  fire,  laughing  at 
chance  resemblances  at  the  Zoo.  And  all  this  time 
I  should  not  cease  for  a  moment  to  labour  at  that 
garden  of  my  ambition  above  the  brown  mould  of 


52     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

which  not  a  green  shoot  yet  showed.  How  (you 
must  remember  I  was  desperately  facing  the  worst 
that  could  happen  and  not  the  best) — how  could  they 
help  but  fall  in  love?  What  would  it  be  possible 
for  me  to  do  but  to  discover  the  thing  after  it  had 
happened?  And  when  it  had  happened,  what  was 
there  then  to  be  done  ? 

But  I  need  not  force  all  this  upon  you.  You  will 
see  for  yourself.  Look  at  it,  then,  and  tell  me  where 
you  would  have  conceived  the  odds  to  lie — with  my 
possibly  large-planning  but  certainly  slow-executing 
brain,  or  with  them  and  their  opportunities  and  luck 
and  gifts  of  circumstance  and  nature,  demolishable 
singly  perhaps,  but  well-nigh  invincible  in  the  sum 
of  them  ? 

I  weighed  it  as  I  strayed  and  stubbled  about  the 
benighted  Heath. 

I  returned  from  Hampstead  at  three  o'clock  in 
the  morning.  My  horror  of  red  and  green  had  long 
since  been  switched  off,  and  I  got  into  bed  during 
the  only  quiet  interval  that  noisy  and  populous  cor- 
ner ever  knew.  I  had  now  balanced  advantages  and 
disadvantages  together,  and  was  recapitulating  the 
whole.  Examining,  setting  aside,  bringing  forward 
again  to  re-examine  in  other  aspects,  setting  aside 
again,  checking,  dismissing,  estimating — my  brain 
worked  like  a  ticking  instrument.  Clocks  struck, 
but  still  I  pondered;  and  I  was  as  free  from  anger 


HOLBORN  53 

now  as  if  it  had  been  another,  not  I,  who  had  sought 
the  support  of  the  railings  in  Mecklenburgh  Square. 
And  there  dominated  all  my  machination  the 
single  thought,  that  by  no  slip  or  carelessness  or  over- 
looked detail  must  they  be  made  aware  that  I  was 
watching  them  as  a  masked  thief  watches  the  un- 
easy sleeper  upon  the  bed. 


IT  was  at  Eixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  that  I  first  be- 
gan to  know  jealousy,  or  at  least  the  image  of  it. 
I  find  I  must  say  a  little  more  about  this  place  in 
which  I  spent  my  days  at  that  time. 

I  have  said  that  Polwhele  hated  me;  but  nobody 
loved  anybody  else  at  Kixon  Tebb  &  Masters'.  I 
have  worked  in  offices  that  have  been  not  bad  fun  at 
all;  offices  where  the  fellows  formed  a  sort  of  fam- 
ily, as  they  did  afterwards  at  the  Freight  &  Ballast 
Company,  with  something  not  unlike  the  family 
bond,  the  family  jokes,  and  an  interchange  each 
morning  of  the  adventures  of  the  night  before  not 
unlike  the  exchange  of  items  of  news  from  -letters 
about  a  family  breakfast-table ;  but  there  was  nothing 
like  that  at  Eixon  Tebb  &  Masters'.  There,  one  of 
us  could  scarcely  glance  up  over  the  little  brass  rail 
at  his  desk-head  without  seeing,  across  the  spaces 
where  the  green  porcelain  cones  of  the  incandescents 
hung,  another  furtive  pair  of  eyes  meeting  his  own 
and  looking  almost  guiltily  away  again.  If  the 
partners  despised  us  for  our  cringing  before  them 
they  were  right;  we  were  a  despicable  set.  I  don't 
think  a  friendship  was  ever  struck  up  in  the 'place. 
We  hated,  if  for  no  other  reason,  than  because  each 

54 


HOLBORN  55 

of  us  knew  his  neighbour  to  be  as  contemptible  as  he 
knew  himself  to  be. 

It  was  in  this  atmosphere  that  I  wrapped  myself 
about  with  the  thought  of  Evie  Soames.  My  rou- 
tine  work  taxed  my  attention  little ;  I  could  do  it  as 
well  as  it  needed  to  be  done  and  live  a  whole  free 
inner  life  at  the  same  time;  and  I  was  sometimes 
actually  startled  when,  looking  up  after  some  lapse 
and  interim  in  which  I  had  seen  nothing  but  the 
shape  of  Evie's  birch-like  neck  and  the  brilliant  mo- 
tion of  her  eyes,  I  saw  the  crafty  gaze  of  a  fellow- 
clerk  on  my  face.  Once  I  met  Sutt's  eyes  in  this 
way;  I  knew  his  thought,  namely,  that  he  surmised 
the  nature  of  mine;  and  he  smiled,  a  mean  sort  of 
smile.  He  didn't  smile  twice,  though,  while  I  was 
there.  I  don't  mean  that  I  said  or  did  anything, 
but  I  think  he  knew  what  my  look  meant.  .  .  . 
All  the  same  there  got  about  the  office — or  rather 
about  the  corners  and  lavatories  and  behind  screens> 
for  it  never  came  nearer  to  me  than  that — the  only 
joke  I  remember  ever  to  have  been  born  there — the 
joke  that  Jeffries  had  all  the  appearance  of  a  man 
in  love.  I  took  the  hint.  Thenceforward,  as  far  as  I 
might,  I  did  not  allow  the  faintest  flicker  of  an 
emotion  to  cross  my  face.  And  more  than  ever  was 
I  on  my  guard  lest  I  should  do  so  in  a  place  where 
it  would  have  mattered  more  than  it  did  at  Rixon 
Tebb  &  Masters'. 


56     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

Then,  long  before  I  knew  of  any  valid  grounds  for 
them,  and  before  a  brain  less  prospectively  active 
than  mine  would  as  much  as  dreamed  of  them,  came 
these  jealousies.  Perhaps,  like  my  occasional  angers 
and  like  that  secret  fragrant  flame  of  my  love,  they 
were  emotions  at  large,  unattached  to  any  person 
but  bound  sooner  or  later  to  become  so  attached,  and 
already  seeking  a  quarter  in  which  to  alight. 

They  wrung  my  heart.  Hot  flushes  and  rages 
sometimes  came  upon  me  with  no  warning  whatever. 
Sometimes  in  the  middle  of  a  column  of  figures  or  a 
twelve-inch-high  stack  of  addresses,  a  devil  would 
slyly  lift  its  head — the  thought  that  while  I  sat  there 
polishing  my  trousers  on  a  tall  stool  and  the  wrist  of 
my  sleeve  on  my  desk,  he  and  my  Evie  were — where  ? 
.  .  .  I  have  in  a  remarkable  degree  that  most 
precious  and  most  hideous  of  gifts,  the  gift  of  mental 
visualisation,  at  these  times  it  would  have  its  way 
with  me.  I  would  see  them  in  those  moments  where 
I  would  and  engaged  how  I  would.  Well  nigh  as 
clearly  as  I  see  the  page  before  me,  I  would  see  him, 
long  boyish  head  and  fair  curly  hair,  red  waistcoat 
and  cigarette,  and  turned-up  trousers  and  all,  now 
making  pretexts  that  something  was  wrong  with  her 
typewriter,  now  carrying  a  specimen  ledger  for  her, 
now  choosing  for  himself  a  place  from  which  he 
could  watch  her,  or  even  passing  on  to  her  the  ex- 


HOLBORN  57 

planations  of  knots  and  difficulties  he  had  had  the 
previous  evening  from  myself.  My  fancy  (my  rea- 
son at  these  times  its  helpless  slave)  would  dog  them 
— past  the  general  room  into  the  lecture-room — 
thence  to  the  hack  room  where  the  charts  and  ap- 
paratus were  kept — thence  back  again  through  the 
lecture  room  into  the  shorthand  and  typewriting  and 
senior  class  rooms,  and  so  throughout  every  corner 
hehind  our  three  Holborn  bow  windows.  There 
were  times  when  I  used  all  my  powers  of  concentra- 
tion to  see  one  of  them  without  the  other,  and  failed. 
.  .  .  And  then  the  fit  would  pass  and  my  steady 
reason  would  reassert  itself.  I  would  tell  myself 
I  was  a  fool  to  thrust  knives  into  myself  thus.  She 
was  merely  that  touchingly  opening  fair  young  tree; 
and  as  for  him,  if  his  young  male  swaggerings  in 
the  pride  of  his  twenty-two  years  included  any  knowl- 
edge of  girls  at  all,  they  were  probably  girls  of  a 
very  different  class  from  hers. 

Then  would  come  the  other  damnable  series  again, 
and  the  sweat  would  stand  on  my  brow. 

"No  wonder  Sutt  looked. 

Yet  I  am  not  sure  that,  for  the  sake  of  certain 
purely  heavenly  hours,  I  would  not  go  through  it 
all  again.  Would  you  suppose  that  in  that  five-shil- 
ling room  of  mine,  where  I  had  to  flatten  myself 
against  the  wall  before  I  could  take  my;  clothes  off 


58     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

unseen — or  as  I  dined  on  sausage  and  mashed  at  my 
reeking  "pull-up" — or  as  I  roamed  the  pavements 
in  search  of  the  physical  exhaustion  that  should  bring 
sleep — would  you  suppose  that  in  these  places  and 
living  this  life  I  could  have  heavenly  hours?  Ah, 
but  I  could,  and  had !  .  .  .  I  don't  want  you  to 
think  I  am  sentimentalising  about  it.  The  public- 
house  downstairs  had  knocked  a  good  many  ideas 
about  the  sanctity  of  our  common  humanity  out  of 
my  head.  I  never,  in  my  fourpenny  dining-place, 
looked  at  the  drayman  or  porter  at  the  next  table 
and  wondered  whether  he  also  knew  the  heights  and 
abysses  I  knew.  Doubtless  he  had  or  had  had  his 
own,  but  all  is  not  comparative.  There  are  grades 
in  heaven  and  hell.  I  knew  I  stood  out,  exceptional, 
destined,  marked  for  signal  honour  or  for  signal  dis- 
honour. I  had  no  desire  to  persuade  anybody  else 
of  this.  These  things  are  beyond  proof.  Attempt 
to  prove  them  and  you  but  prove  their  opposites. 

And  so  literally  was  this  slender  dark  creature 
"  my  life,"  that  often  at  the  college  itself  my  reso- 
lution all  but  failed  me.  More  (but  not  much  more) 
woman  than  child,  she  seemed  at  these  times — what 
shall  I  say? — not  a  wonder  shrunk,  but  a  receptacle 
strangely  slight  and  tender  for  the  mighty  things 
preparing  for  her.  At  such  moments  I  found  my- 
self looking  years  ahead — seeing  many  things  over 
and  behind  us,  and  myself,  perhaps,  turning  my 


HOLBORN  59 

power  elsewhere.  And  that  moved  me  more  than  all 
the  rest.  For  my  strength  was  ever  being  used  for 
her.  Service  of  her  was  the  law  of  it,  as  I  now 
knew  it  had  been  its  origin.  I  sometimes  had  ado 
not  to  sob,  when  watching  her  young  head  bent  over 
the  page  of  a  text-book,  images  of  great  and  brood- 
ing protection  of  enfolding  and  strong  and  jealous 
wakefulness,  filled  my  breast  as  I  looked.  I  felt  in 
those  moments  that  for  every  hair  of  her  head  I 
could  have  killed  a  man  and  felt  no  compunction 
afterwards. 

Evie  caused  me  far  more  anxiety  than  Archie  did. 
At  all  times  Archie's  vanities,  quite  as  amusing  to 
watch  as  those  of  any  young  girl,  would  blind  him 
to  much  that  lay  an  inch  or  two  beyond  the  end  of  his 
nose.  He  was,  moreover,  deep  in  his  examination 
work,  and  I  had  no  doubt  that,  once  the  examinations 
were  over,  he  would  indulge  himself  in  a  mild  little 
"  burst "  and  flatter  his  seraphic  self  he  was  rather 
a  devil  in  his  way.  But  she  was  more  difficult. 
For  one  thing,  hers  was  a  richer  nature.  She  had,  or 
would  presently  have,  far  more  to  give ;  and  already 
I  saw  that,  as  surely  as  Miss  Windus  was  one  of 
Life's  takers,  Evie  Soames  was  one  of  Life's  givers. 

I  watched — how  I  watched! — for  the  slightest  of 
her  unconscious  betrayals ;  and,  of  course,  by  dint  of 
watching  I  was  able  to  find  a  thousand  that  presently 
vanished  again.  I  drew  trifling  tremendous  conclu- 


60     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE' 

sions  from  the  merest  nothings.  She  could  not  make 
a  gawky,  captivating  little  movement  but  I  would 
found  something  upon  it,  not  a  pretty  coltish  ges- 
ture but  I  had  my  inference  to  draw.  The  smile, 
perhaps,  where  lately  the  laugh  would  have  been— 
the  little  check  of  recollection,  even  as  she  was  perch- 
ing herself  with  a  tomboy ish  swing  on  the  edge  of  a 
table,  that  she  "  was  grown-up  now  " — slight  little 
ceremoniousn esses,  stilted  little  phrases  and  momen- 
tary forgettings  again — I  missed  not  one  of  these. 
My  lovely,  lovely  flapper!  Did  you  know  that  you 
were  twenty  different  creatures  in  a  week,  each  be- 
yond words  adorable  until  another  swelling  nodule 
yielded  and  allowed  a  peep  of  a  yet  inner  fender  and 
rosy  heart  ? 

Of  course  I  see  now  that  I  was  far  too  clever  in 
all  this.  I  had,  in  fact,  taken  the  course  that  was 
least  of  all  likely  to  tell  me  what  I  wanted  to  know. 
For,  as  a  face  seen  daily  shows  no  change  and  yet 
grows  relentlessly  older,  so,  because  of  my  watching, 
she  changed  under  my  eyes  and  my  eyes  did  not  tell 
me  she  had  changed.  I  have  had  in  my  time  various 
things  to  say  about  "woman's  intuition."  I,  like 
the  rest  of  us,  have  set  half  of  it  down  as  guessing 
and  the  other  half  (the  half  that  events  falsify)  as 
a  convenient  forgetfulness.  -Well,  I  hope  I  make 
amends  when  I  admit  now  that  in  all  this  I  owed 
my  final  enlightenment  to  a  woman,  and  to  the  woman 


HOLBORN  61 

to  whom  I  would  least  of  all  have  been  indebted — to 
Miss  Windus. 

It  was  on  a  Friday  evening  that  this  enlightenment 
came  to  me.  Fridays  were  ever  a  pain  to  me,  be- 
cause of  the  three  whole  days  that  must  elapse — 
five  if  she  failed  to  appear  on  the  Monday  evening — 
before  I  could  see  Evie  again.  Believe  me,  the  last 
minutes  of  those  Friday  evenings  always  cost  me 
dearly  in  emotion ;  and  in  order  that  I  might  make 
the  most  of  them  I  had  some  time  before  discontinued 
a  former  habit  of  irlne — that  of  working  in  the 
senior  students'  classroom.  By  so  doing  I  had  fore- 
stalled any  remarks  on  the  fact  that  I  was  frequently 
to  be  found  in  the  same  room  as  Evie.  And  even 
then  I  knew  I  was  lucky  to  escape  Miss  Levey's  He- 
brew intensiveness. 

But  on  that  Friday  night  I  was  restless.  An 
absurd  trifle  had  unsettled  me  (but  I  have  told  you 
how  much  such  trifles  meant  to  me) — nothing  more 
than  an  alteration  in  Evie's  way  of  arranging  her 
hair.  Until  then  it  had  been  drawn  back  and  massed 
in  a  thick  little  clump  on  her  nape,  showing  beauti- 
fully the  small  round  of  her  head;  but  now  she  had 
parted  it  (I  did  not  think  altogether  more  becom- 
ingly) in  the  middle,  and  had  evidently  been  mak- 
ing desperate  attempts  to  "wave"  it.  Certainly 
the  change  gave  her  at  once  a  more  adult  air,  which 
J  supposed  I  should  get  used  to,  unless,  as  was  likely, 


62     IN  ACCORDANCE  .WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

she  changed  it  again  in  the  following  week.  Her 
blouse  also  was  new.  It  had  a  high  lace  collar  up  to 
her  ears,  and  I  didn't  like  it  in  the  least.  It  was 
mere  concealment,  without  concealment's  charm. 

I  was  restless.  I  had  begun  the  evening  by  work- 
ing, for  once,  in  the  senior  classroom  again;  but 
presently,  not  happy  where  I  was  and  not  wishing 
to  go  straightway  into  the  lecture-room  where  Evie 
sat,  I  had  compromised  by  packing  up  my  things 
and  going  into  the  room  adjoining  hers — the  general 
room.  The  reference  books  were  kept  in  the  gen- 
eral room,  and,  presently,  having  need  of  one  of 
these,  I  had  crossed  to  the  shelf  and  taken  it  down. 

I  ought  to  explain  that  these  books  were  kept  in 
three  projecting  bays,  such  as  one  sees  in  libraries, 
that  stood  out  at  right  angles  from  the  wall.  Thus 
the  books  of  each  projecting  wing  faced  both  ways 
and  between  the  bays  there  was  just  room  enough 
for  the  short  library  ladder  of  three  or  four  steps 
with  the  vertical  staff  to  steady  yourself  by  as  you 
stood  on  it.  As  I  could  easily  reach  any  book  there 
without  the  ladder,  I  had  passed  the  bay  that  con- 
tained it,  and  had  taken  up  my  place  on  the  farther 
side  of  the  wing  nearest  the  window,  where  I  stood 
with  the  open  book  in  my  hand.  I  forget  what  the 
book  was. 

As  I  stood  I  heard  Miss  Windus  and  Miss  Causton 
come  into  the  adjoining  compartment. 


HOLBORN  63 

I  had  no  great  interest  in  either  of  these  women 
— I  may  say  none,  since  I  could  not  see  Miss  Cans- 
ton's  fluent  hand;  so,  merely  noting  their  arrival,  I 
was  continuing  my  reading  when  suddenly  I  heard 
the  name  of  Evie  Soames.  It  was  Miss  Windus 
who  was  speaking. 

"...  Oh,  I  suppose  so;  in  her  way,  of 
course — if  that's  all  men  want !  "  she  was  saying. 
"  Don't  you  think  ? "  This  with  a  little  acidulous 
rising  inflection. 

Then  I  heard  Miss  Causton's  indolent  voice  in 
reply.  From  the  way  in  which  she  spoke  I  fancied 
she  was  eating  sweets.  It  had  lately  struck  me  that 
she  ate  more  sweets  than  both  the  other  girls  to- 
gether, and  if  it  wasn't  sweets  it  was  something  else. 

"  Don't  ask  me,  my  dear,"  she  drawled.  ff  I  don't 
know  what  the  creatures  want." 

"  Of  course  not.  They  do  seem  to  want  such — 
odd — things.  The  way  I'm  looked  at  sometimes — 
I  declare  it  makes  me  feel  perfectly  ashamed !  "  said 
Miss  Windus.  Why  she  said  it  I  don't  know.  It 
was  the  purest  hypocrisy,  and  it  was  not  likely  to 
impose  on  Miss  Causton,  who  had  a  nonchalant,  still 
humour  of  her  own.  .  .  .  But  on  second 
thoughts  I  don't  know.  I  was  not  always  sure, 
afterwards,  when  I  got  to  know  Miss  Windus  bet- 
ter, that  she  didn't  really  labour  under  some  such 
delusion  as  this. 


64     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  Do  they  ? "  Miss  Causton  asked  lazily.  "  They 
don't  worry  me  much.  So  long  ago  since  I've  seen 
one  that  I've  nearly  forgotten." 

There  was  a  short  pause,  then: 

"  Keally,  they  stare  so,"  Miss  Windus  continued, 
"  look  one  so  out  of  countenance — one  really  doesn't 
know  which  way  to  turn !  " 

"No?"  came  Miss  Causton' s  ironical  dawdle. 
"Oh  .  .  .  with  a  chance,  my  dear  ...  7 
should !"...!  suppose  she  smiled  as  she 
said  it.  While  appearing  to  lay  herself  perfectly 
open  she  had  far  more  to  hide  than  Miss  Windus 
had. 

Miss  Windus  was  shocked. 

"  You  dreadful  girl !  .  .  .  But  really  Louie, 
you  must  have  noticed  it.  Why,  you  can  see  it  the 
moment  she  comes  into  the  room !  " 

"  Keally  ? "  came  the  other  detached  voice.  "  How 
quaint!  .  .  .  Who  do  you  think  she's  after? 
Not  the  Bahoon  ?  .  .  ." 

I  imagined  the  chuckle  I  didn't  hear.  I  took  it 
that  the  Baboon  was  myself. 

*'  Mandrill,  my  dear,"  Miss  Windus  corrected. 
'"  You  really  must  take  a  memory  powder !  .  .  ." 

"  Oh,  I  call  it  baboon,"  Miss  Oauston  remarked 
with  indifference.  Then  she  laughed.  .  .  . 
"  How  ridiculous  you  are !  He's  as  big  as  a  man 
ought  to  be  anyway — — " 


HOLBORN  65 

"Oh,  quite!" 

" and  I  declare  you  can  look  at  him  till  he's 

quite  good-looking ! " 

"Oh!  .  .  ."  (I  could  almost  see  Miss  Win- 
dus' quizzical  eyes.) 

"  Beally,  you  are  absurd !     .     .     ." 

There  was  another  short  silence. 

"  And  by  the  way/'  Miss  Windus  next  said,  "  he's 
been  rather — different  somehow — lately,  don't  you 
think  ? " 

Sweets  crunched  for  a  moment,  then: 

"  Different  ?  .  .  .  Do  you  mean  he's  been 
looking  at  you  in  that — ahem ! — dreadful  way  ?  " 

"  What,  that  creature !     .     .     ." 

"  Beg  yours,  dear " 

"  7  should  think  so !  .  .  .  But  I  fancied  he'd 
been  somehow — not  quite  the  same " 

"  Well,  anything  for  a  change,  as  the  song  says. 
Myself,  if  I  found  I  couldn't  get  along  without  'em, 
I  should  prefer- 
But  a  "  Sssh !  "  interrupted  Miss  Causton.  Some- 
body had  come  into  the  farther  bay,  and  the  rest  for 
a  time  was  whispering. 

When  next  the  conversation  became  audible  its 
tenor  did  not  seem  to  have  changed. 

"  Scented  soap  in  a  little  celluloid  box,  too !  "  Miss 
Windus  admired. 

"  One  must  keep   oneself  clean,"  Miss   Causton 


66     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

threw  off.  "  Have  some  of  this,  dear.  I  simply 
had  to  have  some  chocolate  nougat  to-night !  .  .  ." 

There  was  a  rustling  of  tissue  paper. 

"Well,  it's  a  sign,  and  so's  her  hair-waving  and 
polishing  her  nails  and  that  lace  yoke,"  Miss  Windus 
resumed. 

"  Oh  yes,  the  pneumonia  blouse " 

"And  her  heels — und  a  scent-sachet!     .     .     ." 

You  see  that  I  was  quite  deliberately  listening. 
I  am  not  putting  on  any  airs  about  it.  I  might 
have  been  Polwhele.  I  wanted  to  know,  so  I  lis- 
tened. I  did  more  than  listen  too.  I  watched.  I 
knew  that  the  shelves  were  only  half  full  on  the 
other  side;  only  a  screen  of  stout  wire  separated 
the  books  facing  one  way  from  those  facing  the 
other;  and  by  pulling  out  a  book  or  two  on  my  side 
I  should  probably  find  a  peephole.  ...  Very 
softly  I  pulled  three  or  four  out,  found  my  opening 
and  looked.  Miss  Causton  appeared  to  be  standing 
with  her  back  towards  me ;  I  couldn't  see  her ;  but  I 
could  see  Miss  Windus,  sitting  on  the  library  ladder 
holding  its  short  staff,  with  her  plaid  skirt  pulled 
tightly  about  one  carrot-shaped  thigh. 

They  began  to  talk  again. 

"And  another  thing  that  makes  me  quite  sure, 
dear!  She's  going  to  young  Merridew's  next  week- 
end!" 

"Oh! 


HOLBORN  67 

"  Don't  be  absurd.  You  know  what  I  mean.  To 
his  parents',  of  course;  they  live  in  Guildford. 
.  .  .  Not  that  she  told  me,  oh  no!  Not  her 
ladyship ! " 

"Who  did,  then?" 

"  Not  her,  though  I  gave  her  every  chance !  Six 
months  ago  she'd  have  told  me  like  a  shot,  but  we're 
getting  so  blessed  artful  these  days!  .  „  .  He 
told  me." 

"  Then  it  doesn't  look  as  if  it  was  the  Baboon  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  daresay  she'll  leave  you  your  Baboon  if 
you  want  him." 

"  Thanks.  I  think  I  should  know  which  way  to 
turn  in  thai  case,"  Miss  Causton  replied  evenly. 
"Coming?" 

And  they  left  the  bay  together. 

It  was  by  this  admirable  piece  of  Rixon  Tebb  & 
Masters'  work  that  I  learned  what,  it  appeared,  I 
had  been  watching  too  closely  to  see. 


VI 


I  HAD  intended  in  any  case  to  spend  the  re- 
mainder of  that  evening  with  Archie  Merridew. 
Mingled  with  my  restlessness  there  had  heen  a  trem- 
ulous sensitiveness  that  had  culminated  half-an-hour 
before  in  a  fit  of  satanic  pride.  Lately  (I  had  de^ 
cided)  it  had  come  to  be  taken  rather  too  much  as 
a  matter  of  course  that  our  frequent  adjournments 
after  the  evening  class  should  be  always  to  his  quar- 
ters and  never,  or  hardly  ever,  to  mine.  I  had  quite 
enough  to  bear  without  further  gratuitous  rubs  of 
that  kind,  and  I  had  resolved  that  I  would  make  my- 
self his  host  that  evening  though  he  had  lived  in  a 
mansion  and  I  in  a  sty. 

But  after  what  I  had  so  altogether  discreditably 
overheard  now  I  had  fifty  other  reasons  for  wishing 
him  to  come  along  with  me.  Almost  every  sentence 
that  had  been  spoken  on  the  other  side  of  that  bay 
of  books  had  contained  a  reason.  But  I  realised  that 
before  I  could  trust  myself  to  face  him  I  must  swal- 
low the  anger  that  crowded  thickly  into  my  throat. 
There  was  nothing  to  gain  and  everything  to  lose  by 
letting  him  see  my  rage.  So  I  walked  back  into  the 
empty  senior  classroom,  there  to  remain  until  I  should 

have  got  the  worst  of  it  over. 

68 


HOLBORN  69 

By  half-past  nine  I  had  got  myself  in  hand.  I 
gathered  my  work  together.  Students  were  coming 
to  the  row  of  washbowls  in  the  small  compartment 
at  the  end  of  the  senior  classroom  to  wash  their 
hands,  and  Evie  gave  me  the  smile  that  was  to  be  my 
nourishment  for  three  whole  days  as  she  passed  with 
her  towel  and  the  cake  of  soap  in  the  new  celluloid 
box.  Archie  had  been  working  all  the  evening  in 
the  typewriting-room;  now  was  my  chance,  before 
he  could  make  (supposing  him  to  want  to  make) 
any  appointment  with  her,  to  secure  this  myself, 
and  I  hurried  for  my  hat  and  coat  and  sought 
him. 

"Ready?"  I  said. 

"  Right-oh ;  just  a  minute,"  he  replied.  "  I  told 
?em  to  keep  my  fire  in — I'm  going  to  swot  like 
blazes  to-night." 

"  Oh  no — you're  coming  along  with  me  this  time," 
I  laughed.  "  I  shall  be  ashamed  to  show  my  face 
at  your  place  much  oftener  .  .  .  unless,"  I 
added  lest  he  should  shake  me  off,  "you  love  me 
merely  for  what  I  have " 

He  laughed  too.  He  was  at  the  young  and  squab- 
like  stage  that  takes  a  pride  in  scorning  appearances, 
and  even  finds  the  heart  more  rather  than  less  honest 
when  the  waistcoat  over  it  is  shabby.  He  accepted 
with  quite  a  good  grace,  got  his  hat  and  coat,  and 
we  went  out  together,  I  giving  Miss  Windus  an  un- 


70     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

impeachable  "  Good-night'"  as  I  passed  her,  hardly 
a  yard  from  the  spot  where  I  had  peeped  on  her  less 
than  an  hour  before. 

The  electrograph  opposite  my  abode  was  an  ad- 
vertisement of  "  Sarcey's  Fluid''  some  sort  of  a  dis- 
infectant ;  and  as  we  approached  it  Archie  looked  up. 

"Phew!  .  .  .  Needs  it  rather,  to-night, 
doesn't  it  ?  "  he  laughed. 

It  did  not  seem  to  me  to  "  need  it "  quite  so  badly 
that  evening  as  it  had  on  some  other  evenings — 
warm  summer  evenings,  for  example — I  had  known. 
December  had  come  in  rawly,  and  the  chestnut  stoves 
and  baked-potato  engine  were  out.  The  poorer  streets 
have  no  pleasanter  smell  than  that  of  baked  potatoes, 
broken  up,  sprinkled  with  salt  from  the  big  tin  cas- 
ter, and  closed  together  again  like  a  South  Sea  face 
with  a  mealy  smiling  mouth,  and  I  had  slipped  a 
couple  of  these  into  my  pocket  for  our  supper.  I 
suppose  Archie  meant  the  fried  fish  papers  in  the 
gutters  and  (as  we  entered  by  my  side  door)  the  acrid 
smell  of  the  public-house;  but  it  was  part  of  my 
fiendish  pride  to  rub  those  things  in  a  little  that 
evening,  and  I  made  light  of  them  as  we  mounted 
the  stairs. 

"Oh,  you're  pampered,  Master  Archie,"  said  I. 
"  I  had  thought  of  asking  you  round  to  supper  next 
Saturday  evening — not  to-morrow,  a  week  to-morrow 
— but  I  think  I  shall  save  my  hospitality." 


HOLBORN  71 

You  see  what  I  was  already  angling  for.  Well, 
I  caught  my  fish.  Of  course  he  couldn't  take  Evie 
down  to  his  folks  at  Guildford  without  my  knowing 
of  it,  but  I  wanted  to  see  the  fashion  in  which  he 
would  make  his  avowal.  We  had  left  the  carpeted 
corner  of  the  stairs  that  the  great  ornamental  public- 
house  lamp  illuminated  brightly  and  were  standing 
on  the  bare  landing  outside  my  room.  He  answered 
without  an  instant's  hesitation. 

"  Afraid  you'll  have  to,  Jeff — twice  over,"  he  re- 
plied. "  I've  got  to  go  down  home  that  week-end ; 
beastly  nuisance!  I  was  going  with  some  fellows 
over  to  Richmond — stag-party;  but  the  mater  writes 
that  she's  asked  Miss  Soames,  so  I  suppose  I  shall 
have  to  be  there  to  help  out — confound  it !  " 

I  opened  my  door  and  let  him  into  the  red  and 
green. 

"  Oh  ? "  I  remarked  casually.  "  Nice  change  for 
you.  You'll  be  all  the  fitter  for  the  exams.  Don't  tell 
me  about  your  stag-parties  though.  I  know  'em; 
you'd  take  jolly  good  care  not  to  pick  the  place  with 
the  plainest  waitresses  for  tea,  what  ?  I  know  you ! 
.  .  .  But  if  I  were  you  I'd  go  steady  for  a  week 
or  two,  my  boy,  that  Method  paper'll  be  harder  than 
you  think,  I  warn  you !  " 

"  I'm  watching  it !  "  he  replied  cheerfully.  "  By 
Jove!  Jeff,  I'd  forgotten  what  a  noisy  pitch  this  of 
yours  is !  .What  on  earth  makes  you  stay  here  ?  " 


72     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know,"  I  replied  carelessly,  apply- 
ing a  match  to  the  wick  of  my  lamp  and  replacing 
the  chimney.  "As  I  say,  you're  pampered.  The 
place  is  all  right.  I  don't  do  much  except  sleep 
here.  It's  a  bit  cold,  though.  I'd  keep  my  coat 
on  if  I  were. you " 

"Wouldn't  be  much  sleep  for  me  here,"  he  re- 
marked, sitting  on  the  edge  of  my  bed.  "  I  should 
want  a  good  stiff  drink  before  I  slept  much  in  this 
racket ! " 

As  I  placed  the  lamp  globe  on  its  brass  ring  I 
glanced  covertly  at  him.  It  was  a  green  interval, 
and  his  face  looked  as  if  he  stood  by  a  chemist's 
window  near  the  big  pear-shaped  green  globe,  while 
his  waistcoat  was  turned  to  a  black  purple,  with  one 
brass  button  gleaming  green  as  a  cat's  eye.  Then 
the  red  came  again,  and  the  lamp  flame  crept  up.  I 
went  to  the  little  cupboard  where  I  kept  my  few 
cups  and  saucers  and  plates.  I  filled  my  kettle  at 
the  tap  on  the  landing,  put  it  on  the  half-crown 
oil-stove,  and  began  to  prepare  our  feast. 

In  a  quarter  of  an  hour  it  was  ready — tea,  the 
baked  potatoes,  and  a  wedge  of  butter  apiece.  We 
ate  it,  he  sitting  on  my  bed,  I  in  my  sagging  and 
string-mended  old  wicker  chair.  I  saw  quite  plainly 
that  already  he  wanted  to  be  off,  and  would  stay  no 
longer  than  the  barest  decency  demanded;  but  he 
had  got  to  eat  that  pauper's  meal  before  I  let  him! 


HOLBORN  73 

go,  and  there  were  my  forty-nine  other  reasons  for 
having  got  him  up  there. 

One  of  these  other  reasons  had,  during  the  last 
hour,  taken  complete  shape  in  my  mind.  Its  conse- 
quences would  have  heen  impossible  to  foresee,  but, 
as  far  as  it  yet  went,  I  thought  it  crafty  enough;  I 
filched  another  look  at  him ;  he  was  burning  the  roof 
of  his  mouth  with  hot  potato  as  he  lolled  against 
my  bed  foot;  and  I  judged  it  time  to  put  my  plan 
into  execution. 

I  pushed  my  own  plate  away  and  sank  back  into 
my  lifeless  old  wicker  chair.  He  had  turned  his 
coat  collar  up  by  this  time.  My  plan  kept  me  warm. 

"You're  a  lucky  beggar,  you  know,  Archie,"  I 
sighed  heavily. 

He  had  moved,  to  set  down  his  cup  of  untasted 
tea  on  the  floor.  He  looked  up. 

"How?"  he  asked. 

I  settled  myself  farther  back. 

"  How !  "  I  repeated  almost  vindictively.  "  Don't 
you  call  it  lucky  having  a  house  and  people  and  so 
on?" 

"  Oh !  Everybody  has "  he  began,  but  cor- 
rected himself.  "  I  mean,  I  thought  you  meant  some 
special  luck ! " 

"  Oh  no — just  that,"  I  murmured.  "  Having  a 
place  to  ask  people  down  to  when  you  want — that's 
all" 


74     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

He  seemed  surprised.  "  Do  you  mean  Miss 
Soames  ? "  he  said. 

"  Miss ?  "  I  shook  my  head  absently.  "  Oh 

no,  I  wasn't  thinking  of  Miss  Soames— I  was  think- 
ing of  something  quite  different." 

He  meditated  for  a  moment. 

"  You  have  seemed  a  bit  different  lately.  .  .  . 
What's  up  ? "  he  demanded,  looking  squarely  at  me. 

My  plan,  to  which  his  last  words  gave  a  new  and 
unexpected  fillip,  was  briefly  this: 

When,  over  the  case  of  reference  books,  I  had 
heard  Miss  Windus  make  the  very  remark  he  also 
had  just  made — namely,  that  I  had  been  "differ- 
ent " — I  had  had  a  swift  access  of  alarm.  In  what 
particular  I  had  betrayed  myself  I  didn't  know,  but 
I  realised  very  clearly,  and  doubly  clearly  now  that 
the  same  remark  had  dropped  from  Archie  himself, 
that  love  and  a  light  cannot  be  hid,  and  that  if  my 
extreme  former  care  had  not  secured  me  from 
remark  no  care  I  was  likely  to  be  able  to  take 
for  the  future  would  do  so.  I  had  laid  myself 
open,  and  should  do  so  again.  How  was  I  to  cover 
myself  ? 

I  thought  I  saw  my  way.  I  invite  you  to  consider 
that  way. 

Were  I  to  give  it  out  to  Archie — or  rather,  not 
so  much  to  give  it  out  as  allow  a  surmise  to  dawn 
on  him — that  my  heart  was  already  pre-engaged  in 


HOLBORN  75 

some  carefully  unspecified  quarter  or  other,  not  only 
would  this  "  difference,"  both,  he  and  Miss  Windus 
had  remarked  on,  be  admitted  and  accounted  for, 
but  I  should  at  one  stroke  set  myself  free  from  a 
hundred  other  trammels  of  gossip,  past,  present  and 
to  come.  After  that  avowal  nothing  I  did  would  be 
unaccountable.  I  should  have  a  definite  place  in 
the  general  sex-understanding.  I  should  be  classed, 
out  of  the  running,  filed  and  docketed,  totally  unin- 
teresting to  either  Miss  Windus  or  Miss  Causton 
and  rid  of  the  attentions  of  Miss  Levey. 

And  I  should  also — my  heart  had  thrilled  suddenly 
and  poignantly  as  I  thought  of  this — I  should  also  be 
admitted  at  once  to  privileges.  I  should  have  my 
share  in  such  freedoms  and  exemptions  as  the  mar- 
ried man  knows  fully  and  the  attached  bachelor  at 
least  to  a  probationary  extent.  This  state  of  things 
does  by  tacit  acknowledgment  exist.  The  man  who 
can  say  all  to  one  woman  can  say  more  than  other 
men  to  all  women.  And  the  shining  immunity  I 
now  saw  before  me  would  even  include  what  so  far 
I  had  had  to  deny  myself — conversation,  thus  safe- 
guarded, with  Evie  herself. 

"  By  heaven !  "  my  heart  now  cried  within  me, 
"I  will  do  it!" 

And  instantly  a  perfect  seething  of  the  cautions 
and  reserves  with  which  I  must  do  it  sprang  up  in 
my  brain. 


76     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

But  here  was  Archie  patiently  waiting  for  me  to 
speak. 

"  What's  up  ?  What  the  dickens  are  you  talking 
about  ? "  he  asked  once  more. 

I  let  my  head  drop,  as  a  man  might  who  discovers 
he  has  said  too  much.  "  Oh,  nothing,"  I  replied. 

Archie  was  just  as  sharp  as — neither  more  nor 
less  than — I  wished  him  to  be. 

"  A  lot  of  fuss  about  nothing — if  it's  really  noth- 
ing," he  said  suspiciously. 

The  next  moment  he  had  looked  hard  into  my 
face,  taken  a  long  breath,  and,  suddenly  bringing 
his  hand  down  on  his  thigh,  broken  into  loud  laughter. 

"By  Jove!  Jeff — I  really  believe — let V have  a 
look  at  you — by  Jove!  I  really  do — /  believe  you're 

in  love!  What  a How  ripping,  I  mean! 

Best  congratulations,  old  chap — my  turn  this  time — 
ha  ha  ha  ha!" 

I  drew  myself  heavily  up.  The  kind  of  thing  I 
was  doing  has  to  be  done  rather  carefully.  "  Look 
here,  Archie — "  I  began,  trembling  between  the 
wrath  I  felt  and  the  not-too-much  wrath  I  must  ap- 
pear to  display ;  but  he  interrupted  me : 

"Well,  that's  a  knock-out!  Who'd  have 
dreamed " 

"Why  not?"  I  demanded  sharply. 

"  Oh,  I  didn't  mean  that !  "  he  made  such  haste 
to  say  that  it  was  plain  as  a  pikestaff  that  he  had 


HOLBORN  77 

meant  precisely  "  that."  "  I  only  meant,  how  sur- 
prising— how  unexpected.  I  mean " 

I  frowned.  "  Should  you  find  it  so — if  it  were 
so?" 

"Should!"  he  said,  puzzled.  ".  .  .  Isn't  it 
so,  Jeff?" 

"  No,"  I  replied ;  but  a  "  "No  "  that  so  exquisitely 
contradicted  itself  that  I  gave  myself  nothing  less 
than  admiration  for  the  performance. 

"No?"  he  echoed.  "You're  lying,  Jeff— you 
are !  "  he  hroke  out  triumphantly.  "  I  can  tell  by 
the  way  you  say  it!  So  that's  it!  Dashed  if  I 
didn't  think  there  was  something!  .  .  .  Who  is 
she,  Jeff?" 

But  that,  as  you  may  suppose,  it  was  no  part  of 
my  plan  to  tell. 

Neither  was  it  part  of  that  plan  to  enjoin  either 
secrecy  or  the  other  thing  upon  him.  That,  I 
thought  grimly,  might  quite  safely  be  left  to  take 
care  of  itself.  "  Mandrill,  my  dear ;  you  really  must 
take  a  memory  powder !..."!  seemed  to  hear 
Miss  Windus'  voice  again  over  the  bookshelves.  Oh 
yes,  if  he  would  give  currency  to  that  Zoo  nonsense 
he  could  be  trusted  not  to  keep  the  richer  joke,  of 
Jeffries  in  love,  to  himself! 

For  that  he  and  not  Evie  had  been  responsible 
for  this  pleasantry  at  the  expense  of  my  appear- 
ance I  had  concluded  by  a  much  sounder  process 


78     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

of  observation  and  reasoning  than  that  my  love-lorn 
state  predisposed  me  entirely  in  her  favour.  My 
watching,  a  failure  in  other  respects,  had  at  least 
succeeded  in  this  respect.  And  that  I  had  found  had 
not  been  without  its  barb  for  me.  You  may  remem- 
ber my  former  pathetic  gratitude  that,  while  others 
singled  me  out  for  marked  treatment,  she  alone  had 
not,  in  the  trifling  forms  and  observances  that  are 
the  gracious  outside  of  intercourse  as  distinct  from 
its  inner  truth,  differentiated  me  from  the  rest  of  the 
world.  Well,  I  had  made  a  guess  at  the  reason  for 
that.  It  was,  in  a  word,  her  upbringing.  The  aunt 
with  whom  she  lived  in  Woburn  Place  had  taught 
her  to  "  behave  nicely,"  and  so  on.  I  could  see  that 
education.  Such  maxims  as  that  one  must  not 
"  judge  by  appearances,"  that  "  handsome  is  that 
handsome  does,"  and,  generally  speaking,  the  unex- 
ceptional tradition  that  the  "  less  fortunately  cir- 
cumstanced "  have  special  claims  on  superior  gentle- 
ness and  pity,  form  almost  the  whole  of  it.  I,  it 
appeared,  was  one  of  these  "  less  fortunately  cir- 
cumstanced" ...  Of  course  nobody  was  to 
blame.  By-and-by  the  amiable  aunt  would  probably 
go  a  little  further,  and  teach  her  that  it  is  not 
enough  that  these  unimpeachable  precepts  should  be 
merely  observed,  but  that  the  thought  behind  them 
must  be  concealed  as  well.  When  you  treat  a  poor 
devil  just  as  if  he  was  anybody  else  you  must  not 


HOLBORN  79 

let  it  be  seen  that  you  do  so  from  perception  that 
he  is  not.  .  .  .  Anyway,  there  it  was,  and  it 
rather  took  the  shine  out  of  that  "  good-night,  Mr 
Jeffries"  that  had  sent  me  off  happy  to  Archie's 
rooms  on  the  evening  when  I  had  been  so  startlingly 
shaken  out  of  my  fool's  paradise. 

Thus  I  was  persuaded,  and  as  it  turned  out  quite 
rightly,  that  it  had  been  young  Merridew,  and  not 
she,  who  had  allowed  his  tongue  this  licence  both 
on  Weston's  physical  characteristics  and  my  own. 

His  cup  of  tea  was  still  on  the  floor,  and  by  this 
time  was  cold.  He  hadn't  tasted  it,  and,  his  re- 
newed congratulations  on  what  he  supposed  to  be  my 
blissful  state  of  mind  over,  was  once  more  fidgeting 
to  be  off.  But  it  was  quite  at  my  own  pleasure 
whether  I  released  him  or  not ;  I  had  the  hateful  ad- 
vantage of  my  baked  potatoes  and  my  poverty;  and 
though  he  was  getting  colder  moment  by  moment, 
being  less  accustomed  to  the  lack  of  a  fire  than  I,  I 
did  not  spare  him. 

"Yes,"  I  remarked  musingly  by-and-by,  as  if  I 
had  been  thinking  over  a  former  remark,  "  I'd  take 
that  Method  paper  quite  seriously  if  I  were  you. 
Save  up  your  little  fling  till  that's  over.  Stag-par- 
ties and  work  don't  go  together,  my  son." 

He  had  a  little  gleam  of  perspicacity.  "  What 
little  fling  ? "  he  asked.  "  .Who  said  I  was  going  to 
have  one  ?  " 


80     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

("  Carefully,  Jeffries,"  I  cautioned  myself.) 
Aloud  I  said  cheerfully,  "  My  mistake,  Archie — I'm 
out  of  the  running  in  these  things — I'm  rather  a 
Puritan  by  necessity,  you  see.  Perhaps  I  was  tak- 
ing it  rather  for  granted " 

He  chuckled.  "A  Puritan  by  necessity!  A 
Puritan  by  Miss  Whatever-her-name-is,  more  like! 
Do  at  least  tell  us  if  it's  anybody  we  know,  Jeff !  " 

But  I  ignored  the  latter  part  of  his  remark.  "  Well 
done,  Archie,"  I  applauded.  "  I'm  glad  you  see 
that  when  a  man's  got  one  woman  he's  no  need  for 
all  the  others.  Stick  to  that  and  you're  all  right." 

And  that  clinched  it.  "  Well,  you've  got  the  pull 
over  me  there,"  he  said. 

I  made  no  reply. 

You  need  not  conclude,  unless  you  wish,  that  I 
wanted  to  start  him  straight  away  to  the  devil.  I 
couldn't  have  ensured  his  arrival  at  that  destina- 
tion if  I  had.  But  I  was  prepared  to  go  half  way 
with  him  if  by  so  doing  I  could  keep  him  from  get- 
ting into  paradise  by  the  means  I  had  reserved  for 
myself.  I  was  doing  him  no  conspicuous  harm.  He 
would  have  to  rub  shoulders  with  the  world  before 
long — was  already  doing  so ;  and  I  said  no  more  to 
him — nay,  I  said  far  less — than  he  would  have  picked 
up  for  himself  in  almost  any  gathering  of  young  men 
of  his  own  age  that  he  was  likely  to  find  himself 
among.  ...  So  presently,  when  after  (how 


HOLBORN  81 

shall  I  put  it?) — after  having  tapped  it  home  that 
there  was  the  one  woman  and  also  the  others,  I  re- 
turned to  the  examination  in  Method  again,  I  was 
talking  as  easily  as  if,  his  betrayals  to  Miss  Windus 
notwithstanding,  we  had  been  the  best  friends  in  the 
world. 

"  By  the  way,  that's  another  thing  you're  lucky 
in,  my  boy,"  I  said.     "  The  exam.'s  in  the  daytime. 
I  suppose  that  doesn't  convey  anything  to  you." 
"  How  do  you  mean  ? " 

"Well,  it  means  something  to  me.  I  shall  have 
to  get  a  day  off." 

"Well?"  he  inquired. 

"  Well — it  doesn't  by  any  means  follow  that  I 
shall  get  it." 

He  stared.  "  You  don't  mean  to  say  they'd  be 
such  skunks  as  not  to  let  you  off  for  a  day !  "  he  ex- 
claimed. 

I  laughed.  "  Perhaps  they  won't  be  such  skunks," 
I  remarked. 

"Oh!"  he  cried,  outraged.     "They  couldn't!" 
He  was  as  ignorant  about  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters 
as  he  was  about  everything  else  in  life. 

Presently,  with  a  "  Brrr ! "  and  a  shiver,  he  got 
off  my  bed. 

"  Well,  I'm  off,"  he  said.  "  I  didn't  intend  to 
come  round,  and  I'm  going  back  to  swot." 

I  heaved  myself  up  from  my  chair.     "  Must  you  ? 


82     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

Well,  wait  a  moment — I'll  come  down  with  you 

"Before  I  turned  down  my  lamp,  filling  the  room 
with  the  red  and  green  again,  I  noticed  his  unr 
touched  cup  of  tea  on  the  floor.  I  made  no  remark 
on  it,  but  as  I  preceded  him  down  the  narrow  stairs 
I  found  myself  suddenly  filled  with  a  curiosity  as 
to  whether  I  guessed  rightly  what  was  passing  in  his 
mind.  I  had  made  my  shot,  and  was  as  interested 
to  know  whether  it  was  a  true  one  as  if  I  had  had  a 
bet  on  it. 

Where  the  great  public-house  lamp  shone  brightly 
through  the  landing  window  the  stairs  branched,  one 
flight  descending  to  the  side  door  by  which  we  had 
entered  and  the  other  leading  to  the  back  bar  of  the 
public-house.  It  was  as  we  reached  this  bifurcation 
that  I  found  I  had  guessed  rightly. 

"  I  say,"  he  said,  "  I'm  beastly  cold !  Come  this 
way  and  have  a  drink !  " 

I  shook  my  head. 

"  Not  here,"  I  said.  "  Not  on  my  own  premises, 
so  to  speak.  If  you  don't  mind  my  having  some- 
thing thin  I'll  come  over  the  way  with  you." 

"  Anywhere,"  he  said,  with  another  shiver. 

There  was  another  public-house  just  beyond  the 
Sarcey's  Fluid  advertisement.  We  crossed  and  en- 
tered it. 

"  Rum — hot !  "  he  called  familiarly,  peering  un- 
der the  frame  of  pivoted  glass  panes  and  flipping 


HOLBORN  83 

on  the  counter  with  a  florin  to  attract  the  barmaid's 
attention.  "  Come  along,  Flossie — hurry  up ! 
.  .  .  What's  your  poison,  Jeff  ?  " 

He  had  his  rum  hot ;  but  I  drank  nothing  stronger 
than  peppermint. 


VII 


HIS  incredible  gaucheries  apart,  I  had  no  rea- 
son for  hating  him.  One  does  not  hate  a 
youngster  seven  years  one's  junior  merely  because  he 
is  a  mass  of  inexperience  and  self-sufficiency.  Once 
again  my  hate  was  really  a  hatred  of  the  whole 
dreary  circumstances  of  my  life,  and,  when  I  saw 
this  concentrating  stormily  over  young  Merridew's 
head,  I  made  attempt  after  attempt  to  divert  it. 
I  swear  to  you  I  made  these  attempts.  I  made 
them  first  of  all  to  save  him  from  a  contest  so  un- 
equal as  one  with  my  wrath  must  be ;  and  if  I  made 
them  later  so  that  I  myself  should  not  be  merely  the 
slave  of  that  wrath,  I  still  made  them.  And  all  the 
time,  as  I  say,  so  long  as  he  did  not  stand  in  my 
way,  it  was  a  matter  of  indifference  to  me  whether 
he  took  the  upward  path  or  that  which  led  downhill 
to  perdition. 

Unfortunately  I  was  in  love,  and  no  man  in  love 
can  stand  by  the  rules  that  he  knows  ought  to  govern 
his  conduct.  Those  jealousies  I  have  spoken  of  as 
torturing  me  at  Eixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  shook  me  in 
spite  of  myself.  When  I  felt  their  approach  I  took 

care  to  give  young  Merridew  a  wide  berth;  and  I 

84 


HOLBORN  85 

confess  that  in  sometimes  letting  these  fits  have  their 
way  with  me  I  found  an  abominable  ease.  Away 
from  him,  my  heart  was  filled  with  rage  and  revil- 
ings;  but  these  very  outbreaks  enabled  me  at  other 
times  to  meet  him  with  a  smile  on  my  lips  and  a  wel- 
come in  my  eyes.  Once  I  had  got  rid  of  the  over- 
plus of  my  rage  I  could  almost  have  persuaded  my- 
self of  my  affection  for  him. 

So  I  alternated,  as  the  red  and  green  of  my  apart- 
ment alternated ;  and  perhaps  the  red  seemed  redder 
and  the  green  greener  by  the  mere  force  of  the  con- 
trast. I  continued  to  walk  home  frequently  with 
him  after  the  class,  to  share  his  supper  frequently, 
and  to  be  obliged  to  him  for  my  necessary  bath. 

I  very  soon  learned  that  in  the  matter  of  my  re- 
puted being  in  love  he  had  done  exactly  what  I  had 
intended  he  should  do — had  whispered  the  news  about 
the  college.  It  required  no  further  eavesdropping 
to  tell  me  that;  I  felt  it  in  the  altered  air.  I  saw 
the  knowledge  peering  through  the  little  scalene  tri- 
angles of  Miss  Windus'  eyes,  saw  it  in  the  looks  of 
sleepy  and  amused  curiosity  with  which  Miss  Caus- 
ton  favoured  me.  The  latter  lady,  indeed,  sometimes 
positively  alarmed  me,  for  the  glances  I  suffered 
when  I  chanced  to  enter  a  room  in  which  she  was  at 
work  held  incalculable  things,  and  I  no  longer  dared 
to  look  at  her  own  amused  and  supercilious  eyes,  her 
fascinating  hands,  or  that  foot  beneath  the  hem  of 


86     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

her  dress,  fine  and  slender  as  a  violin.  And  with 
the  least  encouragement  Miss  Windus  would,  I  knew, 
have  sought  my  company,  and,  lacking  an  admirer  of 
her  own,  would  have  eased  her  breast  to  somebody 
else's  of  all  the  things  about  love  at  large  that  she 
ached  to  say  to  somebody.  I  wondered,  seeing  them 
both,  whether  there  was  no  middle  way  with  women. 
The  whole  sex  seemed  to  be  divided  into  creatures 
(or  rather  a  creature,  for  I  set  Evie  apart)  to  be 
enskied  by  men,  and  the  other  kind,  that  a  man 
might  fly  as  he  would  fly  a  wild  animal.  And  I  am 
not  sure  even  now  that  when  these  two  things  are 
found  in  one  and  the  same  woman  they  ever  really 
shake  down  together.  They  seem  to  go  on  existing, 
independently,  unreconciled,  side  by  side. 

But  Miss  Levey  was  far  worse.  She  always 
seemed  to  me  to  crave  information,  useful  or  use- 
less, from  a  mere  acquisitiveness;  and  I  may  say 
now  that  it  was  she  who,  later,  first  roused  in  me 
the  uneasy  suspicion  that  unless  I  was  exceedingly 
careful  I  should  find  that  I  had  undertaken  more 
than  I  could  well  manage.  She  began  all  at  once 
to  show  quite  a  liking  for  my  company.  She  mislaid 
books  in  the  room  where  I  sat,  got  into  difficulties 
with  copying  presses  when  I  was  about,  and  glanced 
up  at  open  or  closed  windows  too  high  for  her  reach, 
as  if  she  felt  a  draught  or  the  lack  of  air,  it  didn't 
matter  which,  and  must  suffer  until  somebody  came 


HOLBORN  87 

to  her  help.  All  this  had  its  rise  in  the  idlest  curi- 
osity, unless,  as  I  sometimes  suspected,  she  had  made 
a  bet  that  she  would  get  out  of  me  who  this  imagin- 
ary fiancee  of  mine  was,  and  was  determined  to  win 
it.  One  day  as  I  saw  her  struggling  with  the  blind 
cords  in  one  of  the  window  bays,  and  advanced  to  her 
assistance,  she  relinquished  the  cords,  and  then,  as 
if  to  apologise  for  the  trouble  she  was  causing  me, 
said,  "  Oh,  thank  you  so  much — you  see  I'm  going 
to  a  dance  to-night,  and  have  a  slight  cold  already. 
.  .  .  You  don't  go  to  dances,  do  you,  Mr  Jeff- 
ries?" I  answered  that  I  did  not,  whereupon  she 
said  gaily,  "  Oh,  you  must  learn !  I'm  sure  you 
could  find  somebody  who  would  teach  you!  Then 
you  and  your  partner  could  join  our  set — such  fun !  " 

And  another  time  she  actually  came  to  me  with 
tickets  for  one  of  her  "  hops,"  and  pointed  out  to  me 
that  I  should  be  saving  a  shilling  by  taking  both  a 
pink  ticket  as  well  as  a  blue  one. 

But  while  these  were  the  results  of  my  whispered 
false  intelligence  on  Miss  Windus  and  Miss  Causton 
and  Miss  Levey,  the  results  on  Evie  Soames  were 
both  foreseen  and  unforeseen.  I  had  foreseen  that 
it  would  give  me  a  new  liberty  with  her;  but  I 
had  not  foreseen  that  she,  and  not  I,  would  be  the 
first  to  take  advantage  of  that  liberty.  It  came  to 
me  entirely  as  a  surprise  that  she  should  see  no 
reason  why,  if  m%  heart  was  engaged,  she  should 


88     IN  ACCOKDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

not  speak  of  it  as  a  matter  of  course  to  myself. 

This,  to  my  great  confusion,  she  did. 

It  was  in  the  small  back  room  that  we  called  the 
library,  among  the  book-shelves  and  glass-cases  of 
mimeographs  and  gelatine  copiers  and  patent  tills, 
that  she  did  so.  I  had  seen  her  talking  to  Weston 
in  the  empty  lecture-room  as  I  had  passed  through 
to  restore  a  book  to  its  place — a  new  translation  of 
"  Schmoller  on  the  Mercantile  System,"  I  remember 
it  was — and  she  had  turned  as  I  had  passed.  I  think 
she  had  been  a  little  nervous  about  the  pretty  little 
exhibition  she  intended.  It  wouldn't  surprise  me  in 
the  least  to  learn  that  she  had  actually  practised  the 
words  she  was  going  to  use,  and  I  am  quite  sure  she 
meant  to  go  through  it  creditably.  My  lady  was 
even  then  looking  forward  to  the  time  when,  on  a 
small  scale  or  a  large  one,  she  would  have  to  do  these 
things.  So  she  followed  me  into  the  library,  and, 
with  one  slender  hand  on  the  iron  ball-arm  of  the 
copying  press  under  the  gas  said  her  little  piece. 

"  Oh,  Mr  Jeffries !  .  .  .  I  hear  I  have  to 
congratulate  you !  " 

For  a  moment  I  did  not  take  her  meaning.  Then 
it  dawned  on  me,  and  I  felt  a  quick  constriction  of 
my  heart  that  was  both  bliss  and  pain. 

"Oh?  .  .  .  On— on  what?"  I  asked.  I 
couldn't  help  stammering  a  little  over  it. 

She  wore  a  brown  cloth  tailor-made  costume  and 


HOLBORN  89 

a  thick  knitted  cap  of  white  wool;  and  the  shadow 
of  this  cap  over  her  large  eyes  was  not  so  deep  but 
that  I  saw  the  almost  reproachful  look  in  them.  It 
was  almost  as  if  she  echoed  :  "  '  On  what  ?  '  Can 
such  a  wonderful  thing  have  happened  to  you  and 
you  ask  '  On  what?'" 

"  On  this  we  hear  of  your  engagement,"  she  re- 
plied, looking  down  at  her  toes.  "  It's  —  it's  true, 
isn't  it?" 

For  the  second  time  I  felt  my  facile  invention 
sitting  somewhat  less  easily  on  me.  I  stammered 
again,  while  she,  I  am  quite  sure,  misattributed  my 
embarrassment. 

"Who  told  you  that?" 

At  that  she  was  sweetly  arch. 

"  Oh,  a  little  bird,  Mr  Jeffries  !  Don't  tell  me  it 
isn't  true  —  it  would  be  almost  —  almost  like  bad 


"  Bad  luck?  "  I  repeated  foolishly. 

"  I  mean,  like  wearing  your  wedding  dress  before 
the  day,  or  something  like  that  —  congratulating  you 
too  soon,  I  mean  -  " 

By  this  time  I  had  collected  my  thoughts.  "  It 
isn't  true,"  I  said. 

Instantly  her  face  fell  adorably.  In  its  expression 
I  fancied  I  detected  both  indignation  against  her 
misinformant  and  mortification  that  her  dear  little 
attempt  at  social  competence  had  failed. 


90     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  Oil !  .  .  .  I'm  so  sorry !  "  she  murmured, 
all  dejection  and  shame  and  rich  colour.  "  Please 
forgive  me!" 

"  It  isn't  true,"  I  said,  "  that — that  I  am  actually 
engaged  to  be  married." 

Like  a  flash  she  was  all  eagerness  again.  She 
had  a  book  in  her  hand,  not  a  college  text-book 
but  a  novelette;  and  probably  the  whole  of  the  nov- 
elette was  in  her  glad  change  of  tone.  I  was  not 
exactly  engaged  to  be  married,  but  I  was  in  love, 
and  I  daresay  her  brain  was  already  a  jumble  of  sur- 
mises about  obstinate  parents,  secret  wills,  mar- 
riages de  convenance,  and  true  and  severed  young 
hearts. 

"  Oh !  "  she  said  again.  "  I'm  so — I  mean  I  hope 
I  shall  soon  be  able  to — I  mean  I  hope  I'm  not  rude 
if  I "  She  floundered,  already  out  of  her  depth. 

"  Not  at  all,"  I  said  gravely.  "  I  only  said  I  was 
not  formally  engaged.  There  are — other  reasons 
for  congratulation  after  all — — " 

"  Oh,  then  I  do !  "  she  cried  impulsively,  with  a 
grateful  look  that  I  had  helped  her  out.  "  I'm  so 
glad!" 

Then,  her  ordeal  over,  she  glanced  towards  the 
door. 

But  a  daring  impulse  seized  me.  This  was  on  a 
Friday  night,  and  I  knew  that  on  the  morrow  she 
was  going  to  Guildford. 


HOLBORN  91 

"  I  see  you're  just  leaving,"  I  said.  "  Would  it 
annoy  you  if  I  were  to  walk  a  little  way  with  you  ?  " 

Again  the  code  of  her  upbringing  banished  her 
momentary  hesitation. 

"  Unless,"  I  said,  "  you  have  already — — 

"  Oh  no !  "  she  said,  with  quick  frankness.  "  I 
only  meant  that  I  nearly  always  go  alone,  or  else 
with  Miss  Windus." 

"  I'm  sure  Miss  Windus  can  spare  you  for  once. 
One  doesn't  get  congratulated  like  this  every  day," 
I  pressed. 

She  laughed  merrily.  "  Some  of  us  don't  get  it 
at  all,"  she  said.  "  With  pleasure,  Mr  Jeffries." 

I  slapped  Schmoller  back  into  his  place  on  the 
shelf,  and  went  off,  drunk  with  bliss,  to  get  my  hat 
and  coat. 

That  night  I  walked  with  Evie  for  the  first  time 
to  Woburn  Place.  Never  had  the  Bloomsbury 
streets  seemed  so  short,  never  the  east  side  of  the 
British  Museum  so  few  paces  in  length.  I  remem- 
ber very  little  of  what  we  talked  about,  I  know  she 
spoke  of  her  visit  to  Guildford.  The  invitation,  she 
gave  me  to  understand,  was  really  to  her  aunt,  and 
it  was  to  the  subject  of  her  aunt  that  she  quickly  re- 
turned when  I  insinuated  a  mention  of  Archie's 
name.  I  insinuated  it  again  a  minute  later,  but 
after  that,  noticing  the  way  in  which  she  came  back 
to  the  aunt  again,  I  forbore. 


92     IN  ACCOEDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  But  I'm  afraid  we  can't  ask  the  Merridews  back, 
as  we  ought,"  she  said,  once  more  socially  prescient. 
"  We  only  have  rooms  in  Woburn  Place,  you  see, 
and  you  can't  very  well  ask  people  all  that  way  just 
to  rooms,  can  you  ?  " 

"  No/'  I  replied  briefly.  I  was  thinking  of  my 
own  late  hospitality  to  Archie. 

"  We  used  to  have  a  house,  of  course,  before  uncle 
died,  and  you  know  how  poky  rooms  seem  after 
that." 

"  Yes,"  I  replied,  compressing  my  lips. 

And  so  we  chatted.  I  forget  what  our  other  sub- 
jects were.  I  left  her,  with  our  first  hand-shake,  at 
her  door. 

What  that  week-end  was  to  me  I  will  not  attempt 
to  tell  you.  I  did  not  belong  to  this  earth  at  all. 
The  fact  that  actually,  in  her  person,  she  was  enjoy- 
ing herself  in  Archie's  company  at  Guildford  was 
nothing  to  me;  the  fact  that  every  fibre  of  me  was 
rapturously  tremulous  at  the  thought  of  her  was 
everything.  I  triumphed  as  if  I  already  had  her 
yielding  in  my  arms.  Archie?  ...  In  my 
possession  I  laughed.  I  even  felt  kindly  to  Archie 
— felt  towards  him  that  it  would  give  me  pleasure 
to  have  him,  by-and-by,  a  quite  frequent  visitor  at 
my  house — our  house.  ...  I  spread  the  mantle 
of  my  exaltation  over  the  draymen  and  porters  of 
the  place  where  I  dined.  Their  heavens  were  not 


HOLBORN  93 

mine,  but  if  a  man  is  full  he  is  full,  and  I  allowed 
them  sanctities  of  their  own.  My  heart  was  soft 
and  generous  to  them.  For  the  first  time  in  my  life 
I  knew  what  folk  mean  when  they  say  they  love  all 
the  world. 

The  sweet  influence  had  not  quite  left  me  when 
on  Monday  night  I  went  to  the  college  to  see  her 
again. 

She  did  not  appear  that  night.     Neither  did  he. 

It  was  "Wednesday  before  I  saw  her  again. 

I  do  not  know  what  damnable  difference  in  me 
that  absence  of  the  pair  of  them  for  a  single  even- 
ing made.  It  came  over  me  so  suddenly  that  I 
was  in  its  clutches  before  I  was  aware.  It  was  a 
significant  transformation.  Let  me  relate  it. 

I  knocked  at  the  brass  knocker  of  Archie's  ivy- 
green  door  an  hour  before  the  class  on  the  Tuesday 
night,  and  found  that  he  intended  to  work  at  home 
that  evening.  (I  only  learned  this,  however,  some 
minutes  later.)  I  had  had  a  double  reason  for 
calling  on  him  at  that  hour,  and  the  blood  comes 
hot  again  in  my  cheeks  as  I  recall  my  second  rea- 
son. I  had  recently  bought  a  new  suit  of  clothes, 
not  in  Lamb's  Conduit  Street,  but  made,  though 
cheaply  enough,  to  measure;  and  though  it  was  only 
the  beginning  of  the  week  one  of  the  payments  for 
this  suit  had  already  depleted  my  pocket  almost  to 
the  last  penny.  Since  breakfast  that  day  I  had  not 


94     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

eaten.     But  I  knew  the  hour  at  which  Archie  dined. 

So  nicely  had  I  hit  the  moment  for  my  self -in- 
vitation that  I  actually  followed  his  hot  dinner  half- 
way up  the  stairs.  It  was  only  on  the  first  land- 
ing that  the  servant  stood  aside  with  the  tray  to 
allow  me  to  precede  her.  I  knocked  at  his  door 
and  entered,  leaving  the  door  open  for  the  dinner 
of  which  I  intended  to  partake  to  follow. 

He  had  brought  a  fowl  back  with  him  from 
Guildford,  with  one  or  two  other  motherly  gifts, 
and  I  smelt  the  white  sauce  even  before  Jane  put 
the  tray  down  on  a  side  table.  Archie  was  in  his 
brown  dressing-gown,  standing  before  his  fire.  He 
had  taken  the  green  shade  from  his  lamp,  and  his 
low-ceilinged  roof-chamber  looked  exceedingly  ruddy 
and  comfortable  and  home-like. 

"  Hallo !  Good  man !  "  he  cried.  "  You're  just 
in  time — I  was  just  funking  carving — you'd  better 
be  getting  your  hand  in  for  when  you're  a  family 
man !  .  .  .  Bring  another  plate,  Jane.  .  .  . 
Well,  how's  things?" 

It  was  then  that  the  thing  happened  that  still 
has  power  to  bring  the  blood  to  my  cheeks.  It  was 
exquisitely  cruel  in  the  moment  of  its  coming. 

"  Oh,  so-so,"  I  replied  carelessly.  ..."  But 
I've  just  this  minute  swallowed  my  dinner,  thanks. 
You  go  ahead.  I'll  watch  you." 

"  Oh,  rubbish !  "  he  replied,  in  a  tone  that  hard- 


HOLBORN  95 

ened  me.  "  I'll  lay  you  haven't  had  so  much  but 
you  can  pick  a  bit  of  Surrey  fowl." 

I  damned  the  thickness  of  his  hide,  but  swal- 
lowed my  choler. 

"Keally,  thanks,"  I  said,  turning  away  to  look 
at  a  print  on  the  wall  that  I  had  seen  a  hundred 
times  before. 

Jane  hesitated.  It  was  a  long  way  up  from  the 
kitchen,  and  the  old  bell-pull  of  red  rope  by  his  fire- 
place didn't  always  ring.  "  Shall  I  bring  the  other 
plate,  Mr  Merridew  ? "  she  asked. 

• "  Yes — bring  it — he'll  change  his  mind !  " 

But  in  my  hellish  pride  I  had  now  no  intention 
whatever  of  changing  my  mind.  Twice  again  he 
pressed  me,  and  twice  I  declined,  the  second  time 
curtly ;  and  he  fell  to  himself,  while  I  sat  in  a  chair 
and  watched  him. 

"  Oh,  by  the  way,"  he  said  suddenly,  with  his 
mouth  full  of  food,  "  I'm  going  to  work  here  to- 
night. .  .  .  Sure  you  won't  have  some  pud- 
ding?" 

I  rose.  "  Oh,  well,  if  you're  not  coming  I'll  sheer 
off;  why  didn't  you  say  so?  Enjoy  your  week- 
end?" * 

"Oh,  first  rate.  But,  dash  it  all,  don't  be  in 
such  a  hurry — you're  far  too  early  yet." 

"  Oh,  I've  just  remembered  something,"  I  said, 
"  See  you  again  soon." 


96     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

And  I  waved  my  hand  and  left. 

I  did  not  go  to  the  class  either  that  night.  I 
was  raging  again,  and  trying  to  protect  that  young 
fool  from  the  injury  of  my  savage  thoughts.  I 
failed  completely.  Not  even  the  thought  that  my 
passionate  resentment  was  a  force  to  he  confined 
as  it  were  in  a  boiler,  and  only  to  be  allowed  to 
escape  by  the  way  that  would  prove  effective,  re- 
strained me  from  clenching  my  fists  and  gritting 
my  teeth  as  I  recalled  the  image  of  his  pretty  and 
ignorant  and  conceited  face;  and  I  am  afraid  I 
"  let  go "  utterly.  I  walked  by  way  of  Chancery 
Lane  and  Bouverie  Street  to  the  Embankment;  I 
crossed  Blackfriars  Bridge,  and  after  that  I  don't 
quite  know  where  I  went,  trying  to  forget  my  hun- 
ger, and  trying  to  shake  off  my  hideous  grudge 
against  the  world  that  threatened  to  crash  over  the 
head  of  the  egotistical  whipper-snapper  I  had  left. 

I  have  related  this  at  some  length  because  it  was 
the  first  time,  but  not  the  last,  that  that  devil  of 
sensitiveness  took  me  in  quite  that  way. 


yin 

IHA1>  not  exaggerated  when  I  told  Archie 
Merridew  that  I  might  find  some  difficulty  in 
obtaining  from  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  leave  of  ab- 
sence for  the  day  of  the  Method  examination. 
That  examination  was  fixed  for  a  Friday^  a  fort- 
night and  some  days  after  my  refusal  to  set  fork 
into  that  fragrantly  steaming  Surrey  fowl  of  Archie 
Merridew's,  and  this  falling  on  a  Friday  added  to 
my  difficulties. 

Or  rather  I  should  say  tHat  it  added  to  Polwhele's 
difficulties,  for  it  was  to  Polwhele  I  looked  once  more 
to  find  a  way  out  for  me.  For  Friday  was  a  wage- 
day,  and  since  I  must  have  my  eighteen  shillings  in 
order  to  live,  a  mere  covering  of  my  absence  would 
not  suffice.  The  cashier  would  have  to  be  taken  in- 
to the  arrangement. 

But  Polwhele  had  by  now  to  some  extent  got  over 
his  dread,  if  not  over  his  hatred,  of  me.  When  I 
put  the  matter  to  him  he  refused.  This  was  in  the 
street,  during  the  luncheon  hour.  The  louse  re- 
fused to  help  me,  and  turned  away. 

Exactly  fifteen  minutes  later  I  had  bearded  the 
97 


98     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

cashier  himself,  catching  him  at  the  door  as  he  was 
returning  from  his  meal. 

At  first  he  looked  at  me  as  much  as  to  say,  "  Did 
I  speak  to  you  ? "  Then,  finding  it  impossible  to 
pretend  he  didn't  know  who  I  was,  he  said,  "  What 
is  it?" 

I  told  him  what  I  wanted,  concealing  only  my 
reason  for  wanting  it;  and,  after  his  first  astonish- 
ment that  I  had  taken  the  absolutely  unprecedented 
course  of  addressing  a  request  otherwise  than 
through  the  usual  channel,  I  found  him  not  un- 
manageable. As  a  matter  of  fact,  things  were  slack, 
and  there  was  only  one  kind  of  labour  that  Rixon 
Tebb  &  Masters'  would  have  preferred  to  that  it 
had  from  the  agency  at  eighteen  shillings  a  week — • 
namely,  a  "  floating  margin  "  waiting  on  the  pave- 
ment to  be  taken  on  for  an  hour  or  two  as  it  might 
be  required.  Gayns  saw  a  chance  of  saving  a  day. 

"  You  don't  expect  to  be  paid  for  that  day,  do 
you  ? "  he  said. 

«  No,"  I  replied. 

He  thought  for  a  moment.  "  All  right,"  he  said. 
"  You  can  come  for  your  fifteen  shillings  on  Thurs- 
day night." 

And  Polwhele  set  another  mark  against  me,  that 
I  had  approached  a  superior  over  his  head. 

As  I  entered  the  Business  College  at  half-past 
ten  on  the  morning  of  the  examination  it  suddenly 


HOLBORN  99 

struck  me  that  I  had  never  been  inside  the  place  in 
the  daytime  before.  By  gaslight  it  was,  as  I  have 
said,  dingy  enough,  but  by  daylight  it  was  shabby 
in  the  extreme.  I  walked  round  the  rooms,  notic- 
ing for  the  first  time  that  the  shorthand  and  type- 
writing rooms,  which  looked  on  the  side  street  to 
the  east  of  the  block,  were  by  far  the  lightest  rooms 
on  our  top  floor,  and  that  the  library  in  which  I 
had  received  Evie's  congratulations  was  little  more 
than  a  thick  twilight,  which  the  cleaning  of  the 
single  grimy  back  window  that  looked  out  over 
yards  and  chimney-pots  would  probably  not  greatly 
have  improved.  The  room  adjoining  that,  the  old 
ledger-room,  was  not,  except  for  the  small  high 
square  of  glass  that  gave  on  the  head  of  the  stairs, 
lighted  at  all. 

They  had  made,  too,  quite  extensive  arrangements 
for  the  occasion  itself.  We  had  been  warned  that 
we  should  not  be  allowed  to  leave  the  premises  until 
the  examination  was  over,  and  as  far  as  possible 
separate  spaces  had  been  provided  for  each  of  the 
twenty-five  candidates — compartments  of  screens 
hired  for  the  day  from  some  furnisher  or  shop-fitter, 
and  open  at  the  ends  to  the  gaze  of  the  half-dozen 
perambulating  guardians  of  the  probity  of  examina- 
tions who  looked  as  if  they  too  had  been  had  in  for 
the  day  on  the  same  terms  as  the  screens.  The  con- 
trast between  the  new  fittings  and  the  old  .wall- 


100    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

papers  and  chandeliers  struck  me.  And  I  remem- 
bered that  even  now,  when  I  had  been  debited  nay 
three  shillings  to  be  present,  I  did  not  see  the  place 
in  its  normal  daytime  aspect  at  all. 

The  papers  were  to  be  distributed  at  eleven,  and 
at  a  few  minutes  before  that  hour  we  were  all  as- 
sembled. A  man  called  Mackie  and  myself  were 
the  only  two  candidates  for  the  Honours  paper,  and 
he  and  I  were  kept  well  apart — I  told  off  to  a  seat 
in  the  middle  of  the  lecture-room,  he  isolated  in  the 
typewriting-room.  Evie,  timorous  about  her  Ele- 
mentary, was  separated  from  Archie  Merridew  (who 
occupied  the  box  between  Miss  Windus  and  a  pale 
student,  Richardson)  by  the  whole  length  of  the 
general  room.  We  took  our  places;  in  all  the  rooms 
at  once  voices  were  heard  reading  some  cautionary 
form  or  other  (my  policeman  gave  me  the  most  mis- 
trustful of  glances  as  he  pronounced  the  words  "  ex- 
pelled from  the  examination-room  and  your  paper 
cancelled ") ;  the  papers  were  distributed  on  the 
stroke  of  eleven,  and  the  examination  began. 

I  need  not  trouble  you  with  what  it  was  all  about. 
The  importance  of  that  day  to  me  was  quite  uncon- 
nected with  the  paper  on  Method.  I  ought,  how- 
ever, to  say  that  the  paper  was  in  reality  two  papers, 
the  first  in  Theory  and  the  second  in  Practice,  with 
the  interval  for  lunch  dividing  the  two.  I  men- 
tion this  only  to  explain  how  it  was  we  came  to  be 


HOLBORN     '•-,:,.:.  lOX 

all  talking  together  when,  a  little  after  half -past  one, 
our  first  papers  had  been  collected  and  we  were  free 
to  unsnap  our  satchels  or  untie  our  parcels  of  lunch. 

Despite  my  reduced  income  that  week  I  had  pro- 
vided myself  with  a  sumptuous  lunch — two  kinds 
of  sausage  from  a  delicatessen  shop  in  Shafteshury 
Avenue,  a  paper  of  potato  salad,  a  roll,  butter,  some 
sort  of  chocolate  baba  or  mofca,  and  a  bottle  of 
Schweppes'  dry  ginger  ale.  That  lunch  had  cost  me 
nearly  three  shillings — but  I  intended  to  eat  only 
a  third  of  it.  The  rest  was  to  be  my  chief  suste- 
nance during  the  two  following  days.  I  was  not 
among  my  porters  and  drivers  now — oh  no!  I  was 
cutting  quite  a  dash.  Archie,  passing  with  Miss 
Windus  as  I  opened  my  black  satchel,  did  not  for- 
bear to  remark,  "  By  Jove !  doesn't  Jeffries  do  him- 
self well,  what?"  and  it  had  been  in  order  that  I 
might  be  assumed  to  "  do "  myself  equally  well 
every  day  of  my  life  that  I  had  made  my  little  dis- 
play. I  ate  my  exact  third  in  the  same  compart- 
ment I  had  written  my  examination  paper  in,  and 
then,  closing  my  bag  on  the  precious  remainder,  put 
it  under  the  seat  and  mingled  with  the  others. 

By  a  sort  of  natural  selection,  I  presently  found 
myself  in  the  middle  bow  window,  discussing  the 
questions  he  had  just  answered  with  my  only  fellow- 
candidate  in  Honours,  Mackie.  Mackie,  both  at  the 
college  and  elsewhere,  was  one  of  these  blatantly 


.  TN  A-OGOBBANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

popular  chaps,  and  I  myself  didn't  like  him.  In 
some  respects  he  was  rather  of  Archie's  kind,  but 
he  was  older,  more  knowing,  and  had  gone  further. 
He  was  a  singer  of  comic  songs  at  "  smokers,"  and  a 
frequent  looker-in  at  the  shilling  dances  at  the  Hoi- 
burn  Town  Hall  after  class.  He  was  jubilant  over 
the  ease  of  the  Theory  paper,  and  was  already  so 
confident  of  his  pass  that  he  was  cracking  jokes 
right  and  left,  as  if  a  weight  had  been  taken  off  his 
mind. 

"  It's  going  to  be  like  money  from  home  if  it's 
no  harder  than  that ! "  he  exulted  (almost  pro- 
phetically, if  what  I  said  about  the  standard  of 
modern  examinations  is  true).  "Kitty  Windus 
says  she'll  eat  her  mackintosh,  with  the  accent  on 
the  '  tosh,'  if  she  isn't  all  right  for  the  Advanced, 
and  the  Elementaries  are  as  safe  as  your  hand  in 
your  pocket!  What  ho!  Come  out  on  the  stairs 
and  have  a  Flor  de  Cabbagos." 

I  didn't  want  the  Elor  de  Cabbagos,  but  I  went 
out  on  the  top  landing  with  him.  One  or  two  others 
were  smoking  on  the  floor  below,  which  was  as  far 
as  we  were  allowed  to  stray.  A  few  steps  down 
Miss  Windus  and  Miss  Causton  were  sitting  on  the 
stairs,  as  if  they  were  sitting  out  a  dance,  and  Miss 
Causton  moved  lower  down  still  as  the  fragrance 
of  Mackie's  "Elor"  reached  her,  and  then  a  little 
way  back  again  as  she  caught  the  whiff  that  came 


HOLBORN  103 

up  the  well.     Mackie  was  talking  of  tlie  paper  again. 

"  All  that  mugging  for  a  job  you  could  do  on 
your  head !  "  he  said,  with  regret  for  the  time  he 
had  lost.  "  I  wouldn't  have  dropped  out  of  the 
billiard  handicap  if  I'd  known!  Play  billiards, 
Jeffries?  I'm  a  regular  John  Eoberts — in  my 
dreams.  Give  you  fifty  in  a  hundred  at  the  Napier 
when  teacher  says  we  can  go." 

And  he  ran  on,  with  dull  facetiousness. 

But  suddenly  he  stopped  his  rapid  flow.  He 
made  a  slight  movement  with  his  finger,  and  sjood 
listening.  I  heard  nothing  except  the  voices  lower 
down  the  stairs  and  the  general  hum  in  the  room 
we  had  just  left.  But  Mackie  did. 

"Hear  that?"  he  said. 

"What?"  I  asked. 

"Sssh!     .     .     .     ." 

I  told  you  how  the  wooden  partition  at  the  head 
of  the  stairs,  that  with  the  small  window  high  up, 
separated  the  landing  on  which  we  stood  from  the 
old  ledger-room.  The  window  was  worked  with 
cords  on  a  horizontal  pivot,  and  was  swung  partly 
open.  Whether  Mackie  heard  whatever  he  did  hear 
through  this  window  or  through  the  boards  them- 
selves I  do  not  know,  but  a  smile  came  over  his 
face. 

"  It's  that  young  devil,"  he  whispered. 

"Who?"  " 


104    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  Why,  young  Merridew.  He's  in  there  with 
somebody.  .  .  ." 

I  invite  you  to  notice  that  I  was  improving.  I 
was  not  eavesdropping  this  time — I  was  merely  let- 
ting Mackie  do  my  eavesdropping  for  me.  He 
glanced  round  to  see  whether  the  women  below  were 
watching,  and  then  set  his  ear  against  the  parti- 
tion. 

"  Yes,  it's  Merridew,"  he  chuckled.  "  Nice 
father's  hope  and  mother's  joy  that  young  man's 
getting!  I  don't  suppose  he's  gone  in  there  to  talk 
to  the  secretary  bird !  .  .  ." 

I  found  myself  suddenly  reminded  of  what  I 
had  noticed  for  the  first  time  only  an  hour  or  two 
before — that  the  room  beyond  the  partition  was 
practically  unlighted. 

Then  Mackie  dropped  again  into  the  "  bright " 
style  affected  by  the  singers  of  comic  songs  at  snaok- 
ing  concerts. 

"  Ahem — good-hevening,  ladies  and  gen'lmen ! 
How  am  I?  Very  well,  thank  me!  Ahem!  I 
will  now,  with  your  kind  permission,  endeavour  to 
entertain  you  with  a  few  of  my  well-known  in> 
personations  on  a  subject  that  will  appeal  to  all  of 
you,  no  matter  what  your  age,  sex,  condition,  vac- 
cination marks  or  the  number  of  your  dog  licence — 
London's  Lovers." 

"  Oh,  Mr  Mackie's  going  to  recite  for  us !  "     I 


HOLBORN  105 

heard  Miss  Windus'  cry  of  juvenile  delight  from 
down  the  stairs.  "  Please  be  quick,  Mr  Mackie — 
we  shall  have  to  go  in  in  ten  minutes !  " 

And  those  below  pressed  up  the  stairs  to  hear 
Mackie. 

But  I  did  not  stay  to  hear  the  "  impersonation." 
I  walked  back  into  the  general  room,  and,  with  a 
violently  throbbing  heart,  sought  the  seat  where  I 
had  written  my  examination  paper. 

Do  you  realise  what  I  had  just  seen  ?  Do  you  see 
what  had  set  my  heart  so  thumping?  If  Mackie 
was  right,  and  he  had  really  got  the  cue  for  his 
"impersonation"  from  something  that  was  going 
on  in  the  ledger-room,  young  Merridew  and  Evie 
were  alone  in  there  together. 

All  that  I  had  hitherto  known  of  apprehension 
and  despair  and  jealousy  of  Archie's  luck  and 
chances  and  juniority  was  eclipsed  by  the  emotion 
that  now  flowed  over  me  like  a  wave.  The  revela- 
tion swept  me  entirely  off  my  balance.  It  seemed 
to  me  that  once  more  I  awoke  as  if  out  of  a  dream. 
I  seemed  to  be  standing  as  it  were  a  little  way  off 
from  my  own  baseless  hopes  and  illusions  of  the 
past  weeks  and  coldly  contemplating  my  own 
egregiousness.  I  actually  gave  out  loud  a  low  laugh 
that  harrowed  myself.  What!  To  suppose  that 
all,  all  I  could  do,  would  prevent  youth  from  com- 
ing together  at  the  last! 


106    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

So  I  made  myself  a  spectacle  of  ridicule  for 
myself. 

Then,  as  the  minutes  passed,  that  which  at  first 
had  seemed  a  pure  and  perfect  whole  of  hopeless- 
ness changed  subtly  and  began  to  separate  into  parts. 
And  that  brought  such  a  change  in  me  that  I 
trembled  to  recognise  it.  The  shock  of  those  first 
moments  had  stunned  me,  but  I  was  now  coming 
out  of  my  stupor.  My  first  swift  conclusion  had 
been  wrong.  These  were  not  young  lovers  whom 
mountains  could  not  sunder.  She,  my  sleeping 
beauty,  who  had  but  now  opened  her  eyes,  no  doubt 
thought  I  was  that;  her  soul  was  over-brimming; 
and  I  remembered  her  look  of  wonder  and  reproach 
when,  after  she  had  congratulated  me  on  that  love- 
rise  that  is  the  most  wondrous  of  earthly  dawn- 
ings  I  had  given  a  puzzled  "  on  what  ? "  When 
hearts  can  no  longer  contain  that  with  which  they 
ache  to  bursting,  lucky  is  the  one  who  stands  near- 
est to  hand.  His  it  is  to  have,  for  the  lifting  of  his 
finger,  what  else  would  spill.  He  may  not  be 
athirst  for  the  draught;  a  muddier  liquor  might 
quench  his  fire  as  well;  but  this  dew  and  ichor  is 
his,  though  another  parch  for  it. 

For  I  needed  no  pointers  from  Mackie  to  Enow 
young  Archie  now.  This  was  his  ignored  and 
heaven-high  luck,  and  he  did  not  even  want  it.  If 
their  being  together  in  that  unlighted  room — their 


HOLBOKN  107 

being  together  even  as  I  sat  with  my  head  between 
my  hands  staring  blankly  at  the  yellow  deal  screen 
— if  this  meant  anything  at  all  it  meant  one  thing 
and  one  thing  only,  that  she  must  give  because  it 
was  her  nature  to  give,  and  the  cub  was  philander- 
ing with  her. 

At  that  thought  my  despair  gave  place  to  some*- 
thing  else.  It  was  eaten  up  in  the  white  flame  of 
wrath  that  flashed  like  a  brand  in  my  brain. 

"Oh!"  I  thought.  "So  that's  it,  my 
Archie?  .  .  ." 

I  need  not  tell  you  again  how  I  always  have 
made  my  angers  serviceable  to  me.  Five  minutes 
later — though  my  will  was  well-nigh  deracinated  in 
the  process — I  was  its  master  again.  It  still  strug- 
gled like  a  beast  in  my  hold,  nor  did  I  know  whence 
the  help  could  come  without  which  it  would  pres- 
ently have  me  in  its  power  again,  but  I  still  retained 
my  throttling  hold  on  it.  One  last  wild  struggle 
the  beast  made;  this  was  when  beyond  the  end  of 
my  screen-enclosed  compartment,  I  saw  them  issue, 
with  an  interval  of  half-a-minute  between  their  com- 
ing out  of  the  library  doorway.  He  was  pink  and 
triumphant;  at  her  I  forbore  to  look.  A  minute 
later  Mackie  passed  and  gave  an  infinitesimally 
small  jerk  of  his  head  and  a  wink ;  but  by  that  time 
I  was  holding  my  savage  beast  down  again. 

Then  a  bell  rang;  there  was  a  buzz  and  move- 


108    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

ment;  the  candidates  were  making  ready  again. 
Once  more  attendants  read  the  caution,  and  then 
the  second  paper  was  distributed.  Mechanically  I 
turned  over  the  gelatine-copied  leaves  that  had  been 
handed  to  me. 

But  I  pushed  them  away  again.  A  man  who  is 
engaged  as  I  still  was — a  luckless  hunter  who  has 
missed  his  shot  and  is  struggling  desperately  body 
to  body  with  his  intended  prey — has  little  time  for 
anything  but  the  business  in  hand.  True,  I  did 
draw  the  paper  to  me  again  and  tick  off  the  ques- 
tions that  would  be  productive  of  the  highest  marks, 
but  it  was  long  before  I  got  any  further.  There 
would  come  between  me  and  my  page  Archie  Merri- 
dew's  pink  and  boastful  face  as  I  had  seen  him  issue 
from  the  library  door. 

I  do  not  know  how  long  I  sat  thus. 

Draggingly  at  last  I  settled  to  work.  But  it  was 
well-nigh  hopeless.  I  came  to  myself  after  a  long 
interval  to  find  that  I  was  staring  blankly  before 
me  and  muttering  softly  to  myself.  I  had  not  written 
more  than  half-a-page.  Wearily  I  tried  again. 

The  next  external  thing  that  I  was  fully  awake 
to  was  that  from  the  typewriting-room  there  came 
the  single  "  Ting  "  of  the  small  clock  on  the  mantel- 
piece. I  started.  That  single  "  Ting "  always 
meant  one  of  two  things — one  o'clock  or  a  half -hour. 
I  had  no  watch. 


HOLBORN  109 

I  tried  for  a  moment  to  persuade  myself  that  the 
clock  had  just  struck  half-past  two. 

Then  I  heard  the  attendant's  voice:  "You  have 
one  hour  left." 

"  Good  heavens !  "  I  groaned. 

i"  drew  my  paper  to  me  again. 

For  a  time  I  was  not  conscious  of  anything  hut 
the  questions  that  must  he  answered  by  half-past 
four.  Indeed,  so  feverishly  did  I  work  that  I  did 
not  hear  the  attendants  announce  that  we  had  only 
half-an-hour  longer.  The  next  announcement  I 
heard  was  that  fifteen  minutes  only  remained. 

Swiftly  and  flurriedly  I  turned  over  what  I  had 
written.  I  was  just  half-way  through  the  paper. 

Wildly  alarmed,  I  hroke  into  rapid  shorthand — 
the  shorthand  in  which  I  am  writing  this  now.  I 
did  not  know  whether  the  shorthand  would  be  ac- 
cepted; I  only  knew  that  in  its  larger  aspect  the 
object  of  the  examination  was  to  determine  whether 
I  was  master  of  my  subject.  I  was  master  of  my 
subject.  Those  already  diluted  tests  of  capacity,  the 
questions,  dictated  their  own  replies:  I  put  on  top 
speed. 

"You  have  five  minutes  more,"  sounded  the  re- 
lentless voice. 

But  I  could  have  sworn  that  not  one  minute 
elapsed  before,  much  louder  and  more  peremptory, 
came  the  final  call : 


110    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  You  must  now  cease  writing !  " 

As  I  mingled  with  my  fellow-candidates  again 
I  heard  Mackie  crying  joyously,  "  Oh,  we  got  medals 
for  this  in  Paris ! "  But  I  passed  him  by  with- 
out a  glance.  Nor  had  I  any  desire  to  linger  about 
those  premises  my  first  sight  of  which  in  the  day- 
time had  cost  me  three  shillings  in  cash,  and  a  mur- 
derous rage  that  might  indeed  have  closed  the  gates 
of  heaven  in  my  face*  I  went  quickly  for  my  hat 
and  coat,  almost  colliding  with  Miss  Causton  as  I 
turned  a  corner  and  muttering  I  know  not  what  as 
she  shrank  back  and  gave  me  a  look  that  I  could 
hardly  reconcile  with  her  usually  ironical  and 
ruminating  eyes.  I  merely  wanted  to  get  out  of  the 
place.  .  .  . 

But  I  did  not  escape  so  quickly  but  that  I  saw 
Archie  and  Evie  following  me  down  the  stairs.  No 
doubt  they  were  going  together  to  her  aunt's  to  tea. 

A  week  later  I  learned  that  I  had  passed  with 
distinction  in  the  Theory  part  of  the  paper,  but  had 
failed  in  the  Practice  portion.  The  examiners  made 
a  joke  about  "  Paper  Number  Two,"  saying  they  had 
decided  to  hold  it  over  for  next  year's  shorthand 
examination.  Everybody  knew  whose  paper  Num- 
ber Two  was.  .  .  . 

Mackie  had  passed  in  both  portions. 


PAET  II 
WOBURN  PLACE 


SOME  time  or  other  during  the  period  of  my 
engagement  to  Miss  Windus  (an  episode  of  my 
history  I  am  now  approaching),  I  happened  to  re- 
mark on  the  pleasant  arrangement  that  had  re- 
moved many  of  the  temptations  of  London  from 
Archie  Merridew's  path  by  giving  him  a  "home 
from  home " — the  wholesome  influence  of  the 
Soames'  house  in  Woburn  Place.  My  charmer 
agreed  with  me  that  no  arrangement  could  have  been 
happier.  It  is  of  that  arrangement  that  I  must 
now  speak.  But  first  I  must  tell  you  as  much  as 
I  can  recollect  of  the  party  with  which  the  Christ- 
mas term  closed. 

Little  as  things  of  that  kind  appeal  to  me,  I  had 
been  to  that  breaking-up  party.  Why  I  had  de- 
liberately sought  this  misery  I  find  it  difficult  to 
say.  It  had  been  Miss  Levey  who,  the  very  even- 
ing before  the  result  of  the  Method  examination  had 
been  announced,  had  broached  the  matter  to  me,  and 
that  of  itself  would  doubtless  have  decided  me  had 
it  not  been  for  Miss  Causton,  who  had  come  up  just 
as  I  was  refusing. 

"  Mr  Jeffries  says  he  won't  come ! "  Miss  Levey 
113 


114    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

had  said,  turning  to  Miss  Causton,  "but  we  want 
a  few  of  the  seniors  as  guests — you  and  Mr  Mackie 
and  Mr  Weston — you're  the  lights  of  the  college, 
you  know." 

I  had  been  quite  unaware  that  my  mental  com- 
ment on  her  "  we  "  had  shown  in  my  face  (she  was 
quite  twenty-five),  but  apparently  it  had,  for  she  had 
added,  with  a  laugh  that  had  struck  me  as  contemp- 
tuous even  of  herself,  "  Oh,  I  call  myself  a  junior 
too !  "  and  had  turned  away. 

Of  course  I  ought  not  to  have  gone,  and,  after 
I  had  learned  of  my  failure  in  Method,  I  had  been 
on  the  point  of  renewing  my  refusal.  But  then 
there  had  seized  me  an  almost  mad  desire  to  see 
how  much  I  really  could  endure  with  a  smile  (Evie 
and  Archie,  of  course,  had  been  among  the  first  to 
accept).  So  the  very  thing  that  ought  to  have  kept 
me  away  had  driven  me  there.  Of  this  extreme  of 
perversity  I  am  afraid  I  must  ask  you  to  find  what 
explanation  you  can.  I  am  merely  setting  down  the 
thing  as  it  occurred. 

So  I  had  gone,  though,  to  Miss  Levey's  disap- 
pointment, sans  "  lady,"  and  had  had,  moreover,  the 
pleasure,  such  as  it  was,  of  also  disappointing  those 
who  had  expected  that  my  failure  in  Method  would 
plunge  me  into  gloom.  I  was  far  beyond  gloom. 
Mere  gloom  would  not  have  expressed  my  feelings; 
it  would  have  lacked  the  ecstasy  of  my  misery.  So 


iWOBURN  PLACE  115 

I  daresay  I  had  appeared,  not  less,  but  more  cheer- 
ful than  my  ordinary,  and  perhaps  that  was  even 
set  down  as  courage  that  was  merely  the  numbing  of 
sensibility. 

A  most  extraordinary  experience  to  me  that  party 
had  been.  On  the  occasion  of  the  Method  examina- 
tion screens  and  tables  had  had  to  be  imported,  but 
this  time  the  opposite  had  been  done,  and  all  day 
half-a-dozen  of  the  students  had  been  busy,  stacking 
desks  and  tables  away  in  the  old  ledger-room  and 
clearing  the  lecture-room  for  dancing.  The  senior 
classroom  had  been  turned  into  a  refreshment-room, 
and  an  upright  piano  had  been  got  in  and  lifted  upon 
Weston's  lecturing  dais.  Blackboards  indicated  the 
way  to  the  ladies'  cloak-room  (the  library)  and  that 
of  the  men  (the  room  with  the  washbowls),  and  by 
the  time  I  had  arrived,  at  half-past  eight,  everybody 
had  assembled.  ISTine  had  been  fixed  as  the  hour 
when  dancing  was  to  begin. 

Sisters  and  friends  had  brought  up  the  number  of 
women  to  perhaps  a  dozen,  and  Miss  Levey  had  not 
failed  to  remark  on  my  coming  alone.  Her  short 
legs  had  started  to  bring  her  to  me  almost  before  I 
had  looked  about  me. 

"  Oh,  Mr  Jeffries — then  you  haven't  brought  a 
lady  friend !  "  she  had  reproached  me.  "  I  hope 
you  understood  that  the  invite  was  for  two !  "  At 
this,  setting  my  face  into  a  rocky  smile  that  had  re- 


116    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

mained  on  it  thenceforward,  I  had  looked  at  her 
over  her  fan. 

"Oh?"  I  had  said.  "Then  it  was  my  'lady 
friend/  not  me,  you  wanted  to  see  ? " 

But  she  had  been  equal  to  me.  "Oh  no — but 
there  are  three  times  as  many  gentlemen  as  ladies, 
you  know.  Come  and  let  me  introduce  you " 

But  I  had  evaded  this,  preferring,  in  the  words 
of  Mackie,  who  had  passed  just  then,  to  "  paper  the 
wall." 

From  my  station  by  the  thrown-back  folding- 
doors  of  the  lecture-room,  with  that  carved  smile  on 
my  face  for  all  the  world  as  if  my  heart  had  been 
temporarily  atrophied,  I  had  been  able  to  look  even 
on  Evie  almost  unmoved.  The  whole  scene  had  been 
a  haggard  but  quite  painless  nightmare  to  me. 
When,  at  nine  o'clock,  the  piano  had  begun  to  play, 
I  had  watched  the  men  in  their  black  sparrow-tails 
and  white  gloves,  stooping,  posturing,  offering  arms, 
revolving,  as  if  the  picture  had  been  a  flat  repre- 
sentation, lacking  a  dimension,  the  blackboard  be- 
hind the  pianist  and  the  old  bells  like  interrogation- 
marks  above  his  head  quite  as  important  as  the  mov- 
ing figures.  And  I  had  smiled  and  smiled.  After 
all,  one  might  as  well  smile  as  not.  Once  you  had 
got  the  smile  into  its  place  it  was  just  as  easy. 
Really  it  would  have  been  the  taking  of  it  off  again 
that  would  have  required  the  mental  effort. 


WOBURN  PLACE  117 

It  was  as  I  had  stood  there  that  Miss  Causton 
had  come  up  to  me  and  asked  me  if  I  did  not  dance. 
Her  voice,  as  she  had  done  so,  had  hardly  detached 
itself  in  my  mind  from  the  noise  about  us,  and  even 
her  figure,  lending  as  it  were  its  own  life  to  her 
dress  of  oyster-grey,  had  seemed  no  less  flat  and 
diagrammatic  than  the  rest  of  the  scene.  "  No,"  I 
had  said,  and  "  No,"  she  had  repeated,  with  a  nod, 
"  getting  the  piano  up  and  down  would  be  more  your 
style,  for  it  nearly  killed  those  boys  this  after- 
noon. .  .  .  But  won't  you  let  me  teach  you  ? " 

"  I've  no  gloves." 

"  Gloves !  "  she  had  said  softly. 

And  so,  since  besides  smiling  one  may  as  well 
dance  as  not,  I  had  taken  a  dancing  lesson  from 
Miss  Causton.  But  we  had  only  gone  'twice  round 
the  room — for  which,  considering  my  weight,  I 
could  hardly  have  blamed  her,  and  then,  panting 
a  little,  she  had  proposed  a  rest.  And  in  the  very 
bay  from  which  I  had  once  overheard  her  conver- 
sation with  Miss  Windus  I  had  talked  civilities  to 
her,  still  smiling.  I  had  asked  whether  she  was 
coming  back  after  Christmas  and  had  been  told 
"  Yes,"  and  when,  by-and-by,  as  being  less  trouble 
than  thinking  of  a  new  one,  I  had  put  the  same 
question  to  Miss  Levey,  I  had  got  a  "  Yes  "  from  her 
also.  After  that  I  had  worked  that  question  really 
hard,  putting  it  at  least  once  more  to  Miss  Levey, 


118    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

and  once  to  somebody  who  was  not  at  the  college  at 
all,  after  which  I  had  found  a  new  one,  I  forget 
what,  making  two  quite  useful  social  accomplish- 
ments. Once  again  Miss  Causton  had  come  up  to 

me.  " since  you  don't  come  to  me/7  I  remember 

her  saying ;  "  I  should  like  some  coffee."  But  she 
had  barely  tasted  the  coffee  I  fetched  her — I  remem- 
ber wondering  whether  I  ought  to  take  her  to  the 
coffee  or  fetch  the  coffee  to  her — and  then,  just  in 
the  middle  of  my  third  brilliant  conversational  find, 
she  had  suddenly  got  up  and  left  me. 

And  so  on.  The  last  had  been  similarly  phan- 
tasmagoric. I  had  smiled  when  Evie  had  come 
up  and  said  reproachfully:  "You  can  dance  with 
Louie ! "  and  again  when  she  had  said :  "  I  should 
like  something  to  drink — no,  you  mustn't  fetch  it — • 
when  you're  asked  for  those  things  in  the  middle  of 
a  dance  it  means  that  somebody  wants  to  sit  out 
with  you — but,  oh  dear!  I  forgotten  that  this  was 
Archie's,  and  here  he  is!  .  .  ."  It  hadn't  hurt 
much  but  I  had  had  enough.  The  last  person  I  dis- 
tinctly remember  speaking  to  was  Miss  Levey,  who 
had  said  that  I  really  must  bring  "  somebody "  to 
the  next  social.  They  had  still  been  dancing  when 
I  left. 

Now  that  the  disaster  of  my  failure  had  befallen 
me,  a  year  must  elapse  before  I  could  make  a  second 
attempt;  and  so  it  became  quite  unnecessary  that  I 


WOBURN  PLACE  119 

should  return  to  the  college  after  the  Christinas  vaca- 
tion of  a  month.  The  faraway  autumn  would  be 
early  enough  for  that.  The  fees,  small  as  they  were, 
came  fearfully  heavy  on  me,  and  I  could  study  in 
the  Patent  Office  Library  for  nothing. 

But  I  wished  to  return  in  January.  My  many 
reasons  for  this  are  clear  to  you.  To  the  more 
obvious  of  them  I  will  only  add,  that  I  seemed  now 
to  be  doomed  to  remain  at  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters' 
for  another  year,  and,  now  that  that  strange  and 
rather  frightening  calm  of  that  night  of  the  break- 
ing-up  party  had  passed,  I  simply  could  not  face 
the  time  ahead  without  the  alleviation,  or  at  least 
the  change  of  pain,  that  the  prospect  of  seeing  Evie 
afforded. 

So  I  decided  to  continue  my  course. 

The  days  until  the  college  should  reopen  on  the 
21st  of  February  were — I  almost  said  purgatory  to 
me,  but  in  truth  they  purged  me  little.  It  was  the 
rainiest  and  muddiest  of  Christmas  weeks;  nobody 
was  out  of  doors  who  had  a  fire  to  sit  by  and  leisure 
to  sit  by  it,  and  the  streets  were  a  bobbing  of  um- 
brellas and  a  squirting  of  mud  about  the  turned- 
up  trousers  of  men  and  the  skirts  of  women  lifted  to 
their  wearers  cared  not  where.  I  tried  to  make  the 
use  of  dubbin  take  the  place  of  the  resoling  of  my 
boots,  and  in  my  chamber,  which  was  warmed  only 
by  my  oil-stove,  my  garments  never  dried.  It  was 


120    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

a  short  week  at  Eixon  Tebb  &  Masters',  we  were  paid 
short  too,  and  I  shall  never  forget  my  Christmas  din- 
ner of  that  year.  For  a  fit  of  desperation  and  im- 
potent rebellion  took  me.  I  went  for  a  change  to 
another  "  pull-up "  than  my  usual  one,  and  there 
paid  tenpence  for  a  wholly  insufficient  dinner.  I 
rebelled,  I  say.  I  brought  my  fist  down  on  the 
table,  and  out  of  sheer  recklessness  ordered  the  whole 
lot  over  again.  This  proved  too  much  for  me.  I 
couldn't  eat  half  of  it,  but  I  didn't  care.  How  I 
was  going  to  recoup  myself  for  the  double  cost  after- 
wards I  didn't  know.  If  I  had  to  have  more  money, 
I  knew  I  should  have  to  get  it  somehow,  that  was 
all. 

That  was  a  villainous  Christmas  for  me ! 

And  I  was  alone — Archie  at  Guildford,  Evie  and 
her  aunt  I  didn't  know  where,  perhaps  at  Guildford 
too,  everybody  with  homes  to  go  to  and  faces  to  talk 
to  over  a  fire.  Archie's  absence,  too,  cost  me  sev- 
eral sixpences — the  price  of  the  hot  baths  I  could 
not  very  well  ask  for  at  his  quarters  while  he  was 
away.  I  spent  my  evenings  in  the  Patent  Office 
Library,  where  it  was  warm. 

I  was  glad  when  Christmas  was  over.  I  felt 
somehow  that  I  was  not  missing  quite  so  much. 

Then  those  who  had  been  away  for  a  holiday 
came  back;  the  second  and  third  weeks  of  January- 
passed ;  and  on  the  twenty-first,  a  Monday,  I  went  to 


WOBURN  PLACE  121 

the  college  again,  as  piteously  joyful  as  if  I  had 
been  an  outcast  returning  to  open  and  welcoming 
arms  again. 

There  were  changes  at  the  college.  New  students 
had  come,  several  of  the  old  ones  had  left,  among 
them  Mackie,  whose  course  was  finished,  and  we  had 
a  new  "  professor,"  who,  it  was  said,  was  to  start 
an  advertisement- writing  class.  But  the  biggest  gap 
seemed  to  be  left  by  Miss  Levey  and  Miss  Causton, 
neither  of  whom,  in  spite  of  their  answers  to  my 
question  at  the  breaking-up  party,  had  returned. 
Miss  Levey,  indeed  was  not  returning;  she  had  got 
a  job;  and  I  do  not  conceal  that  this  was  a  small 
relief  to  me.  It  put  an  end  to  the  hints  and  guess- 
ings  and  pertinacities  that  might  still  further  have 
embarrassed  my  not  very  clearly  explained  situa- 
tion. But  Miss  Causton,  I  gathered,  had  merely 
not  come  back  yet.  As  it  turned  out  later,  she  did 
not  come  back.  But  nobody  knew  yet.  So,  until 
she  should  do  so,  Evie  and  Miss  Windus  remained 
our  only  two  woman  students. 

It  is  plain  that  I  had  had  to  think  out  a  plausible 
reason  for  my  own  return.  I  neither  wished,  nor 
would  it  have  been  credible  of  me,  to  be  regarded 
as  one  of  those  high-and-dry  relics  (every  college 
and  school  has  them)  who  wear  on  to  middle  age 
seeing  whole  generations  of  juniors  out,  and  be- 
come pathetic  "  institutions "  merely  because  they 


122    IN  "ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

had  not  initiative  to  stop  doing  what  they  have  once 
hegun.  So  I  had  hit  on  an  explanation  of  my  re- 
appearance that,  as  it  subsequently  turned  out,  cut 
two  ways.  In  one  of  these  ways  it  proved  magnifi- 
cently sufficient  for  me;  in  the  other  it  proved  in- 
adequate with  an  inadequacy  that  I  only  partly  recti- 
fied when  I  became  engaged  to  Miss  Windus.  In  a 
word,  I  had  had  an  idea. 

My  idea  was  this: 

Starting  from  the  old  "  Method  "  course  (which, 
despite  my  failure,  I  knew  hack  and  forth  and  in- 
side out),  I  had  begun  to  evolve  for  myself  a  whole 
new  course  of  private  study.  Much  of  this,  I  an- 
ticipated, I  should  be  able  to  pursue  at  the  college; 
for  the  rest  the  British  Museum  and  the  Patent 
Office  Library  would  serve.  The  germ  of  my  notion 
lay  (or  at  least  began)  in  certain  questions  that  bore 
on  the  consolidation  of  Commercial  Distribution; 
and  I  fancied,  rightly  as  it  turned  out,  that  my  idea 
was  in  harmony  with  the  broader  developments  of 
the  day.  More  than  that  I  need  not  say.  All  that 
concerns  this  story  is  that  my  new  inspiration 
landed  me  straightway  in  a  dilemma.  On  the  one 
hand,  the  newness  of  the  idea  proved  to  be  the 
foundation  of  my  fortune,  on  the  other,  because  of 
its  very  newness,  and  because  it  surpassed  the  terms 
of  the  then  known,  it  appeared  to  those  who  wanted 
to  know  "  what  Jeffries  was  about,"  a  subterfuge  and 


.WOBURN  PLACE  123 

a  blind  for  something  else.  In  a  small  sense,  as 
you  are  aware,  it  was  that;  in  a  larger  one  it  em- 
phatically was  not. 

It  is  odd  what  difference  a  RTew  Year  makes  in 
such  colleges  as  ours.  The  influx  of  new  students 
always  drives  the  older  ones  more  closely  together, 
so  that  a  person  with  whom  the  previous  term  you 
had  little  more  than  a  nodding  acquaintance  be- 
comes, when  you  meet  again,  almost  an  old  friend. 
You  have  memories  and  associations  in  common  that 
the  new-comers  know  nothing  about,  and  quasi- 
amicable  rearrangements  are  made.  I  may  say  at 
once  that  it  was  not  this  that  finally  drove  me 
into  Miss  Windus's  arms,  but  it  helped  in  the  early 
stages  by  breaking  down  other  resistances,  and 
so  made  our  extraordinary  subsequent  relation  pos- 
sible. 

Evie  had  told  me,  on  the  night  when  I  had  first 
walked  home  with  her  to  Woburn  Place,  that  she 
usually  went  home  either  alone  or  else  with  Miss 
Windus,  who  lived  in  Percy  Street,  Tottenham 
Court  Road;  and  while  I,  of  course,  had  gone  no 
farther  than  the  gate,  Miss  Windus,  I  knew,  had 
on  more  than  one  occasion  gone  in  to  supper.  In 
the  new  order  of  things  (which  included  Archie's 
"home  from  home")  the  three  of  them  not  infre- 
quently went  to  Woburn  Place  together,  and  I  be- 
gan to  see  his  light  near  the  Foundling  Hospital 


124    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

more  and  more  rarely  as  I  passed.  Of  course  it 
didn't  at  all  follow  that  because  he  was  not  in  his 
own  quarters  he  was  at  Woburn  Place;  I  knew  for 
a  fact  that  very  often  he  was  not;  and  I  learned 
from  Mackie,  whom  I  ran  into  one  evening  as  I 
was  returning  from  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters',  and  to 
whom  I  forced  myself  to  talk,  that  on  at  least  one 
recent  occasion  Master  Archie  had  been  seen  flying 
a  none-too-steadily-balanced  kite  in  the  neighbour- 
hood of  Leicester  Square.  The  "  home  from  home  " 
was  a  capital  one  from  the  point  of  view  of  Mrs. 
Merridew,  no  doubt;  but  from  that  of  Miss  Soames 
the  aunt,  into  whose  house,  whether  she  knew  it  or 
not,  some  whiff  at  least  of  another  atmosphere  was 
being  brought,  the  thing  seemed  very  open  indeed 
to  question. 

Evie,  I  could  see  now,  was  lost  in  love  of  him; 
and  I  sometimes  wondered  whether  I  was  not  be- 
coming hopelessly  one-idea-ridden  to  suppose  that 
it  could  all  possibly  end  in  any  but  the  plain  and 
obvious  way — by  her  marriage  to  him.  Changes 
that  I  shall  speak  of  presently  were  taking  place 
quickly  in  myself,  and  perhaps  it  was  the  first  sign 
of  them  that  sometimes,  when  I  found  myself  utterly 
spent  and  broken,  melodramatic  magnanimities  rose 
in  my  brain.  In  these  moments  I  was  tempted  to 
throw  up  the  struggle,  to  take  myself  off  somewhere, 
and  to  leave  them  to  arrange  matters  as  they  would. 


WOBURN  PLACE  125 

I  wonder — I  wonder! — whether  I  should  have  had 
the  strength  to  do  it ! 

And  I  wonder  too  whether,  had  I  done  it,  it  would 
have  heen  "  strength "  at  all !  I  hardly  think  it 
would.  I  will  not  generalise  about  slack  young 
men  and  blind  and  innocent  girls;  I  am  not  con- 
cerned with  collective  morals;  but  I  was  concerned 
with  the  given  case,  and  already  saw  how  things 
would  almost  inevitably  turn  out.  Archie,  after 
the  manner  of  his  kind,  would  sandwich  in  his  visits 
to  Woburn  Place  with  more  suspect  pleasures; 
presently  there  would  come  some  accident  of  de- 
tection, or  there  would  not;  if  there  did  he  would 
make  a  more  or  less  (probably  less)  clean  breast  of 
it,  and  if  there  did  not  it  would  become  a  question 
of  how  far  he  would  go  with  Evie.  At  that  also  I 
could  make  a  guess.  A  "  home  from  home,"  is  not 
quite  what  it  seems  when  the  home  contains  a  young 
creature  who  follows  the  befriended  young  man  about 
with  soft  and  adoring  eyes;  parents  and  aunts  no- 
tice these  things ;  one  day  something  would  happen ; 
and  Archie,  who  never  took  any  other  line,  would 
take  the  line  of  least  resistance  and,  seeing  that  it 
was  expected  of  him,  become  formally  engaged  to 
her. 

And  then  what  ?     Ah,  I  foresaw  that  too ! 

She  would  be,  as  the  expression  goes,  "  no  worse  " 
for  him.  For  that  also  he  lacked  the  courage.  He 


126    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

would  sloven  himself  and  her  into  a  love  that  would 
soon  prove  irksome  to  him,  a  bitterness  to  her,  and 
pure  only  on  a  technicality.  I  knew  his  breed; 
To  the  best  of  them  Woburn  Place  is  Woburn 
Place,  and  Leicester  Square  Leicester  Square;  and 
to  the  worst  of  them  these  two  things  quickly  in- 
terpenetrate and  weld.  And  what  would  that  mean 
for  her?  I  looked  at  my  love;  I  looked  about  me 
at  other  sad  and  disillusioned  women  who  have  sur- 
vived their  fair  dreams  as  examples  of  the  way  in 
which  this  love-slovening  actually  works  out;  and  I 
shuddered. 

No,  a  magnanimous  removal  of  myself  would  not 
have  been  "  strength  "  at  all. 

Yet  if  you  think  I  became  engaged  to  Miss 
Windus  merely  that  I  might  have  a  pair  of  eyes 
frequently  in  Woburn  Place,  there  you  are  wrong 
again.  I  became  engaged  to  her  because  I  had  no 
choice.  The  contributory  causes  were  several. 
Among  the  earlier  of  them  had  been  a  conversation 
I  had  had  with  Archie  Merridew  a  week  before  the 
examination  in  Method. 

After  I  had  been  at  pains  to  give  out  the  infor- 
mation that  I  was  engaged  as  it  were  at  large  and 
without  further  particularity,  I  had  begun,  as  you 
have  already  guessed,  to  be  the  victim  of  my  own 
ingenuity.  Our  committances  have  this  way  of  tak- 
ing matters  into  their  own  hands.  I  had  quickly 


iWOBURN  PLACE  127 

found  it  impossible  to  be  thus  unspecifically  be- 
trothed. Too  many  questions  had  instantly  sprung 
up,  and  Archie,  if  not  Miss  Levey,  had  known  too 
much  about  the  circumstances  of  my  life. 

At  first  I  had  tried  to  fob  him  off  by  speaking  of 
"  some  girl  in  the  City,"  but  that  had  been  useless. 
If  that  was  so,  he  had  wanted  to  know  (probably 
having  gossipped  it  all  over  with  Miss  Levey),  why 
did  I  never  see  her  in  the  evenings,  and  why  was  I 
so  often  at  liberty  on  Saturday  afternoons  and  Sun- 
days? I  had  protested,  I  had  made  jokes.  How, 
I  had  demanded,  did  lie  know  where  I  passed  my 
spare  time  ?  .  .  .  Well,  he  knew  (he  had  re- 
torted) where  I  spent  five  evenings  out  of  the  seven ! 

Miss  Levey,  you  see,  had  started  him,  and  it 
amused  him  to  go  on. 

And  so  his  intrusiveness  had  begun  to  narrow  me 
down  to  the  college  itself. 

This  had  given  me  the  choice  of  just  two  inamo- 
rata— Miss  Causton  and  Miss  Windus  (for  I  still 
supposed  that  Miss  Causton  might  walk  into  the 
college  as  usual  any  evening).  To  the  latter  lady 
I  was  at  that  time  exceedingly  averse;  and  on  the 
night  of  this  conversation  of  which  I  speak,  after 
Archie  had  been  almost  beyond  endurance  jestingly 
importunate,  I  had  all  but  declared  myself  point 
blank  for  the  absent  Miss  Causton.  (The  conversa- 
tion had  taken  place  in  his  rooms.) 


128    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  The  question  is,  Archie,"  I  said  gravely,  look- 
ing at  him  with  sharp  doubt  in  my  eyes,  "can  I 
trust  you?  I  suspect  you've  already  set  something 
going,  you  know." 

He  had  coloured  a  little.  A  mere  honourable  un- 
derstanding was  never  in  the  least  binding  on  him, 
and  I  was  never  quite  sure  to  what  extent  the  exac- 
tion of  a  definite  promise  would  be  so. 

"Oh,  dash  it  all,  Jeff!"  he  had  scoffed  rather 
awkwardly,  "  anybody' d  think  you  were  ashamed  of 
it!  All  I  said  was  quite  harmless — really " 

"  I  know,"  I  had  commented,  "meaning  no  harm. 
Nine-tenths  of  the  harm  in  the  world's  done  that 
way.  I  don't  know  that  I  don't  prefer  the  man  who 
means  harm;  at  least  he  knows  what  he's 
doing.  .  .  .  But  why  are  you  so  curious  about 
it  all?" 

His  curiosity,  I  knew,  was  nothing  more  or  less 
than  a  slack  indulgence  of  his  desire  to  hear  a  secret. 
He  had  too  Miss  Levey's  racial  gift  of  turning  these 
things  to  account.  But  he  had  put  it  rather  differ- 
ently. 

"  Oh,  just  friendly  interest,"  he  had  replied, 
slapping  his  jacket  pocket.  "  Where  did  I  put  my 
cigarette  case?  .  .  .  We  are  friends,  aren't 
we?" 

"  Rather  less  so  when  you  go  chattering  about 


•WOBURN  PLACE  129 

"  Sorry,  old  man,"  he  had  replied  contritely, 
though  his  contrition  had  heen  less  for  his  blabbing 
than  that  I  apparently  had  taken  it  amiss.  "  I 
didn't  think — you  didn't  tell  me  not — it  slipped 
out " 

"  Well,  well — no  great  harm's  done.  But  if  I 
were  you. — "  if  I  had  hesitated  it  was  merely  for 
a  private  and  subtle  relish  " — I'd  take  a  mem- 
ory powder,  to  use  an  expression  of  Miss  Win- 
dus's." 

(You  will  remember  how  I  had  come  to  overhear 
that  expression,  and  you  may  see,  by  turning  back, 
the  precise  context  of  the  allusion.) 

Archie  had  been  sitting  in  his  favourite  atti- 
tude, with  his  stockinged  feet  against  the  pilaster 
of  the  fireplace.  He  had  twinkled  again. 

"  I  don't  think  it  can  be  Miss  Windus,"  he  had 
chuckled  again.  "  Anybody  can  see  you  can't  stand 
her." 

"  Oh  ?     Sorry  I've  allowed  that  to  appear." 

"And  the  college  isn't  exactly  swarming  with 
girls,"  he  had  continued. 

I  had  told  him  that  he  was  dragging  the  college 
in  entirely  on  his  own  responsibility. 

"  Oh  no ! "  he  had  said  promptly,  with  a  far  too 
cunning  glance  at  me.  "  You  don't  put  me  off  like 
that,  old  boy!  I've  got  you  down  to  that,  and  I'm 
going  to  hold  you  to  it!  Serve  you  right  for  your 


130    IN  ACCOKDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

dashed  secretiveness !  So  if  it  isn't  Miss  Windus, 
and  it  isn't  Miss  Soames " 

At  that  I  had  been  able  quite  calmly  to  jest.  I 
had  fetched  up  a  laugh. 

"  Steady  a  minute,"  I  had  said.  "  If  you're 
really  bent  on  going  into  the  Sherlock  Holmes  busi- 
ness you'll  have  to  do  it  properly,  you  know — give 
reasons  for  your  eliminations.  Accuracy's  every- 
thing. Let's  have  your  reason  for  ruling  Miss 
Soames  out." 

"  Good  old  Jeff,"  he  had  remarked,  laughing ; 
"  accurate  even  in  his  jokes !  Well,  say  Evie's  a 
young  twenty,  and  you're  a  damned  experienced  old 
thirty — how  will  that  do  ?  " 

I  believe,  taken  with  all  the  rest,  that  it  had 
seemed  to  him  perfectly  conclusive. 

"  That's  better,"  I  had  approved.  "  I  only  meant 
that  if  you're  going  to  be  methodical  you  must  be 
methodical,  that's  all.  Good  mental  training  for 
you,  my  boy." 

"  So  it  is,"  he  had  agreed,  with  the  forthcoming 
examination  in  his  mind.  "  I  say — we'll  have  a 
shorthand  speed-test  presently — but  first  I'm  going 
to  drag  this  out  of  you.  .  .  ." 

And  by-and-by  I  had  all  but  made  the  confession 
that  it  was  Miss  Causton  whom  I  adored  from  a  dis- 
tance and  hesitated  to  approach. 

Another  contributory  source  to  this  oddest  freak 


WOBURN  PLACE  131 

of  my  life  was  the  terms  on  which  I  had  returned 
to  the  college.  That  wide  and  unexpected  develop- 
ment of  my  new  studies  was  no  explanation  to  any- 
body but  myself;  I  had  confessed  myself,  through 
Archie,  to  be  in  love;  and  the  more  closely  I  ap- 
plied myself  to  my  mysterious  work  the  less  mys- 
terious did  my  whole  conduct  appear.  Yet  on  the 
whole,  even  if  Miss  Causton  had  returned  at  once, 
I  might  at  the  last  have  feared  the  hazard  with  one 
at  once  so  suspiciously  open  and  problematically 
deep  as  she;  and  there  was  no  allowing  matters  to 
remain  as  they  were.  There  was  only  Miss  Windus 
for  it. 

You  see  the  mess  I  had  landed  myself  in. 

Yet  my  unhappiness  in  all  this  was  only  a  part 
of  a  general  change  that  was  quickly  leavening  me 
throughout.  It  was  a  change  altogether  for  the  bet- 
ter. I  was  sick,  sick  of  shifts  and  tricks 
and  meannesses.  I  was  no  less  sick  of  them  in  my- 
self than  I  was  when  I  encountered  them  in  the 
Sutts  and  Polwheles  among  whom  my  life  was 
passed.  I  panted  for  a  clearer  air  and  a  more 
spacious  prospect;  I  panted  for  these  things  because 
Evie  had  loosened  the  band  that  had  confined  the 
wings  of  my  own  spirit.  And  with  my  own  spirit 
thus  freed,  I  would  find  a  way  to  escape  from  the 
cage  of  my  circumstances.  Once  I  had  done  with 
that  old  life  I  would  have  done  with,  it  for  ever. 


132    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

And,  strange  as  it  may  seem,  it  was  because  hope 
was  at  last  greyly  and  tardily  dawning  for  me  that 
I  entered  into  my  last  despicable  tortuousness  with 
Kitty  Windus. 


II 


FOE,  as  I  got  deeper  into  my  studies  I  began  to 
see  in  it  nothing  less  than  the  finger  of  Provi- 
dence that  I  had  failed  in  the  second  part  of  the  ex- 
amination in  Method.  That  frustration  altered  the 
whole  course  of  my  life.  I  am,  of  course,  speaking 
in  the  light  of  subsequent  events,  but  I  see  now 
what  a  mere  pass  would  have  meant — a  sort  of  suc- 
cess no  doubt — but  a  success  in  a  narrow  and  short- 
reaching  attempt. 

Up  to  that  time  my  plan  had  been  to  qualify  my- 
self by  means  of  certificates,  to  find  a  billet  else- 
where, and  then,  with  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  rec- 
ommendation of  steadiness  and  sobriety,  really  to 
begin  in  some  firm  where  promotion  was  possible 
otherwise  than  by  our  bottle-neck  of  a  junior  clerk- 
ship. 1 1  had  actually  had  the  choice  of  no  less  than 
two  such  firms,  and  had  been  already  wondering 
what  I  should  do  with  my  extra  twelve  shillings  a 
week — for  I  should  have  begun  at  thirty  shillings. 

And  then  I  had  failed. 

Well,  heaven  be  thanked  for  it.  In  that  failure 
I  sounded,  for  the  last  time — but  no;  for  the  last 

time  but  one — the  bass-string  of  my  poverty. 

133 


134    IN  ACCOEDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

For  now,  as  I  saw  my  new  work  gradually  un- 
folding, it  sometimes  so  excited  me  that  I  could 
hear  my  own  heart  thumping  in  my  breast.  Do 
you  know  that  feeling — that  in  your  brain  there  is 
already  born,  and  growing  apace,  an  idea  that  you 
do  not  believe  to  be  guessed  at  by  any  creature  in 
the  world  except  yourself  ?  As  a  matter  of  fact 
I  now  know  that  my  idea  was  being  simultaneously 
worked  upon  elsewhere.  Sir  Julius  (then  "  Judy  ") 
Pepper  was  pegging  away  at  it  in  his  back  room 
in  Endsleigh  Gardens,  hardly  a  mile  from  where  I 
brooded  over  it  myself;  and  if  you  have  never  heard 
of  the  association  of  Jeffries  and  Pepper  you  know 
very  little  about  these  things.  Still,  all  was  in 
darkness  then  save  for  that  single  ray  far  ahead  that 
seemed  to  indicate  a  way  out;  and  even  now  I  have 
only  just  begun  my  life's  work — the  keying  up  to 
concert  pitch  of  certain  branches  of  commercial  dis- 
tribution that,  by  the  time  I  and  my  successors  have 
finished,  will  make  men  wonder  how  such  a 
phenomenon  as,  say,  the  railway  strike  of  last  year 
could  ever  have  been  possible. 

!N"or  was  this  deepest  peace  that  the  man  of  ac- 
tion knows — his  certainty  about  what  his  task  in  the 
world  must  be — the  whole  of  my  spirit's  unexpected 
re-birth.  This  held  out  the  promise  of  material — 
and  shall  I  say  "  ethical  ?  " — well-being ;  and  my 
eyes  were  now  opened  to  more  than  that.  I  hesitate 


.WOBURN  PLACE  135 

to  call  this  new  thing  "  religion."  I  would  rather 
define  it  as  the  clear  and  immutable  knowledge  that 
all  things  do  work  together  to  an  end,  good,  bad  or 
morally  unconnoted.  It  was  a  perception  of  powers 
and  forces,  not  at  variance,  but  working  in  harmony 
towards  some  cosmic  consummation.  I  don't  think 
that  is  religion.  I  don't  think  it  would  save  a  soul. 
But  it  not  only  saved,  but  made  altogether  its  own, 
my  reason.  I  believed  in  the  power  and  divinity 
of  a  thing,  if  not  in  those  of  a  Being.  And  I  be- 
lieve that  I  should  have  got  further  even  than  that. 

And  if  it  be  true  that  we  treat  the  world  as  we 
are  treated  by  it,  this  changed  my  attitude  to  all 
with  whom  I  came  into  contact.  I  am  not  thinking 
now  of  Kitty  Windus,  for  she,  poor  soul,  was  but  an 
episode,  though  one  I  have  found  is  hard  enough 
to  make  away  with.  I  am  thinking  of  Sutt,  of 
Polwhele,  of  the  proprietor  of  my  public-house,  of 
the  drivers  and  porters  of  my  restaurant,  of  the  men 
and  women,  seen  and  to  be  seen  no  more,  who  passed 
me  in  the  streets.  And  I  am  thinking  of  Evie 
Soames. 

For  it  was  side  by  side  with  her  sweetness  that 
I  conceived  all  this  authority  and  strength  and  vis- 
ion to  exist.  It  was  all,  I  knew  not  how,  hers — hers 
and  mine.  I  could  not  successfully  resolve  a  prob- 
lem nor  work  out  an  equation  but  something  within 
me  cried,  "  That  is  ours,  my  love ! — something 


136    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

seized  from  the  limbo  of  things-not-known-yet,  for 
you,  dear,  and  for  me ! "  I  could  now  even  bear 
to  work  away  from  her,  in  another  room  of  the 
college,  among  the  files  of  the  Patent  Office,  at  my 
own  place.  When  her  face  rose,  as  it  ever  did,  be- 
tween me  and  my  paper  or  page,  I  knew  peace  now, 
not  jealousy.  Had  I  put  into  words  the  thoughts 
that  then  filled  me  those  words  would  have  been, 
"Yes,  my  own — you  see  what  I'm  doing — it  is  for 
us,  and  it  won't  be  long — go  away,  sweetheart,  but 
not  very  far."  And  so  I  dreamed  harder  and 
worked  harder  than  I  have  ever  done  in  my  life; 
and  both  came  easily  to  me,  because  I  had  at  last 
clearly  seen  my  goal. 

Yet  you  are  not  to  suppose  that  I  was  not  un- 
winkingly  wakeful  too.  This  was  my  inner  life,  and 
it  informed,  but  did  not  abate,  the  vigilance  of  my 
outer  one.  I  think  that  three  times  out  of  four  I 
knew  (at  first  at  any  rate)  when  Archie  had  been 
to  Woburn  Place,  and  perhaps  twice  out  of  four 
when  he  had  sought  a  lower  pleasure  elsewhere.  It 
would  take  too  long  to  tell  you  how  I  ascertained  all 
this.  I  did  so  under  a  mask  of  casualness  that  prac- 
tice and  my  new-born  hope  had  now  made  quite 
easy. 

And  so  I  come  to  my  acceptance  by  Kitty  Windus. 

Espionage  upon  Woburn  Place  was  only  a  part, 
and  by  far  the  lesser  part,  of  it.  I  had  my  impos- 


LWOBURN  PLACE  137 

sible  position  to  explain.  And  not  only  had  I  to 
explain  it,  but  my  original  lie  had  left  me  only  one 
other  way  of  explaining  it — the  giving  up  of  Evie 
once  for  all.  That  I  could  have  more  easily  done 
months  back  than  I  could  now  that  hope  had  brought 
her  so  (I  speak  comparatively)  tantalisingly  near. 
I  admit  that  the  chance  that  I  might  be  introduced 
at  Woburn  Place  as  Miss  Windus's  fiancee  did  weigh, 
and  horribly.  I  no  longer  hated  her.  I  pitied  her. 
I  do  not  mean  that  this  pity  was  in  the  least  degree 
akin  to  love  in  that  word's  sense  as  between  man 
and  woman;  but  by  salving  a  little  my  self -content 
it  did,  practically,  help  me  to  carry  the  thing  out. 
But  I  swear,  however  much  I  may  appear  to  put 
myself  upon  the  defensive  in  doing  so,  that  of  itself 
the  prospect  of  Woburn  Place  would  not  have 
swayed  me. 

I  have  not  the  heart  to  remember  the  earlier 
stages  of  my  duplicity.  Too  many  crawling  things 
lie  beneath  that  stone  of  my  life  for  me  to  wish  to 
turn  it  over.  Let  me  summarise  by  saying  that,  by 
a  slow  and  nicely  calculated  relaxing  of  my  stiff- 
ness, and  a  gradual  and  lingering  and  gratuitous  pro- 
longation ever  and  again  of  certain  opportunities  of 
intercourse,  I  had,  by  the  beginning  of  March,  so 
counterbalanced  my  former  aversion  that,  in  a  word, 
anything  might  happen,  and  at  any  moment. 

Poor,  lonely,  starved  spinster  heart!     I  have  far 


138    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

more  ruth  for  what  I  did  to  you  than  for  what  I 
did  to  another ! 

But  let  me,  before  I  go  on,  see  whether  there  was 
anything  during  the  months  of  January  and  Feb- 
ruary that  I  may  not  omit.  .  .  .  !No,  I  think 
there  is  little.  Miss  Causton  still  remained  away; 
I  pursued  my  new  investigations;  that  segregation 
of  newness  of  the  first-year  students  relaxed  a  little, 
but  without  affecting  that  slight  unconscious  com- 
ing together  of  the  older  ones  that  it  had  brought 
about;  and  I  think  Archie  Merridew  divided  his 
time  between  Woburn  Place  and  Leicester  Square 
pretty  equally.  I  think  that  is  all.  I  pass  on. 

It  was  in  Lincoln's  Inn  Fields  that  I  entered  into 
a  pledge  with  Kitty  Windus  that  I  had  no  intention 
of  ever  redeeming.  I  had  not  thought  when  I  had 
left  the  college  that  night  that  it  would  come  so 
quickly.  I  had  planned  a  long  walk,  and,  passing 
through  Great  Turnstile,  had  come  upon  Miss  Win- 
dus looking  into  the  window  of  an  antique  shop.  I 
had  stopped  and  gazed  with  her,  and  then,  presently 
moving  away,  we  had  passed  together  into  the  square. 

She  told  me  afterwards  that  she  had  been  merely 
aimlessly  wandering,  having  been  to  Woburn  Place 
the  evening  before  and  fearing  to  weary  her  wel- 
come there  by  going  again  the  next  night ;  but  I  did 
not  know  this  then.  Therefore,  when  presently  she 
stopped  at  the  corner  where  the  street  leading  to 


WOBUBN  PLACE  139 

Kingsway  now  is  and  said,  "  Well,  I  think  I'll  go 
back,"  I  was  a  little  surprised.  Then  I  understood 
and  laughed. 

"  I'm  so  sorry,"  I  said,  "  I  thought  this  was  your 
way.  I  don't  know  that  it's  particularly  mine — 
I  was  only  taking  a  stroll — so  if  you  don't  mind  I'll 
walk  back  with  you." 

Thereupon  we  turned  back  into  the  Fields. 

It  was  this  mutually  made  discovery  that  neither 
of  us  was  pressed  for  time  that  brought  simulta- 
neously into  our  minds  some  slight  self-conscious- 
ness that  for  the  first  time  in  our  lives  we  should  be 
thus  killing  an  hour  in  one  another's  company.  Her 
own  embarrassment  presently  gave  expression  to 
this. 

"  How  nice,"  she  said,  after  we  had  walked  half 
the  length  of  the  central  garden  railings  in  silence, 
"  to  feel  sometimes  that  you  haven't  got  to  talk 
if  you  don't  want  to !  " 

The  remark,  commonplace  as  it  was,  gave  me  a 
new  glimpse  of  her.  I  knew  that  she  read  a  better 
class  of  novel  than  my  Evie,  and  with  the  results 
you  might  suppose.  I  don't  seriously  believe  that 
Evie's  "  scions  of  noble  blood  "  and  the  rest  of  her 
novelette  paraphernalia  had  any  point  of  contact 
with  real  life  for  her,  but  Miss  Windus  carried  over 
the  triteness  she  got  from  her  reading  into  her 
thought  and  speech.  Therefore,  since  I  myself, 


140    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

though  no  eloquent  speaker,  believe  that  tongues  were 
made  to  talk  with,  I  again  laughed  a  little. 

"  Yes,"  I  replied,  "  provided  always  that  you 
aren't  silent  merely  because  you've  nothing  to  say." 

I  think  this  penetration,  such  as  it  was,  struck 
her  with  quite  remarkable  force;  and,  as  the  novels 
provided  no  reply  to  it,  she  was  again  silent  for  a 
time.  We  were  approaching  the  corner  of  Great 
Turnstile  again,  but  I  don't  think  she  noticed  it. 
We  turned  down  by  Stone  Buildings  and  began  to 
complete  the  circuit  of  the  Fields. 

"  Mr  Merridew  said  you  were  very  clever,"  she 
remarked  at  last.  "  What  do  you  study  all  by 
yourself  in  the  senior  classroom,  Mr  Jeffries  ? "  she 
asked,  the  quizzical  little  triangles  of  her  eyes  turned 
up  to  mine  in  the  light  of  a  lamp  that  hung  like 
a  beacon  over  the  garden  railings.  She  wore  a  plaid 
Inverness  cape  and  a  boat-shaped  hat  that  night,  I 
remember,  and  would  doubtless  have  worn  rubber 
heels  had  those  articles  been  invented.  Never 
woman  made  a  slighter  physical  appeal  to  man  than 
she. 

"  I'm  not  quite  sure  myself  yet,"  I  replied,  as 
truthfully  as  made  no  matter.  "  Part  of  it  at  any 
rate  is  human  nature  in  business." 

"  I  love  human  nature,"  she  said. 

I  knew  I  had  only  to  speak.  In  the  light  of  the 
wrong  I  was  about  to  do  her  I  freely  forgave  her 


.WOBURN  PLACE  141 

all  her  past  pretences  towards  myself.  All  grapes 
had  been  sour  to  poor  Kitty,  and  I  didn't  doubt 
she  had  made  brave  attempts,  and  still  braver  con- 
cealments of  failure.  Baboon  or  anybody  else,  there 
she  was  at  his  pleasure  so  her  reproach  be  but  taken 
away.  For  already  I  had  decided  that  it  might  as 
well  be  now  as  later. 

"  Yes,"  I  answered,  as  if  absently,  and  we  walked 
on. 

The  night  was  slightly  frosty,  and  over  the  houses 
to  the  north  of  the  Fields  the  glare  of  Holborn  shone 
rustily.  There  were  few  people  about.  As  we  walked, 
by  this  time  almost  used  to  the  strangeness  of  one 
another's  company,  I  wished  that  the  central  garden 
of  the  square  had  not  been  closed ;  at  least  she  would 
have  had  the  association  of  a  tree  and  a  plot  of  grass 
to  go  with  her  plighting.  But  I  knew  that  such 
weaknesses  as  this  were  not  safe,  and  shut  peremp- 
torily down  on  them.  She  seemed  so  pathetically 
small  and  skimpy  by  my  side,  and  had  I  yielded 
even  a  little  I  could  almost  have  persuaded  myself 
of  a  tenderness  for  her.  This  I  refused  to  do.  I 
would  do  nothing  to  make  easy  for  myself  what 
would  by-and-by  prove  cruel  enough  for  her. 

We  were  half  way  round  the  Fields  on  our  second 
circuit  before  I  spoke  again.  I  moistened  my  lips 
and  steeled  myself. 

"  Miss  Windus,"  I  said. 


142    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

I  think  a  tremor  took  her  instantly  with  my  change 
of  tone.  She  looked  up,  but  I  did  not  hear  whether 
she  said  anything. 

!Nbr  did  I  say  anything.  Our  hands,  as  we  walked, 
were  close  together.  I  took  hers. 

She  made  no  attempt  to  draw  it  away,  and  we 
walked  so.  Presently  I  took  the  hand  in  my  other 
one,  and  this  brought  it  across  my  breast.  I  daresay 
she  felt  the  beating  of  my  heart. 

"  Kitty,"  I  whispered. 

She  pressed  against  me  a  little. 

I  don't  think  it  ever  entered  her  head  that  I  in- 
tended anything  but  just  that  we  should  walk,  for 
that  one  night,  round  Lincoln's  Inn  Fields  like  this. 
I  don't  believe  she  thought  of  anything.  With  even 
that  heel  and  paring  of  love  she  was  content — 
just  to  walk  so,  to-morrow  if  it  was  to  be,  if  not 
then  at  any  rate  to-night,  with  her  hand  in  a  man's 
and  her  shoulder  pressing  lightly  against  a  man's 
shoulder. 

Well,  she  had  it. 

"  Kitty,"  I  whispered  again.  This  was  in  a  dark 
shadow  on  the  south  side  of  the  Fields.  Without 
prearrangement  we  had  ceased  to  walk,  and  were 
standing  together,  she  with  her  face  turned  down- 
wards and  away,  quite  ready  to  give  me  all  she  sup- 
posed I  wanted  of  her. 

She  couldn't  murmur  my  name  in  return.     She 


.WOBURN  PLACE  143 

didn't  know  it.  It  was,  for  her,  merely  "  Man." 
But  instead  she  gave  me  that  for  which  I  stooped 
over  her.  She  gave  it  with  a  heartrending  impul- 
siveness throwing  back  her  head  suddenly  and  lean- 
ing her  bosom  on  mine.  I  felt  a  pair  of  dry,  slightly 
cracked  lips  on  my  own  and  was  conscious  of  an  odour 
of  clothes.  .  .  .  Then  we  separated  again. 

"  Oh,"  she  said,  with  a  shaky  little  exhalation  of 
her  breath,  "  I  ...  I  didn't  think  you'd  ever 
look  at  me— Jeff!" 

This  last  was  a  quick  invention,  to  cover  her  ig- 
norance of  my  Christian  name. 

She  meant  that  she  hadn't  thought  that  anybody 
would  ever  look  at  her.  Every  shred  of  the  old  pre- 
tence of  the  pertinacities  and  annoyances  of  strangers 
had  fallen  from  her.  She  lifted  up  her  face  again — 
and  again — as  if  by  present  gluttony  to  forestall  in- 
satiable hungers  of  the  morrow  and  the  morrow  after 
that. 

For  a  minute  I  was  well-nigh  resolved  out  of  sheer 
compassion  to  keep  my  word  and  marry  her. 

And  even  then — think  of  it! — she  had  no  idea 
that  I  contemplated  what  was,  indeed,  my  sole  rea- 
son for  action — an  acknowledged  engagement.  She 
never  dreamed  I  meant  to  marry  her.  It  was  I  who 
spoke  of  this,  half-an-hour  later.  By  that  time  we 
had  been  to  the  bottom  of  Chancery  Lane  and  back, 
and  were  in  the  Fields  again,  once  more  in  that  same 


144    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

shadow  where  I  had  kissed  her  first.  She  looked  at 
me. 

I  can  hardly  write  it.  There  was  first  a  gleam  of 
fear  in  her  eyes,  and  then  a  leaping. 

"Jeff I*9  she  cried  in  a  loud  voice  that  cracked. 

I  had  to  catch  her  as  she  began  slowly  to  sink  at 
the  knees. 

So  I  became  engaged.  At  the  college  it  was  a  nine 
days'  wonder,  but  I  let  them  wonder.  So  did  Kitty 
Windus,  merely  pretending  that  the  thing  had  been 
for  long  a  secret  understanding.  Archie,  I  remem- 
ber, smirked  through  some  form  of  congratulation 
when  I  told  him :  "  What,  not  Louie  after  all !  "  but 
it  was  only  when  Evie  Soames  flung  her  arms  about 
Kitty  Windus'  neck  and  well-nigh  about  mine  also 
that  I  began  really  to  wonder  what  could  possibly 
come  of  it  all. 


Ill 


DURING  those  little  pauses  and  lapses  of  study 
in  which  men  scribble  abstractedly  on  the  mar- 
gins of  paper,  idly  forming  letters  or  noughts-and- 
crosses  or  inexpert  attempts  at  portraiture,  I  myself 
had  a  way  of  filling  my  blanks  at  that  time  that  may 
serve  to  explain  the  change  that  had  more  and  more 
come  over  me.  I  used  to  rub  with  a  pencil,  as  evenly 
as  possible,  two  little  squares  of  grey,  and  then  to  put 
into  the  middle  of  the  first  of  them  a  spot  as  black 
as  my  pencil  could  make  it,  leaving  in  the  second 
a  similar  spot,  but  one  of  clean  white.  Unless  you 
have  tried  it  you  may  not  believe  the  difference  in 
effect.  The  black  spot  of  the  first  seems  to  make 
denser  and  darker  the  whole  square;  but  the  white 
one  lightens  and  relieves  it  as  the  sun  does  when  it 
struggles  through  a  mist.  By  what  law  of  optics 
this  is  to  be  explained  I  cannot  tell;  I  can  only 
say  that  if  Kitty  Windus,  wondering  what  I  studied 
all  by  myself  in  the  senior  classroom,  had  come  upon 
me  at  these  times,  she  would  have  found  me  ponder- 
ing over  these  marginal  trifles  as  in  some  way  a  sym- 
bol of  my  own  life. 

For  had  it  not  been  for  this  gloomy  blot  of  my 
145 


146    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

betrothal  to  her  I  would  not  now  have  exchanged 
my  life  for  that  of  any  man  I  knew.  So  did  hope 
now  irradiate  it.  I  was  still  an  eighteen-shilling 
Agency  clerk;  I  still  lived  in  a  red  and  green  loft 
over  a  public-house ;  but  I  now  believed  in  myself, 
longed  to  be  able  to  respect  myself,  and  had  already 
grimly  resolved  that  others  should  respect  me. 

I  was  in  this  state  of  mind  when  I  first  set  eyes 
on  Angela  Soames. 

I  was  taken  there,  of  course — to  Woburn  Place, 
I  mean — by  Kitty  Windus.  It  was  within  a  week 
of  our  engagement,  so  that  I  had  not  to  wait  long 
for  these  first-fruits  of  my  extraordinary  position. 
That  night  was  the  second  time  I  walked  with  Evie 
to  her  abode,  for  Archie  followed  a  few  yards  behind 
with  Kitty  Windus.  We  had  dropped  into  this  ar- 
rangement on  leaving  the  college,  as  men  tacitly  pay 
each  other's  partners  the  courtesy  of  their  atten- 
tions. 

When  I  have  said  that  Evie's  home  was  in  Wo- 
burn Place  I  have  gone  a  long  way  towards  describ- 
ing it.  She  lived  in  one  of  those  large  apartment 
houses  that  are  full  of  Japanese,  Americans,  and 
Indian  law  students,  with  a  half-pay  officer  here  and 
there.  She  and  her  aunt  had  rooms  of  their  own 
upstairs,  but  they  dined  in  the  large  common  dining- 
room  downstairs,  at  a  table  that  would  almost  have 
resembled  that  of  a  public  dinner  had  it  not  been 


WOBUEN  PLACE  147 

for  the  gaps  left  by  the  absent  boarders,  several  of 
whom  were  always  dining  elsewhere.  I  never  saw 
that  table  full.  I  have  tried  to  carry  on  a  conversa- 
tion with  my  neighbour  across  two  intervening  empty 
chairs.  I  have  had  to  accept  the  highly  polished 
civilities  of  Indians  and  Japanese,  who  have  refused 
to  disturb  me  when  I  have  removed  a  rolled  napkin  in 
a  numbered  ring  and  put  a  flat  and  freshly  ironed  one 
in  its  place.  One  met  niggers  and  gouty  subjects 
and  antiquated  old  ladies  in  the  hall  and  on  the  stairs ; 
and  I  was  quite  prepared  to  find  Miss  Soames  the 
aunt  one  of  these  last. 

But  she  was  not  in  the  least  so.  There  was  not 
very  much  more  difference  between  her  age  and 
my  own  than  there  was  between  mine  and  Evie's — 
though  of  course  what  difference  there  was  was  all 
on  the  wrong  side.  She  was,  I  should  say,  forty- 
three  or  four,  and  I  wondered  the  moment  I  saw  her 
how  she  had  got  through  these  forty  odd  years  and 
remained  Miss  Angela.  Let  me  say  at  once  that  she 
had  no  secret  sorrow  (though  Kitty  always  vowed  she 
had).  When,  later,  she  told  me,  with  the  greatest 
self -pluming  in  the  world,  that  she  "  could  have  been 
married  "  more  than  once  or  twice,  she  told  me  noth- 
ing I  should  not  have  guessed;  but  merely  to  have 
had  these  opportunities  seemed  entirely  to  content 
her  detached  and  unruffled  and  rather  aimless  soul. 
She  had  had  the  refusal  of  them — and  she  coquetted 


148    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

with  that.  She  had  avoided  the  pains  of  marriage — 
and  remained  the  white-haired  ingenue.  It  later  be- 
came one  of  Kitty's  irritating  tricks  to  "  wish  she  had 
hair  like  that " — a  beautiful  tower  of  it  dressed  a  la 
Marquise;  but  in  nothing  else  could  Kitty  ever  have 
resembled  Angela  Soames.  .  .  .  But  perhaps  I 
may  be  wrong  in  my  estimate  after  all.  Perhaps  no 
man  can  really  understand  that  kind  of  woman,  who 
cannot  lose  all  herself  even  when  she  marries  and 
loses  not  very  much  less  when  she  does  not.  Evie, 
I  concluded,  probably  had  her  passion  for  abandon- 
ment from  her  mother. 

I  was  introduced  to  the  elder  Miss  Soames  in 
her  sitting-room.  This  apartment,  like  herself, 
seemed  to  trail  even  into  Woburn  Place  hems  and 
fringes  of  past  prosperity.  The  room  itself  was  not 
much  more  than  a  cold-blue-papered,  corniceless  box 
— but,  as  the  first  of  a  number  of  odd  little  contrasts, 
a  shield-shaped  embroidered  firescreen  hung  on  a 
slender  stem  near  the  fire.  The  door  was  painted 
yellow  and  grained — but  a  pair  of  handsome  silver 
candlesticks  stood  on  the  mantelpiece.  There  was  a 
threadbare  lodging-house  carpet — and  a  black  bear- 
skin hearthrug,  the  head  of  the  animal  worn  bald  by 
Miss  Angela's  paste-buckled  slipper.  And  so  on. 
Oh  the  round  table  stood  a  rosy-shaded  lamp  (that  did 
not  change  to  a  corresponding  shade  of  green  as  you 
looked).  Miss  Angela  herself  wore  a  soft  old  grey 


WOBURN  PLACE  149 

with  a  thin  Indian  silk  shawl  cast  over  her  shoul- 
ders, and  I  remembered,  as  I  looked  at  her,  certain 
former  angry  conclusions  I  had  come  to  about  her. 
I  took  them  all  back.  Charmingly  unsure  of  herself 
in  everything,  from  her  love  affairs  downwards,  she 
might  be,  but  she  did  not  parrot  precepts  about  the 
"  less  fortunately  circumstanced."  We  shook  hands, 
and  I  was  told  that  I  might  smoke.  Archie  had 
come  in  smoking. 

I  did  not  talk  very  much  during  this  my  first 
call.  Indeed,  Miss  Angela  murmured,  as  if  to  her- 
self, some  half-mischievous,  half-tactful  remark  about 
an  "ordeal";  and  my  slight  nervousness  passed  as 
part  of  Kitty's  "  showing  off  "  of  me.  But  the  oth- 
ers made  up  for  me,  and  I  listened,  smiling,  but  si- 
lent except  w^ferT  I  was  directly  addressed. 

This  I  presently  was  by  Miss  Angela,  and  on  a 
point  no  less  interesting  than  the  way  in  which  Archie 
spent  his  evenings.  It  had  already  appeared  that 
he  was  to  celebrate  a  birthday  two  days  thence,  and 
Miss  Angela  had  asked  him  to  spend  the  evening 
with  them. 

"  You've  given  us  a  very  cold  shoulder  lately,"  she 
said ;  "  why,  your  mother's  been  remarking  on  it !  " 
She  pulled  a  faded  tapestry  hassock  towards  her  with 
her  foot,  the  fire  being  too  hot  to  allow  her  to  make  use 
of  the  bear's  head,  and  reached  for  a  paper  fan  with 
which  to  keep  the  heat  from  her  face.  "  I  hope  it's 


150    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

not  you  who  take  up  all  his  time,  Mr  Jeffries?" 

I  answered  that  it  was  not,  and  Evie,  who  had 
removed  her  hat  and  coat  and  was  now  tidying 
her  hair  before  the  mantelpiece  mirror,  laughed. 

"  Mr  Jeffries'  time  is  spoken  for  now — isn't  it, 
Kitty  ?  "  she  said. 

I  saw  her  look  at  Archie  as  she  said  it.  He  was 
astride  the  hearthrug,  allowing  the  smoke  of  his 
cigarette  to  stream  up  his  nostrils,  and  she,  as  she 
arranged  her  hair,  had  to  look  at  herself  almost 
over  his  shoulder.  Her  occupation  left  the  whole 
of  her  young  bosom  quite  defenceless  had  there  been 
a  pair  of  arms  to  pass  about  it,  and  the  soft  look  she 
gave  him  was  a  double  provocation.  But  he  did  not 
return  the  look.  He  moved  a  little  aside,  also  find- 
ing the  fire  hot,  and  flipped  his  cigarette  ash  into  the 
fender. 

"  I  don't  think  an  engaged  girl  ought  to  come 
between  a  man  and  all  his  old  friends,"  Kitty  pro- 
nounced. Her  look  at  me  was  a  promise  that  she 
would  never  come  between  me  and  Archie. 

Miss  Angela  gave  a  contented  little  laugh. 

"Ah,  you  all  say  that  at  first!  Well.  .  .  ." 
She  glanced  past  Evie  at  me,  and  took  me  into  her 
confidence  with  a  private  smile.  It  was  as  if  we 
two  older  ones  understood  that  there  was  something 
in  process  that  must  not  be  disturbed.  "  But  if  you 
don't  come,  Archie,"  she  added,  "I  shall  write 


.WOBURN  PLACE  151 

straight  to  your  mother!  You'll  come  too,  Miss 
Windus  ? " 

Kitty  glanced  at  me. 

"  Oh,  of  course  I  mean  Mr  Jeffries  too !  "  said  Miss 
Angela  archly. 

"  Oh,  of  course  him  too !  "  quoth  Archie,  from  the 
hearthrug,  loosening  his  scorching  trousers.  "  Two 
hearts  that  heat  as  one — you  bet — twopence  into  a 
penny  show  now,  Jeff !  " 

And  again  Miss  Angela,  with  a  look  this  time  past 
him,  seemed  to  invite  my  attention  to  something. 

You  may  guess  that  my  attention  needed  little  in- 
viting. So  far,  my  surmise,  that  she  adored  him 
while  she  took  the  admiration  a  little  impatiently  r 
seemed  to  be  pretty  near  the  mark;  and  I  was  con- 
firmed in  this  when  she  presently  sat  down  on  the 
companion  hassock  beyond  the  end  of  the  fender,  and, 
with  her  face  a  little  averted,  sank  into  moroseness. 
It  was  merely  because  her  glance  as  she  stood  before 
the  mirror  had  not  been  returned,  but  I  myself  had 
known  too  well  what  it  was  to  be  uplifted  and  cast 
down  again  by  these  nothings  not  to  understand. 

And  Archie  too  understood,  if  the  jocular  and 
would-be  easy  manner  in  which  he  tried  to  drag  her 
into  the  conversation  again  meant  anything.  I  sus- 
pected that  this  was  not  the  first  incident  of  the  kind 
that  had  occurred  between  them.  Presently  he  had 
twice  addressed  her  directly  without  getting  more 


152    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

than  the  shortest  of  replies ;  and  the  third  time  he  did 
so  (he,  Kitty  and  Miss  Angela  had  been  talking 
about  some  indifferent  matter)  he  added  the  words, 
"  that  is,  when  Evie's  found  her  tongue  again." 

My  darling  had  a  temper  of  her  own.  "  I  didn't 
know  I'd  lost  it,"  she  said,  with  a  little  perverse 
snap. 

Then  she  dropped  into  her  sulks  again. 

"  These  lovers'  quarrels !  "  Miss  Angela's  private 
smile  to  me  seemed  to  say ;  but  this  time  I  evaded  the 
discreet  invitation  to  participate. 

"  Well,"  Archie  said  presently,  looking  at  his 
watch,  "  I  must  be  off ;  I've  a  chap  to  meet.  Thanks, 
Aunt  Angela  (beg  pardon ;  I  know  you  don't  like  be- 
ing called  that).  I'll  come  on  Thursday,  then." 

But  Miss  Angela  exclaimed:  "A  man  to  meet! 
At  this  hour!" 

Archie  took  his  hat  from  a  chair.  "  Yes.  About 
a  dog.  Why  not?  Fox  terrier,"  he  added  face- 
tiously; "must  make  sure  they've  got  over  the  dis- 
temper, you  know.  Thursday  then.  You  two  are 
staying  a  bit,  I  suppose  ?  "  he  invited  us. 

He  made  his  adieux;  but  almost  before  the  door 
had  closed  behind  him  Evie  had  risen  from  her  has- 
sock. 

"  You'll  excuse  me,  wonjt  yon'?  "  she  said  quickly. 
"I've  got  a  headache.  I  shall  go  straight  to  bed. 
Good-night." 


WOBUEN  PLACE  153 

And  she  followed  him  out — whether  straight  to 
bed  or  not  I  don't  know.  Kitty  and  I  followed 
shortly  afterwards. 

And  now  that  I've  got  to  this  Woburn  Place  por- 
tion of  my  story  I  may  as  well,  while  I  am  about  it, 
skip  the  two  intervening  days  and  come  to  the  even- 
ing of  Archie  Merridew's  birthday. 

Thursday  was  not  in  any  case  one  of  Evie's  class 
evenings,  and  on  that  Thursday  she  must  have  been 
very  busy  indeed.  We  were  to  go  to  supper  at  eight ; 
and  as  the  routine  of  the  boarding  house  did  not  pro- 
vide for  private  entertainments  the  aunt  and  niece 
had  had  all  to  do  themselves.  The  supper  was  there- 
fore of  necessity  cold,  with  the  exception  of  some  hot 
soup,  which  I  suspect  to  have  been  heated  over  a 
bedroom  fire;  and  for  the  furnishing  of  the  round 
table  with  the  pink-shaded  lamp  Miss  Angela  had 
rummaged  in  drawers  and  trunks  and  bundles,  with 
notable  results.  -White  heavy  plates  with  the  name 
of  the  boarding  house  contained  within  an  oval  gar- 
ter were  set  between  common  knives  and  delicate 
and  worn  old  silver  forks  and  spoons,  really  beautiful 
glass  finger-bowls  stood  on  straw  mats  with  a  circular 
hole  in  the  middle ;  and  a  long  slender-handled  punch- 
ladle  stuck  up  out  of  the  cheap  earthenware  jug  full 
of  home-made  lemonade. 

I  suspect,  too,  that  Evie  had  changed  her  mind 
a  dozen  times  about  the  height  of  her  dress  at  the 


154    IN  'ACCOEDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

necE;  and  probably  her  aunt's  guidance  had  led  her 
finally,  since  she  had  no  special  dress  for  the  even- 
ing, to  reject  the  compromise  of  altering  her  blouse 
to  an  intermediate  V.  Her  dark  hair  had  been 
newly  washed.  A  softer  lace  than  Kitty  Windus' 
came  quite  up  to  her  ears,  and  Miss  Angela  had  lent 
her  a  pearl  ring,  which  seemed  to  be  mutely  asking 
to  be  transferred  to  the  finger  next  to  the  one  on 
which  she  wore  it.  She  was  in  white,  with  a  longer 
skirt  than  usual ;  Miss  Angela  wore  the  old  grey  and 
Indian  silk  shawl  she  always  wore ;  and  Kitty  looked 
prettier  than  I  have  ever  seen  her  in  a  spotted  blue 
foulard  (I  think  I  have  that  right)  with  wonderfully 
crimped  sleeves  and  a  cameo  brooch  at  her  rather 
wiry  throat. 

She  and  I  arrived  before  Archie,  who,  indeed, 
was  a  full  quarter  of  an  hour  late.  When  he  did 
turn  up,  there  mingled  with  his  apologies  the  bump- 
tious assumption  of  ease  with  which  he  sought  to 
make  a  joke  of  his  negligence.  He  came  in  noisily, 
as  if  he  intended  to  make  the  party  a  success  out  of 
hand;  and  before  he  had  been  in  the  room  half-a- 
minute  a  whiff  told  me  what  I  had  instantly  surmised 
from  the  brightness  of  his  eyes — that  he  had  been 
drinking  sherry  and  bitters  already. 

"  Thanks,  Aunt  Angela — but  that's  not  all,  I 
hope ! "  he  cried,  as  Miss  Angela  wished  him  many 
happy  returns  of  the  day. 


WOBURN  PLACE  155 

And  he  skipped  to  her,  passed  his  arm  about  her 
waist,  and  kissed  her. 

"  Hope  you  won't  mind  for  once,  Jeff,"  he  went 
on,  dancing  to  Kitty  Windus.  Kitty  both  stiffened 
rigidly  and  flushed  with  excitement  as  he  kissed  her 
also  on  the  cheek-bone. 

"  Here — I'm  going  all  round  now — where's 
Evie  ?  "  he  demanded. 

But  Evie  had  slipped  out  of  the  room. 

We  sat  down  to  supper. 

I  found  Archie  insufferable.  He  made  the  whole 
running  with  an  ignorant  egotism  that  caused  my 
fingers  to  itch  to  box  his  ears.  More  than  once  he 
contradicted  Miss  Angela  flatly,  instantly  trying  to 
redeem  the  grossness  by  laughing  loudly  and  crying, 
"  Excuse  my  frankness — no  offence — only  Archie's 
way !  "  He  made  so  familiar  both  with  Kitty  and 
myself  that,  out  of  mere  hostility  to  him,  I  came  very- 
near  to  an  alliance  with  her.  Evie,  I  saw,  was  mis- 
erable. How  much  she  knew  about  his  habits  I 
could  only  guess ;  I  think  that  already  she  knew  more 
than  a  little;  but  his  had  been  the  fortune  to  reveal 
her  to  herself,  and  I  am  not  sure  whether  that  ever 
wholly  dies.  I  think  it  has  since  died  as  much  as 
ever  it  can. 

"  But,"  Miss  Angela  said  by-and-by,  seeking  to 
quieten  him,  "  I've  forgotten  to  ask  you  how  your 
father  is.  Better,  I  hope  ? " 


156    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  The  pater  ?  Oh,  he's  all  right ;  it's  only  a  bilious 
attack.  Afraid  he  got  poisoned  with  some  foie  gras 
he  ate — jolly  good  tack  I  call  it — I'll  have  some  more, 
please.  And  what's  that  you've  got  to  drink  there, 
Evie?" 

Evie  poured  him  out  some  lemonade.  He  looked 
at  it,  hut  made  no  remark  on  it. 

"  Here's  your  foie  gras — have  some  cress  with  it," 
said  Miss  Angela.  x 

And  so  we  feted  his  lordship. 

After  supper  there  were  nuts  and  almonds,  which 
we  ate  sitting  round  the  fire.  I  say  "  we,"  but  Archie 
had  what  was  left  afterwards.  With  a  "  Half-a- 
mo,"  he  had  gone  out,  and  I  myself  thought  our 
party  much  pleasanter  without  him. 

But  as  he  remained  away,  Miss  Angela  had  no 
choice  but  to  say  presently :  "  What  can  have  be- 
come of  our  young  man  ?  I  wonder  if  you'd  mind 
fetching  him,  Mr  Jeffries !  " 

I  went,  and  found  him. 

He  had  picked  up,  on  the  stairs  or  in  the  hall,  a 
Japanese  with  whom  he  had  contracted  some  sort 
of  acquaintance,  and  I  heard  his  call  as  I  passed 
the  half-open  door  of  the  dining-room. 

"  Here— Jeff !  "  he  called.  "  Hold  on— I  shaVt 
be  a  minute — come  and  let  me  introduce  you  to  Mr 
Shoto— Mr  Shoto,  Mr  Jeffries." 

I  distrust  that  too   affable  little  race  from  the 


.WOBURN  PLACE  157 

other  side  of  the  world,  and  I  gave  Mr  Shoto  the 
most  perfunctory  of  nods.  Archie  was  having  a 
very  golden  whisky  and  soda  with  him. 

"  Come  along — you  oughtn't  to  clear  off  like  this/' 
I  said  curtly.  "  Miss  Soames  is  asking  for  you." 

"All  right — good  old  Angela — just  a  minute  till 
I  finish  this.  We  were  talking  about  Japan,  or 
rather  Mr  Shoto  was.  Tell  him  that  about  the  Yoshi- 
wara,  Shoto." 

But  that  cunning  little  alien  had  evidently  summed 
me  up  already,  and  had  a  different  choice  of  subject 
for  me. 

I  haled  Archie  back.  I  wondered,  as  he  sat  down 
by  Evie,  whether  he  would  have  another  man  about 
another  dog  to  see  presently,  but  he  hadn't.  Mag- 
nanimously he  gave  us  the  whole  of  the  rest  of  the 
evening.  This  he  did  in  spite  of  the  cold  encourage- 
ment he  got  from  Evie.  Twice,  I  was  certain,  while 
his  face  did  not  cease  to  be  animated  with  the  talk 
he  gave  the  rest  of  us,  his  hand  sought  hers  behind 
the  arm  of  his  chair;  but  she  drew  away.  Never- 
theless she  drew  away  discreetly.  By  doing  so  openly 
she  could  have  shown  him  up,  but  evidently  she  did 
not  wish  to  show  him  up.  There  was  no  irreconcila- 
ble difference  between  them.  She  was  angry,  but 
not  to  the  point  of  refusing  to  make  it  up  afterwards. 
And  I  knew  she  was  not  far  from  unhappy  tears. 

Kitty  and  T  were  the  first  to  leave.     This  was  at 


158    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

half-past  eleven,  and  I  had  no  desire  to  outsit  Archie. 
He  would  either  leave  in  another  half-hour,  which 
would  leave  him  time  for  another  golden  whisky  and 
soda,  or,  setting  the  smoothing  over  of  Evie's  ruffled 
temper  before  the  attractions  of  the  public-house, 
would  linger  till  after  closing-time,  when  there  would 
be  no  hurry.  To  see  which  alternative  he  would  take 
didn't  on  the  whole  seem  to  be  worth  waiting  for. 

So  Kitty  and  I  took  our  leave;  and  as  I  walked 
with  her  to  Percy  Street — where  she  had  two  rooms 
over  a  modiste's — I — and  she  too — had  to  suffer  as 
best  we  might  the  kind  of  thing  I  will  relate  in  the 
next  chapter. 


FROM  the  beginning  she  wanted  one  thing,  I  an- 
other. She  was  prepared  to  "love"  me  (as 
if  it  had  been  a  matter  of  will,  to  which,  neverthe- 
less, I  am  quite  certain  she  would  faithfully  have 
adhered)  on  the  condition  that  that  heart  of  hers 
should  be  no  longer  a  parched  pod;  but  I  wanted 
no  more  of  her  than  that  my  name  should  be  linked 
with  hers  as  that  of  her  suitor.  To  me  the  appear- 
ance was  the  indispensable  thing ;  she  wanted  the  sub- 
stance. And  she  was  already  plaguing  me  for  it. 

God  knows  I  gave  her  what  I  could  give.  After- 
wards, when  all  was  over,  she  still  had  the  memory 
of  it.  I  hope  she  found  comfort  in  it. 

For  of  course  it  was  precisely  over  that  which 
was  Evie's,  and  which  I  was  resolved  to  keep  for 
Evie,  that  we  were  locked  in  a  grapple.  She  lisped 
and  besought  and  cajoled.  Before  I  began  some- 
times utterly  to  forget  that  we  were  betrothed  at  all 
I  could  often  have  groaned  aloud  at  her  inexpert 
playfulness;  and  I  doubt  whether  the  wit  of  man 
could  have  devised  a  more  acute  torture  than  that 
which  I  now  began  to  undergo  at  her  unsuspecting 
hands. 

159 


160    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

For  Archie's  birthday  was  early  in  March,  and 
already  the  crocuses  were  out,  and  the  harrows  in 
the  streets  were  so  aflame  with  daffodils  that  the 
flowers  almost  illuminated  the  faces  of  the  sellers 
of  them.  It  was  still  cold  and  backward,  but  tho 
days  were  long  past  the  turn,  and  while  single  twigs 
were  still  of  a  wintry  iron  hue,  in  the  mass  they 
took  a  softness,  and  the  vistas  of  the  parks  had  per- 
ceptibly changed.  In  the  streets  of  the  wealthy  in 
which  I  walked  the  house-painters  were  at  work, 
painting  doors  and  railings  and  window-boxes;  and 
even  at  my  King's  Cross  corner  the  railway  com- 
panies' announcements  told  of  the  coming  summer. 
Spring  was  breaking  in  London — spring,  the  merry 
time  of  the  year — spring,  when  lovers  cannot  keep 
asunder — and  when  Kitty  and  myself  could  not,  yet 
must,  keep  asunder. 

In  the  streets  I  knew  I  was  fairly  safe.  Her 
hand  on  my  sleeve  filled  me  with  no  repugnance. 
Let  me,  for  example,  tell  you  of  our  walk  back  to 
Percy  Street  on  that  night  of  Archie's  birthday- 
party. 

As  we  crossed  Tottenham  Court  Eoad  she  slipped 
her  hand  into  my  overcoat  pocket,  and  my  own  en- 
countered it  there.  It  held  it.  It  retained  it  along 
dark  Percy  Street,  and  still  retained  it  when  we 
stopped  together  at  the  side  door  next  the  window 
with  the  two  fly-blown  hats  on  pedestals  that  formed 


[WOBURN  PLACE  161 

the  whole  of  the  modiste's  display.  There  I  would 
have  left  her ;  but  "  Don't  go  just  yet>  Jeff,"  she 
begged ;  "  just  eentie  walk  ? " 

"  Well,  a  short  one,"  I  said. 

•We  turned  up  Fitzroy  Street  into  the  Maryle- 
bone  Eoad,  but  I  was  wary  of  the  dark  empty  spaces 
about  Regent's  Park.  The  streets  and  the  crowds 
for  me.  Indeed  I  may  say  that  during  this  period 
of  our  "  walking  out "  no  couple  in  London  sought 
solitude  as  I  sought  to  avoid  it ;  and  I  resolutely  sup- 
pressed the  thought  of  what  was  going  to  happen 
when  the  warm  days  should  come  and  she  should  ask 
me  to  take  her  to  Eichmond  or  Epping  or  Kew.  It 
was  no  good  meeting  that  horror  half  way. 

Therefore.  "Well,"  I  said,  as  we  approached 
Portland  Road  Station  again,  "  hadn't  we  better  be 
turning  ?  It's  getting  late." 

"  I  suppose  so,"  she  sighed  reluctantly,  with  a 
pressure  of  my  arm.  "  Let's  go  this  way." 

She  indicated  one  of  the  darker  side  streets.  We 
took  it. 

By-and-by  we  stood  by  the  modiste's  window  again. 
That  is  not  a  very  reputable  neighbourhood,  and  as 
she  stood  there,  lingering  out  our  talk  to  the  thinnest 
of  excuses,  I  guessed  what  was  in  her  mind.  But 
the  general  environment  of  laxity  only  produced  a 
primness  in  her.  In  being  all  that  she  should  be, 
she  was  sometimes  a  good  deal  more.  Still,  there 


162    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

was  no  harm  in  dallying  with  a  secret  thought. 

But  under  all  circumstances  she  ever  displayed  a 
sort  of  tempted  prudishness. 

"  You  and  Evie  and  Miss  Soames  must  come  in 
one  Sunday  and  have  tea  with  me/'  she  said  re- 
signedly at  last,  allowing  the  thought  that  some  day 
I  might  go  up  with  her  to  recede. 

"  That  will  he  charming,"  I  replied. 

Then  she  sighed.     "  It  has  been  so  lovely  tonight !  " 

"  In  what  way  ?  "  I  asked,  forcing  a  smile. 

"  Archie  was  horrid,  and  you,  Jeff " 

Yes,  I  remembered  that  hostility  to  Archie  cer- 
tainly had  resulted  in  a  rapprochement  between  our- 
selves. 

"  Well,"  she  said  at  last,  lifting  her  face,  "  good- 
night, dearest — I  know  who  7  shall  dream  of !  " 

I  kissed  her,  heard  the  sound  of  her  key  in  the 
lock,  and,  turning,  saw  her  little  face  still  looking 
through  the  half -closed  door  after  me.  I  returned 
to  King's  Cross  by  way  of  Woburn  Place,  but  there 
was  only  a  glimmer  of  light  within  the  fanlight  of 
Evie's  dwelling  as  I  passed.  Perhaps  Archie  had 
chosen  the  whisky  and  soda  after  all. 

I  soon  saw  that  only  by  means  of  a  studied  un- 
emotionalness  should  I  be  able  for  long  to  head  her 
off  from  the  things  she  sought;  and  I  set  about  the 
creation  of  this  atmosphere  without  loss  of  time.  In 
this  I  found  my  far-reaching  ambition  useful  to  me; 


[WOBURN  PLACE  163 

I  had  simply;  to  be  preoccupied  with  business  to  be 
spared  much.  I  had  not  to  play  this  part.  I  ac- 
tually was  a  ferment  of  new  plans.  That  my  ab- 
sorbing ambition  was  all  for  her  sake  was  allowed 
to  pass  as  understood.  And  when  she  began  to  make 
touching  attempts  to  be  interested  in  my  affairs,  I, 
lest  a  worse  thing  should  befall  me,  encouraged  her. 
I  talked  fully  and  freely,  knowing  that  I  ran  no  more 
risk  of  betrayal  than  Napoleon  did  when  he  laid  be- 
fore a  Russian  peasant  woman  unacquainted  with 
French  the  plan  of  campaign  he  feared  to  trust  to  his 
own  staff.  This  I  did  as  the  almonds  pushed  forth 
their  pink,  and  the  plane-trees  budded,  and  the  build- 
ing birds  sang  loudly.  Once  she  called  me  her  build- 
ing bird. 

I  had  had  to  tell  her,  vaguely,  about  my  employ- 
ment; and  I  was  also  vague  about  where  I  lived. 
Here  her  own  tempted  timorousness  helped  me.  It 
was  not  difficult  for  me  to  be  stern  about  the  pro- 
prieties, and  indeed,  as  she  saw  this,  and  began  to 
feel  perfectly  safe  with  me,  she  even  affected  a  lib- 
erality of  thought.  "  Why  not  ?  "  she  would  some- 
times ask  almost  defiantly ;  "  why  not  see  one  an- 
other in  our  own  places — if  there  was  nothing  hor- 
rid?" 

And  for  that  I  usually  found  a  surprised  stare  an- 
swer enough. 

But  the  hunger  was  on  her,  and  I  had  to  give  her 


164    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

morsels.  That  was  a  haggard  horror.  It  was  the 
more  horrible  that  her  vanities  always  turned  on  the 
things  of  which  she  had  the  least  reason  to  be  vain. 
As  an  affectionate  and  devoted  and  dull  spinster  my 
heart  was  often  soft  to  her ;  but  her  coquetries  would 
have  made  an  angel  groan.  For  example :  her  hands 
were  not  remarkably  pretty;  her  fingers  had  almost 
the  pinkness,  and  a  little  of  the  shape,  of  the  smaller 
claws  of  a  freshly  boiled  crab ;  but  she  gave  them  no 
rest  from  display.  I  was  sometimes  commanded, 
with  a  vapid  imperiousness,  to  make  much  of  them. 
And  once,  on  a  seat  on  the  Embankment,  she  yielded 
to  a  temptation  never  far  removed  from  her,  It 
was  at  night;  unnoticed,  a  portion  of  her  hair  had 
shaken  loose;  and,  suddenly  becoming  aware  of  this, 
and  doubtless  with  some  idea  of  maddening  me  with 
the  thought  of  something  prohibited,  she  put  up  her 
hands,  shook  down  the  short  mass  on  her  shoulders, 
and  grimaced  at  me.  The  next  day  she  begged,  with 
a  shamed  face,  that  I  would  try  to  forget  this  sin  in 
her — for  apparently  she  had  intended  it  as  sin;  but 
I  had  nothing  to  forget.  All  that  I  remembered  was 
the  contrast,  as  she  had  put  the  hair  up  again,  be- 
tween the  bosom  under  her  uplifted  arms  and  that 
other  bosom  from  which  Archie  Merridew  had  turned 
away  as  Evie  had  stood  before  the  mantelpiece  mirror 
in  Woburn  Place. 

Her  dwelling,  which  I  first  visited  with  Evie  and 


WOBURN  PLACE  165 

her  aunt,  was  on  the  first  floor  of  the  modiste's  at 
the  back.  Her  sleeping  apartment  I  never  saw ;  and 
of  her  sitting-room  I  have  no  very  clear  memory  now. 
There  was  a  penny-in-the-slot  gas-meter  on  the  land- 
ing, I  remember,  and  the  floor  of  the  room  into  which 
one  walked  was  covered  with  a  greenish  jute  "  art 
square,"  with  the  wide  spaces  of  bare  boarding  about 
it  stained  with  Condy's  Fluid.  The  previous  occu- 
pant had  left  on  the  walls  a  "  French  boudoir  "  paper 
with  a  pattern  of  thin  vertical  lines  and  tiny  gar- 
lands of  pink  rosebuds  (Kitty  had  cleaned  it  with 
dough  on  taking  possession).  The  furniture  was 
scanty,  with  a  good  deal  of  muslin  about  it,  and  a 
sewing-machine  stood  in  the  back  window,  which 
looked  over  a  restaurant  yard.  When  she  had  more 
than  two  visitors  at  once  she  had  to  fetch  an  extra 
chair  from  her  bedroom,  and  from  the  sound  her 
heels  made  at  these  times  I  gathered  that  that  room 
was  uncarpeted. 

As  by  quickening  degrees  she  began  to  accept  her 
unlooked-for  situation  more  as  a  matter  of  course, 
her  thoughts  naturally  turned  to  the  future  and  that 
I  found  to  involve  her  whole  attitude  to  Life.  The 
things  we  were  to  do  "  when  we  were  married  "  were 
dictated  by  the  narrowness  of  her  outlook.  She  had 
about  a  pound  a  week  of  her  own  money,  I  don't 
know  exactly  where  from,  but  I  think  from  some 
tramways  Edgbaston  way,  and  this  sum,  together  with 


166    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

whatever  she  might  be  able  to  earn  for  herself,  was 
practically  the  limit  of  her  conception  of  any  income 
she  was  ever  likely  to  have.  From  the  stories  she 
told  me  of  her  earlier  years  I  gathered  that  she  came 
from  a  social  stratum  in  which  the  men  are  lords  in- 
deed, sometimes  "  in  work,"  sometimes  "  out,"  and 
apparently  content  during  these  last  vicissitudes  to 
be  dependent  on  their  wives  or  sisters  or  mothers. 
It  seemed  to  me  such  a  pitiful  little  world,  of  millin- 
ers, lodging-house  keepers,  music-mistresses,  fancy 
needlewomen  and  daughters  in  offices;  and  I  was 
given  the  corresponding  male  standing.  As  with  the 
men  her  cousins  (her  nearest  relatives)  had  married, 
if  I  should  ever  happen  to  earn  money,  well  and 
good ;  if  not,  so  much  the  worse.  She  reckoned  only 
on  her  weekly  pound  and  her  own  efforts.  And  as 
I  learned  that  Cousin  Alf  and  Cousin  Frank  were 
boundlessly  optimistic,  and  looked  forward  to  a  fu- 
ture no  less  bright  than  that  of  which  I  felt  the  cer- 
titude within  me,  I  soon  discovered  that  I  was  merely 
indulged  in  what  in  her  heart  she  set  down  as  vapour- 
ings.  It  was  the  woman  who,  in  her  experience, 
"  kept  the  home  together,"  and  she  was  prepared  to 
keep  me. 

"  Well,"  I  laughed,  "  I  daresay  I  shall  learn  to 
pare  the  potatoes  as  well  as  Cousin  Alf  in  time." 

But  she  smiled  a  sad,  wise  little  smile.  I  might 
joke,  but  she  knew. 


"WOBURN  PLACE  167 

"And  it's  just  possible  that  some  time  or  other 
I  may  make  a  pound  or  two,"  I  said,  smiling  back. 

"  There'll  be  your  clothes  and  pocket-money,"  she 
replied. 

So  I  was  to  be  kept — kept  by  virtue  of  my  mascu- 
linity, as  one  keeps  a  dog  to  bark.  I  was  to  be  kept, 
I  divined,  somewhere  in  a  suburb,  in  a  house  the 
amallness  of  the  rent  of  which  would  be  exactly  bal- 
anced by  the  increased  cost  of  the  season  ticket  that 
would  take  me  daily  to  my  work,  when  I  was  "  in." 
Even  when  I  was  "  out "  I  was  to  be  treated  with  a 
nice  consideration,  for  she  "  never  had  liked  to  see 
Frank  washing  up — it  looked  so  unmanly,"  but  as 
she  said  nothing  about  cleaning  boots  or  fetching 
coals,  these  things  apparently  were  not  unmanly. 
And  I  wondered  whether  the  Alfs  and  Franks  were 
more  numerous  than  I  had  thought,  or  were  becom- 
ing so.  Small  wonder  their  women  treated  them, 
with  almost  contemptuous  tolerance,  blazing  out  once 
in  a  while  into  a  row.  And  I  now  see  that  in  this 
sense  I  wronged  Kitty  when  I  said  she  was  one  of 
Life's  takers.  There  are  always  two  sides  to  a  thing, 
and  on  this  side  she  wanted  nothing  but  to  give. 

But,  willing  as  she  was  to  do  all  this  in  the  future, 
I  soon  discovered  that  she  wanted  her  small  solatium 
in  the  present.  In  the  matter  of  little  treats  and 
outings  I  did  not  compare  very  favourably  even  with 
her  Franks  and  Alfs.  As  you  know,  I  simply  had 


168    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

not  the  necessary  shillings.  And  so  I  began  (I  knew) 
to  appear  "  near  "  and  "  close  "  to  her.  One  Friday- 
evening,  as  we  left  the  college  together,  she  allowed 
as  much  to  be  seen. 

"  Jeff,"  she  said  suddenly,  as  we  approached  the 
corner  by  the  Oxford  together,  "  do  you  know,  you've 
never  taken  me  to  a  theatre  yet !  " 

Personally  I  have  never  greatly  cared  for  the  the- 
atre; but  it  happened  that  I  had  spoken  to  her  once 
or  twice  rather  off-handedly  that  evening,  and  was 
not  unwilling  to  make  amends.  Besides,  the  theatre 
might  save  a  walk  in  Hyde  Park.  I  pumped  up  a 
vivacity. 

"  No  more  I  have,"  I  replied.  "  Good  idea,  It's 
too  late  to  go  to-night,  but  we  might  have  a  walk 
round  and  see  what's  on." 

She  fell  in  with  the  suggestion  gleefully,  and  we 
walked  down  Charing  Cross  Road  and  Shaftesbury 
Avenue,  looking  at  theatre  announcements  as  we  went. 
At  the  Circus  we  turned  along  Coventry  Street,  and 
presently  found  ourselves  opposite  the  Prince  of 
•Wales'.  I  think  it  was  La  Poupee  that  was  run- 
ning there;  if  it  wasn't  it  was  some  other  piece  that 
seemed  light ;  and  as  I  like,  when  I  do  go  to  the  thea- 
tre, to  be  amused  rather  than  instructed,  I  plumped 
for  La  Poupee  as  against  Kitty's  suggestion — some 
stern  and  ennobling  tragedy.  I  had  drawn  my  week's 
money  that  evening.  It  would  be  a  sorry  business  if, 


WOBURN  PLACE  169 

with  all  those  years  of  Alfing  and  Franking  before 
me,  I  could  not  once  in  a  while  spare  five  shillings 
out  of  my  eighteen ;  and  so  we  elected  for  La  Paupee 
for  the  following  evening. 

We  went.  We  waited  for  perhaps  two  hours  out- 
side the  pit  door,  but,  as  Kitty  said  when  at  last  we 
did  get  inside,  our  places  were  worth  it.  When  we 
were  married,  she  said,  we  ought  to  be  able  to  af- 
ford at  least  one  theatre  a  month — she  didn't  in  the 
least  mind  going  to  the  gallery — and  it  would  be 
something  to  think  about  for  the  next  month.  She 
didn't  intend,  when  we  were  married,  to  get  rusty. 
We  were  going  to  have  our  little  outings  like  other 
married  people,  and  if  I  continued,  when  we  were 
married,  to  like  light  things  and  she  serious  pieces, 
we  would  choose  in  turn.  And  so  on.  I  only  half 
heard.  I  was  spreading  my  remaining  ten  shillings 
over  the  week  to  come — ten  shillings,  mark  you,  not 
thirteen,  for  I  had  had  to  buy  Kitty  a  ring,  for  which 
I  was  paying  at  the  rate  of  three  shillings  a  week. 

Nothing  happened  at  that  performance  of  La  Pou- 
pee.  I  am  merely  telling  you  this  in  order  that  you 
may  see  exactly  how  we  stood,  not  at  the  crisis  of 
our  lives,  but  during  the  intervening  stretches.  I 
added  to  the  problem  of  the  coming  week  by  giving 
a  shilling  for  a  box  of  chocolates,  and  no  extrava- 
gance I  have  ever  committed  brought  me  a  richer  re- 
turn than  Kitty's  look  of  pleasure.  I  suppose  that 


170    IN  ACCORDANCE  .WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

really  this  was  all  that  was  demanded  of  Alf  and 
Frank — a  trifling,  unexpected  superfluity  once  in  a 
while.  Lucky  fellows!  I,  however,  was  neither  a 
Frank  nor  an  Alf,  my  dreams  were  not  the  mere  be- 
guilings  of  an  idleness ;  and  neither  during  my  court- 
ship (my  real  one,  I  mean)  nor  thereafter  was  I  go- 
ing, in  any  woman's  heart,  to  lord  it  on  so  little. 


I  REMEMBER  the  Sunday  on  which  Evie,  Miss 
Angela  and  I  first  took  tea  with  Kitty  Windus 
for  two  reasons,  The  first  was  that  Miss  Angela, 
who  at  first  had  begged  to  be  excused,  had  come 
after  all  (knocking  on  the  head  my  plan  of  walk- 
ing back  with  Evie  alone).  And  the  second  was 
Kitty's  asking  me  to  remain  behind  after  the  others 
had  taken  their  departure. 

We  had  gone  at  four  o'clock;  and  even  as  the 
three  of  us  had  walked  towards  Percy  Street  to- 
gether (I  had  picked  the  others  up  on  my  way)  I  had 
wondered  what  had  suddenly  come  over  Evie.  She 
had  seemed  pale  and  jumpy  and  morose,  and  had 
scarcely  spoken  a  word  during  the  whole  of  our  walk. 
Nor  had  she  said  very  much  more  as  we  had  eaten 
the  hot  muffins  and  drunk  the  tea  Kitty  had  provided. 
Indeed,  the  greater  part  of  the  talk  had  been  between 
Miss  Angela  and  myself,  and  even  that  had  lan- 
guished. 

Then  suddenly  Miss  Angela  had  said  something 
that  had,  I  thought,  explained  matters.  Archie's 

father,  whose  illness  Miss  Angela  had  asked  about 

171 


172    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

on  the  evening  of  the  birthday-party,  had  taken  a 
sudden  turn  for  the  worse,  and  Archie  had  been  sum- 
moned to  Guildford  the  day  before. 

"  Well,  we  must  hope  for  the  best/'  Miss  Angela 
had  concluded.  "  There's  no  need  to  begin  moping 
yet,  child " 

Miss  Angela  also  had  jumped  at  my  own  explana- 
tion of  Evie's  inoodiness — that  now  that  Archie  was 
in  trouble  his  misdoings  were  forgotten. 

I  was  to  learn  my  error  half-an-hour  later,  when 
Evie  and  her  aunt  rose  to  depart. 

I,  of  course,  had  intended  to  leave  with  them; 
but  as  I  held  the  door  open  for  'them  to  pass  out 
Kitty  said :  "  You  stay  for  a  few  minutes,  Jeff ;  I've 
something  to  tell  you.  .  .  .  Good-bye,  Evie 
dear.  I  do  hope  your  cold  will  soon  be  well,  Miss 
Soames " 

And  she  waved  her  hand  to  them  as  they  passed 
down  the  stairs. 

I  swore  under  my  breath,  but  there  was  no  help 
for  it.  I  followed  Kitty  back  into  her  sitting-room. 
She  crossed  to  the  fireplace  and  sank  into  a  canvas 
deck-chair  with  her  back  to  the  sewing-machine.  I 
remained  standing,  with  my  hat  in  my  hand,  at  the 
other  corner  of  the  mantelpiece. 

She  had  allowed  her  head  to  fall  back  against 
the  sagging  canvas,  and  had  closed  her  eyes. 

"  Sit  down,"  she  said,  without  opening  her  eyes, 


iWOBURN  PLACE  173 

and,  wondering  what  was  wrong,  I  reached  for  her 
bedroom  chair  and  sat  down. 

"  What's  the  matter  ? "  I  asked,  a  little  alarmed 
already,  though  I  knew  not  why.  I  wondered  if 
anything  had  been  discovered  about  myself.  There 
were,  as  you  know,  plenty  of  such  things  to  dis- 
cover. 

Her  eyes  still  remained  closed,  but  her  head  fell 
a  little  on  one  side.  It  was  not  until  I  had  asked  her 
again  what  was  the  matter  that  she  spoke. 

"It's— it's  dreadful!"  she  moaned.  "  I— I  can 
see  you  haven't  heard " 

"  -What  is  ?  Come,  come !  "  I  said,  with  some  con- 
cern but  more  impatience.  "  No,  I've  not  heard  any- 
thing to  take  on  like  this  about — unless  you  mean 
something  about  Archie's  father?  .  .  ." 

"  !N"o,  it's  nothing  to  do  with  Archie's  father.  Oh, 
I  can't  possibly  tell  you,  Jeff— 

It  was  on  the  tip  of  my  tongue  to  say  that  in  that 
case  it  was  of  little  use  my  remaining ;  but  she  went 
on. 

"  Just  a  minute,"  she  said.  "  You  haven't  heard 
.  .  .  about  Louie  Causton  ? " 

I  was  certainly  surprised.  You  will  remember 
that  I  had  not  set  eyes  on  Miss  Causton  since  the 
evening  of  the  breaking-up  pairty,  when  she  had 
danced  twice  round  the  room  with  me,  sought  me 
out  again  subsequently,  and  told  me  what  the  result 


174    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

had  since  falsified — that  she  was  returning  to  the 
college  in  the  new  term. 

"No,"  I  said  abruptly.  "What  about  her? 
Nothing  wrong,  I  hope  ?  " 

But  she  only  sobbed,  "  Oh,  Jeff !  "  and  with  her 
eyes  still  closed  put  out  a  helpless  hand. 

I  had  to  approach  and  take  the  hand  before  I 
learned  what  the  mystery  was.  I  don't  know  whether 
you  have  already  guessed  it.  I  hadn't,  but  for  all 
that  my  surprise,  great  as  it  was,  passed  even  in 
the  moment  of  Kitty's  broken  whispering  in  my  ear. 
I  had  known  Louie  Causton  for  a  deep,  still  pool;  I 
don't  think  any  revelation  whatever  could  have  added 
to  my  respect  for  her  powers  of  irony  and  noncha- 
lance; and  yet  when  I  say  that  my  surprise  passed 
it  passed  only  to  return.  Good  gracious*  .  .  . 
I  seemed  to  hear  her  carefully  lackadaisical  voice 
again  as  she  had  munched  nougat :  "  So  long  since 
I've  seen  a  man,  my  dear  "...  and  other  cir- 
cumstances, unmarked  at  the  time,  flashed  on  me 
now. 

A  child ! 

"  Good  gracious !  "  I  breathed  again  in  conster- 
nation. 

My  next  thought  was  of  Evie. 

I  was  kneeling  by  Kitty's  chair,  holding  her  hand. 
I  asked  quickly : 

"  Does  Evie  know  of  this  ? " 


iWOBURN  PLACE  175 

"  Yes." 

"  And  does  she  know  you're  telling  me  ?  " 

"Yes." 

"  And  of  course  Miss  Soames  does  not  know  ?  " 

"  No." 

"  She  thinks  as  I  thought,  that  it's  about  Archie's 
father  Evie's  so  upset  ? " 

"  Yes ;  but  perhaps  she  is  about  that  too  a  little. 
I'm  horribly  upset,  Jeff." 

This  last  I  took  as  a  hint  that  the  effect  of  this 
very  startling  intelligence  on  Evie  was  not  the  first 
thing  to  be  considered. 

"Yes,  yes.  ...  I  see.  ..."  I  mur- 
mured. 

We  were  silent,  and  I  felt  Kitty's  fingers  move 
within  my  grasp.  They  pressed  mine  more  closely. 

"  Don't  leave  me  just  yet,  Jeff,"  she  begged  faintly. 
She  was  genuinely  prostrated. 

"!N~o,  no,"  I  said.  "Let  me  think  for  a  min- 
ute. .  .  ." 

The  next  moment  my  brain  was  buzzing  with 
thought. 

I  knew  that  only  some  such  contact  with  plain  raw 
actuality  as  this  had  been  lacking  in  order  to  make 
Evie's  transition  from  girlhood  to  womanhood  com- 
plete. ISTo  longer  now  was  she  the  fair  young  tree 
standing  over  its  sprinkling  of  delicate  discarded 
sheaths;  this  puff  of  Life's  east  wind  had  carried 


176    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

away  the  last  of  them.  She  had  heard  of  these 
things,  and  so  in  a  sense  knew  of  them;  but  that 
somebody  she  knew  .  .  .  that  it  should  have 
come  so  near  .  .  .  yes,  poor  shocked  heart,  that 
finished  it.  Archie's  insupportable  vanities  had  be- 
gun her  enlightenment;  the  menace  of  his  father's 
condition  had  touched  her  with  the  fringe  of  its 
shadow ;  and  now  this  revelation  had  come  upon  her. 

Mr  Merridew's  illness,  moreover,  had  a  plainly 
seen  peril  for  me.  I  knew  that  if  anything  hap- 
pened Archie  would  immediately  have  enough  money 
to  marry  on,  and  my  own  labours — all  that  I  had 
planned  and  done  from  the  first  moment  of  my  loving 
her  to  this  present  hour  when  I  sat  in  Kitty  Win- 
dus'  back  room  holding  Kitty's  hand — would  go  for 
nothing.  They,  Evie  and  Archie,  would  probably 
marry,  and  I — I  knew  this  in  that  moment  for  a  cer- 
tainty— I,  from  sheer  yielding,  should  find  myself 
married  to  Kitty  Windus  the  moment  I  could  scrape 
the  money  together. 

I  gave  a  soft  groan.  I  don't  know  whether  Kitty 
supposed  my  groan  the  commiseration  for  Louie 
Causton. 

Yet  what  else,  if  I  had  chosen  a  different  line, 
could  I  have  done  ?  Nothing !  My  shrinking  heart 
cried,  Nothing !  What  was  I  to  have  spoken  to  a 
young  girl  of  marriage?  An  Agency  clerk — with 
dazzling  hopes!  A  dweller  over  a  sordid  public- 


iWOBURN  PLACE  177 

house — and  a  dreamer  of  visions !  The  possessor  of 
a  single  suit  of  presentable  clothes,  the  knees  of  which 
I  was  even  now  deteriorating  past  remedy — and  of 
a  heart  tapestried  with  purple  and  gold,  filled  with 
an  almost  insensate  ambition ! 

And  I  saw  Evie  only  at  all  on  the  well-nigh  in- 
supportable footing  that  I  was  the  betrothed  of  Kitty 
Windus ! 

Oh,  if  I  had  but  had  two  suits  of  clothes,  and 
thirty-six  shillings  a  week  instead  of  eighteen  shil- 
lings, I  think  I  would  have  cut  the  knot  there  and 
then  and  have  sought  Evie  out  that  very  night  and 
asked  her  to  marry  me! 

Then  after  a  time  I  became  more  practical. 
Things,  even  the  heart-breaking  small  things  of  my 
life,  were  after  all  slowly  changing.  One  of  these 
things  was  that  my  slavery  at  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters' 
was  already  promising  to  draw  to  a  close.  I  have 
not  yet  spoken  of  this.  Let  me  do  so,  briefly,  now. 

Once  more  I  had  been  looking  for  a  billet  else- 
where, and  this  time  I  had  excellent  hopes  of  suc- 
cess. The  post  for  which  I  had  applied  would  not 
be  vacant  for  six  weeks  yet,  but  I  had  forced  a  per- 
sonal interview  with  one  of  my  prospective  employ- 
ers, and  had  done  what  I  had  intended  to  do — im- 
pressed him  strongly  with  a  sense  of  my  mental  ca- 
pacity. He  had  promised  me  his  interest,  and,  un- 
less he  forgot  it  again  (which,  of  course,  was  not  im- 


178    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

possible),  I  might  have  at  least  enough  for  one  to  live 
on  before  long.  And  once  more  my  wider  hopes 
were,  I  knew  in  my  soul,  not  illusions.  Soon  there 
would  remain  only  the  bond  that  tied  me  to  Kitty, 
and,  with  that  broken,  I  would  no  longer  envy  even 
Archie  Merridew  that  luck  and  weak  charm  of  his 
that  in  the  past  had  so  often  seemed  more  valuable 
than  all  I  possessed. 

But  Kitty,  lying  back  in  her  deck-chair,  had  opened 
her  eyes  again.  They  were  full  of  softness  and 
fright.  She  spoke. 

"  I  wonder,  Jeff — whether "  she  said  timidly 

and  stopped. 

"  You  wonder  what,  Kitty  ?  "  I  asked  gently. 

"  I  know  how  strict  you  are — and  if  you  say  no 
I  won't — but  if  I  might  go  and  see  her " 

"Miss  Causton?" 

"  Not  if  you  don't  wish  it,  Jeff " 

I  considered. 

"Has  she  asked  you  to  go?" 

"  No — but  if  you  wouldn't  mind — very; 
much " 

It  mattered  little  to  me,  but  I  had  to  pretend  to 
ponder  deeply. 

I  really  don't  know  whether  I  felt  sorrow  for  Miss 
Causton  or  not.  She  was  altogether  beyond  my  com- 
prehension. For  all  I  knew  my  sorrow  might  be 
an  impertinence.  So  I  must  seem  to  ponder. 


WOBURN  PLACE  179 

"Where  is  she?"  I  asked. 

"  She's  taken  rooms  in  Putney." 

"  Alone  ? "  I  asked,  with  a  quick  glance  at  Kitty. 

"Oh   yes!     .     .     .     Until   June   or   July,   that 

"  It  is  then  that  she  expects " 

"Yes.  .  .  .  And  I  thought,  Jeff,  that  per- 
haps next  Saturday — we  shall  be  out  that  way 

We  had  arranged  a  little  excursion  for  the  follow- 
ing Saturday,  the  four  of  us — Evie  and  Archie,  and 
Kitty  and  myself.  We  were  to  wander  on  Wimble- 
don Common. 

"  I  never  really  knew  her  well,  Jeff,  understood 
her,  I  mean,"  she  went  on,  "  but  after  all  I  did  see 
a  good  deal  of  her.  It's  horrible,  when  I  remem- 
ber the  things  she  used  to  say.  .  .  .  And — and 
— you've  made  such  a  difference  to  me,  darling — I 
wasn't  going — to  be  married — before.  ...  I 
should  like  to  go,  Jeff — just  once,"  she  begged. 

"  You  wouldn't  commit  yourself  to  anything  ? " 

"Oh  no!" 

"  Does  Evie  want  to  go  too  ? "  I  asked. 

"  No.  She  says  she  couldn't  bear  it  She  cried 
half  last  night  as  it  is." 

"  Then  you'd  call  on  your  way  next  Saturday,  and 
meet  the  three  of  us  later  ? " 

"  Yes." 

"Very  well,"  I  concluded.     "You'd  better  go." 


180    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

She  threw  her  arms  impulsively  about  my  neck. 

Then  a  change  came  over  her.  I  think  the  change 
began  with  the  failure  of  the  supply  of  gas  from 
the  penny-in-the-slot  meter.  She  had  arranged  for 
her  little  party  a  pink  tissue-paper  shade  about  her 
milky  globe,  an  idea  she  had  borrowed  from  Woburn 
Place;  and  slowly  its  colour  faded.  I  had  several 
pennies  in  my  pocket.  Quickly  I  felt  for  them. 

But  she  moved  closer  to  me.  I  was  still  on  my 
knees  by  her  deck-chair. 

"  Don't  bother  about  it — just  for  once,  Jeff,"  she 
murmured. 

She  could  do  it  with  impunity  now.  After  what 
had  passed  our  situation  could  hardly  be  common- 
place, and  our  nearness  was  as  little  compromising 
as  nearness  ever  can  be.  She  luxuriated  in  her  little 
perilous  letting-go — could  toy  with,  and  yet  be  im- 
mune from,  a  danger. 

Slowly  the  gas  expired,  and  the  firelight  glowed 
on  the  blue  and  white  check  tablecloth  and  the  dis- 
array of  tea-things  upon  it.  On  the  back  wall  of 
the  restaurant  yard  was  a  square  of  orange  light 
which  the  shadow  of  a  waiter's  head  crossed  from 
time  to  time.  I  don't  know  that  with  some  men 
— Mackie,  for  instance — her  position  would  have 
been  all  she  supposed  it  to  be,  but,  poor  heart,  she 
had  had  little  enough  experience  from  which  to  sur- 
mise that.  And  I  myself  could  hardly  be  said  to 


WOBURN  PLACE  181 

be  there  at  all.  She  lay  in  my  arms;  and  in  what- 
ever false  sweet  fancies  she  lay  endrowsed  she  was 
not  alone.  I  had  my  torturing  vision  too.  It  was 
neither  of  her  nor  of  Louie  Causton,  that  vision.  I 
was  trying  to  persuade  myself  that  she  was  another 
than  Kitty  Windus. 


VI 


OF  our  visit  to  Wimbledon  on  the  following  Sat- 
urday I  intend  to  say  as  little  as  may  be. 
When  you  have  read  it  you  will  not,  I  know,  ask  my 
reason. 

Archie  did  not  appear.  This  time  he  had  cause 
enough.  The  wire  which  was  handed  to  me  at  Rixon 
Tebb  &  Masters'  a  little  before  Saturday  midday 
(Polwhele  brought  it  to  me  with  a  look  that  said 
plainly,  "What  next?")  announced  that  his  father 
had  died  during  the  night,  and  he  had  despatched  it 
from  Victoria  Station  on  his  way  down  to  Guildford. 
Instantly  my  heart  leaped. 

Kitty  was  going  to  see  Miss  Causton.  If,  this 
new  tidings  notwithstanding,  Evie  would  still  keep 
to  the  engagement,  I  should  have  an  hour  with  her 
alone. 

I  persuaded  Evie  to  come.  At  first  she  obstinately 
refused,  but  I  had  the  support  of  Miss  Angela,  to 
whom  I  privately  whispered  the  desirability  of 
"  taking  her  mind  off  it."  We  left  Woburn  Place, 
the  two  of  us,  called  for  Kitty,  and  sought  the  Put- 
ney 'bus.  Kitty  left  us  at  the  corner  of  a  street  off 
the  !N"ew  King's  Road,  and  Evie  and  I  passed  on  to 

the  bridge. 

182 


WOBURN  PLACE  183 

That  was  about  four  o'clock,  and  Kitty  was  to 
rejoin  us  near  the  -Windmill  at  an  hour  that  would 
depend  upon  the  length  of  her  stay  with  Miss  Caus- 
ton.  She  expected  to  be  at  the  Windmill  by  five. 

But  at  five  there  was  no  sign  of  her,  nor  had  she 
appeared  by  half-past  five.  At  a  little  before  six 
I  said  to  Evie,  "  She'll  know  we've  gone  on  to  the 
nearest  place  to  tea,  and  will  follow  us.  Let's 
go " 

Not  far  from  the  Windmill,  on  the  Wimbledon 
side,  there  is  a  sort  of  small  hamlet,  with  cottages 
and  alleys  and  split-oak  palings,  and  a  refreshment 
house  at  the  end  of  a  garden.  There  Evie  and  I 
had  tea,  and  there  we  sat  after  tea,  waiting  for  Kitty. 
I  talked  of  this  and  that,  all  very  much  away 
from  the  two  subjects  uppermost  in  her  heart,  and  by 
half-past  six  I  had  given  Kitty  up. 

"  She's  missed  us,"  I  said.  "  We  may  happen  to 
run  across  her,  but  it's  no  good  waiting  here.  Shall 
we  take  a  turn  before  we  go  back  ? " 

We  left  the  refreshment-room,  and  walked  among 
the  gorse  and  birches  in  the  direction  of  Queen's 
Mere. 

It  was  a  green  and  amber  evening,  with  the 
shadows  already  deepening  over  Coombe  Woods  and 
the  calling  of  homing  rooks  in  the  air.  Here  and 
there  in  the  glades  family  parties  still  continued 
to  play  games  with  a  ball  that  was  quickly;  becom- 


184    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

ing  difficult  to  see,  and  lovers  appeared  among  the 
coppices.  The  blackthorn  was  over,  and  the  may 
hung  in  sprays  of  delicate  drooping  buds ;  and  in  the 
south-west  hung  the  pale  sickle  of  the  new  moon. 
Evie  and  I,  saying  little,  dropped  down  a  steep  over- 
grown alley  that  led  to  the  mere,  and  it  was  in  a 
sandy  bottom  at  the  foot  of  the  alley  that  I  heard  a 
distant  rasping  call.  Another  call  followed  it,  and 
then  a  throaty  thrilling,  and  then  another  short 
series  of  acrid  and  moving  calls. 

It  was  a  nightingale. 

By  the  time  we  had  reached  the  motionless  amber- 
green  water  it  had  broken  into  full  song. 

I  cannot  tell — hitherto  I  have  not  attempted  to 
tell — the  mystery  of  that  eve  and  of  the  song  with 
which  it  rang.  I  cannot  speak — nor  would  I  if  I 
could — of  the  responses  that  eve  and  that  song  called 
up  in  my  heart.  It  was,  I  think,  for  both  of  us  as 
if  that  bird's  voice  cried  aloud  all  that  we  had  left 
unuttered  during  the  past  few  hours.  Even  Louie 
Causton,  even  Archie's  father,  had  their  part  in  it. 
It  was  as  if  that  voice  spoke  of  the  feeble  and  in- 
finitely moving  wonder  of  birth — of  the  impinging 
of  that  relentless  shadow  that  closes  all — and  of  the 
griefs  and  joys  and  smarts  and  healings  again  of  the 
brief  passage  from  that  unknowing  to  this  forgetting 
again.  All  this  crowded  upon  me  in  that  exquisite 
agony  of  notes.  And  more  came,  until  I  could  hardly 


WOBUKN  PLACE  185 

endure  it.  There  was  no  poignancy,  no  utter  melt- 
ing and  surrender,  that  those  importunate  wellings 
did  not  give  to  the  falling  night.  The  unattainable 
greatness  of  Life  and  our  own  puny  reachings  forth 
for  that  greatness — Life's  glory  and  the  indignities 
of  the  miserable  livers  of  it — Life's  majesty  and  the 
nosings  and  burrowings  of  the  fallen  heirs  to  that 
majesty — all  these  shortcomings  were  reconciled  in 
the  song;  and  what  man  would  be,  that  for  an  hour 
he  was.  I  fail  in  expressing  this ;  Evie,  I  am  sure, 
did  not  seek  to  express  it;  but  in  that  loud  and  lost 
and  anguished  outpouring,  raptures  and  torments 
were  folded  together  as  in  an  Amen.  .  .  .  For 
one  moment  only  I  shuddered;  I  had  remembered 
that  but  for  an  accident  I  might  have  stood  by  that 
water,  listening  to  that  song,  with  Kitty  Windus,  but 
the  physical  convulsion  passed,  and  the  bird  sang 
on. 

I  had  not  looked  at  Evie.  I  do  not  think  she 
knew  she  had  drawn  a  little  closer  to  me.  Other 
listeners  had  been  attracted  by  the  melody,  but  we 
stood  in  a  shadow,  near  a  rill  that  fell  into  the  mere. 
The  water  was  nacre;  the  moon's  sickle  in  it  was  a 
thin  blade  of  amethyst;  and  I  thrilled  unspeakably 
as  the  bird's  song  changed  without  warning  to  long, 
low,  caressing  notes  that  drew  the  heart  out  of  me 
as  the  nectar-bag  of  a  floret  is  drawn  from  a  flower. 
I  heard  Evie's  slow  sob. 


186    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

Oh,  might  I  but  have  crushed  out  that  other  nectar, 
to  transmute  into  honey  of  our  own ! 

Suddenly  Evie  flung  herself  on  my  breast,  sobbing 
and  strangling.  Her  fingers  worked  at  the  lapel  of 
my  collar ;  by  bending  my  head  I  could  have  touched 
her  small  white  knuckles  with  my  lips.  I  was  con- 
scious that  in  my  efforts  not  to  do  this  I  bared  my 
teeth  like  a  dog,  but  I  remembered  in  time  that  to 
snatch  was  to  lose.  It  was  not  my  bosom  against 
which  her  bosom  heaved — it  was  the  nearest  sentient 
resting-place  on  which  she  could  lay  it.  Her  unhap- 
piness  and  her  happiness,  her  dream  and  her  disillu- 
sion, her  knowledge  and  her  already  failing  hopes, 
rushed  together  in  her  sobs.  Her  love  of  a  wastrel 
and  her  love  for  all  he  was  a  wastrel,  and  that  hid- 
den and  sacred  nook  from  which  Louie  Causton  had 
ruthlessly  ripped  the  curtain — for  the  pure  strange- 
ness of  these  things  her  tears  gushed  forth.  I  felt  the 
long  heave  of  her  body. 

"  Come,  come,  my  dear !  "  I  said,  with  an  infini- 
tude of  tender  encouragement,  close  to  her  ear. 

«  Oh— oh— oh!  "  she  sobbed. 

"  Dear,  dear  girl !  "  I  murmured,  passing  my  arm 
about  her  to  support  her. 

But  at  that  moment  I  could  no  more  have  said 
or  done  more  than  this  than  I  could  have  sued  for 
a  favour  by  the  bier  of  a  scarce-cold  lover. 


WOBURN  PLACE  187 

"  Hush,  poor  child !  "  I  whispered,  patting  her 
shoulder.  "  Come,  let's  go.  Let's  leave  that  dread- 
ful bird." 

"  Just  a — mi — mi — minute "  she  quavered. 

"  I — I — love  it — and  I  can't  bear  it " 

Even  so  did  I  love,  and  yet  could  scarce  bear  to 
hold  the  tender  form  in  my  arms. 

Presently  we  left  the  mere,  mounted  the  dark 
lane,  and  began  to  cross  the  common.  Her  hand 
was  now  on  my  sleeve,  and  it  did  not  leave  it  again. 
Once  her  fingers  made  an  impulsive  little  pressure 
on  it,  which,  I  cried  sternly  to  my  heart,  I  must  not 
regard.  But  God  knows  the  war  there  was  between 
the  sweetness  of  it  and  my  fortitude. 

"  Jeff,"  she  said  more  quietly  by-and-by,  using 
that  name  for  the  first  time.  "  I — I  couldn't  have 
borne  it  if  it  hadn't  been  for  you.  It  was  too — 

"  Never  mind,  dear,"  I  soothed  her.  "  Let's  walk 
a  little  more  quickly — your  aunt  will  be  wondering 
what's  become  of  you " 

She  laughed  tremulously.  "  Kitty  will  be  won- 
dering what's  become  of  you"  she  said.  Then  she 
added  timidly,  "  She's  a  lucky  girl!  " 

"Oh?     Why?"  I  asked. 

"You're  so— so " 

But  she  did  not  say  what. 


188    IN  ACCOEDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

We  turned  down  Putney  Hill. 

I  said  I  should  say  little  of  this,  and  I  shall  say 
no  more.  I  took  her  home,  but  did  not  go  in  with 
her,  neither,  though  I  ought  to  have  done  so,  did  I 
seek  Kitty.  I  went  home,  but  all  that  I  knew  of 
my  getting  there  was  that  I  found  myself  sitting, 
with  my  hat  and  coat  still  on,  on  the  edge  of  the  bed 
in  my  red-and-green-lighted  apartment. 

They  were  turning  out  from  the  public-house  be- 
low when  at  last  I  rose  sluggishly  and  began  to  pre- 
pare for  bed. 

For  half  the  following  week  I  was  outside  and  be- 
yond myself. 

But  exactly  a  week,  less  a  day,  from  that  Saturday 
on  which  I  had  held  Evie  in  my  arms  there  dropped 
a  thunderbolt  into  my  life.  On  that  Friday  evening 
I  had  gone  as  usual  to  the  cashier  for  my  wages,  and 
he  had  paid  me ;  but  as  I  had  turned  away  again  with 
my  eighteen  shillings  he  had  said,  as  if  giving  utter- 
ance to  an  afterthought,  "  Oh — Jeffries — we  find  we 
shall  not  require  your  services  after  this  week.  You 
can  have  your  notice  in  writing  if  you  would  prefer 
it." 

And  he  had  turned  to  pay  Sutt,  the  next  man  in 
the  queue. 


PAET  III 
THE  GAEKET 


POOR,  fussy,  well-meaning  Kitty  had  done  it — 
had  done  it  all  unwittingly.  In  telling  her 
vaguely  where  I  lived  I  had  left  the  number  of  my 
house  unspecified,  and  when  a  letter  had  come  for 
me  to  the  Business  College  on  an  evening  when  I 
had  announced  my  intention  of  being  away,  she,  in- 
spired by  the  urgency  of  my  affairs,  had  got  a  direc- 
tory and  readdressed  the  letter  to  me  at  Eixon  Tebb 
&  Masters'.  It  was  a  letter  from  the  firm  into  whose 
service  I  hoped  soon  to  enter,  and  I  examined  the 
flap  of  the  envelope  carefully  when  finally  it  did 
come  into  my  hands.  Polwhele  (I  have  little  doubt 
it  was  he)  had  steamed  it  open,  read  it  and  closed  it 
again. 

This  time  all  I  could  get  out  of  Gayns,  whom  I 
once  more  approached,  was  that  Eixon  Tebb  &  Mas- 
ters' had  no  use  for  an  employee  whose  mind  was 
already  elsewhere. 

It  was  true  that  the  sack  from  Eixon  Tebb  & 
Masters'  was  not  now  a  matter  of  the  first  import- 
ance. That  was  not  the  thunderbolt.  Scanty  as 
my  wages  were  I  had  still  saved  up  nearly  three 

191 


192    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

pounds  out  of  them ;  and,  as  the  letter  that  Polwhele 
had  tampered  with  contained  the  news  that  I  might 
hold  myself  in  readiness  to  begin  my  new  work  a 
month  from  that  date,  the  sum  was  enough  to  tide 
me  over.  But  the  letter  had  a  postscript.  This  was 
a  merely  formal  intimation  that  it  was  assumed  that 
I  could  produce  the  usual  references  of  steadiness, 
reliability  and  so  forth.  I  myself  never  dreamed 
that  I  should  be  denied  them. 

I  was  denied  them,  however,  by  Polwhele. 

"  But — but,"  I  stammered,  aghast. 

Polwhele  referred  me  to  my  real  employers,  the 
Agency.  I  gave  him  a  long  and  gradually  lowering 
stare. 

"  Do  you  mean "  I  began  slowly. 

"I  mean  what  I  say,"  he  snapped;  and  as  he 
turned  away  he  added  in  a  lower  voice,  "  You  ain't 
surprised,  are  you  ?  " 

And,  remembering  how  I  had  seen  him  with  his 
fingers  in  Mr  Masters'  waste-paper  basket,  I  could 
not  say  I  was. 

Again  I  sought  Gayns.  This  time  the  cashier  flew 
into  a  passion. 

"  Confound  you ! "  he  cried.  "  You're  more 
trouble  than  all  the  rest  of  them  put  together !  What 
is  it  now?  A  character?  Oh  yes,  you  can  have  a 
character!  I'd  advise  you  not  to  show  it  to  any- 
body, though!  First  leaving  us — then  coming  back 


THE  GARRET  193 

— then  days  off — then  dickering  with  other  firms! 
Go  to  Polwhele — go  to  the  Agency — go  to  hell !  " 

I  left  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  without  references. 

Without  references  my  new  firm  refused  to  have 
anything  whatever  to  do  with  me. 

I  come  now  to  the  deepest  slough  of  my  poverty. 

It  was  early  in  the  month  of  June  that  I  was 
thrown  out  of  work,  with  thirty-five  shillings  in  my 
pocket.  The  drizzling  winter  had  given  place  to  a 
glorious  early  summer,  and  the  days  increased  in 
heat  until  they  became  torrid.  Men  walked  Pic- 
cadilly at  night  in  evening  dress,  with  their  light  dust- 
coats  thrown  over  their  arms;  and  ragged  urchins 
hailed  the  appearance  of  watercarts  with  whoops  of 
joy  and  danced  barelegged  in  the  refreshing  puddles 
behind  them.  Horses  wore  straw  bonnets,  out  of 
which  their  ears  stuck  ludicrously  up ;  in  whole  dis- 
tricts the  water  supply  began  to  be  cut  off  at  certain 
hours  of  the  day;  the  pitiless  sun  gave  every  street 
the  appearance  of  a  hard,  hot  snapshot;  and,  as  the 
heat  got  on  people's  nerves,  the  cries  of  children  at 
play  became  intolerably  strident. 

My  corner  at  King's  Cross  was  well-nigh  insup- 
portable. Why  the  quantity  of  torn  paper  in  the 
gutters  should  redouble  the  moment  the  sun  begins 
to  glare  on  London  I  do  not  know,  unless  it  be  that 
the  fried  fish  and  ready-cooked  provision  businesses 
suddenly  boom;  and  certainly  the  refuse  in  which 


194    IN  ACCOBDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

I  frequently  walked  ankle-deep  was  mostly  heavy 
with  grease.  Even  had  I  been  able  to  afford  it,  my 
"  pull-up  "  had  now  become  such  a  stove  that  I  do 
not  think  I  could  have  entered  it.  I  dined,  or  rather 
supped,  late  at  night,  at  one  of  the  coffee-stalls  where 
the  electric  trams  now  sweep  round  from  Gray's 
Inn  Eoad  to  St  Pancras  Station;  and  I  breakfasted 
(my  only  other  meal)  on  bread  and  the  water  I  drew 
from  my  tap  on  the  landing  before  it  was  cut  off. 
The  council  didn't  save  much  in  my  case  by  cutting 
the  supply  off.  I  filled  every  vessel  I  could  lay  my 
hands  on  early  in  the  morning.  As  Miss  Causton 
had  once  said,  one  must  be  clean,  and  Archie,  whose 
bath  I  could  now  have  passed  my  days  in,  was  sel- 
dom to  be  found  in  his  rooms  near  the  Foundling 
Hospital  now. 

For  three  weeks  I  trudged  the  streets  looking  for 
work;  and  then  a  bit  of  luck  befell  me.  The  new 
"  professor "  at  the  college  broke  down,  under  the 
heat;  it  was  not  desired  to  give  up  the  Friday  even- 
ing advertisement-writing  class;  and  I  daresay  my 
anomalous  standing  at  the  place,  something  between 
student  and  pathetic  high-and-dry  "  institution,"  was 
the  cause  of  its  being  offered  to  me.  I  got  five  shil- 
lings for  the  evening,  and  that  five  shillings  kept  me 
for  five  days.  I  discovered  that  I  need  not  pay  my 
rent.  The  first  week  I  missed  doing  this  I  made  a 
shamefaced  apology  to  my  landlord,  the  publican, 


THE  GARRET  195 

and  discovered  that  he  was  not  a  bad  sort.  It  was 
too  hot  to  worry  about  trifles,  he  said,  and  so  set  him- 
self a  precedent  that  cost  him  pretty  dearly  until, 
long  afterwards,  I  saw  to  it  that  he  was  not  the  loser 
for  having  harboured  me  during  that  time. 

Wherever  I  sought  work  my  inability  to  produce 
a  character  damned  me ;  and  on  the  other  hand  I  was 
not  a  Discharged  Prisoner.  Two  or  three  times  I 
was  taken  on  casually,  once  as  a  packer  at  a  large 
furniture  emporium,  once  at  a  stocktaking  for  bank- 
ruptcy purposes,  and  once  (I  forget  how  I  tumbled 
into  this)  I  spent  a  whole  day  locked  in  an  upper 
room  of  a  town  hall,  counting  the  voting-papers  in 
some  borough  or  vestry  election — a  lucrative  ten- 
shilling  job.  This  was  before  I  got,  and  retained 
for  some  weeks  (until  I  had  the  Corps  of  Commis- 
sionaires down  on  me),  the  post  of  hall  porter  at  the 
offices  of  a  sporting  paper.  I  will  tell  you  about  that 
presently.  You  will  see  that  I  am  making  all  the 
haste  I  can  to  have  done  with  this  horrible  time. 

Among  other  things,  the  general  deterioration  in 
my  appearance  had  forced  me  to  tell  Kitty  Windus 
that  I  was  out  of  work.  But  I  had  made  light  of 
it,  saying  that,  on  the  whole,  it  was  rather  a  good 
thing,  as  I  needed  some  sort  of  a  spur;  but  I  dare- 
say Alf  and  Frank  had  said  the  same  thing  many 
a  time.  Presently  my  former  boastings,  about  the 
great  things  I  was  shortly  going  to  do,  had  committed 


196    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

me  to  the  lie  that  I  had  at  last  found  employment. 
It  was  my  week's  stocktaking  that  I  told  this  par- 
ticular lie  about,  and  Kitty  never  knew  when  that 
temporary  job  came  to  an  end.  Nor,  poor  girl,  did 
I  tell  her  what  she  had  done  when  she  had  forwarded 
that  letter  to  Eixon  Tebb  &  Masters'.  It  would  be- 
come me  ill  to  say  that  she  stuck  to  me  because  it  was 
myself  or  nothing  for  her;  already  I  had  begun  to 
dread  that  it  would  be  no  easy  matter  to  get  rid  of 
her  when  I  might  find  it  necessary  to  do  so:  and 
many  a  time,  as  my  despair  grew  upon  me,  sweep- 
ing all  personal  reluctances  and  physical  repugnances 
aside,  I  threw  pride  to  the  winds,  and  ate,  in  her 
sitting-room  in  Percy  Street,  the  only  food  I  had 
tasted  during  the  day — becoming  an  Alf  or  a  Frank 
in  very  fact. 

For — perhaps  this  was  partly  the  effect  of  the  un- 
relenting heat — her  insipid  coquetries  had  begun  to 
exasperate  me  more  and  more.  I  became  increas- 
ingly petulant  when  I  was  commanded  to  "  tiss  eentie 
finger"  and  to  look  into  the  little  scalene  triangles 
of  her  eyes  and  say  that  I  loved  her.  Presently,  I 
am  afraid,  I  began  to  cause  her  many  tears.  We 
wrangled  frequently.  I  was  "  near,"  I  was  "  close," 
I  did  not  treat  her  as  other  engaged  girls  were 
treated,  I  never  took  her  anywhere  except  for  a  bus 
ride,  or  to  a  cheap  theatre  once  in  a  blue  moon. 

Then  one  day,  without  warning,  she  brought  it  up 


THE  GARRET  197 

against  me  that  I  had  "  given  her  the  slip  "  that 
afternoon  on  Wimbledon  Common. 

Of  this  I  was  technically  so  innocent,  but  morally 
so  entirely  guilty,  that  I  broke  out  into  anger,  and 
there  was  a  scene. 

"  I  know  some  girls  are  younger  and  prettier  than 
I  am,"  she  broke  out,  with  unbridled  temper,  "  but 
you  did  ask  me  to  marry  you  after  all." 

"  So  I  did,"  I  admitted,  in  a  tone  that  made  her 
flame. 

"  Yes,"  she  cried  shrilly.  "  And  not  only  that — 
I've  seen  you  looking  at  Louie  Causton  too." 

"  Oh  ? "  I  said,  noting  with  relief  that  her  jealousy 
was  not  specially  of  Evie.  "  Well,  there  are  one  or 
two  pleasing  points  about  her." 

"And  she  was  the  only  one  you  danced  with  at 
the  party." 

"  Before  I  asked  you  to  marry  me  ?  " 

"  And  me — you've  never  once  taken  me  to  a  dance, 
though  I've  seen  Kachel  Levey  offer  you  tickets." 

"Perhaps  you've  seen  me  look  at  Miss  Levey 
too?" 

"  And  you  never  spoke  to  me,  and  sat  behind  the 
books  with  Louie." 

"Well,  there  only  remains  one  other  suggestion 
for  you  to  make." 

And  so  on.  It  was  degrading  in  the  extreme. 
But  I  was  sufficiently  punished  for  it  later,  when 


198    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

she  lay  with  her  head  on  my  breast,  sobbing  out 
phrases  of  contrition  for  her  vindictive  temper  and 
supplication  for  pardon. 

All,  all  gone  now  was  the  hour  of  exaltation  in 
which  I  had  heard  the  nightingale  sing  and  had  felt 
my  glowing  girl's  breast  heaving  against  my  own. 
I  was  a  hungry,  desperate  man,  living  a  life  against 
which  I  knew  I  should  not  be  able  to  bear  up  in- 
definitely, and  already  glancing  into  the  public- 
house  as  I  entered  by  my  side  door  and  beginning 
to  wonder  whether  they  were  not  wiser  than  I  who 
made  use  of  the  anodyne  of  drink.  Why  not  drink, 
and  forget  for  at  least  an  hour?  And  one  night, 
meeting  Mackie  again,  and  having  eaten  little,  I  did 
succumb,  and  for  the  first  time  in  my  life  got  drunk. 
I  got  drunk  at  his  expense.  He  had  heard  the  news 
of  Louie  Causton,  and  wanted  to  talk  about  it.  I, 
like  a  cur,  let  him.  ...  I  broke  away  from  him 
at  last,  but  not  until  my  loosened  tongue  had  said  I 
know  not  what. 

My  relation  with  Evie  during  this  time  is  difficult 
to  define.  She  never  quite  put  me  back  again  into 
the  place  I  had  occupied  before  that  Saturday  when 
we  had  heard  the  nightingale  together,  but  newer 
preoccupations  overlay  this  relation.  Archie  now 
had  money  (I  never  knew  quite  how  much)  at  his 
command;  but  he  still  showed  no  sign  of  putting  it 
to  the  use  Miss  Angela,  if  not  I,  had  expected — that 


THE  GARRET  199 

of  entering  into  a  formal  engagement  with  Evie. 
Miss  Angela  found  excuses  for  this  out  of  her  own 
imagination — that  his  father  had  only  lately  died, 
and  so  on ;  hut  I  could  have  set  her  right  even  then. 
I  knew  how  things  were  drifting.  From  the  little  I 
rememhered  of  my  talk  with  Mackie,  Archie  had 
found  in  his  coming  into  money  quite  another  op- 
portunity. What  might  have  facilitated  his  mar- 
riage with  Evie  actually  delayed  it.  He  was  getting 
rid  of  his  money  in  Leicester  Square  again. 

So  Evie's  name  was  associated  with  his,  and  yet 
there  was  no  plighting  between  them,  and  Evie 
swayed,  now  happy  but  with  a  fear,  now  despairing, 
but  not  hopelessly  so.  There  was  no  trouble  she 
could  have  brought  openly  to  me  even  had  she 
wished,  but  nevertheless  she  often  turned  to  me 
significantly  full  of  silence.  She,  Kitty  and  I  often 
walked  homewards  together  through  the  sweltering 
streets,  and  when  Evie  had  left  us  Kitty  would  speak 
her  mind  freely  about  Archie  Merridew. 

"  He's  one  of  the  Jewness  Dorey  now ! "  she  ex- 
claimed one  evening,  taking  the  phrase,  I  don't  doubt, 
from  one  of  her  "  better  class  "  novels.  "  And  it's 
no  good  saying  it's  got  nothing  to  do  with  us!  I 
think  you  ought  to  give  him  a  talking-to !  " 

This  was  in  the  typewriting-room  of  the  college, 
within  ten  minutes  of  the  close  of  an  advertisement- 
writing  evening. 


200    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"What  can  I  say  to  him?"  I  asked.  "It's  no 
business  of  mine."  She  little  knew  how  much  I 
had  made  it  my  business. 

"  Oh,  that's  just  like  a  man ! "  she  said  impa- 
tiently, all  aglow  with  the  esprit  de  sexe.  "  The 
poor  child's  moping  and  fretting,  and  you  say  it's 
no  business  of  yours !  Of  course  it's  the  business  of 
all  her  friends !  " 

"  Of  all  her  women  friends,  maybe,"  I  answered. 
"  Well,  if  that's  so,  why  don't  you  and  Miss  Angela 
have  a  talk  about  it  ? " 

"  As  if  we  hadn't — twenty ! "  she  cried.  "  You 
and  your  bright  ideas.  It  isn't  fair — it  isn't  fair 
to  Evie!" 

"  But  what  is  it  you  hope  for  ? "  I  asked. 
She   stared.     "Why,   that   he'll   marry   her,    of 
course ! " 

"  Quite  so.  But  I  don't  mean  that.  I  mean, 
do  you  and  Miss  Angela  think  you  can  bring  any 
pressure  to  bear  ? " 

"  Yes,  I  do — young  idiot !  "  she  broke  out.  "  He 
ought  to  be  ashamed  of  himself !  " 

And  I  didn't  doubt  that  a  certain  amount  of  pres- 
sure might  be  brought  to  bear.  If  it  was  made  less 
trouble  for  Archie  to  marry  than  not  to  marry,  he 
would  probably  marry.  He  had  not  manhood 
enough,  if  it  was  clearly  shown  that  marriage  was 
expected  of  him,  to  hold  out.  And  I  knew  how 


THE  GARRET  201 

those  marriages  turned  out.    ...    I  meditated. 

"But,"  I  objected,  "why  meddle?  You  know 
what  a  marriage  of  that  kind  would  be!  You  see 
what  he  is  anyway !  " 

But  here  I  had  touched  Kitty's  limitation.  Eor 
her,  as  for  her  novels,  marriage  was  the  end  of  the 
story.  If  joybells  closed  it  nothing  after  that  mat- 
tered, and  the  look  she  gave  me  was  a  personal  con- 
firmation. 

"  But,"  she  went  on  presently,  "  you  could  help, 
Jeff.  We  women  can't  talk  to  him — though  he's  not 
getting  very  many  smiles  from  me  just  now ! " 

I  smiled.  "  You're  an  unscrupulous  crew,"  I  re- 
marked. 

"  Will  you  see  him  3 " 

"Well— I  won't  say  I  won't." 

"But  will  you V 

"  Perhaps — if  I  see  a  fitting  opportunity." 

"  A  fitting.  Look !  "  Her  voice  dropped.  Evie 
had  just  come  into  the  typewriting-room  on  her  way 
to  wash  her  hands  before  leaving.  "  I'll  tell  you 
what,"  Kitty  said  quickly ;  "  you  go  along  with  her 
now.  See  if  it  isn't  as  I  say.  Then  tell  me  whether 
you  won't  give  that  little  idiot  a  dressing-down  at 
once." 

She  had  quite  forgotten  that  twinge  of  jealousy 
that  had  been  the  cause  of  our  recent  scene.  If  she 
hadn't,  the  more  honour  to  her  sense  of  sex  com- 


202    IN  ACCOEDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

radeship.  It  was  about  this  time  that  I  was  begin- 
ning quite  frequently  to  forget  that  our  relation  was 
that  of  lovers,  and  as  long  as  I  could  forget  that,  she 
had  pathetic  little  magnanimities  that  I  even  ad- 
mired. 

"  All  right,  if  you  wish  it,"  I  said. 

So  for  once  Evie's  society  was  absolutely  thrust 
upon  me. 

That  night  she  was  all  that  Kitty  had  said — 
plunged  in  despondency.  She  was,  of  course,  "in 
love  with  "  Archie,  but  that  after  all  is  only  a  gen- 
eric expression.  Even  love  comes  down  to  cases,  and 
I  think  that  in  her  case,  even  then,  she  was  won- 
dering whether,  had  things  happened  a  little  differ- 
ently, she  might  not  have  been  equally  "  in  love  " 
with  somebody  else.  Of  that  I  myself  had  never  a 
doubt.  With  Archie's  money,  or  even  a  decent  job, 
I  would  have  flouted  the  whole  world  in  my  trium- 
phant security  that  I  could  make  her  mine.  And 
I  should  do  so  yet.  Though  for  the  present  my 
power  might  go  a-begging,  I  vowed  that  it  should 
yet  be  taken  and  richly  paid  for.  The  dark  and 
solid  houses  were  less  solid  than  that  something  I 
knew  to  be  within  myself,  that  makes  and  unmakes 
houses  and  streets  and  towns  and  lands.  .  .  . 
But  gently,  gently;  I  was  not  out  of  the  mire  yet; 
by-and-by  would  be  time  enough  for  these  boastings ; 


THE  GARRET  203 

things  must  go  on  as  they  were  for  a  little  while 
longer. 

So  though  I  did  not  speak  a  word  to  her  that  night 
that  bore  directly  on  the  case  as  Kitty  understood 
it,  I  did  more.  I  diet — I  know  this  now — make  her 
feel  that,  glooms  and  delights  apart,  she  had  in  me  an 
affectionate  friend  to  whom  she  would  not  come  with 
troubles  in  vain.  I  have  been  told,  and  am  inclined 
to  believe  it,  that  I  have  this  power  with  women. 

And  her  eyes  were  soft  with  friendship  as  I  left 
her. 

"  Good  night,  Jeff,"  she  said  fondly,  as  I  took  her 
hand.  "  I  do  like  being  with  you  sometimes." 

And  that  night,  as  I  lay  half  suffocated  in  the 
room  I  did  not  even  pay  rent  for,  the  words  rang 
like  a  chime  in  my  head  until  the  morning  noises 
marked  the  beginning  of  another  torrid  day. 

The  commissionaire's  job  I  spoke  of  I  got  in  an 
odd  way.  I  got  it  through  the  combination  of  my 
unusual  size  with  unusual  strength.  I  was  walking 
along  Fleet  Street  that  day  when  a  horse  fell,  and 
I,  with  others,  helped  to  raise  it  again.  When  we 
had  finished,  a  man  at  my  elbow  spoke  both  casually 
and  penetratingly. 

"  That  was  as  good  as  anything  I've  seen  for 
weeks,"  he  said.  "  Have  you  had  much  practice  in 


204    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

holding  a  whole  horse  up  while  the  others  fasten,  the 
buckles  ? " 

I  laughed.  I  had  certainly  had  the  heavy  end  of 
the  job,  but  "  Not  quite  that,"  I  said. 

He  gave  nie  a  scrutinising  look.  "  Out  o'  work  ?  " 
it  seemed  to  say;  but  he  did  not  speak  the  words. 

"  Here,  come  and  have  a  drink,"  he  said. 

His  name  was  Pettinger.  He  was  a  sporting  journ- 
alist, and  so  a  judge  of  "  form  "  and  "  condition."  I 
was  not  in  the  best  of  either,  but  I  must  have  struck 
him  as  having  "  the  makings  "  of  I  don't  quite  know 
what.  He  gave  me  a  drink,  which  I  didn't  want, 
and  a  plate  of  sandwiches,  which  I  did  want  rather 
badly;  and  he  also  gave  me,  as  I  say,  this  commis- 
sionaire's job.  Pettinger  is  a  friend  of  mine  to  this 
day;  and  since  he  is  a  simple  and  lovable  animal  of 
a  fellow  (he  fully  concurs  in  this  description  of  him- 
self) he  is  the  only  man  I  can  bear  to  speak  much 
to  about  that  time  when,  clad  in  a  sky-blue  uniform, 
I  kept  the  door  of  his  newspaper  office,  touching  my 
cap  to  proprietors,  and  being  jocularly  prodded  by 
sportsmen  and  journalists,  as  if  I  had  been  an  ox  at 
Smithfield  Show. 


n 


IT  was  about  this  time  that  Archie  Merridew's 
light  was  once  more  beginning  to  show  regu- 
larly, evening  after  evening,  over  the  leads  of  his 
top  floor  near  the  Foundling  Hospital.  This  was 
after  a  period  of  months  during  which  his  abode 
had  been  in  complete  darkness.  But  as  his  visits 
to  the  college  had  become  infrequent,  and  as  I  did 
not  know  what  he  might  be  up  to,  I  had  kept  away. 

When,  some  little  after  my  commission  from 
Kitty,  I  did  look  him  up  again,  it  was  by  no  means 
that  I  might  deliver  Kitty's  message.  I  went, 
rather,  as  a  matter  of  attention  to  detail.  There 
were  certain  things  I  could  not  afford  not  to  know, 
and,  more  important,  there  were  certain  appearances 
I  could  not  afford  not  to  keep  up.  Nevertheless  I 
did  not  dream  with  what  consequences  my  visit  of 
that  evening  would  presently  be  fraught. 

I  was  in  a  state  of  great  nervous  irritability  be- 
fore I  went.  The  weather  still  continued  almost  in- 
supportably  hot,  and  to  my  other  discomforts  had 
been  added  a  new  perturbation  that  worked  on  me 
none  the  less  that  in  all  probability  it  was  quite 

groundless.     The  evening  papers  had  started  a  scare 

205 


206    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

about  "  low-flash  oil " ;  my  red  and  green  room  was 
little  cooler  than  a  furnace;  and  I  had  lately  begun 
to  glance  at  my  cheap  lamp  from  time  to  time  as  if 
it  had  been  a  bomb.  I  mention  this  merely  as  an  in- 
dication of  the  state  to  which  I  was  becoming  re- 
duced. I  thought  of  that  lamp,  I  remember,  as  I 
walked  from  the  college  to  Archie's  rooms  that  night 
and  half  hoped  in  my  peevishness  that  the  thing  had 
exploded  in  my  absence. 

It  was  only  ten  o'clock,  but  Archie  was  already 
in  bed.  He  wore  blue  silk  pyjamas  and  on  a  small 
table  by  the  side  of  his  bed  stood  a  medicine  bottle 
and  a  siphon;  but  when  I  asked  him  whether  he 
was  ill  that  he  had  need  of  these  last  he  made  light 
of  them.  It  was  this  beastly  weather,  he  said,  and 
perhaps  the  beastly  weather  also  accounted  for  his- 
drinking  the  milk  that  Jane  presently  brought  up 
in  a  sealed  bottle.  When  Jane  had  gone,  Archie, 
with  an  attempt  at  his  old  disarming  impertinence, 
turned  to  me  and  said,  "  Well — how's  the  blue  uni- 
form, Jeff?" 

Ah!     He  knew  of  that! 

"  Didn't  think  I'd  heard,  did  you  ? "  he  grinned. 
"  Well,  I  only  did  hear  yesterday.  Nothing  to  be 
ashamed  of,  old  chap.  I  know  one  of  your  fellows, 
you  know " 

I  too  knew  the  sub-editor  whose  name  he  men- 
tioned. He  was  something  of  a  bird  of  the  night 


THE  GARRET  207 

too.  Already  the  fact  that  Archie  knew  of  my  oc- 
cupation had  set  me  swiftly  revolving  the  new  dis- 
positions I  should  certainly  have  to  make  in  my  re- 
lation to  Kitty  and  Evie. 

"  Ah,  yes,"  I  said.  "  I  shouldn't  attempt  to  drink 
with  the  sub-editor  of  a  sporting  paper  if  I  were 
you.  You've  been  trying,  I  expect,"  I  added,  look- 
ing suspiciously  at  him.  He  seemed  drawn  and  ill. 
He  never  had  any  stamina. 

"  Sha'n't  tell  tales  out  of  school,"  he  replied,  with 
another  weak  attempt  at  his  old  facetiousness. 
"  Well,  how's  the  fair  Kitty  ? " 

111  as  he  was,  I  could  have  boxed  his  ears  for  the 
tone  of  it,  but  I  answered  his  question,  and  he 
grinned  again. 

"  Rare  good  sort,"  he  said  appreciatively. 
"  Give  us  a  splash  of  that  soda,  and  pass  those 
cigarettes,  Jeff.  .  .  ."  Then,  lighting  a  cigarette, 
"  Look  here,  you  old  scoundrel,"  he  said,  "  I've 
got  a  crow  to  pluck  with  you!  Guess  what  it 
is?" 

I  could  not. 

"  Well,"  he  leered.  "  I  saw  Mackie  the  other 
night." 

You  will  remember  what  had  happened  the  last 
time  I  myself  had  seen  Mackie. 

"  So  there !  "  he  triumphed,  after  some  recital  or 
other  that  had  for  its  point  my  single  fit  of  intoxica- 


208    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

tion.  "  Now  what  about  it,  you  old  humbug  ?  "  he 
demanded. 

I  knew  I  must  keep  my  face  and  smile.  I  did  not 
know  why  I  must  do  these  things,  but  I  did  them, 
looking  at  him  and  noticing  again  how  sallow  and 
changed  he  was.  Then  I  looked  about  the  room, 
mentally  commenting  on  the  evidences  of  the  patri- 
mony that  had  done  him  so  little  good — his  new 
dressing-gown,  his  silver-topped  bottles,  and  a  new 
travelling-case,  these  things  thrown  anyhow  among 
his  older  belongings.  One  of  the  newer  objects  I 
held  in  my  hand ;  it  was  the  gold  cigarette  case  I  had 
passed  him ;  and  I  gazed  smiling  at  it  as  he  went  on. 

"  Yes,"  he  told  me,  with  humorous  accusation ; 
"  Mackie  told  me  all  about  it — ha  ha  ha !  What 
price  the  old  puritan  Jeff  now  ?  Eh  ?  Sad  dog,  sad 
dog!" 

I  replied,  quite  calmly,  that  the  dissipations  of 
commissionaires  were  limited  by  their  circumstances. 

"  And  what  the  devil  are  you  doing  being  a  com- 
missionaire ? "  he  demanded.  "  I'll  tell  you  what 
it  was,  Jeff,"  he  continued  familiarly,  "  that  failure 
in  Method  seems  to  me  to  have  broken  you  all  up. 
What  the  dickens  made  you  fail  ? " 

I  was  conscious  of  an  interior  stirring  of  hate. 
What,  indeed,  had  made  me  fail ! 

"  Oh,  over-confidence,  I  suppose,"  I  answered 
lightly. 


THE  GARRET  209 

And  he  continued  to  talk. 

At  last  I  rose  and  said  good-night.  He  raised 
himself  on  one  elbow  in  order  to  shake  hands. 

"  Come  in  again  and  see  a  chap  soon,"  he  said. 
"  It's  hellish  slow  up  here  all  alone." 

I  was  already  at  the  door,  but  I  turned  abruptly. 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  "  I  said.  "  Do  you  mean 
you're  laid  up  ?  You  said  you  weren't." 

But  he  only  gave  a  confused  little  laugh.  "  Eh  ? 
Laid  up?  Of  course  not!  Can't  a  chap  turn  in 
early  once  in  a  while  ? " 

"VOnce  in  a  while'?  .  .  .  But  you 
said " 

"  That  you  might  come  in  and  see  me  ?  Well,  do. 
No  harm  in  that,  is  there  ?  Say  I'm  going  slow  for 
a  bit,  that's  all,"  he  added. 

I  agreed  with  him  that  to  "  go  slow  "  for  a  bit  was 
a  course  he  might  with  advantage  have  adopted  some 
time  ago,  and,  though  considerably  puzzled,  I  turned 
slowly  away. 

My  lamp,  I  discovered  when  I  reached  my  dwell- 
ing again,  had  not  exploded  in  my  absence;  but  I 
did  not  light  it.  This  was  not,  of  course,  through 
any  actual  fear;  it  was  merely  part  of  my  general 
nervous  condition.  I  remember,  as  still  further  ex- 
plaining that  condition,  that  I  had  passed  a  Board 
School  that  day  as  the  children  had  poured  out  for 
their  morning  recess  of  a  quarter  of  an  hour;  I  have 


210    IN  ACCOEDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

eaid  how  more  than  commonly  strident  the  heat 
seemed  to  make  all  noises;  and  at  the  sudden  out- 
burst of  the  children  I  had  broken  into  a  copious 
flood  of  perspiration.  I  was  not  much  steadier 
now.  Pushing  the  lamp  aside  I  flung  up  my  win- 
dow as  high  as  it  would  go,  drew  out  my  old  string- 
mended  chair,  and,  sitting  down,  began  to  stare 
at  the  " Sarcey's  Fluid"  advertisement  across  the 
way. 

The  rippling  of  its  incandescents  had  a  trick  that 
always  fascinated  and  irritated  me  intensely.  Be- 
fore the  last  letter  of  the  first  word  was  an  apos- 
trophe, but  its  single  bright  spot  always  appeared 
out  of  its  proper  order.  S — A — "R — ,  and  so  on,  the 
thing  ran,  but  the  whole  legend  was  complete  before 
that  apostrophe  started  into  its  place.  I  used  some- 
times to  watch  as  if  I  hoped  the  whole  mechanism 
might  suddenly  alter,  but,  of  course,  it  never  did.  I 
began  to  watch  it  again  that  night,  while  my  ceiling 
and  the  wall  above  my  bed  became  red  and  green, 
red  and  green,  red  and  green.  .  .  . 

I  am  afraid  that  what  I  am  now  about  to  say  I 
shall  have  to  ask  you  to  take  on  trust.  I  have  no 
evidence  to  offer  of  a  phenomenon  that,  I  am  told, 
is  shared  by  madness  and  genius  alike.  Nor  will  I 
trouble  you  either  with  any  talk  of  prevision  or  of 
inner  certitude,  nor  with  the  gradually  deepening 
brooding  that  led  up  to  this  phenomenon — the  brood- 


THE  GARRET  211 

ing  over  the  countless  slights  and  slurs  and  rubs  I 
had  suffered  from  Archie  Merridew's  reckless  and 
ignorant  tongue  ever  since  I  have  known  him — my 
appearance,  my  private  affairs,  the  side-splitting  joke 
of  Jeffries  being  in  love.  I  will  pass  straight  to  the 
sudden  and  complete  illumination  that,  as  I  sat  there, 
so  irradiated  my  intelligence  that  I  wondered  why 
it  had  come  to  me  now,  an  hour  later,  and  not  then, 
the  moment  I  had  seen  him  lying  at  that  extraordi- 
narily early  hour  in  bed. 

It  came,  this  flash  of  illumination,  in  exactly  the 
same  manner  as  the  changing  of  the  electrograph  be- 
fore my  eyes — and,  as  you  will  see  in  a  moment, 
with  the  same  bloody  apostrophe.  And  with  its 
coming  my  room  was  not  more  suffused  with  the 
crimson  glare  than  my  mind  suddenly  was  with  the 
same  morbid  and  flaming  and  dangerous  hue. 

7  had  suddenly  realised  what  was  really  the  matter 
with  Archie. 

Let  me  now  tell  you  the  kind  of  man  I  have  some- 
times, though  possibly  mistakenly,  supposed  myself 
to  be. 

He  has  aspired,  that  man,  I  have  sometimes  sup- 
posed myself  to  be,  to  the  stars;  but  his  feet  have 
also  known  the  burning  bottom  of  the  pit.  His 
heart  has  been  lifted  up  until  sometimes,  through 
eyes  drowned  with  tears,  he  has  had  his  poor  and 
fragmentary  glimpse  of  a  larger  Fatherhood  than 


212    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

earth  knows;  but  he  has  also  exchanged  intelligence 
with  the  devil.  His  heart  has  flowered  with  loves 
and  charities;  but  that  same  heart  has  also  been  a 
rock  with  a  toad  in  it.  He  was  born  in  heaven,  but 
has  lodged  in  hell.  So  in  him,  according  as  he  has 
been  used,  have  opposites  met. 

And  yet,  as  I  say,  I  may  be  wrong  in  supposing 
that  I  am  this  man. 

Yet  the  man  who,  in  my  red  and  green  room  that 
night,  leaped  up  from  his  chair,  and  with  a  burst- 
ing, ringing  cry  shook  his  hand  on  high,  was  not  the 
James  Herbert  Jeffries  who  now  writes  this  feverish 
shorthand.  He  who  writes  the  shorthand  was  not 
the  same  James  Herbert  Jeffries  who  stood,  with  those 
violent  dyes  flooding  his  face,  vowing  that  if  that 
sick  young  buyer  of  infected  merchandise  dreamed 
for  one  instant  of  doing  that  which  it  was  sought 
to  make  him  do,  and  which  apparently  he  was  ready 
to  do,  he  should  pay  for  it  with  the  last  thing  he  had 
to  give.  That  James  Herbert  Jeffries  was  plunged 
in  that  hour  into  a  place  of  stench  and  infernal 
brightness  that  God  forbid  was  ever  his  destined 
abode. 

I  cried  aloud,  shaking  my  fist  up  at  my  cracked 
and  blackened  ceiling: 

"  Though  Christ  died  for  man  in  vain  .  .  . 
let  him  but  think  of  it  .  .  .  let  him  .  .  . 
let  him  and  I  .  ." 


THE  GARRET  213 

After  that  I  passed  into  a  curious  state  of  mind. 
You  have  heard  how  I  make,  when  I  can,  anger 
serviceable  to  me,  but  here  was  an  anger  past  my 
bringing  into  control.  Yet,  as  ordinarily  I  plan 
calmly,  so  was  I  calm  up  to  a  certain  point  now. 
The  result  of  these  two  things  was  that  my  brain 
worked  like  a  worn  and  cranky  machine,  sometimes 
doing  more  than  it  ought,  sometimes  less ;  sometimes 
jerking  startlingly  ahead,  sometimes  refusing  to 
work  at  all.  And  as  there  was  thus  no  continuity  in 
my  thought,  and  as  my  recollections  are  curiously  as- 
sociated with  that  changing  red  and  green  that  now 
for  the  first  time  seems  to  me  to  have  run  through  my 
story  like  a  fateful  burden  of  jealousy  and  blood, 
I  will  set  down  such  isolated  reflections  as  rise  of 
themselves  out  of  the  jumble  of  my  mind. 

Crime  (I  realise  that  the  word  leaps  with  some 
suddenness  into  these  pages)  has  suffered  more  at 
the  hands  of  criminals  than  it  has  at  the  hands  of 
justice.  There  are  few  perfect  crimes.  Most  of 
them  are  accidental,  the  mere  explosion  of  momen- 
tary passion.  And  that  is  well,  for  the  world  wants 
few  masterpieces  in  that  sort.  I  have  not  read  De 
Quincey's  essay  on  the  subject,  nor  ever  shall  now; 
but  if  crime  is  to  be  considered  as  an  artistic  medium, 
it  is  the  only  medium  in  which  bungling  is  better 
worth  to  the  world  than  competence.  Other  arts  one 


214    IN  ACCORDANCE  .WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

prefers  to  see  superlatively  practised  or  not  at  all; 
but  it  is  only  of  the  bungled  crime  that  man  can  en- 
dure to  think. 

The  ordinary  criminal  begins  at  the  wrong  end. 
Dull  fellow  that  he  is  he  does  not  recognise  that 
his  first  task  must  be  the  creation  of  an  attitude 
of  mind.  Or  if  a  glimmering  of  this  does  cross 
his  inflamed  consciousness,  he  thinks  that  it  is  the 
attitude  of  his  own  mind  that  is  of  the  first  con- 
sequence. That  is  why  he  suffers  either  the  retribu- 
tion of  justice  or  the  visitings  of  his  own  conscience. 
In  either  of  these  cases  his  act  is  unsuccessfully  com- 
mitted. He  pays  in  common  with  his  victim. 

It  is  not  the  injured  man  who  knows  the  full 
quality  of  hate.  It  is  the  one  who  injures.  The 
injurer  has  no  refuge  from  his  own  transgression; 
he  has  him  whom  he  has  injured  constantly  upon 
his  mind — perhaps  upon  his  soul.  Another  is  the 
lord  of  his  peace  of  mind.  Thus  it  is  peculiarly 
the  wronged  man's  part  to  pardon,  but  when  the 
wronged  man  would  not  pardon,  but  would  avenge 
for  another's  sake? 

Could  Archie  be  given  a  mind  more  sensitive 
than  a  stone?  Could  his  weak  and  spongy  nature 
bo  hardened  to  a  point  of  view?  Could  such  an 


THE  GARRET  215 

attitude  be  created  in  him  that  what  otherwise  would 
have  been  an  assault  would  take  on  the  stern  justice 
of  a  punishment  ?  Can  any  dull  or  egotistical  mind 
be  either  punished  or  rewarded?  Ultimately,  can 
the  God  who  created  it  do  anything  save  quench  it 
again?  Wickedness  may  be  vanquished  at  the  last, 
but  Ignorance ?  And  Conceit ? 

But  bah!  Probably  he  was  not  even  thinking 
of  it.  Perhaps  he  was  even  now  seeking  a  way 
out.  Well,  I  would  help  him.  Ten  words  to  him 
in  private.  .  .  .  Faugh! 

So  that  was  it.  ...  And  the  world  allows  it ! 
Could  he  be  proved  to  be  merely  insane  at  the  time 
of  his  marriage  the  world  would  not  allow  it ;  a  men- 
tal insufficiency  beyond  his  control  would  be  a  bar; 
but  this  other,  that  he  had  deliberately  sought,  would 
be  allowed.  And  Evie  .  .  . 

That  bloody  apostrophe  again!     .     .    , 

THe  criminal  forgets  too  much  in  tKe  moment 
of  action.  It  is  a  sort  of  stage  fright.  Rehearsed 
perfectly,  however.  .  .  .  Not  that  the  thing  is 
not  admittedly  difficult.  A  button,  a  fingerprint,  a 
drop  of  blood,  the  resources  of  the  laboratory,  the 
microscope,  the  spectroscope — oh  yes,  it  cannot  be 
said  that  there  is  not  a  deal  to  watch.  And  a  mem- 


216    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

ory,  a  chance  association  years  afterwards,  an  attack 
of  debility  rendering  the  eyes  subject  to  deceits — 
any  one  of  these  things  may  at  any  moment  throw 
him  into  the  hands  of  the  law  as  a  fate  more  merciful 
than  that  which  he  has  not  been  clever  enough  to 
forestall  within  himself.  Yes,  there  is  much  to  con- 
sider; but  then,  as  all  the  world  knows,  masterpieces 
of  crime  or  what  not,  are  difficult  of  accomplish- 
ment. 

Ten  words,  then,  on  the  morrow,  and  he  would 
never  dare  .  .  . 

But  bah!  I  was  not  even  sure!  He  could  not 
be  contemplating  it,  and  I  was  vile  to  think  it. 
.  .  .  Still,  prudence.  I  must  make  sure.  Till 
then,  nothing — not  even  these  thoughts  that  ticked 
as  if  out  of  a  tape-machine  from  my  brain.  To- 
morrow .  .  . 

Yet,  ah!     I  was  sure  for  all  that! 
This  red  and  green,  this  red  and  green ! 

These  are  such  fragments  of  it  all  as  I  can  re- 
member. I  don't  know  how  long  they  occupied 
me.  I  had  begun  to  trace  with  my  fingers  little 
patterns  on  the  deal  top  of  my  table,  patterns  that 
sometimes  had  a  meaning  for  me,  sometimes  not, 


THE  GAKRET  217 

but  that  always  had  a  meaning  for  Archie  Merridew 
if  he  thought     .     .     .     if  he  as  much  as  thought 

Then  the  red  and  green  advertisement  was  switched 
off  suddenly.  Only  a  rhomb  of  dim  gaslight  on  my 
ceiling  remained.  .  .  . 

But  I  still  sat  in  the  darkness,  my  brain  taking 
those  backward  and  forward  jerks,  and  my  lips 
muttering,  though  without  sound,  that  if  he  dreamed 
.  if  he  as  much  as  dreamed  *  •  • 


Ill 


IT  was  a  ?'  record  "  even  for  myself  to  get  the  sack 
twice  in  one  week,  but  that  now  befell  me.  They 
gave  me  no  notice  at  the  newspaper  office,  but  they 
were  decent,  and  I  had  a  fortnight's  wages  in  lieu 
of  it.  Pettinger  especially  showed  himself  my 
friend. 

"  It's  rough  on  you,"  he  said,  ?*  but  I  really  don't 
see  that  anybody's  to  blame.  .  .  .  Look  here, 
I'll  tell  you  what  we'll  do.  Go  down  to  my  place 
at  Bedford;  I'll  telephone  them  you're  coming;  and 
you  can  do  what  there  is  to  do  in  my  garden  for  a 
week  or  two  until  something  turns  up.  You  won't 
mind  working  under  the  old  chap  I've  got  there? 
Eight.  Off  you  go.  You've  got  your  money,  haven't 
you?" 

"  I  shall  have  to  come  up  for  Friday  evening ;  I've 
a  class,"  I  said. 

"Well,  have  a  change  till  then.  You  look  as  if 
you  need  it.  Catch  the  twelve-fifty,  and  I'll  tele- 
phone them  now." 

So  I  took  off  my  sky-blue  uniform  and  wondered, 
as  I  folded  it  neatly  and  laid  it  aside,  where  they 

were  going  to  find  the  next  man  it  would  fit. 

218 


THE  GARRET  219 

This  was  at  half-past  ten  in  the  morning,  so  that 
I  had  some  hours  to  spare.  Ten  minutes,  if  I  could 
catch  him,  would  suffice  for  all  I  had  to  say  to  Archie 
Merridew,  and,  as  he  was  not  an  early  riser,  and  had 
told  me  that  he  was  not  spending  his  days  in  bed, 
I  hoped  to  find  him  before  he  went  out.  But  as  the 
Business  College  lay  on  the  way  I  determined  to 
call  there  first.  I  walked  up  Chancery  Lane  into 
Holborn. 

But  he  had  not  arrived  at  the  college  when  I 
got  there,  and  I  did  not  wait  for  him.  I  had  walked 
home  with  him  often  enough  to  know  his  unvarying 
route,  and  I  set  off  for  his  place  half  expecting  to 
meet  him  on  the  way.  But  I  did  not  meet  him,  so 
I  knocked  at  the  brass  knocker  of  his  ivy-green  door. 

Jane  told  me  he  had  only  that  moment  gone  out. 

"  To  the  college  ?  "  I  asked. 

Jane  thought  so,  but  was  not  sure. 

"If  I  don't  see  him  I'll  call  again,"  I  said. 
"Tell  him,  will  you?" 

I  returned  to  the  Business  College,  and  there 
waited,  talking  to  Kitty,  who  had  just  arrived. 

Kitty  seemed  extremely  embarrassed  that  morning, 
and  of  course  I  guessed  the  reason.  She  had  heard 
of  the  sky-blue  uniform,  doubtless  through  Archie. 
(For  two  nights  I  had  not  seen  her.)  I  was  none 
the  less  sure  of  this  that  she  did  not  mention  the 
circumstance  directly;  nor  did  she  comment  on 


220    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

being  at  liberty  at  that  unusual  hour  of  the  morn- 
ing. Presently  she  said: 

"  I  don't  think  he'll  come  this  morning  now.  He 
may  this  afternoon." 

"  I  can't  wait  till  the  afternoon,"  I  said,  glanc- 
ing at  the  little  clock  on  the  mantelpiece  of  the  type- 
writing-room— the  little  clock  that  had  given  the 
"  Ting  "  that  had  startled  me  so  on  the  day  of  the 
examination  in  Method. 

"  Is  it  anything  I  can  tell  him  ? " 

That,  of  course,  was  quite  out  of  the  question. 
"  I'll  see  if  he's  back  home  yet,"  I  replied. 

Then  Kitty's  uneasiness  and  curiosity  got  the  bet- 
ter  of  her  delicacy  about  the  sky-blue  uniform.  She 
looked  fixedly  at  her  thin  "wrists  and  her  fingers  gave 
little  touches  to  the  lace  about  them  as  she  spoke. 

"  Jeff,"  she  said  timorously,  "  I  don't  know 
whether  you  know  what — what  they're  saying  about 
you — I'm  sure  it's  a  hideous  lie,  but — but  it's  upset 
me  frightfully — • — "  She  stopped  abruptly,  and 
seemed  even  then  to  wish  she  had  not  spoken. 

"  You  seem  very  easily  upset  nowadays,"  I  said 
shortly,  quite  ready  to  quarrel  if  needs  be. 

But  she  ignored  my  tone.  "You  know  they're 
saying — everybody's  saying — all  the  people  here,  I 


mean." 


"What?"  I  demanded. 

But  her  courage  failed  her.     She  stopped  the  fid- 


THE  GARRET  221 

dling  at  her  wrists,  and,  giving  me  a  long  look 
said,  "You  know  I  love  you,  Jeff,  whatever  hap- 
pens  " 

It  was  what  I  had  begun  to  fear — that  there  would 
be  no  shaking  her  off.  She  was  far,  far  too  faithful. 

"  I  see,"  I  said  slowly.  "  I  know  what  you  mean. 
.  .  .  -Well,  it  was  quite  true.  I  was  a  commis- 
sionaire— until  an  hour  ago.  They've  sacked  me. 
.  .  .  I  suppose  Archie  told  you  ?  " 

"Girl-faced  little  wretch!     But,  Jeff " 

I  took  her  up.  "  Well,  it's  that  that  I  want  to 
see  him  about.  But  as  regards  you  and  me — if  you 
want  it  to  make  a  difference " 

It  was  a  plain  offer  to  release  her,  but  I  don't 
think  she  understood  it  as  that.  Indeed,  her  man- 
ner puzzled  me  entirely.  It  was  eager,  shrinking, 
wistful  and  apprehensive  all  at  once,  and  she  ap- 
peared to  be  trying  to  shake  off  something — some- 
thing preposterous.  Well,  that  sky-blue  uniform  had 
been  preposterous  enough. 

"  It  shall  make  a  difference — if  you  wish,"  I  of- 
fered again  proudly. 

"  No,"  she  murmured,  apparently  understanding 
this  time,  and  busy  with  her  lace  again. 

Then  I  entered  into  I  know  not  what  fantastic 
explanation  of  the  curious  fact  that  a  man  with 
the  world  in  his  grasp  should  have  chosen  to  touch 
his  cap  to  editors  and  proprietors.  She  tried  to  look 


222    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

as  if  she  believed  me,  but  it  was  plain  that  she  didn't 
in  the  least.  Once  or  twice  she  tried  to  interrupt 
me,  but  my  patience  was  quickly  running  out. 

"  So  you  see  how  it  was,"  I  said  at  last,  dropping 
my  voice  as  Weston,  the  secretary-bird  passed.  "  It 
was  no  business  of  his,  and  I  want  to  know  what  he's 
got  to  say  about  it.  You  can  tell  him  so  if  you 
like." 

Again  that  inexplicable  look  of  timorousness  came 
into  her  small  eyes. 

"  You  mean  the  commissionaire's  job,  of  course  ?  " 
she  said. 

"  I  mean  the  commissionaire's  job,"  I  replied. 

That,  I  thought  with  satisfaction,  would  cover  my 
real  reason  for  wishing  to  see  Archie  as  well  as  any- 
thing else. 

Weston  passed  again,  and  gave  me  a  look.  That 
look  struck  me.  It  was  just  such  a  look  as  a  police- 
man might  give  a  loiterer  whom  he  suspects,  yet 
against  whom  he  has  no  charge ;  and  I  felt  my  colour 
mount  a  little.  That  tattling  little  animal!  Little 
he  cared,  as  long  as  he  had  his  joke,  that  my  five 
shillings  was  put  in  jeopardy.  For  a  business  col- 
lege that  styles  itself  advertisement  writer  "  profes- 
sor" naturally  doesn't  want  commissionaires  on  its 
staff,  and  I  saw  my  second  dismissal  looming  ahead. 

Then,  with  a  new  and  cautious  idea  in  my  head, 
I  turned  to  Kitty  again. 


THE  GARRET  223 

"  On  second  thoughts,"  I  said,  "  don't  say  any- 
thing to  Archie  about  my  wanting  an  explanation. 
I'll  settle  with  him.  After  all,  it  was  bound  to  come 
sooner  or  later.  It  doesn't  much  matter.  I'll  see 
to  it.  ...  Well,  I'm  off.  Good-bye,  dear.  I 
don't  think  I  shall  be  able  to  see  you  again  till  Fri- 
day." 

And  I  left  her,  nodded  to  Weston,  and  passed  out 
I  daresay  you  guess  what  my  new  and  cautious 
idea  was.  I  had  something  of  the  last  privacy  to 
say  to  Archie;  it  was  just  as  well  that  I  should 
have  the  cloak  of  comparatively  trivial  personal  re- 
monstrance to  cover  it;  but  this  was  only  part  of  it. 
The  truth  was  that  my  brain  had  suddenly  taken 
another  of  those  startling  leaps  forward.  In  some 
conceivable  last  event  (I  was  not  planning  one,  you 
understand ;  it  was  merely  that  my  mind  was  work- 
ing somewhere  ahead,  independently  and  beyond  my 
control)  it  might  be  necessary  that  I  should  have  no 
personal  quarrel  with  him.  In  such  an  event  none 
must  suppose  that  our  relation  had  been  other  than 
amicable.  Yet  I  should  be  overdoing  this  (purely 
anticipatory)  prudence  to  pass  over  the  episode  of 
the  sky-blue  uniform  entirely.  The  thing  was,  or 
might  become,  a  matter  of  nicely  measured  propor- 
tions. Already  I  was  making  the  slight  private 
affront  serve  my  turn;  presently  I  might  want  to 
make  the  pardon  of  that  affront  serve  my  turn  also. 


224    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

This  kind  of  thing  is  what  I  mean  by  the  creation 
of  an  attitude  of  mind  and  "  attention  to  detail" 

I  made  one  more  attempt  to  find  Archie  as  I 
•walked  to  St  Pancras,  but  he  was  still  not  at  home. 
Then  I  had  to  run  for  my  train. 

I  worked  in  Pettinger's  garden  that  week,  carry- 
ing water,  wheeling  barrows,  and  filling  baskets  with, 
fruit  as  I  passed  between  the  canes.  Pettinger  was 
away  for  two  nights,  but  on  the  third  evening  he  came 
up  to  me  as  I  was  pushing  a  heavy  roller  over  the 
lawn  and  began  to  talk.  I  think  he  began  for  the 
sake  of  a  pleasant  word  or  two,  but  something  I  said 
seemed  to  engage  his  interest,  an  hour  or  more  passed, 
and  then,  as  the  phlox  and  canterbury  bells  began  to 
glimmer  in  the  twilight,  he  suddenly  said,  "  Leave 
this  and  come  inside — we  can  talk  comfortably 
there." 

We  went  in.  I  shall  never  forget  that  night.  It 
was  made  memorable  by  the  fact  that  master  and 
gardener  talked  till  two  o'clock  in  the  morning. 

"  Well,  Jeffries,"  he  said  at  last,  with  a  sleepy 
yawn,  "you're  an  extraordinary  chap.  I'm  afraid 
you've  made  rather  a  lot  of  work  for  me  this  last 
Lour  or  two." 

"How  so?  "I  asked. 

"  Well,  I  was  going  to  try  to  get  you  a  job  some- 
thing like  your  last,  but  you're  a  difficult  man  to 
find  a  job  for.  I  won't  ask  you  whether  you  know 


THE  GARRET  225 

you're  extraordinary;  of  course  you  know  you  are; 
and  I'm  going,  if  I  can,  to  give  you  a  chance — a  real 
chance — not  like  that  other — those  cut-throats — 
what's  their  name." 

I  had  told  him  about  Rixon  Tebb  &  Masters'  and 
the  rest  of  it. 

"  I've  a  bit  of  a  pull  here  and  there,"  he  went 
on  sleepily.  "There's  the  '  Freight  and  Ballast 
Company ' — I  know  a  couple  of  their  men — but  we'll 
talk  about  that  in  the  morning.  I'm  off  to  bed. 
Hope  they've  made  you  comfortable  ?  " 

It  does  not  come  within  the  scope  of  my  present 
tale  to  speak  of  my  later  rapid  rise;  but  I  may  say 
now  that  I  owed  my  chance  to  Pettinger  and  to  the 
berth  he  got  me,  with  the  coming  of  winter,  in  the 
offices  of  the  "  Fl  B.  C." 

I  remained  in  his  house  all  that  week;  then,  on 
the  Friday  evening,  I  took  a  return  ticket  to  town 
in  order  to  attend  my  class. 

I  had  not  been  half-an-hour  in  the  college  that 
evening  before  I  was  aware  that  something  had  hap- 
pened. Archie  Merridew  was  not  there,  but  Evie 
was,  and  so  was  Kitty  Windus.  I  went  through 
my  work  as  usual,  and  then,  at  half-past  nine,  sought 
Kitty.  It  was  she  who  told  me  the  news. 

"  You've  not  heard,  have  you  ? "  she  asked,  with 
a  glance  towards  the  senior  students'  room,  through 
which  Evie  had  just  passed.  Again  she  was,  in  some 


226    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

manner  I  could  not  understand,  eager,  reserved,  ap- 
prehensive and  fidgety  all  at  once. 

"Heard  what?  "I  asked. 

"About  Evie.  It's  come  off.  She  and  Archie 
are  properly  engaged." 

From  that  moment  dated  a  division  of  me  into 
two  separate  men;  of  which  I  shall  have  more  to  say 
presently. 

"  Oh?  "  I  replied,  with  complete  calm.  "  That's 
good  news  indeed !  Wait  here  a  minute — I'll  speak 
to  her — don't  go,  for  I  want  to  see  you." 

I  met  Evie  returning  with  her  towel  and  celluloid 
box  of  soap.  She  too  was  excited,  so  excited  that  she 
would  have  passed  me,  but  I  thought  I  imderstood 
that.  I  stopped  her. 

"Well,  Evie?"  I  said,  smiling. 

She  waited,  painfully  full,  I  couldn't  help  think- 
ing, of  emotion. 

"  It  was  you  who  congratulated  me  before,"  I  said. 
"  It's  my  turn  now,  I  hear." 

She  looked  at  me  and  away  again,  and  again  at 
me  and  away. 

"  Thank  you,  Mr  Jeffries,"  she  said,  beginning  to 
make  little  pointings  of  her  foot  this  way  and  that 
on  the  floor. 

I  spoke  very  gently.  "Jeff — or  Mr  Jeffries  if 
you  prefer  it — wishes  you  nothing  but  happiness, 
Evie,"  I  said. 

"  Oh,  thank  you,"  she  said,  with  increasing  per- 


THE  GARRET  227 

turbation,  "  thank  you  very  much  indeed — thank  you 
really— Jeff." 

It  was  odd  in  the  extreme.  She  gave  me  the  re- 
luctant "  Jeff,"  and  somehow  I  wished  she  hadn't, 
it  came  with  such  difficulty.  Something,  I  was  con- 
vinced, lay  behind  it.  I  did  not  expect  her  in  the 
circumstances  to  be  quite  collected,  but  her  manner 
was — I  don't  know  how  else  to  describe  it — almost 
that  of  a  child  who  has  pleaded  with  authority  for 
permission  to  bestow  one  final  charity  on  an  unde- 
sirable associate.  .  .  .  What!  I  thought,  she 
also  ashamed  to  know  a  commissionaire! 

"  When  are  you  going  to  be  married  ? "  I  asked, 
after  an  awkward  pause. 

"  Quite  soon,"  she  replied,  equally  awkward.  "  As 
soon  as  I  can  get  my  things  ready."  She  stopped. 

"  I  suppose  Archie's  coming  here  for  you — to- 
night, I  mean  ? " 

"  No — he's  got  a  man  to  see — a  friend —  in  Store 
Street,  I  think." 

"  Then  may  I  walk  along  with  you  ?  " 

She  seemed  to  have  feared  the  question.  "  Oh," 
she  said  quickly,  "  if  yon  don't  mind — I've  some- 
thing awfully  private  to  say  to  Kitty — she  and  I 
have  arranged  to  go  on  together." 

("ISTot  wanted,"  I  said  to  myself.)  Aloud, 
"  Well,  I  hope  you'll  be  happy,  Evie,"  I  added. 

"  Thank  you,"  she  said  again,  lifting  curiously; 
appealing  eyes  for  a  moment. 


228    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

I  turned  abruptly  from  her,  and  sought  Kitty, 
who  was  still  waiting.  I  had  picked  up  a  sudden 
suspicion,  and  wished  to  confirm  it. 

"  Ready  ?  "  I  said,  in  a  tone  as  matter  of  fact  as 
I  could  assume. 

Again  she  began  to  flutter.  I  couldn't  understand 
what  had  come  over  the  whole  college. 

"  I'm  sorry,  Jeff,"  she  began,  with  rapid  effusive- 
ness. "If  I'd  only  known  you  wanted — but  I've 
got  to  go  somewhere." 

I  knew  that,  Evie  had  just  told  me. 

"  Woburn  Place,  you  mean  ? " 

"  No,  dear — somewhere  else — quite  different." 

"Beally?"  I  said,  incredulously  smiling  and 
frowning  both  at  once. 

"  Of  course !     How  funny  you  are !  " 

I  looked  searchingly  down  into  her  eyes. 

"  I  think  you're  funny,"  I  said  slowly. 

"  You  really  must  excuse  me,  Jeff — if  you'd  only 
let  me  know." 

But  I  had  had  enough  of  this.  Gently  but  irresist- 
ibly I  took  her  arm. 

"  Come  along,  Kitty,"  I  said  quietly.  "  I  par- 
ticularly want  to  talk  to  you." 

She  quailed,  but  still  hung  back. 

"Very  well,"  I  said.  "Will  you  tell  me  where 
you're  going  ?  " 

She  was  obstinately  silent. 


THE  GARRET  229 

"  You're  going  with  Evie,  of  course  ? " 

I  knew  by  the  little  rush  with  which  she  spoke 
that  she  was  telling  the  truth  and  was  relieved  to  be 
able  to  do  so.  "  Oh  no ! "  she  said.  "  I'm  going 
quite  alone,  quite  alone — honour,  Jeff !  " 

"  Evie's  not  going  with  you — to  Store  Street  or 
wherever  it  is  ? " 

She  stiffened.  "  I  don't  know  what  you  mean  by 
Store  Street,  and  I  think  you've  got  Evie  on  the 
brain,"  she  said. 

What  the  devil  ailed  them  all  ? 

And  why  had  Evie  said  she  was  going  with  Kitty  ? 

As  abruptly  as  I  turned  away  from  the  one  I  now 
turned  away  from  the  other. 

The  next  moment:  "Er — 'Jeffries!"  I  heard. 

It  was  Weston  with  my  five  shillings.     I  turned. 

"  Oh,  Jeffries !  I'm  sorry  to  say — glad  in  one 
sense  of  course — that  Professor  Hitchcock  will  be 
taking  the  class  again  next  Friday.  The  college 
wishes — wishes  to  thank  you  for  stopping  the  gap 
as  you  have  done.  It's  been  most  obliging  of 
you." 

I  said  something — I  was  glad  Hitchcock  was  bet- 
ter, I  said. 

"Yes — er — he's  quite  well  again  now — quite  on 
his  feet  again,"  said  the  secretary-bird.  "  And — 
er — Jeffries — I'm  exceedingly  sorry,  but  Fve  a 
rather  unpleasant  duty  to  perform," 


230    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

I  was  utterly  mystified.  "What  is  it  now?"  I 
demanded  almost  roughly. 

"  It's  that  the  Board  is  of  opinion — has  come  to 
the  conclusion — that  consisting  as  we  do  of  younger 
students  than  yourself — it  would  be  of  advantage — 
perhaps  of  advantage  to  you  too  if — if " 

I  helped  him  out.     "  If  I  don't  come  again  ? " 

"  I  wished  to  break  it  gently  to  you — but  that  is 
the  substance  of  it,"  he  stammered. 

Curious.     .     .     . 

"  Thank  you,  Weston,"  I  said.  "  I  quite  under- 
stand. Will  you  please  tell  them  that  I  didn't  ask 
for  any  explanation  ? " 

Exceedingly  curious.     .     .     . 

"Yes,  yes,  yes,"  he  murmured  sympathetically. 

"  Now,"  I  said  to  myself  some  minutes  later,  as 
I  descended  the  stairs,  "  it  only  requires  Miss  Angela 
to  turn  me  down." 

I  walked  to  Woburn  Place,  and  there  asked  a 
Swiss  boy  if  I  might  see  Miss  Angela.  Archie's 
friend  Mr  Shoto  passed  me  as  I  waited  in  the  hall, 
but  I  did  not  speak  to  him.  After  some  minutes 
the  Swiss  boy  returned.  His  answer  was  what  I 
expected.  Miss  Soames  had  a  nervous  headache, 
and  asked  to  be  excused  from  seeing  me. 

And  all,  I  thought  with  amazement  as  I  turned 
away,  because  for  a  week  or  two  I  had  worn  a  sky- 
blue  uniform ! 


T  |  lHAT  division  of  me  into  two  men  that  I  nave 
J[  said  dated  from  the  time  when  Kitty  told  me 
of  Evie's  engagement  to  Archie  Merridew  was,  in  a 
sense,  no  new  thing.  I  had  felt  it  in  some  measure 
before,  when  I  had  deliberately  avoided  Archie  that 
I  might  give  my  anger  its  head  and  had  smiled  in 
his  face  again  when  the  fit  had  worked  itself  out. 
I  had  striven,  too,  to  stand  between  him  and  the 
black  rages  he  and  my  general  circumstances  had 
provoked. 

But  no  sooner  had  the  words,  that  Evie  was  now 
definitely  engaged,  come  from  Kitty's  lips  than  I 
knew  this  division  to  be  complete  and  irrevocable. 
Even  did  he  withdraw  in  time  he  had  still  contem- 
plated it;  and  in  my  soul  I  did  not  now  believe  he 
would  withdraw.  "  The  Devil  was  sick,  the  Devil 
a  Saint  would  be."  And  I  knew  at  last  who  his 
friend  in  Store  Street  was.  A  name,  seen  on  a  medi- 
cine bottle  in  his  room,  had  leaped  into  my  memory. 
His  "  friend "  was  some  obscure  practitioner  of  a 
doctor. 

So  I  now  became  as  the  Giant  in  the  story,  who 

was  so  exquisitely  cloven  from  head  to  middle  by; 

231 


232    IN  ACCOEDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

the  magic  blade  that  he  did  not  feel  the  wound  that 
was  his  death.  "  Cut,  then!  "  he  laughed.  "  Shake 
yourself,"  he  was  told.  And  he  fell  in  twain. 

A  shake,  and  I  too  should  fall  in  twain. 

I  will  now  tell  you  how  I  got  that  shake. 

Thinking  over  my  sudden  ostracism  in  Pettinger's 
house  that  night  I  only  became  more  and  more  mysti- 
fied. That  the  Business  College  should  no  longer 
require  me  I  could  understand — for  snobbery  plays 
a  terrible  part  in  business.  That  Kitty  had  re- 
proached me  for  my  lack  of  trust  in  her  about  my 
commissionaire's  post  was  also  easily  to  be  accounted 
for.  Miss  Angela  might  in  truth  have  had  a  head- 
ache and  have  begged  to  be  excused  from  receiving 
me.  But  that  Evie  should  turn  against  me  was  in- 
explicable. It  contradicted  every  tradition  of  her 
upbringing.  My  being  forced  into  a  humble,  but 
not  ignoble,  occupation  could  never  have  made  this 
difference  in  her.  If  anything  in  the  whole  business 
could  be  taken  as  a  certainty,  that  could.  And  so 
the  more  I  thought  about  it  the  more  sure  I  became 
that,  though  I  myself  might  conceal  my  real  reason 
for  wishing  to  see  Archie  Merridew  by  giving  out 
that  I  merely  wanted  to  remonstrate  with  him  about 
his  chattering,  others  were  using  that  very  giving-out 
as  a  screen  for  something  I  was  in  total  ignor- 
ance of.  Kitty's  timorousness  returned  to  me;  I 
believed  now  that  she  had  actually  been  trying  to 


THE  GARRET  233 

tell  me  something  else,  whatever  it  was;  and  so  I 
tossed  and  turned  on  my  pillow,  vainly  racking  my 
brain. 

I  finally  decided  to  have  it  out  with  both  Kitty 
and  Archie  on  the  morrow. 

I  went  up  to  town  the  next  morning,  and  walked 
straight  to  the  Business  College.  I  did  not  wish, 
after  what  I  had  been  told  the  night  before,  to  go 
up,  so  I  found  an  office  boy  on  one  of  the  lower 
floors  and  sent  him  up  with  word  that  somebody 
would  like  to  see  Miss  Windus.  Then  I  waited,  just 
inside  the  Holburn  entrance. 

In  a  few  minutes  she  came  down,  hatted  and 
gloved.  Her  face  looked  old;  her  eyes  were  dull, 
and  almost  closed — with  weeping,  I  was  instantly 
sure;  and  she  touched  my  sleeve  almost  as  if  she 
feared  I  might  shake  her  hand  off  again. 

"  I  thought  it  would  be  you,"  she  said,  in  a  dull 
voice.  "  Let's  have  a  walk.  I've  something  to 
say." 

We  walked  without  speaking  along  Holborn,  and 
presently  turned  into  the  little  courtyard  of  Staple's 
Inn.  We  sat  down  on  the  bench  that  surrounds  the 
tree  in  the  middle. 

She  had  broken  into  speech  almost  before  we  sat 
down.  It  was  as  if  she  feared  that  if  she  did  not 
get  it  out  at  once  she  would  not  speak  at  all.  She 
was  intensely  agitated. 


234    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  Jeff,"  she  said,  "  IVe  wronged  you — cruelly 
and  basely." 

I  did  not  smile  at  the  melodramatic  little  phrase. 
I  had  not  the  ghost  of  an  idea  what  she  meant, 
but  that  something  was  impending  I  was  already 
aware. 

"  I  saw  you  didn't  know  last  night,"  she  went  on. 
"This  morning?" 

It  was  a  question.  "  I'm  no  wiser  this  morning," 
I  said. 

"  You  asked  me  where  I  was  going  last  night." 

"  I  did." 

"  Can  you  guess  why  when — when  I  tell  you  it 
was  to  Louie  Causton's  ?  " 

I  shook  my  head. 

"  Even  then  I  cannot  guess." 

Then  she  began  to  tremble.  She  grasped  the  edge 
of  the  seat  with  her  hand  so  that  I  should  not  see 
how  she  shook. 

"  Jeff,"  she  said,  in  a  low  voice,  "  if  you  never 
want  to  see  me  again — I  can't  blame  you  if  you 
don't — not  after  this." 

I  waited. 

"  Not  that  I  shouldn't  always,  always  love  you. 
It  will  be  my  punishment — I  shall  have  to  bear  it." 

Still  I  waited. 

"Yesterday  it  was  you  who  offered  it — now  it's 
me — it  will  serve  me  right." 


THE  GARRET  235 

I  thought  she  would  never  go  on.  "  You  mean 
our  engagement,  of  course  ? "  I  said. 

"  Yes,"  she  gulped. 

"  Why  ? "  I  asked  suddenly. 

"  Because — because  of  what  IVe  been  beast  enough 
to  believe  of  you,  Jeff." 

"  And  that  is " 

As  I  again  waited  for  her  to  speak  I  looked  round 
the  courtyard.  A  clerk  was  at  work  in  a  first-floor 
window,  and  he  caught  my  eye  and  looked  away 
again.  In  another  window  an  office  boy  stood  with 
a  pen  in  his  mouth,  turning  the  pages  of  a  ledger. 
Then,  after  a  while,  and  very  disjointedly,  Kitty 
went  on: 

"  They  said  you  said  it  yourself,  and  I — at  first 
I  didn't — but  then  I  believed  it.  I  know  I  was 
beastly  about  it  once  before — then  we  quarrelled — 
but  I  didn't  mean  what  I  said  then — believe  me,  I 
didn't.  .  .  .  And,"  she  went  on,  "I  didn't 
know  who — who — it  was.  .  .  .  She  never  told 
me — you  know  what  I  mean.  ...  I  hate  my- 
self— now.  I  suppose  I'm  jealous — the  green-eyed 
monster,  Jeff — but  they  did  say  it — said  you'd  as 
much  as  said  so  yourself — and " 

I  was  beginning  to  get  impatient  with  her  ram- 
bling. 

I  said  '"  And  what  ? "  but  I  don't  think  she  heard 
me. 


236    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  So  that's  why  I  went  to  Louie  herself — to  ask 
her — right  out " 

All  at  once  I  felt  it  coming. 

"Well?" 

But  suddenly  she  huried  her  face  in  her  hands, 
and  her  thin  shoulders  shook.  Again  I  saw  the 
clerk  watching.  .  .  . 

"  Oh !  "  she  moaned.  "  Can  you  ever,  ever  for- 
give me  ? " 

"  For " 

"  For  ever  thinking  that  you  and  Louie — that  you 
and  Louie " 

She  lifted  her  piteous  eyes  to  mine. 

I  think  it  was  then  that  the  Giant  shook  himself 
and  fell  in  twain.  He  has  heen  more  or  less  roughly 
cobbled  together  since,  and  the  halves  rub  on  some- 
how side  by  side,  but  to  this  day  the  one  man  in  me 
faints  for  the  great  sweet  things  of  Life,  while  the 
other  has  the  devil  ever  at  his  elbow. 

The  whole  courtyard  had  swung  round ;  I  actually 
seemed,  with  my  physical  eye,  to  see  it  for  some  mo- 
ments out  of  the  vertical.  Then  it  righted  again, 
and  the  whole  mystery  of  the  previous  evening  dis- 
solved in  light. 

"You  and  Louie — you  and  Louie " 

Yet  again  the  courtyard  seemed  to  lean  and  slide 


THE  GARRET  237 

sideways  for  a  moment;  then  I  flung  a  blazing 
searchlight  back  across  my  memory. 

Louie  Causton's  super-subtle  mask.  "  So  long 
since  I  saw  a  man,  my  dear — the  Baboon? — oh,  I 
should  know  which  way  to  turn  then !  " 

My  half-admissions  to  Archie  when  he  had  tried 
with  such  persistency  to  get  out  of  me  who  it  was 
I  was  in  love  with. 

Her  failure  to  return  to  the  college,  that  alone 
had  thrown  me  into  Kitty's  arms  rather  than  into 
her  own. 

That  something,  God  knows  what,  that  I  might 
have  said  to  Mackie  when,  after  having  eaten  noth- 
ing, I  had  drunk  with  him. 

Kitty's  own  desperate  possessiveness  and  jeal- 
ousy. 

All  these  things  fell  into  place  as  the  coloured 
granules  fall  when  the  kaleidoscope  is  given  a  turn. 
I  had  been  accused  of  being  Miss  Causton's  lover ! 

As  I  remain  that  divided  Giant  henceforward 
until  the  end  of  my  tale,  I  will  divide  my  name 
also,  and  tell  you  of  a  colloquy  that  began  within 
me  between  these  two  men — the  honest,  human,  en- 
raged Jeffries,  and  that  other,  whom.  I  will  call 
James  Herbert,  at  whose  elbow  stood  the  devil. 

"  Ah !  "  choked  Jeffries,  flaming  red. 

"  Quietly,  quietly !  "  whispered  his  interlocutor. 

"  That's  Merridew  again !  "  choked  the  other. 


238    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  Quietly — keep  your  face — there's  a  clerk  in  that 
window  watching  you !  " 

"  The  whole  world  may  see  me — let  me  go  and 
find  him !  "  It  was  as  if  this  Jeffries  struggled  to 
break  away  there  and  then. 

"  No,  no — sit  still — leave  it  to  me,  and  keep  your 
face  before  this  weeping  woman — I  was  born  where 
they  understand  these  things !  " 

And  after  a  hellish  minute — the  voice  of  that  one 
prevailed. 

I  turned  to  Kitty. 

"  Good  gracious ! "  I  remember  I  said,  with  an 
air  almost  of  amused  incredulity.  "Why,  who  on 
earth  told  you  that  ridiculous  tale  ? " 

The  one  who  came  from  the  place  where  they  un- 
derstand these  things  was  right.  Kitty  looked  up. 
At  first  she  seemed  unable  to  believe  her  ears — un- 
able to  believe  that  I  could  treat  the  monstrous  thing 
with  amused  disdain.  Then,  as  she  slowly  realised, 
her  face  shone.  She  gave  a  quick  glad  cry. 

"Jeff!" 

"  What,  dear  ?  "  I  said,  smiling. 

She  choked.    "Oh     .     .     .     my  good,  big  man !  " 

("Laugh  now,"  the  wicked  one  prompted;  and  I 
laughed.) 

"  Good  heavens,  what  a  tale !  .  .  .  Who  told 
you?  Archie?  Just  you  see  if  I  don't  tweak  that 
young  man's  ears !  " 


THE  GARRET  239 

In  her  infinite  relief  the  poor  woman  broke  down 
utterly.  She  shook  with  the  mingled  gratitude  and 
humiliation  of  my  pardon. 

"  Louie  Causton !  "  I  scoffed.  "  You  actually 
asked  her  that  ?  Why,  how  she  must  have  laughed !  " 

"  Oh — you're  wonderful,  Jeff !  "  Kitty  adored  me. 

"  Oh,"  I  replied,  quickly  recollecting  myself, 
"  don't  think  I'm  not  angry !  I'll  give  that  young 
man  a  jacket-dusting!  He  shall  have  a  wedding 
present  from  me  he'll  remember,  I  promise  you! 
Why,  of  all  the  mean  tricks!  .  .  ." 

I  went  on.  Presently  Kitty  had  found  me  so 
wonderful  that  once  more  she  could  even  toy  a  little 
with  a  peril. 

"  Louie  wouldn't  tell  me  .  .  .  who  .  .  . 
sKe  said  she'd  die  first  .  .  ."  she  half  sobbed 
by-and-by. 

I  looked  into  her  little  puffed  eyes.  "  Then,"  I 
said,  smiling,  "  you've  only  the  word  of  a  not  very 
trustworthy  woman  for  it  that  after  all  .  .  . 
eh?" 

A  saint  could  hardly  have  cheapened  the  worship- 
ping look  she  gave  me. 

"  So,"  I  resumed  presently,  "  that  was  what  ailed 
you  all  last  night,  when  I  was  thinking  all  the  time 
it  was  my  uniform  ?  " 

"  Yes— I  tried  hard  to  tell  you,  Jeff " 

"  And  does  Archie  really  believe  this  tale  him- 


240    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

self,  or  is  it  just  one  of  his  little  pleasantries  ? " 

She  didn't  know. 

"  Is  he  at  the  college  this  morning  ?  " 

"Yes." 

"  Good.  Will  you  send  him  down  to  me  if  I  walk 
back  with  you  ?  I  think  we  won't  lose  any  time  over 
this." 

"  And  you'll  give  him  a  really  severe  talking-to  ?  " 
she  asked  eagerly. 

"  I  will,"  I  promised.     "  Come " 

Twenty  minutes  later  I  was  again  in  the  doorway 
of  the  Business  College,  waiting  for  Archie  to  de- 
scend. 

And  as  I  waited  I  reflected  how  well-nigh  irrev- 
ocably I  had  tied  myself  up  with  Kitty  now.  I  think 
that  up  to  then  she  would  have  stuck  to  me  even  had 
this  of  Miss  Causton  been  true;  but  now  she  would 
never,  never  let  me  go.  Perhaps  I  may  here  mention 
the  plan  I  had  at  first  had  for  getting  rid  of  her  when 
I  should  require  her  no  longer.  I  had  based  that 
plan  on  the  fascination  the  "  compromising  situa- 
tion" of  her  favourite  novels  always  had  for  her. 
I  never  knew  anyone  so  self-conscious  about  her  de- 
fencelessness,  and  I  had  worked  it  out  that  I  had 
only  to  propose  my  own  chamber  for  an  assignation 
and  she  would  conceive  herself  to  be  looking  into  the 
bright  face  of  danger  indeed.  All  peril  and  all  ro- 
mance would  lie  for  her  in  her  setting  foot  on  the 


THE  GAERET  241 

lowest  of  my  stairs.  .  .  .  And  doubtless  one 
glance  at  that  naked  room  of  mine  (I  had  pawned 
even  my  oil-stove)  would,  I  had  estimated,  drive 
her  away  in  instant  and  horrified  fright.  .  .  .  I 
had  not  been  above  planning  this. 

But  now  she  would  never,  never  leave  her  big, 
wonderful  man. 

Yes.     I  had  fettered  myself  fairly  completely. 

Holborn  was  noisy  that  morning,  and  between  the 
sound  of  passing  vehicles  and  Archie's  own  light 
tread  I  was  not  aware  of  his  presence  until  he  spoke. 
Instantly  I  saw  that  he  thought  he  knew  why  I  had 
come  and  had  resolved  to  take  one  bull  at  least  by  the 
horns. 

"  I  say,  Jen2,"  he  began  at  once,  with  embarrassed 
sincerity — a  sincere  desire,  that  is,  to  be  out  of  the 
mess  he  had  landed  himself  in,  "  Kitty's  just  told 
me.  I  know — I  know  you  must  be  beastly  angry 
with  me — quite  right  too — I'm  awfully  sorry  and-- 
and  ashamed.  It  was  caddish.  But  I  really  didn't 
mean  anything,  and — and — and  I  thought  you  as 
much  as  said  it  yourself,  you  know " 

I  judged  it  best  not  to  speak  just  yet.  I  stood 
looking  at  him. 

"  You're  an  awfully  good  sort,"  he  went  on,  con- 
ciliatingly,  "  but — but — I  really  thought  you  were  a 
bit  sweet  on  her  (that  was  all  I  meant) — that  time — 
you  know — before  I  knew  it  was  really  Kitty.  I 


242    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

simply  said  to  Mackie — lie  watched  you  too  at  the 
party — I  admit  I  was  '  on '  a  bit,  and  never  thought 
it  would  end  like  this " 

Then  I  spoke.  "You  mean  you  didn't  think  it 
would  end  in  my  getting  the  sack  and  being  cut 
by  everybody  I  know  except  yourself  and  Mackie? 
How  did  you  think  it  would  end,  then  ? " 

He  jumped  eagerly  at  a  chance,  ready  to  promise 
anything. 

"  I'll  see  that's  all  right,  old  boy — and  Hitchcock 
was  coming  back  anyway,  you  know — you  only  had 
the  job  while  he  was  away " 

"  Oh ! "  I  said,  with  a  nasty  laugh.  "  And  in 
your  opinion  that's  all?  .  .  .  What  about  my 
character  ?  "  I  demanded  suddenly.  "  Eh  ?  " 

"  I  know,"  he  said,  with  hanging  head.  "  It 
was  rotten  of  me — but  I  was  (  on ' — I  really  was. 
And  your  character's  all  right,  Jeff,  with  anybody 
who  knows  you — they  know  what  a  first-rate  sort 
you  are " 

"  Thank  you,"  I  said  stiffly.  "  And  what  about 
— the  partner  in  my  guilt  ? " 

"  Oh,  her!  "  the  little  animal  said,  as  if  she  could 
be  left  quite  out  of  the  question.  Then  apparently 
he  felt  the  stirring  of  returning  rectitude.  "Well, 
Jeff,  I  have  apologised.  ...  I  don't  see  what 
more  I  can  do,  except  of  course  to  see  you  all 
right  .  .  ." 


THE  GARRET  243 

I  noted  the  birth  of  the  attitude  I  wished  to  cre- 
ate. I  began  to  appear  to  let  him  down  by  gradual 
degrees. 

Exactly  how  much  of  it  was  appearance  you  see. 
I  abhorred  the  little  wretch.  And  his  renewed  apolo- 
gies, promises,  explanations !  .  .  .  He  had  been 
"  on  "  he  had  "  simply  said  "  to  Mackie ;  I  "  should 
have  lost  my  job  soon  in  any  case  " ;  and  "  he'd  see 
I  was  all  right !  "  .  .  .  That  was  all  his  sense 
of  a  hideous  slander!  Arid  his  almost  rebellious 
"  Well,  I  have  apologised."  Good  heavens,  he  would 
be  putting  me  in  the  wrong  presently!  .  .  . 
Every  muscle  in  my  body  was  straining  to  be  at 
him. 

But  that,  I  knew,  would  never,  never  do. 

Presently  I  turned  once  more  to  him:  All  this, 
after  all,  was  not  in  the  least  what  I  had  come  to 
talk  to  him  about.  It  was  only  a  screen. 

"Very  well,"  I  said  at  last.  "What's  done's 
done.  We'll  leave  that  for  the  present.  Now 
there's  something  else  I  want  to  say  to  you.  Do  you 
know  what  it  is  ?  " 

"  How  should  I  know  ?  "  he  said,  relieved  that  the 
subject  was  turned. 

"Think     .     .      » 

When  Kitty  had  come  down  to  see  me  an  hour  be- 
fore she  had  done  so  in  her  hat  and  coat.  She 
had  had  her  confession  to  make,  and  had,  I  fancied, 


244    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

done  me  even  in  her  attire  the  courtesy  of  hinting 
humbly  that  she  was  entirely  at  my  disposal.  But 
Archie  evidently  thought  that  our  difference  could 
he  arranged  in  a  five  minutes'  talk  sandwiched  in 
between  two  lessons.  He  had  not  even  put  his  hat 
on.  He  stood,  a  small  fair  figure,  red-waistcoated, 
brass-buttoned,  hands  in  his  pockets,  leaning  against 
the  name-board  of  the  tenants  of  the  various  floors 
of  the  building,  while  I,  with  one  hand  against  the 
board,  hung  over  him  like  a  huge  angel  of  good  and 
evil,  bidding  him  think. 

"  Think,"  I  said  again. 

He  suddenly  realised  what  I  meant.  I  could  no 
more  hold  his  eyes  than  I  could  have  held  those  of  a 
chidden  dog.  They  cringed,  evaded,  even  dared 
short  defiances. 

"  Think,"  I  said  once  more. 

All  at  once  he  said,  "  I  don't  know  what  you 
mean." 

"  Then,"  I  said,  "  I  shall  have  to  tell  you." 

"  So,"  I  concluded  some  minutes  later,  "  do  you 
think  you  are — doing  right — to  marry  ? " 

We  still  stood,  he  with  his  back  to  the  name-board, 
I  with  my  hand  against  it,  almost  enveloping  him 
with  my  physical  presence.  And  now,  no  detail  of 
my  arraignment  spared,  I  had  at  last  caught  his  eye. 


THE  GAERET  245 

Even  before  he  spoke  my  heart  gave  a  savage  leap. 
Already  his  soft  and  spongy  nature  had  begun  to  be 
hardened  to  that  attitude  I  needed. 

"  Oh !  "  he  said.  .  .  .  Then,  proudly,  "  But 
this  is  interference." 

"  You  think,"  I  repeated  slowly,  "  that  you  have 
the  right  to  get  married  ?  " 

His  very  admission  was  a  defiance  of  me.  "  I 
know  I've  been  rather  a  rotter,"  he  blustered. 

Once  more  I  repeated  monotonously: 

"  You  still  think,  after  what  I've  just  said,  that 
you  have  the  right- -•" 

"  I  think,"  he  broke  out,  "  that  if  you  looked 
after  your  own  girl  and  left  me  to  look  after  mine 
it  would  be  better.  I'm  frightfully  sorry  about  the 
other  thing,  of  course,  but — dash  it  all  !— 

Our  long  exchange  of  looks  said  the  rest,  and  it 
was  not  my  fault  if  he  didn't  understand  what  his 
refusal  to  heed  me  would  involve.  Some  people 
never  understand,  and  cry  afterwards,  "  You  never 
told  me  that !  "  as  if  one  man  had  the  right  to  demand 
of  another  that  he  should  speak  the  uttermost  word. 
I  cannot  see  that  there  is  any  such  right.  For  such 
as  these  there  is  no  uttermost  word.  Elias  and  the 
Prophets  cannot  make  them  understand.  Though 
one  rose  from  the  dead  to  tell  them  they  would  not 
believe.  The  God  who  made  them  as  they  are  can- 
not make  Himself  known  to  them — He  can  only  de- 


246    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

stroy  them  again.  They  go  out  into  the  night  in 
their  ignorance,  and  for  them  there  is  no  resurrec- 
tion in  knowledge.  .  .  .  Therefore  if  the  utter- 
most word  will  not  enlighten  them,  why  speak  it? 
Weakness  lies  in  that  word.  Because  it  is  weak. 
Art  leaves  it  unspoken,  and  the  Seer,  having  spoken 
it,  comes  down  from  Sinai  no  more.  Only  by  a 
withholding  from  it  does  man  achieve.  Making 
three  parts  greater  than  the  whole,  he  does  not  put 
forth  to  the  last.  He  will  not  return  bankrupt  to 
heaven.  The  unuttered  utterance  is  his  credential, 
to  be  restored  to  the  Bestower  of  it. 

Therefore  I  did  not,  at  that  time,  tell  Archie  Mer- 
ridew  that  if  he  married  I  should  slay  him.  But 
all,  all  else  was  in  my  eyes  for  his  taking. 

Then  our  gaze  severed. 

As  I  dropped  my  hand  from  the  wall  the  devil 
frisked  in  me  again.  I  had  warned  him,  and  had 
my  own  safety  to  consider  now.  Without  attention 
to  detail  you  can  accomplish  nothing  in  this  world, 
and  a  thing  is  bunglingly  done  when  you  yourself 
suffer  the  consequences  of  it.  Whatever  I  might  do, 
I  intended  to  suffer  no  consequences. 

"  Well,  Archie,"  I  said,  as  a  man  speaks  who 
washes  his  hands  of  something,  "  I've  told  you  what 
I  think  about  it.  There's  no  doubt  it  is,  as  you  say, 
an  interference,  but  I  think  it's  justified,  and  so  I'll 
say  no  more.  .  .  .  And  now,  about  that  other: 


THE  GARRET  247 

I  need  hardly  say  that  I  expect  you  to  make  things 
all  right  for  me  again." 

"  I  will — I  really  will,  Jeff,"  he  promised  at  once. 

"  You  see,"  I  amplified,  while  the  devil  in  me 
frisked,  "  leaving  my  reputation  out  of  the  question, 
it's  beastly  inconvenient.  For  instance,  I'm  badly 
in  need  of  some  shorthand  practice,  and  I  certainly 
don't  intend  to  go  up  these  stairs  again  until  I'm 
rehabilitated." 

He  leaped  at  the  chance  of  a  reparation  that  would 
cost  him  little.  "  Oh,  that's  easy,"  he  said.  "  Of 
course  your  own  place — I  mean,  why  not  use  mine, 
as  you  used  to  ?  " 

"  Oh,"  I  objected,  "  I  can't  very  well  use  your 
place  when  you're  not  there." 

"  I'm  going  to  be  there  most  of  the  time  now,"  he 
replied.  "  Perhaps  you  think  I'm  off  on  the  skite 
again,  but  I'm  not."  ("The  Devil  was  sick," 
thought  I  again.)  "I'm  dead  off  all  that  now — 
straight.  I  do  wish  you'd  come !  " 

"  But,"  I  said  (while  that  imp  in  me  positively 
capered),  "you'll  be  awfully  busy — with  other 
things.  I  hear  you're  to  be  married  at  once " 

"  Not  too  busy  for  that,  old  man,"  he  assured  me. 
"Do  come!" 

"  Well,  I'll  see,"  I  promised. 

Half-an-hour  later  I  was  sitting  in  the  British 
Museum  reading-room  with  a  stock  of  books  on  Medi- 


248    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

cal  Jurisprudence  before  me.  Those  two  spirits 
within  me  were  whispering  again — plotting,  mach- 
inating, discussing  common  ground  of  action.  I 
had  not  yet  resolved  to  take  any  action;  but  I  had 
resolved,  and  firmly,  that  if  action  was  to  be  taken  I 
myself  was  not  going  to  be  caught  unawares. 


IT  was  true  that  Archie  was  busy.  His  "  skite  " 
had  cost  him  a  good  deal  of  money,  and  he  in- 
tended to  make  good  some  of  the  loss  by  economis- 
ing on  his  marriage.  -With  this  end  in  view  he  had 
determined  that  his  honeymoon  and  his  summer  holi- 
day should  be  run  into  one,  and  had  fixed,  or  Evie 
had  fixed  for  him,  a  day  towards  the  end  of  August 
for  his  wedding.  He  was  going  to  Jersey,  for  the 
sake  of  the  breath  of  the  sea  (I  fancy  that  in  this  he 
was  following  Store  Street  advice)  ;  and  he  intended 
on  his  return  to  go  into  rooms  until  he  should  have 
had  time  to  look  round  for  a  house. 

His  personal  preparations  were  extensive.  Ten 
porters  and  carmen  a  day  called  at  the  house  near  the 
Foundling  Hospital,  delivering  purchases,  and  his 
upper  floor  was  heaped  up  with  bags,  boxes,  drawers 
taken  from  their  cases  and  laid  upon  the  floor,  brown 
paper,  cardboard  boxes,  new  clothing.  And  one  day 
— I  won't  set  down  the  date — he  lost  his  latchkey  in 
the  muddle.  He  did  not  know  that  he  lost  it  as  a 
result  of  my  own  close  studies  in  the  reading-room 
of  the  British  Museum. 

"  Can't  find  the  blessed  thing  anywhere !  "  he  grum- 
249 


250    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

bled.  "  I  took  it  off  the  bunch  to  slip  into  the  pocket 
of  my  evening  waistcoat — you  can't  carry  a  bunch 
of  keys  about  in  your  evening  clothes — and  I  can't 
think  where  the  devil  I  put  it!  .  .  .  Well,  I 
shall  have  to  ask  Jane  for  another." 

It  was  also  a  consequence  of  my  deeply  private 
studies  that  about  the  same  time  I  had  an  accident 
with  the  hook  of  his  bedroom  door.  The  night  being- 
sultry,  I  had  removed  my  coat,  and  hung  it  on  his 
hook,  over  one  of  his,  and,  somehow,  in  going  through 
the  pockets  of  the  undermost  coat  in  search  of  the  key, 
he  had  several  times  twisted  the  collar-tab  by  which 
my  own  garment  hung.  In  taking  my  coat  down 
again  a  little  later  I  used  some  force;  I  used  so  much 
force  that  I  fetched  the  whole  hook  down,  leaving 
a  small  piece  out  of  the  wood  of  the  door,  and, 
Archie,  busy  emptying  a  drawer,  remarked  that  to 
put  it  up  again  would  be  something  for  the  next  ten- 
ant to  do. 

"  Oh  no — better  leave  the  place  as  you  found  it," 
I  said.  "  You  go  on— I'll  attend  to  it." 

"  Well,  I  don't  know  where  you're  going  to  find 
the  screw-drivers — with  my  latchkey,  I  suppose,"  he 
remarked. 

But  I  knew  where  the  screw-driver  was.  I  found 
it,  and  put  the  hook  up  securely  again,  a  couple  of 
inches  below  its  old  place. 

I  also  carried  constantly  in  my  pocket,  ready  for 


THE  GARRET  251 

use  at  any  moment,  a  written  page  of  notepaper,  the 
compilation  of  which  had  cost  me  a  good  deal  of 
thought  in  the  reading-room. 

Yet  I  must  make  perfectly  clear  to  you  that  these 
and  twenty  other  things  that  had  the  appearance  of 
preparations  committed  me  to  nothing.  They  were 
merely  part  of  the  prudent  course  of  making  ready, 
not  for  the  best  that  might  happen,  but  for  the  worst ; 
and  that  the  worst  might  be  avoided  I  plotted  at  the 
same  time  with  almost  extravagant  care.  For  all  this 
last,  however,  the  effective  human  mind  works  as  it 
were  in  separate  compartments  of  the  job  to  be  done, 
and  there  was  no  denying  that  this  was  or  might  be- 
come a  job.  I  treated  it  as  a  job.  And  as  a  job 
it  cost  me  no  more  qualms  and  tremors  than  the  cool 
preparation  for  an  examination  in  Method  might 
have  done.  I  did  not  turn  pale  when  I  read  in  a 
book  of  forensic  medicine  that  when  one  man  slays 
another  he  commonly  uses  far  too  much  violence;  I 
merely  noted  the  fact,  and  reminded  myself  of  it 
from  time  to  time,  to  be  perfect  in  my  (I  still  hoped 
superfluous)  lesson.  I  did  not  blench  when  I  learned 
that,  judicial  executions  apart,  ninety-nine  per  cent, 
of  hangings  were  suicidal,  so  that,  certain  other  pre- 
cautions being  observed,  a  presumption  could  be  made 
preponderatingly  probable.  I  merely  turned  my  at- 
tention to  the  qualifying  precautions.  And  as  for 
that  sheet  of  paper  I  carried — well,  young  men  have 


252    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

killed  themselves  for  less  reason,  and  seldom  for 
greater.  Indeed,  to  die  by  his  own  hand  might  be 
the  final  virtuous  act  in  which  he  took  his  farewell 
of  the  world.  I  would — still  in  the  last  event,  you 
understand — allow  him  that  empty  semblance  of  vir- 
tue. Whether  he  needed  it  in  heaven  or  not,  I 
needed  it  on  earth. 

And  (I  am  still  talking  purely  hypothetically)  I 
now  recognise  that  I  had  prepared  our  respective 
mental  attitudes  with  instinctive  skill.  That  clever 
fiend  within  me  had  seen  to  that  before  I  had  become 
awake  to  that  fiend's  existence.  By  about  the — till 
say  a  fortnight  before  the  day  fixed  for  his  wedding 
— none  could  have  told  that  I  had  the  shadow  of  a 
grudge  against  him.  He  had  made,  for  his  slander 
of  myself,  a  sort  of  semi-public  apology — that  is  to 
say,  he  had  mumbled  a  few  words  in  the  presence 
of  Weston  and  the  Principal  of  the  College;  but  by 
that  time  the  question  of  slander  had  been  already  so 
far  from  me  that  I  had  hardly  had  to  affect  an  equa- 
nimity of  manner.  Without  any  effort  whatever  I 
had  hit  the  necessary  degree  of  magnanimity  to  a 
nicety,  and  there  had  been  an  end  of  that.  I  was 
free  to  return  to  the  college  again.  This  now  mat- 
tered little  since  we  were  within  a  few  days  of  the 
end  of  the  summer  term,  and  it  was  proposed  to 
have,  not  a  breaking-up  party  on  the  premises,  but  a 
boating-picnic  at  Richmond. 


THE  GARRET  253 

That  I  was  in  love  with  Evie  Soames  none  knew. 
Did  they?  Could  they?  She  was  engaged  to 
Archie,  I  to  Kitty  Windus ;  hut  I  examined  it  again, 
to  make  sure.  .  .  .  No,  no  suspicion  of  jealousy 
could  attach  to  me ;  none  would  think  of  a  crime  pas- 
sionel.  .  .  .  And  was  it  jealousy?  Was  it  a 
crime  passionel?  I  do  not  think  you  can  say  it  was. 
True,  I  intended  in  the  teeth  of  all  the  world  to 
marry  Evie  Soames,  just  as  I  intended  one  day  to  be 
rich  and  to  make  my  inherent  power  felt ;  but  there 
would  have  been  other  ways  than  murder  of  accom- 
plishing that.  I  should  have  found  a  way.  .  .  . 
No;  he  had  the  best  reason  in  the  world  for  what 
I  was  so  carefully  planning  for  him.  To  me 
none  whatever  could  be  attributed.  My  prepara- 
tions (for  the  worst,  of  course)  would  be  complete 
when  I  had  made  use  of  that  paper  I  carried  in  my 
pocket. 

It  was  one  evening  less  than  a  week  before  the 
day  of  his  wedding  that  I  chose  for  the  completion 
of  these  preparations,  and  I  had  walked  with  him 
as  far  as  his  home.  There,  with  a  good-night,  I 
was  artfully  passing  on  when  he  himself  detained 
me. 

"  Aren't  you  coming  up  for  a  bit  ?  "  he  said.  He 
had  been  monstrously  hospitable  since  I  had  taken 
him  to  task  about  the  slander.  I  had  reckoned  on 
this. 


254    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  No,"  I  replied,  "  I  must  get  some  shorthand 
practice — I'm  off  home." 

"  Oh,  come  in,"  he  urged,  taking  my  arm.  "  I 
sha'n't  get  much  either  this  few  weeks — come  in, 
and  we'll  have  an  hour  together  at  speed.  Come  on 
— I've  got  some  books  you  may  as  well  have — I 
sha'n't  want  two  sets." 

He  meant  he  wouldn't  want  Evie's  text-hooks  as 
well  as  his  own.  I  had  not  been  able  to  afford  books 
for  my  studies,  and  so  had  had  to  make  use  of  those 
belonging  to  the  college.  This  was  the  nearest  he 
had  come  since  my  accusation  to  speaking  about  Evie 
and  himself  together. 

I  went  up  to  his  rooms  for  a  speed  practice  in 
Pitman's  Shorthand. 

"  Here  are  the  books,"  he  said,  when  he  got  in. 
"  Better  put  'em  where  you'll  have  your  hand  on  'em 
— once  you  lose  sight  of  a  thing  in  this  mess  you  can 
say  good-bye  to  it.  That  blessed  latchkey  of  mine 
hasn't  turned  up  yet.  Well,  shall  we  get  work  over 
first  and  then  talk  a  bit  ?  " 

He  swept  aside  with  his  arm  a  heap  of  new  shirts 
and  collars  and  tissue-paper,  took  a  writing-pad  from 
the  drawer  of  his  table,  and  then  looked  round  for 
something  from  which  to  read  aloud.  I  produced 
from  my  pocket  a  newspaper,  which  I  tossed  over  to 
him.  I  also  had  cleared  a  portion  of  the  table  for 


THE  GARRET  255 

myself  and  was  sharpening  a  pencil.  My  pad  lay 
before  me.  He  was  taking  his  watch  from  the  guard. 

"  Do  I  read  first  ? "  he  asked,  opening  the  news- 
paper. "  Right-oh.  Say  when  you're  ready." 

I  drew  up  my  chair.     "  Right,"  I  said. 

And  in  his  rapid,  clear,  high-pitched  voice  he  be- 
gan to  read. 

It  was  the  speech  of  some  politician  or  other  he 
read,  and  my  pencil  flew  over  the  paper,  swiftly 
taking  down.  Page  after  page  I  wrote,  and  I  had 
almost  forgotten  that  I  was  engaged  on  anything 
more  than  an  ordinary  exercise  when  suddenly  he 
called  "  Time !  "  I  stopped,  and  took  a  long  breath. 

"  Now  transcribe,"  he  said.  "  You'll  find  paper 
under  those  gloves." 

"  No,"  I  said.  "  You  take  down  now.  Saves 
time.  Transcribing's  the  slow  part,  and  we  can 
both  be  doing  that  together." 

"  All  right,"  he  said,  passing  over  the  paper  and 
making  ready. 

"Right?     Go,"  I  said. 

And  I  began  in  my  turn  to  read. 

He  had  given  me  a  continuous  speech,  but  I  gave 
him  the  Police  Column.  "  Big  Blaze  in  Bermond  • 
sey:  Suspected  Arson,"  I  gave  him.  ("  That  chap'll 
get  a  couple  of  years  for  that,"  he  interdicted).  And 
then  I  passed  to  "  Alleged  Bucket-shop  Frauds."  1 


256    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

had  already  got  my  paper  from  my  breast-pocket, 
that  paper  I  had  compiled  in  the  reading-room  of 
the  British  Museum.  .  .  . 

" — bail  being  granted  in  two  sums  of  £500,"  I 
concluded  the  bucket-shop  paragraph  and  went  on 
without  pause: — 

"  PATHETIC  CONFESSION 

"  At  Marlborough  Street  yesterday  Rose  Baxter, 
24,  seamstress,  living  in  Osnaburgh  Street,  was 
charged  before  Mr  Siddeley  with  a  determined  at- 
tempt to  commit  suicide  by  hanging  herself  in  a 
shed  adjoining  her  dwelling,  the  property  of  Messrs 
Wright,  Knapton  &  Co.  The  beginning  of  the  case 
was  reported  in  The  Argus  of  24th  June.  Inspec- 
tor Woodhead  read  aloud  a  letter  purporting  to  be 
in  the  prisoner's  handwriting,  from  which  we  take 
the  following." 

("  Cheerful  subjects  you  choose,  I  must  say," 
commented  Archie,  soiio  voce.) 

" '  Dearest  mother,  I  cannot  face  the  disgrace. 
I  hope  you  will  forgive  me  for  the  trouble  I  am 
bringing  on  you.  I  have  put  it  off  as  long  as  pos- 
sible, hoping  things  would  get  better,  but  there  is 
only  one  end  to  it." 


THE  GARRET  257 

("Kid,  eh?"  murmured  Archie,  writing.) 

" '  I  trust  God  will  forgive  me.  I  am  not  afraid 
to  die,  I  am  afraid  to  live  and  face  it.  I  cannot 
do  E.  this  wrong.  Please,  dear  mother,  think  of 
me  as  I  used  to  be.  I  have  tried  and  tried,  but  it 
is  all  no  good,  and  I  am  better  out  of  the  world. 
Give  my  love  to  everybody,  and  try,  dear  mother, 
to  forgive  me.' " 

"Time!" 

Archie  leaned  back  in  his  chair. 

"Phew!  Was  that  five  minutes?  Seemed 
short,"  he  said.  "  Just  a  breather  before  we  trans- 
scribe."  He  lighted  a  cigarette.  "  I  say,  Jeff :  do 
you  know  any  dealer  who  gives  a  decent  price  for 
second-hand  clothes?  Pve  heaps  here  I  sha'n't 
want  any  more." 

I  had  small  use  for  such  a  dealer.  "You  might 
try  Lamb's  Conduit  Street,"  I  said.  "  I've  bought 
clothes  there." 

"  Silly  ass I  didn't  mean  that !  "  He  was 

now  monstrously  careful  of  my  feelings. 

"  Say  when  you're  ready  to  transcribe,"  I  said, 
pushing  across  a  wad  of  paper. 

"All  right,  let's  get  it  over.  Pll  race  you! 
Ready?" 

We  plunged  into  our  longhand  transcription. 


258    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  Ah !  "  I  said,  twenty  minutes  later.  "  Beat  you, 
Archie!" 

He  was  racing  through  his  last  paragraph. 
"  Not  by  much,  you  haven't,"  he  said,  and  then, 
following  our  practice  with  exercises  at  the  college, 
"  No  you  haven't — you  haven't  signed — hooray !  " 
he  cried,  dashing  in  his  signature  and  looking  at 
his  watch.  "  Thirty-two  minutes — pretty  smart, 
what?" 

An  hour  later  I  left,  with  his  exercise  as  well  as 
my  own  slipped  between  the  leaves  of  Smillie's 
"  Balance  of  Trade  " — one  of  the  text-books  he  had 
given  me. 

My  hypothetical  case  was  now  completely  pre- 
pared. 

And  now  I  spared  no  effort  to  save  him.  When 
it  is  yours  to  slay  or  to  spare,  you  have  in  a  sense 
slain  even  in  sparing,  for  a  life  has  been  yours,  even 
as  Archie  Merridew's  life  lay  in  the  folds  of  that 
signed  sheet  of  paper. 

I  carried  that  signed  paper  in  my  breast  pocket 
on  the  day  of  the  breaking-up  party  to  Eichmond. 
It  had  not  been  my  intention  to  go  to  this  picnic, 
for  the  sufficient  reason  that  I  was  penniless  pas 
le  sou — but  once  more  Kitty,  to  whom  I  had  told 
some  tale  or  other  about  pressing  work,  had  broken 
out  upon  me. 


THE  GARRET  259 

"  Oh  yes — of  course — I  might  have  known !  "  she 
had  cried,  doubtless  knowing  that  "pressure  of 
work  "  tale  of  old  from  Frank  and  Alf.  "  Oh  yea 
— it  was  quite  enough  that  I  should  set  my  heart 
on  it  and  I  might  have  known  you'd  be  busy  or 
something !  Busy !  " 

Her  scornful  little  laugh  had  set  me  tingling:  I — 
busy!  But  I  had  already  seen  that  I  should  have 
to  go.  It  had  only  remained  for  me  to  climb  down 
to  the  level  of  Frank  and  Alf  in  the  easiest  possible 
way. 

"Don't  carry  on  like  that,  Kitty,"  I  had  said 
shortly.  "  It  isn't  so  much  the  work ;  the  fact  is 
I'd  like  to  go ;  but  I  can't  very  well  ask  them  to  pay 
me  for  the  work  before  it's  done,  and  the  fact  is 
I've  rather  miscalculated  this  week.  It  will  be  all 
right  next  week,  of  course." 

"  Oh,  if  that's  it,"  she  had  said,  her  hand  going 
as  naturally  to  her  pocket  as  if  she  had  inherited 
the  gesture  as  she  had  inherited  her  features  or  her 
name. 

So  I  had  accepted  her  purse,  having  accepted 
only  meals  before,  and  Alf  and  Frank  and  I  were  of 
a  marrow. 

The  paper  was  in  my  breast  pocket  as  we  walked 
down  to  the  stages  to  hire  our  boats.  We  were  a 
largish  party,  but  except  for  those  in  the  boat  in 
which  I  presently  found  myself — Evie,  Kitty  and 


260    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

Archie  Merridew — I  have  no  very  clear  recollection 
of  who  was  there.  I  took  one  oar,  Evie  the  other, 
Archie  was  not  exercising  himself  physically ;  and  he 
lay  hack  in  the  steering  seat  with  Kitty.  It  was 
hot;  I  should  have  liked  to  remove  my  coat;  hut  I 
dreaded  to  part  myself  even  hy  a  yard  from  that 
paper.  As  it  was  my  movements  caused  it  to  work 
up  a  little  in  my  inside  pocket;  I  saw  a  corner  of 
it  at  the  opening  of  the  coat;  it  had  the  appearance 
of  wishing  to  take  a  peep  at  Archie;  and  by-and-by 
Archie  asked  me  why  I  didn't  take  my  coat  off. 

"  Not  clean  shirt  day,  eh,  Jeff  ?  "  he  laughed,  with 
the  recollection  of  numerous  brown-paper  parcels  in 
his  eyes. 

He  himself  was  taking  extreme  care  of  a  pair  of 
spotless  flannels,  and  at  one  stage  of  the  afternoon, 
I  forget  when,  that  suddenly  struck  me  as  almost 
funny  enough  to  shriek  aloud  at — his  care  for  his 
flannel  bags  and  carelessness  about  everything  else. 
It  struck  me  as — I  use  the  words  quite  literally — 
devilishly  funny.  It  fascinated  me,  so  that  I  could 
not  keep  from  watching  him.  My  eyes  wandered 
from  time  to  time  to  the  other  boats  of  our  party 
and  of  other  parties,  moving  on  the  shining  river, 
but  they  always  returned  in  less  than  a  minute  to 
him,  irresistibly  drawn.  This  galgenhumor  almost 
mastered  me  as  the  paper  again  crept  up  to  take 
another  peep  at  him  as  he  lolled,  this  time  with  Evie 


THE  GARRET  261 

by  his  side,  for  Kitty  had  taken  the  other  oar.  It 
needed  so  little,  so  little  imagination  to  look  for- 
ward and  see,  strung  out  into  the  future,  the  results 
of  that  irrefutable  Evidence  in  my  pocket — the  in- 
quest at  which  I  should  not  even  be  called  as  a  wit- 
ness— the  funeral  I  need  attend  only  as  a  mourner 
— the  shock — the  hushing  up — and  the  certainty  of 
everybody  that  they  knew  all  about  it!  It  was  all 
horribly,  horribly  perfect.  .  .  . 

A  picnic  ?     Oh  yes,  this  was  a  picnic.     .     .     . 

"  Do  take  your  coat  off,  Jeff — you'll  be  so  much 
more  comfortable — why,  you're  streaming !  "  This 
came  from  Kitty,  who  had  the  air  of  publicly  pos- 
sessing me,  though  only  partly  by  reason  of  hav- 
ing paid  for  me,  I  think. 

"  Oh,  I'm  quite  all  right — really  quite  comfort- 
able," I  replied. 

And  then  I  thought  of  Evie,  and  that  horrible 
humour  rolled  away  from  me.  Evie,  What  about 
her?  She  spoke  even  then. 

"  Jeff's  doing  all  the  work,"  she  said.  "  Fm  sure 
Kitty  and  I  could  manage  the  boat  quite  well." 

"  Better  stay  as  we  are,"  I  replied.  "  Archie  and 
I  wouldn't  trim." 

Yes,  what  about  Evie? 

Well,  for  her  it  was  only  a  choice  of  sacrifices. 
The  choice  was  not  of  my  determining;  I  put  that 
responsibility  on  him.  There  was  still  time;  I 


262    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

would  save  him  if  I  could;  that  was  settled;  but 
further  than  that  I  would  not  go.  Should  she  fail 
to  survive  the  shock  it  would  be  he,  not  I  who  had 
killed  her.  Better  that,  however.  .  .  . 

If  you  can  see  what  else  I  could  have  done,  tell 
me.  I  am  willing  to  learn. 

And  so  we  went  up  the  river,  and  drew  in  under 
a  bank  for  tea,  and  then  went  ashore  for  a  walk,  I 
with  Kitty,  he  with  Evie,  and  so  back  to  the  boat 
again.  I  do  not  remember  quite  how  the  time  went. 
I  know  that  the  sun  went  down  in  a  flush  of  rose, 
and  that  Japanese  lanterns  appeared  on  the  water 
and  in  the  water  in  long  smooth  reflections,  and  that 
parties  were  singing  and  playing  banjos  in  the  twi- 
light. I  could  not  have  sat  by  Evie — it  really  would 
have  put  the  boat  out  of  trim — and  so  I  had  not  to 
sit  by  Kitty  either.  She  and  I  pulled  again ;  Archie 
and  Evie  in  the  stern  seat  were  hardly  distinguish- 
able; and  Archie,  who  had  been  singing,  was  quiet 
again. 

And  I  must  have  succeeded  in  keeping  that  dread- 
ful mirth  of  mine  to  myself,  for  Kitty  had  noticed 
nothing.  She  stood  by  my  side  in  the  crowded  sta- 
tion afterwards,  murmuring  to  me  how  lovely  it  had 
been. 

That  is  all  I  remember  about  that  picnic. 

Nor  have  I  any  reason  for  not  telling  you  the 
truth  about  this.  I  am  concealing  neither  the  man 


THE  GARKET  263 

nor  the  devil  in  me.  "For  many  years  I  have  been 
almost  entirely  -untroubled  by  it  all,  and  I  make 
even  this  slight  qualification  only  because  during 
the  last  month  I  have  had  feelings,  not  of  remorse, 
but  of  something  that  is  better  described  as  a  sort 
of  backward  curiosity.  Perhaps  it  is  a  little  more 
even  than  that,  for  a  certain  measure  of  admiration 
is  not  entirely  absent  from  it.  Don't  misunder- 
stand me,  however.  That  tincture  of  admiration 
is  not  so  strong  that  I  cannot  rest  unless  somebody 
admires  my  cleverness  with  me.  Nothing  irresist- 
ibly urges  me  to  give  myself  away.  But  I  have 
felt  a  little  that  backward  pull  of  a  man's  own  acts. 
I  do  not  know,  though  practically  it  has  not  come 
near  me,  why  men  revisit  places.  I  do  not  revisit 
that  house  near  the  Foundling  Hospital — yet  I  do 
write  this  shorthand  carefully  locking  my  door  be- 
fore I  begin  and  committing  it  to  the  most  private 
recess  of  my  cabinet  as  I  complete  each  instal- 
ment. .  .  .  Yet  other  compunction,  if  this  be 
compunction,  have  I  none.  I  am  rich,  I  am  serv- 
ing my  age  by  a  more  arduous  grappling  with  its 
economic  problems  than  any  of  my  contemporaries, 
I  could  have  had  Pepper's  knighthood  had  I  wished 
for  it,  and  I  have  been  married  this  long  time  to 
Evie  Soames.  .  .  .  No,  on  the  whole  I  do  not 
believe  in  melodramatic  retributions.  No  shadowy 
shape  of  a  fair-haired  and  red-waistcoated  figure 


264    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

glides  at  my  elbow  or  steps  with  me  into  my  broug- 
ham, and  when  I  close  my  eyes  at  night  I  do  not 
see  as  on  a  painted  curtain  that  dimity-papered, 
lamp-lighted  upper  chamber  of  his.  I  do  not  start 
at  sudden  sounds,  nor  fear  to  be  left  alone  in  my 
library  when  it  grows  late.  I  play  with  my  clean- 
born  children.  Evie  is  happy  with  me.  And  I 
even  have  Miss  Angela  in  a  cleft  stick — for,  when 
things  go  well,  she  is  my  gentle  and  much-loved 
maiden  aunt  by  marriage,  but  when  they  go  across 
she  is  my  mother-in-law,  who  would  stare  incredu- 
lously at  any  who  might  hint  that  my  brain  could 
plot  a  horror  and  my  two  hands  execute  it. 

And  yet  I  write  this,  and  sometimes  waste  an 
hour  in  wondering  why,  all  of  a  sudden,  Kitty 
Windus  threw  me  over  without  giving  a  reason,  and, 
when  I  went  for  one,  had  left  her  rooms  in  Percy 
Street  and  gone  goodness  knows  where. 

But  bah !  They  are  wrong  who  say  that  for  every 
crime  somebody  has  to  pay.  They  speak  from  hear- 
say. I  do  not  speak  from  hearsay.  To  my  own 
knowledge  one  crime  has  been  committed  for  which 
nobody  has  paid  and  nobody  ever  will. 

Well,  things  are  as  they  are  .  .  .  and  so  I 
will  make  an  end. 

My  desperate  struggles  to  save  Archie  Merridew 
included  an  interview  that  I  had  positively  to  force 
from  Miss  Angela.  I  had  to  force  it  for  the  rea- 


THE  GARRET  265 

son  that,  though  I  was  now  theoretically  exculpated 
from  the  charge  under  which  I  had  lain,  slander 
always  sticks,  and  some  of  it  still  stuck  with  Miss 
Soames  in  spite  of  her  efforts  to  forget  it.  That, 
I  think,  was  the  reason  why  she  saw  me  in  the  din- 
ing-room at  Woburn  Place  instead  of  in  her  own 
sitting-room,  where,  I  knew,  Evie  was.  There, 
among  the  empty  chairs,  toying  with  Mr.  Shoto's 
napkin-ring  and  putting  it  down  again  as  I  remem- 
bered whose  it  was,  and  then  unconsciously  taking 
it  up  again,  I  told  her  in  such  terms  as  I  could  find 
how  matters  stood.  She  nodded  from  time  to  time. 

Again  it  was  not  my  fault  if  she  failed  to  under- 
stand. She  did,  I  now  know,  fail,  and  failed  the  more 
hopelessly  that  she  thought  she  did  understand. 
Many,  many  thick  wrappings  lie  between  placid 
Aunt  Angela  and  the  stark  realities  of  Life. 

"  I  see  perfectly,"  she  said,  when  I  had  made  that 
statement  that  would  have  appalled  any  but  herself. 
"  It  was  exactly  the  same  with  George.  (I  was  once 
— engaged — to  a  man  called  George.)  George  put 
a  precisely  similar  case  quite  plainly  before  me. 
He  was  consumptive,  or  rather  his  poor  father  was, 
and  they  do  say  it  skips  a  generation — poor 
George !  " 

I  shook  my  head,  but  she  only  sighed  with  gentle 
content.  She  did  not  really  miss  George. 

"  But,"  she  went  on,  while  my  eyes  wandered  to 


266     IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

the  corner  by  the  sideboard  where  Archie  had  had 
his  conversation  with  Mr  Shoto  about  the  Yoshi- 
wara,  "  I  shouldn't  have  refused  him  for  that.  (I 
did  refuse  him,  and  I  heard  afterwards  that  for 
weeks  he  ate  scarcely  anything  at  all.)  It  was 
something  quite  different  that  came  between  us — 
I've  never  told  even  Evie  what  the  real  reason  was." 

I  interrupted  her.  "  Are  you  sure,  Miss  Soames, 
that  you've  quite  understood  my  real  reason  ? " 
(More  plainly  I  dared  not  speak,  lest  later  there 
should  be  a  chink  in  my  own  armour.) 

"  Oh  yes !  "  she  purred  lightly.  "  Old  woman  as 
I  am,  I  quite  understand!  As  you  say  .  .  . 
'  the  children.'  .  .  ."  Then,  forgetting  her  at- 
titude for  a  moment,  she  became  playfully  roguish. 
"  Of  course,  it  isn't  as  if  you  weren't  in  love  with 
Miss  Windus,  and  so  in  a  sense  feel  it  more  nearly. 
You  know  how  you  would  feel  about  it.  I  only 
say  this  that  you  may  see  that  I  quite  understand 
these  things  do  make  a  difference — eh  ?  " 

"  But  when  I  solemnly  assure  you  that  that  has 
nothing  whatever  to  do  with  it" 

She  adjusted  the  Indian  shawl  coquettishly  about 
her  shoulders. 

"  Ah,  that's  what  you  think !  Come,  Mr  Jeffries 
you're  positively  ungallant!  As  if  I  was  so  old 
that  I'd  forgotten !  And  not  only  George  either !  I 
hope  you  won't  be  offended,  Mr  Jeffries,  if  I  tell 


THE  GARRET  267 

you  that  I  suspect — I  suspect — that  in  this  I  know 
you  better  than  you  know  yourself !  " 

Against  that  phrase  there  is  no  argument.  Some 
people  do  not  and  cannot  see.  And  again  I  did  not 
think  Miss  Angela  had  the  right  to  extract  from  me 
the  uttermost  word.  I  was  aware  that  the  very  pos- 
session of  that  awful  weapon  of  mine  was  danger- 
ous; merely  to  have  it  might  be  to  use  it;  but  the 
question  is  one  of  your  resolve,  and  I  was  fully  re- 
solved. My  job  had  to  be  done,  or  (as  I  still  dared 
in  certain  moments  to  hope)  not  to  be  done;  but  if 
it  was  to  be  done,  it  was  going  to  be  done  thoroughly. 
My  neck  was  not  going  into  a  noose  because  of  other 
people's  blindness.  It  was  of  no  use  talking  to 
Miss  Angela. 

And  that  being  so,  I  abandoned  my  attempt  with 
her.  I  smiled. 

"Well,  perhaps  you're  right,"  I  said.  "When 
one  is  in  love  oneself,  and  looking  forward — well, 
perhaps  it  does  bring  it  home  to  one.  Perhaps  it 
makes  one  a  little  of  a  busybody.  So,"  I  concluded, 
"  I  hope  you  won't  exaggerate  what  I've  been  say- 
ing." 

And  a  few  minutes'  further  talk  of  things  she 
had  actually  seen  for  herself  in  Archie — such  things 
as  his  slight  intemperance  on  the  night  of  the  birth- 
day-party— made  me  quite  safe  with  Miss  Angela 
also. 


268    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

To  Kitty  I  was  able  to  say  even  less  than  this. 
Indeed,  she  now  detested  Archie  so  thoroughly  that 
I  was  scarcely  able  to  say  anything  at  all.  And, 
looking  back  with  all  the  care  I  am  master  of,  I 
cannot  see  that  anything  I  did  say  could  have  been 
the  cause  of  that  extraordinary  breaking  off  with 
me  without  a  word. 

To  Evie  I  said  nothing  at  all. 

There  remained  one  more  attempt  with  himself. 

The  time  I  chose  for  this  was  fixed  by  the  exi- 
gencies of  all  the  circumstances.  I  would  have 
wrestled  with  him  for  the  whole  of  the  two  days 
that  remained  before  his  wedding,  but  his  own  ab- 
sence for  a  day  precluded  this.  And  as  during  that 
day  I  sought  him  in  vain,  I  thought,  very  wearily, 
that  he  must  now  take  his  chance.  Therefore,  when 
it  came  to  the  very  last  day,  the  day  before  his 
wedding,  I  recognised  that  that  also  gave  a  perfect 
touch  to  the  Evidence.  The  very  eve  of  his  wed- 
ding. 

Several  evenings  before  would  somehow  have  been 
less  plausible. 

As  I  walked  to  his  rooms  that  night  I  carried 
with  me  three  things.  Under  my  arm  was  my  old 
brown-paper  parcel — for  to  make  a  final  use  of  his 
bath  had  seemed  to  me  the  most  natural  excuse  for 
my  calling  on  him.  In  my  breast  pocket  I  carried 
that  piece  of  paper  that  was  to  be  the  Evidence 


THE  GARRET  269 

to  the  world.  And  in  another  pocket  I  had  his 
latch-key,  for  which  I  foresaw  a  use  later  in  the 
evening. 

I  knocked  at  his  door  a  little  after  eight,  and 
Jane  admitted  me.  She  gave  a  familiar  look  at 
the  parcel  that  contained  my  shirt,  and  also  said 
something  about  a  box  Mr  Merridew  was  leaving 
behind  for  the  care  of  which  he  wanted  me  to  be 
responsible.  I  passed  this  box  on  the  first  landing. 
It  was  locked,  but  only  half  addressed — Archie  had 
not  yet  secured  the  rooms  to  which  he  would  return 
with  Evie.  But  he  had  not  yet  said  anything  about 
the  box  to  me. 

I  found  him  walking  about  his  rooms,  taking  last 
peeps  into  empty  drawers  to  see  whether  there  was 
anything  he  had  forgotten.  His  packing  was 
finished,  and  he  kept  stopping  in  his  prowl  to  throw 
another  handful  of  old  letters  on  to  the  smouldering 
heap  in  his  old  Queen  Anne  teapot  of  a  grate.  A 
little  pile  of  these  condemned  letters  still  remained 
by  the  side  of  his  perforated  brass  fender. 

"  Hallo !  "  he  cried  as  I  entered.  "  Just  give  a 
squint  round,  will  you,  and  tell  me  if  there's  any- 
thing so  big  I  can't  see  it.  And  I  say:  I've  left 
a  box  downstairs;  I  wonder  if  you'd  look  after  it 
for  me  ?  I've  told  Jane." 

"  Right !  "  I  said.     "  Bath  ready  ? » 

"  All  ready.     By  Jove !  how  letters  do  accumu- 


270    IN  ACCOKDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

late!  You  go  and  scrub  yourself,  while  I  polish 
this  lot  off." 

I  went  into  his  bathroom. 

But  I  did  not  make  use  of  his  bath.  Somehow 
I  could  not  bring  myself  to  it.  I  only  wanted  the 
bath  to  be  known  as  my  motive  for  calling.  So  I 
filled  it,  stood  by  it  for  a  number  of  minutes,  and 
then  ran  the  water  off  again.  I  took  the  same 
brown-paper  parcel  with  me  into  his  sitting-room 
that  I  had  brought  out. 

I  did  not  stay  long  after  that.  I  was  coming 
back.  At  nine  I  rose. 

"  What,  are  you  off  ? "  he  said.  "  I  must  say  you 
take  what  you  want  and  clear  off  pretty  quick! 
Supper'll  be  up  presently." 

"A  last  stag-party?"  I  said.  "  Fin  afraid 
you'll  have  to  have  it  without  me.  I've  got  to  get 
to  Bedford  yet.  So,"  I  added,  "I  shall  have  to 
wish  you — you  know — get  it  over  now." 

"  Oh,  don't  put  on  so  much  blessed  ceremony !  " 
he  said.  "  It  isn't  as  if  you  weren't  going  to  see  me 
again ! " 

It  wasn't, 

"  Oh,  about  that  box,"  I  said.  "  Better  call  Jane, 
and  tell  me  in  her  presence." 

"  Well,  if  you  will  leave  me  to  eat  my  last 
bachelor  supper  alone.  But  I  should  have  had  to 
clear  out  myself  just  after.  Got  to  have  a  word 


THE  GARRET  271 

with  Aunt  Angela — she  let's  me  call  her  that  now." 

He  moved  towards  the  door. 

"  Where  are  you  going  ? "  I  asked. 

"  To  call  Jane,"  he  replied.  "  Bell's  busted  now 
—time  I  cleared  out  of  here — whole  place  is  coin- 
ing to  pieces.  .  .  .  Jane !  Ja — ne !  "  he  shouted 
down  the  well  of  the  stairs. 

Then  as  Jane  didn't  hear  he  descended  to  the 
floor  below. 

His  old  red  woollen  bell-rope  lay  in  a  heap  on  the 
floor.  That  also  had  happened  as  a  result  of  my 
studies  in  the  British  Museum.  I  busied  myself 
with  it.  ...  By  the  time  he  had  returned  I 
had  made  it  quite  ready  and  was  gazing  thought- 
fully into  his  fireplace. 

I  went  downstairs  with  Jane,  who  herself  closed 
the  door  behind  me.  I  gave  her  a  very  express 
good-night. 

The  remainder  of  that  evening  I  can  divide  into 
four  distinct  stages,  and  I  will  adopt  that  course, 
taking  them  numerically. 

The  first  stage  was  one  of  an  almost  overwhelm- 
ing lassitude.  I  had  an  hour  and  a  half  and  more 
to  kill,  and  this  lassitude  came  upon  me  suddenly 
as  I  walked  slowly  in  the  direction  of  Cheapside.  I 
was  in  its  power  before  I  recognised  its  dangers. 
The  man  of  action  had  suddenly  sunk  into  abeyance 


272    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

with  me,  and,  now  that  all  was  ready,  all  interest 
in  my  job  had  departed  from  me.  The  drudgery 
of  actual  performance  was  all  at  once  beyond  my 
powers.  I  could  have  gone  on  planning — I  wished 
there  had  been  more  to  plan — but  now  to  carry 
out.  .  .  . 

I  collapsed  suddenly. 

Why  (I  asked  myself  wearily)  trouble  after  all? 
Why  trouble  about  anything?  Life  was  short,  yet 
already  too  long;  its  activities  overlauded,  its  glories 
contemptibly  little;  why  waste  it  in  striving — nay, 
why  live  it  all?  Thirty  years  of  it  had  brought 
me  nothing;  whatever  another  thirty  years  might 
bring  me  I  should  have  to  leave,  and  what  would 
it  matter  after  that  whether  I  left  much  or  little? 
Nay,  were  there  really  an  Infinite  Mercy  to  be 
"  squared,"  it  was  perhaps  better  to  cast  myself  be- 
fore it  helpless,  naked,  and  without  profit  of  my 
life.  Why  not  end  it  all  now?  Why  not  kill,  not 
Archie,  but  myself? 

I  turned  with  bowed  head  down  the  Minories,  and 
something  within  me — I  think  it  was  that  honest 
and  beaten  and  bloody-minded  Jeffries — whispered 
"TheEiver!" 

Presently  I  stood  not  far  from  the  Tower,  looking 
over  a  parapet  into  the  dark  water. 

Yes,  the  river  would  settle  it,  that  was  the  real 
way  out.  No  more  Agency  clerkships  and  red-and- 


THE  GARRET  273 

green-lighted  apartments  and  sham  betrothals  on  the 
other  side  of  that  parapet.  And  no  more  heart- 
rending strivings  to  he  free  of  the  circumstances 
into  which  the  world  malignantly  thrust  me  back 
the  moment  I  raised  my  head.  Striving?  I 
realised  all  my  striving  in  the  past — Rixon  Tebb  & 
Masters',  the  Method  examination,  my  commission- 
aireship,  the  wanton  slander,  my  late  perfected  plan 
— and  the  thought  that  the  years  to  come  might  be 
but  repetitions  of  all  this  hit  me  like  a  hammer.  I 
could  not  face  it. 

Then  a  detached  sentence  from  one  of  the  books 
I  had  read  in  the  museum  sprang  up  in  my  mind, 
and  I  started  a  little.  The  sentence  was  to  the 
effect  that  a  man  who  leaps  into  water  always  re- 
moves his  hat  before  doing  so.  I  did  not  remember 
that  I  had  taken  my  own  hat  off,  but  there  it  lay, 
on  the  parapet,  at  my  elbow. 

Then,  "  Well,  it  will  do  to  cover  some  other  poor 
devil's  head,"  murmured  that  tired  Jeffries,  "  Get 
it  over,  and  send  that  conscienceless  young  scamp 
to  hell  with  your  blood  on  his  head.  Somebody  al- 
ways pays,  you  know." 

I  removed  my  coat. 

But  that  tired  Jeffries  never  spoke  unanswered, 
and  these  words  were  answerable.  To  make  a  hole 
in  the  water  from  sheer  weariness  was  one  thing, 
but  to  destroy  myself  to  compass  another's  damna- 


274    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

tion  was  quite  a  different  one.  The  other  Jeffries 
spoke. 

"  Why  should  you  kill  yourself  for  his  sin  ?  Each 
man  must  bear  his  own.  Nay,  it  is  not  committed 
yet  and  will  not  be  if  you  are  strong  and  play  the 
man.  Are  you  going  to  fold  your  hands  and  al- 
low Evie.  .  .  ." 

And  at  the  thought  of  Evie  I  felt  my  sluggish 
blood  creep  again. 

"  You  live  in  a  practical  world — be  practical," 
continued  that  satanic  James  Herbert.  "  Preven- 
tion is  better  than  cure.  .  Even  could  he  be  pun- 
ished afterwards,  how  much  better  off  would  she 
be  ...  then?  What  right  have  you  to  bring 
this  horror  on  her?  He's  selfish,  ignorant,  cruel — 
it  would  be  dreadful  at  the  best;  but  ...  oh, 
think,  man !  Think  of  her  now  .  .  .  and  to- 
morrow ! " 

"  You  only  want  her  yourself,"  growled  the  other. 

"  You  do — but  that's  not  your  motive !  "  cried 
the  first.  "  You've  overlooked  all  he's  done  to  you 
— but  this  isn't  to  you!  Coward — if  you  allow  it! 
You  won't  allow  it — to  kill  him  would  be  better 
than  to  allow  it.  ...  Come;  what  time  is  it? 
She'll  be  preparing  for  bed  by  the  time  you  get 
there." 

I  put  on  my  hat  and  coat  again. 

This  was  my  first  stage. 


THE  GARRET'.  275 

The  second  began  with  my  approach  to  Wobnrn 
Place. 

The  sitting-room  with  the  pink-shaded  lamp  lay 
at  the  front  of  the  house,  but  Evie  and  her  aunt 
slept  at  the  back.  The  sitting-room  was  in  dark- 
ness as  I  passed.  I  took  a  side  street,  and  then  a 
back  cartway  used  by  tradesmen.  A  high  wall  was 
in  front  of  me,  but  by  stepping  back  I  could  see 
the  hinder  part  of  the  row — landing  windows,  bath- 
room windows,  tiny  conservatories,  bedrooms — va- 
rious oblongs  at  different  levels,  some  blinded,  some 
with  lamps,  many  in  darkness.  Behind  me  was  a 
mews,  with  horses  that  moved  their  feet  in  their- 
litter  and  dragged  at  chains  from  time  to  time. 

The  tradesmen's  entrances  were  unnumbered,  and 
I  do  not  know  whether  I  hit  on  the  right  house ;  but 
that  did  not  matter.  I  have  mentioned  my  uncom- 
mon powers  of  mental  visualisation,  and  these 
sufficed  me.  I  fixed  my  eyes  on  a  window ;  it  might 
or  might  not  have  been  Evie's;  but  to  all  intents 
and  purposes  it  was.  Somebody  was  retiring  there, 
and  the  blind  was  lowered. 

I  saw  no  hand,  no  shadow  on  the  blind.  Only 
the  light  went  out  suddenly,  and  from  the  sound 
the  blind  made  as  it  went  up  I  judged  it  to  be  a 
spring  blind.  A  piano  had  begun  to  play  some- 
where, but  save  for  that  all  was  silent. 

It  was  the  last  of  her  single  days. 


276    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

Tomorrow. 

My  heart  was  hideously  alive  again.  -What! 
Fold  my  hands — drown — and  Evie  as  she  still  was 
up  there. 

Soft  and  terrible  ejaculations  began  to  break  from 
my  lips. 

"  Ah,  would  he  ?  Would  he  ?  He  would,  would 
he?" 

A  clock  struck  half-past  eleven. 

This  was  my  second  stage. 

I  will  begin  the  third  at  the  moment  when  I 
pushed  gently  at  the  gate  over  the  whitewashed  area 
near  the  Foundling  Hospital. 

His  light  still  showed  over  the  leads,  but  the  base- 
ment was  in  darkness.  Evidently  Jane  had  gone 
to  bed.  I  felt  in  my  pocket  for  his  latchkey, 
mounted  the  three  steps,  and  with  infinite  softness 
put  the  key  into  the  lock  and  turned  it.  The  door 
opened  noiselessly,  and  I  prevented  the  click  as  I 
closed  it  again  by  letting  the  little  brass  knob  gently 
back  with  my  thumb.  Then  silently  I  began  to 
mount  his  stairs,  passing  on  the  way  the  locked  box 
that  had  been  put  into  my  charge.  I  reached  the 
top.  The  first  sound  I  had  made  since  entering  the 
house  was  my  tap  at  Archie's  door. 

"  Come  in ! "  his  tenor  voice  called  from  behind 
the  door. 

I  entered. 


THE  GARRET  277 

At  first  he  did  not  seem  more  than  ordinarily  sur- 
prised to  see  me;  it  was  only  after  a  moment  that 
the  oddness  struck  him. 

"  Hallo ! "  he  began,  in  natural  though  not  alto- 
gether cordial  tones.  .  .  .  Then,  "  Hallo  I  I 
thought  you  were  in  Bedford  by  this  time." 

"  Missed  my  train,"  I  said. 

He  stared  mistrustfully.     .     .     . 

He  had  been  preparing  for  bed.  He  had  re- 
moved his  collar  and  tie,  and  his  red  waistcoat  was 
unbuttoned.  Through  the  chink  of  his  bedroom 
door  I  saw  the  light  of  his  second  lamp. 

In  his  surprise  at  seeing  me  back  again,  he  had 
half  risen  from  his  arm-chair.  He  remained, 
his  hands  on  the  arms  of  it,  neither  sitting  nor 
standing,  as  he  asked  suddenly,  "  Who  let  you 
in?" 

"  Myself,"  I  answered,  in  an  even  tone.  *'  A 
little  unceremonious,  perhaps,  but  I  knew  Jane  had 
gone  to  bed  and  didn't  want  to  fetch  you  down. 
The  fact  is,  I've  found  your  latchkey." 

"  You've  found  my  latchkey !  " 

"  In  my  coat  pocket.  Don't  ask  me  how  it  got 
there.  Our  two  coats  were  hanging  together  one 
night,  but  even  then  I  don't  quite  see.  .  .  . 
Here  it  is  anyway." 

I  put  it  on  the  table. 

e  That's  a  rum  'un,"  he  said,  slowly  sitting  down 


278    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

in  Ms  chair  again,  but  keeping  his  eyes  on  mine. 
"  So  you  came  back  to  give  it  me  ? " 

"  I  came  back  to  give  it  you.  Besides,"  my  eyes 
were  on  his  slender  bare  neck,  "  since  I  was  com- 
ing back — I  thought  I'd  like  another  word  with  you 
before "  I  paused. 

For  a  moment  I  could  not  understand  the  readi- 
ness with  which  he  took  up  the  thing  I  had  not  said. 
His  lips  had  compressed  a  little. 

"Ah!  Again?"  he  said,  with  a  little  kindling 
in  his  eyes. 

"'Again'?"  Then  I  saw.  He  had  seen  Miss 
Angela  during  the  last  hour,  and  she  had  doubtless 
spoken  of  my  own  call  on  her.  "Yes,  again,"  I 
answered. 

That  third  stage  had  a  curious  close.  That  close 
was  nothing  less  than  the  reunification  of  those  two 
halves  of  the  Giant  to  the  fabulous  splitting  into  two 
of  whom  I  have  likened  my  mental  state.  They 
came  together  again,  these  two  halves,  as  the  two 
forces  come  together  that  make  the  thunder  clap 
.  .  .  but  of  this  in  a  moment. 

After  several  moments  of  increasingly  rapid  talk, 
we  were  both  standing,  he  defiantly  with  one  hand 
on  the  edge  of  the  mantelpiece,  I  at  the  other  end 
of  the  hearth.  He  had  risen  a  moment  before  at 
certain  words  of  mine,  as  if  to  inform  me  that  our 
interview  was  over.  Once  I  had  seen  his  eyes  move 


THE  GARRET  279 

towards  the  place  where  the  bell-rope  should  have 
been,  but  that  lay,  a  red  woollen  heap,  on  the  floor 
behind  me,  and  he  would  have  had  to  pass  me  in 
order  to  get  into  his  bedroom.  He  had  found  an 
appearance  of  forcefulness  in  the  use  of  violent 
words. 

"  Why,  damn  your  impudence ! "  he  blustered. 
"  Look  here,  my  good  man !  If  you  suppose  I'm 
going  to  be  talked  to  like  this  by  you  or  anybody 
else " 

"  Then  deny  the  fact,"  I  said  for  the  fifth  time. 

"  I'll  not  deny  or  anything  else  till  I  know  what 
right " 

"  I  know  it  comes  late,  but  I've  spoken  of  it  be- 
fore." 

"  Yes — sneaking  behind  my  back !  "  he  said  hotly, 
probably  again  remembering  his  recent  conversa- 
tion with  Miss  Angela. 

"  To  your  face." 

"Yes — and  if  it  hadn't  been  for  something  else 
I  should  have  told  you  then  what  an  interfering 
devil  you  were !  " 

"  Merridew,"  I  said  slowly,  "  it's  the  last  time." 

He  sneered. 

"I'm  glad  of  that — and  confound  you  for  a 
meddler !  "  he  cried.  "  If  that's  all  you  came  for, 
get  out,  and  I'll  get  somebody  else  to  look  after  my 
trunk !  " 


280    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

We  were  silent  for  a  space,  and  in  that  space  I 
heard  the  voice  of  that  human  Jeffries,  almost  piti- 
fully seeking  still  to  save  him.  "  Give  him  every 
chance,"  sobbed  that  Jeffries,  "  he's  only  a  weakling 
— you  could  crush  him  mentally  as  you  could  phys- 
ically— it  would  be  little  better  than  infanticide — 
try  him  again — show  him  that  red  thing  on  the 
floor — and  that  carved  thing  on  the  door." 

But  now  Archie  in  his  turn  seemed  to  have  be- 
come divided.  He  had  suddenly  turned  white. 
But  an  habitual  pertness  still  persisted  in  his  tongue. 
I  don't  think  this  had  any  relation  whatever  to  the 
physical  peril  he  seemed  at  last  to  have  realised  he 
was  in.  I  stood  over  him  huge  and  black  as 
Fate.  ..."  Spare  him  if  you  can,"  that  gen- 
erous bloodthirsty  devil  in  me  muttered  quickly. 

"  Merridew,"  I  said  heavily,  "  you'll  disappear 
to-morrow  morning  .  .  .  or " 

"Shall  I?"  he  bragged  falteringly.     .     .     . 

"  And  you  won't  come  back.  I  shall  stay  here 
to-night  and  put  you  into  the  train  myself." 

"  Then  you'll  have  to  sleep  in  the  bath — and  you 
should  know  by  this  time  how  small  that  is,"  came 
from  his  lips. 

And  yet  it  came  only  from  his  lips.  His  terrified 
heart  had  no  part  in  it.  His  only  chance  now  was 
to  have  screamed  aloud. 

But   he   did   not   scream.      Instead,    he    stooped 


THE  GAKEET  281 

swiftly,  caught  up  the  poker,  and  struck  at  niy  head 
with  it. 

It  was  then  that  the  thunder-clap  came,  and  that 
I  was  James  Herbert  Jeffries,  whole,  and  a  mur- 
derer. Swiftly  as  Archie  and  I  caine  together  the 
halves  of  that  Giant  came  together.  Instinctively 
I  had  guarded  my  head,  perhaps  realising — I  can- 
not say — that  a  single  drop  of  blood  might  mean  for 
me  precisely  what  I  intended  to  do  to  him;  but  it 
mattered  little  whether  blood  blinded  my  eyes  or 
not.  Another  redness  gorged  me,  and  then,  my 
mind  became  whitely  blind.  As  colours  are  lost  on 
a  disc  that  revolves,  so  all  my  plans  and  prepara- 
tions spun  and  mingled.  All  was  there,  yet  nothing 
was  there.  For  an  instant  my  visual  memories  of 
that  pleasant,  dimity-papered  apartment  stood  sep- 
arate; my  own  old  experiences  and  new  divinations 
also  stood  separate;  I  saw  ahead,  three  or  four  min- 
utes ahead,  his  struggles  in  my  great  arms,  my  left 
arm  about  his  ankles,  my  right  hand  over  his  mouth, 
the  red  of  the  woollen  bell-rope  against  his  white 
neck  .  .  .  and  then  all  wheeled  hideously  to- 
gether. .  .  . 

I  was  upon  him,  smothering  him  with  my  bulk, 
and  wondering  even  as  I  bore  him  backwards  to  the 
door  whether  I  myself  was  bleeding.  .  .  . 

The  fourth   stage   was   characterised   throughout 


282    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

by  an  extraordinary  quietness.  There  was  the  light 
sound  of  the  turning  of  paper  in  it,  for  I  had  to 
search  in  a  pile  of  old  books  and  papers  for  his 
shorthand  pad  and  to  make  sure  I  had  the  right 
one — I  had  to  take  from  my  breast  pocket  another 
sheet  of  paper  and  to  glance  at  that  also  to  make 
sure  that  it  also  was  the  right  one — and  then  I  had 
to  approach  the  bedroom  door  and  to  drop  this  into 
his  pocket.  .  .  . 

But  before  I  did  any  of  these  things  I  tiptoed  to 
the  mirror  over  the  mantelpiece  in  order  to  see 
whether  I  bled. 

I  did  not.  My  left  eye  was  of  a  dull  red,  but  not 
with  blood,  and  I  could  deal  with  that.  As  a  prep- 
aration for  dealing  with  it  I  emptied  at  a  draught 
the  brandy  flask  he  had  prepared  for  his  journey 
on  the  morrow. 

Softly  as  a  cat  I  continued  to  move  about. 

Then  I  had  to  remember  which  of  his  stairs 
creaked  to  the  tread.  They  were  the  fourth  and  the 
tenth  from  the  first  landing ;  I  knew  that  as  well  as 
I  knew  my  own  name;  and  yet  for  a  time  I  really 
could  not  remember  the  numbers. 

The  room  was  quiet  as  a  grave  as  I  gave  a  final 
glance  round  at  the  displayed  Evidence.  ... 

Then  behind  his  Queen  Anne  grate  a  cricket  be- 
gan to  sing. 

Nobody  saw  me  leave  the  house.     I  had  to  bring 


THE  GARRET  283 

his  latchkey  away.  Without  it  the  latch  would  have 
clicked  as  I  closed  the  door  from  the  outside. 

Then  I  crossed  Mecklenburgh  Square  and  walked 
towards  King's  Cross. 

A  quarter  of  an  hour  later  an  apparently  very 
drunken  man  of  uncommon  stature  lurched  heavily 
through  the  swing  doors  of  my  public-house  and  fell 
full  length  on  the  floor  in  the  middle  of  a  knot  of 
drinkers.  A  barman  dived  quickly  under  the  flap 
of  the  counter,  with  an  "  Outside !  "  rushed  towards 
me.  I  was  hauled  to  my  feet.  I  had  a  hand  over 
one  eye. 

"  'E's  copped  the  brewer  all  right !  "  a  cheerful 
voice  sounded  in  my  ear.  "  Just  smell  'im !  Must 
ha'  been  drinking  it  straight  out  o'  the  cask." 

"  '  Ere — 'old  'ard — ain't  it  your  lodger  ?  "  some- 
body else  said  suddenly. 

"  Is  it  ?     Lumme,  so  it  is !     Look  at  'is  eye ! " 

"Ain't 'alf  a  mouse!" 

"  'Ere,  'elp  me  up  with  'im  the  back  way,  Jim — 
Lord!  'e  weighs  a  ton!  I've  never  known  'im  'ave 
a  drink  'ere,  but  there,  they  get  it  at  one  place  if 
they  don't  at  another." 

Then  somebody  bawled  to  me : 

"Look  out — don't  blow  your  nose — you'll  'are 
your  eye  up  if  you  do !  " 

But  I  wanted  my  eye  "  up."  Up  it  came  in- 
stantly, large  as  an  egg,  and  there  was  a  laugh. 


284    IN  ACCORDANCE  WITH  THE  EVIDENCE 

"  Well,  7e  won't  brag  much  about  where  'e  got 
that!"  somebody  said. 

And  they  helped  me  up  to  my  red-and-green- 
lighted  room. 

They  say  somebody  always  pays.  Well,  this  my 
story.  It  is  a  long  time  ago,  and  nobody  has  paid 
yet.  Nor,  as  far  as  I  can  see,  is  it  likely  that  any- 
body ever  will.  There  is  only  one  detail  that  I 
have  not  been  able  properly  to  attend  to,  and  even 
that  has  attended  to  itself — for  of  course  Kitty 
Windus  fled  because  she  realised  that  I  was  in  love 
with  Evie.  I  could  hardly  expect  her  to  stay  after 
that. 

"No:  nobody  has  paid.     Nobody  ever  will. 


THE    END 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


